We Hate Movies

“Kill any of these people! Is it possible for any of them to die?” - Steve on the titular Expendables On this week’s episode, after we figure out how to pronounce the title, we’re chatting about the fourth, and likely final, film in the franchise, Expend4bles! Is it time to wrap up the franchise when the casting ‘gets’ keep getting smaller and smaller? Why can’t Jason Statham and Tony Jaa get some buddy action film instead? Why did the film team rely on so much wretched CGI? And how are we rooting for Sly’s character after he straight-up murders a (more or less) innocent man? PLUS: Larry the Cable joins the next Expendables line-up! Expend4bles stars Jason Statham, Curtis ’50 Cent’ Jackson, Megan Fox, Dolph Lundgren, Tony Jaa, Eko Uwais, Andy Garcia, Randy Couture, Jacob Scipio, Levy Tran, Lucy Newman-Williams, and Sylvester Stallone as Barney; directed by Scott Waugh. This episode is brought to you in part by MeUndies! This Valentine’s Day, give the gift that’ll always have them thinking of you and get 2

“Is [the ‘prayers up’ thing] still going on? Is he still charging people to pray?” - Steve On this week’s episode, we’re hitting the road with Mark Wahlberg and his fake family in the almost-Secret Movie™️, The Family Plan! How hilarious is it watching Mark get covered in that cherry slushy? Should this gamer kid be throwing up that hand signal? Is the matrimonial magic dead when your anniversary celebration is a rollercoaster ride? And why does this movie consider the city of Buffalo a great place to live, but only if you want to wake up, go to work, then die? PLUS: We give much well-deserved praise for the stunt teams that worked on this movie! The Family Plan stars Mark Wahlberg, Michelle Monaghan, Zoe Colletti, Van Crosby, Maggie Q, Felicia Pearson, Lateef Crowder, Saïd Taghmaoui, and Ciarán Hinds as McCaffrey; directed by Simon Cellan Jones. This week’s episode is brought to you in part by Factor. Head to FACTOR MEALS dot com slash whm50 and use code whm50 to get 50% off. That’s code whm50 at FACTOR

“Oppie New Year!” - The Gang On the first We ❤️ Movies episode of 2024, we’re chatting about a real-deal banger, and one-half of last year’s massively successful box office double bill, Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer! How fabulous is this cast? How funny is Oppie’s Batman moment? How wonderful is it to experience all these in-camera practical effects the masterful VFX team created? And couldn’t the U.S. Army have confiscated those—hey now! The rest of this episode requires a higher security clearance! To access the full ep on Oppie, along with countless hours of exclusive We Hate Movies Universe (WHMU) content you can't get anywhere else, including AD-FREE WHM at the $8 level and up, subscribe to our Patreon today!

“If I was Blipped and came back, I’d rather be dead at that point!” - Eric On this episode, we’re doing our best to make our way through what could possibly be the nadir of the MCU, Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania! How did they release this thing as-is with all the poorly rendered CGI? Did any of these actors actually want to be in this movie? Were they trying to wedge in a bad TV series with all these Quantum realm rebel characters? And who’s excited for all these Tiny Toon Avengers to get their own movie (probably)? PLUS: Eric gets Pet Sematary’d by The Blip! Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania stars Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Michael Douglas, Michelle Pfeiffer, Jonathan Majors, Kathryn Newton, Bill Murray, Katy O’Brian, William Jackson Harper, David Dastmalchian, and Corey Stoll as M.O.D.O.K. for some reason; directed by Peyton Reed. This episode is brought to you in part by Rocket Money!  Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney dot com s

“All the Nolans [movies] are present here; I’m surprised no one’s a fucking magician!” - Steve On our first episode of the year, the four of us bend our understanding of reality to chat about a real massive let down, Robert Rodriguez’s Hypnotic! What in the world were they thinking with all these garbage twists? How much exposition can you expect one Dunkin’ Donuts-loving man to drop in a single movie? Does The X-Files’ Chris Carter have a case here? And is the public currently with Ben or did he lose everybody again? PLUS: Alex Jones is being railroaded by Hypnotics!   Hypnotic stars Ben Affleck, William Fichtner, Alice Braga, JD Pardo, Dayo Okeniyi, Jackie Earle Haley, Sandy Avila, and Jeff Fahey as Carl Everett; directed by Robert Rodriguez.  Today’s episode is brought to you in part by Microdose Gummies! Get 30% off your first order, plus free shipping today at Microdose.com, promo code WHM. It’s available nationwide. That’s Microdose.com, promo code WHM, for 30% off and free shipping. Microdose.com,

“What I don’t understand, is how he does not have a guest room for people to come visit him!” - Chris on Santa’s lackluster accommodations On our final episode of 2023, we’re racing toward New Year’s to get away from the exhausting, Ghost of Christmas Movies Past that is, Fred Claus! Why did they have Rachel Weisz’s character be a traffic cop? Is Vince’s character seriously trying to open a brand-new OTB in 2007? How did we let a fun Giamatti Santa performance get lost in this dreck? And how unsettling did these elf special effects need to be, my god?! PLUS: How many times does this movie rip off Elf? Try to keep track!  Fred Claus stars Vince Vaughn, Elizabeth Banks, John Michael Higgins, Miranda Richardson, Rachel Weisz, Kathy Bates, Trevor Peacock, Ludacris, Jeremy Swift, Kevin Spacey, and Paul Giamatti as Nick ‘Santa’ Claus; directed by David Dobkin. Want more WHM? Join our Patreon fam today and instantly unlock hours and hours of exclusive bonus content, including Ad-Free WHM Prime at the $8 level an

“He’s such an idiot for running right into this fucking turbine…” - Eric on Alan Rickman’s character’s adultery On this week’s episode, our mission to bring Holiday Cheer to you and yours is almost completely derailed with a jumbo-sized discussion on the bloated, miserable, obnoxious holiday fave, Love Actually! When is the feature-length Andrew Lincoln stalker film hitting Shudder? Why couldn’t someone tell Richard Curtis to pick less than 8 storylines for one film? Why couldn’t Laura Linney’s character get a happy ending? And how is that little kid getting away with all of this airport shenanigans so soon after 9/11? PLUS: Elton John writes some sausage roll-related Christmas parodies to try and win the Christmas Number Ones contest!  Love Actually stars Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson, Hugh Grant, Martine McCutcheon, Liam Neeson, Laura Linney, Rodrigo Santoro, Gregor Fisher, Colin Firth, Kris Marshall, Heike Makatsch, Martin Freeman, Joanna Page, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Andrew Lincoln, Keira Knightley, and Bill

“All this, over the treatment of a magic cookie-eater!” - Chris on Santa Claus-related outrage  On this week’s holly-jolly horror-tinged episode, we’re chatting about the totally kick-ass Christmas slasher, Silent Night Deadly Night! Why couldn’t they have bothered to actually name the psychiatric institute in this movie? Were there zero dollars set aside for background extras? How despicable is this Mother Superior? And major LOL to that priest assassination at the end. PLUS: Remember to NEVER stop for a Santa Claus or a Dracula on the side of the road! Silent Night Deadly Night stars Robert Brian Wilson, Lilyan Chauvin, Britt Leach, Toni Nero, Leo Geter, Randy Stumpf, Will Hare, Tara Buckman, Geoff Hansen, and Linnea Quigley as Denise; directed by Charles E. Sellier Jr.  Today’s episode is brought to you in part by Seed! Listen to your gut with Seed’s DS-01® Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/WHM and use code 25WHM to get 25% off your first month! Want more WHM? Join our Patreon fam today and instantly un

On this week's show, the guys are chatting about the new monster smash, Godzilla Minus One; the new Alexander Payne/Paul Giamatti jam, The Holdovers; John Woo's (just okay) Hollywood return with Silent Night; a couple of disastrous Netflix Christmas movies including the abhorrent Best. Christmas. Ever!; the in-depth Star Wars Holiday Special documentary, A Disturbance in the Force; and more! DON’T MISS  OUT! Get tickets for the WHM Holiday Extravaganza where we’re talking The Santa Clause TOMORROW NIGHT!! 12/7 at White Eagle Hall in Jersey City! Want more WHM? Join our Patreon fam today and instantly unlock hours and hours of exclusive bonus content, including Ad-Free WHM Prime at the $8 level and up! Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new Polish Decoy, ‘Jack Kirby’, and Forrest the Universal Soldier designs!  

“Like most motion pictures, this needed way more Reginald VelJohnson” - Andrew On this week’s episode, we’re chatting about the high body count/low IQ, Christmas-set sequel, Die Hard 2! Why couldn’t they have developed a script where now-LAPD detective John McClane has some adventure on the streets of Los Angeles instead of a boring D.C. airport? How amazingly scuzzy and inept is Dennis Franz’s Carmine Lorenzo? Did they really need to go the sequelitis route of just repeating famous beats from the first film? And has there been a better villain introduction than William Sadler’s totally nude Colonel Stuart? PLUS: Dennis Franz storms out of a screening of the film Her! Die Hard 2 stars Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero, John Amos, Reginald VelJohnson, William Atherton, Art Evans, Fred Thompson, Tom Bower, Sheila McCarthy, and Dennis Franz as Carmine Lorenzo; directed by Renny Harlin. Snag your tickets and don’t miss us THIS THURSDAY, December 7th, at White Eagle Hall in Jersey City,

On the November 2023 edition of WHM Mail Bag, the guys are reading some outrageous letters from listeners about things like Crispin Glover freaking out before a film screening, one eager fan of The Hunger Games that absolutely destroyed a movie theater bathroom (and himself in the process), a US naval officer who got mixed up on his way to the toilet during basic training, and one person looking to get justice for Jake Lloyd and his performance in Episode I!  DON’T MISS  OUT! Get tickets for the WHM Holiday Extravaganza that's happening THIS THURSDAY, December 7th, where we’re talking The Santa Clause at White Eagle Hall in Jersey City, New Jersey! Want more WHM? Join our Patreon fam today and instantly unlock hours and hours of exclusive bonus content, including Ad-Free WHM Prime at the $8 level and up! If you want your wild stories read on the air, or have a burning question for the gang, write into the mail bag: weallhatemovies@gmail.com!

“Just imagine like, to distract someone, you send a police car careening through your own house!” - Eric On this month’s patrons-only W❤️M we’re talking about one of the all-time greats, the Christmas action comedy, Lethal Weapon! Has there been a movie duo with faster chemistry than Riggs and Murtaugh? Why are we giving Rodge a birthday—FREEZE! This is just a li'l taste of this wild episode! To access the full thing, subscribe to our Patreon today! Instantly unlock this Lethal Weapon episode, along with countless hours of exclusive bonus content—including AD-FREE We Hate Movies starting at the $8 level and up!

On the triumphant return of OSL after a two-week break, we're reviewing all kinds of movies including Royal (or Rotten?) Rid's Napoleon, Phil Traill’s Good Burger 2, and Eli Roth's Thanksgiving. We're also going over the holiday weekend box office, and even a couple truly rancid Secret Movies™️ that star the likes of Uma Thurman, Samuel L. Jackson and Morgan Freeman! Hachi machi! DON’T MISS  OUT! Get tickets for the WHM Holiday Extravaganza where we’re talking The Santa Clause on 12/7 at White Eagle Hall in Jersey City! Want more WHM? Join our Patreon fam today and instantly unlock hours and hours of exclusive bonus content, including Ad-Free WHM Prime at the $8 level and up! Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new Polish Decoy, ‘Jack Kirby’, and Forrest the Universal Soldier designs!  

“If ever you needed a showcase for the brilliance of Michael Keaton, you just need to show various clips of this performance” - Andrew  On this week’s episode, We ❤️ Movies month wraps up with a convo about one of our absolute faves, Beetlejuice! How incredible is Michael Keaton in this movie? How cool is all the stop motion weirdness? Is this Tim Burton’s best film? And how unsettling is it to see Alec Baldwin play a nice, gentle nerd? PLUS: Turns out Otho was put out of the paranormal business by the Ghostbusters!  Beetlejuice stars Michael Keaton, Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis, Catherine O’Hara, Jeffrey Jones, Winona Ryder, Sylvia Sidney, Robert Goulet, Dick Cavett, Susan Kellerman, Adelle Lutz, and the late, great Glenn Shadix as Otho; directed by Tim Burton. DON’T MISS  OUT! Get tickets for the WHM Holiday Extravaganza where we’re talking The Santa Clause on 12/7 at White Eagle Hall in Jersey City! Want more WHM? Join our Patreon fam today and instantly unlock hours and hours of exclusive bonus content,

“He looks like a 1980’s standup comedian!” - Andrew on Deckard’s clothing On this week’s episode, W❤️M month takes us to 2019 Los Angeles to chat about Royal Rid’s magnificent science fiction classic, Blade Runner! How stunning is the confidence of this film? Was Rutger Hauer ever better in a role? Is there a weirder coat in cinema than the one James Hong sports in this? How creepy are William Sanderson’s eerie toy “friends”? Who would’t want to administer the Voight-Kampff Test on someone? And should George Lucas take a look at this Final Cut to see how you can actually make a decent “special edition” of your movie? PLUS: M. Emmet Walsh’s character Bryant turns out to be a porno parody enthusiast!   Blade Runner stars Harrison Ford, Rutger Hauer, Sean Young, Edward James Olmos, M. Emmet Walsh, Daryl Hannah, William Sanderson, Joe Turkel, Joanna Cassidy, James Hong, and Brion James as Leon; directed by Ridley Scott. Be sure to get tickets for the WHM Holiday Extravaganza where we’re talking The Santa Clau

“I, in my home, right now, have a bat from the movie Batman Begins” - Steve On this week’s episode, W❤️M month continues as we chat about Chris Nolan’s fabulous comic book adaptation, Batman Begins! Has there been a softer Little Boy Bruce Wayne in cinema? Why couldn’t they have put a little more spirit gum on Liam Neeson’s goatee at the beginning? How fantastic is Cillian Murphy in this and shouldn’t Scarecrow have been a larger character? Does anyone have proof that Pennyworth was a real show and not just a tax shelter? And why can’t more studios look to these Nolan films to reassure themselves that it’s… okay to recast an actor? Hmm? PLUS: Batman blows his fortune on movie merch! Batman Begins stars Christian Bale, Cillian Murphy, Gary Oldman, Katie Holmes, Liam Neeson, Tom Wilkinson, Ken Watanabe, Rutger Hauer, Linus Roache, Mark Boone Junior, Morgan Freeman, Richard Brake, and Sir Michael Caine as Alfred Pennyworth; directed by Christopher Nolan. Be sure to get tickets for the WHM Holiday Extravaganz

On this week's show, the guys are talking about Mike Flanagan's The Fall of the House of Usher and Sofia Coppola's Priscilla, reacting to the trailers for Marvel's Echo and 20th Century Studios' Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes & more! 

“This is one of those movies I wish I could’ve seen opening night in 1960” - Eric On this week’s episode, We ❤️ Movies Month kicks off with a total banger as the guys discuss the prequel to Psycho II, Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho! How great is this Bernard Herrmann score? Is Marion eating a cheese and mayonnaise sandwich? Would the film have been as good if Norman was cast more book-accurate (middle-aged drunk)? And would Hitch have enjoyed modern fast food like the baconator? PLUS: Norman Bates tangles with the Skeleton League and their new ally, Swamp Thing! Psycho stars Anthony Perkins, Janet Leigh, Vera Miles, John Gavin, John McIntire, Simon Oakland, Frank Albertson, Patricia Hitchcock, Vaughn Taylor, Lurene Tuttle, John Anderson, Mort Mills, and Martin Balsam as Det. Milton Arbogast; directed by Alfred Hitchcock. Today’s episode is sponsored by Factor. Head to FACTOR MEALS dot com slash whm50 and use code whm50 to get 50% off. That’s code whm50 at FACTOR MEALS dot com slash whm50 to get 50% off! Be su

On this month’s patrons-only We Hate Movies episode, the guys are chatting about the total misfire of a YA adaptation, The Hunger Games! Couldn’t they have tossed in just a little more violence? Why are we doing faux-doc shaky cam? Couldn’t we have some continuity with this—HEY NOW! This episode is for subscribers only! To access the full show, along with hours upon hours of exclusive WHM content you can't get anywhere else, head over to our Patreon and subscribe today. Starting at just $2 a month, with AD-FREE WHM at the $8 level and up, you can't beat it!

On this week's On-Screen Live, the guys are going over the weekend box office, chatting about Marty's new film, Killers of the Flower Moon, as well as the not-so-great PG-13 Five Nights at Freddy's, recommending some Halloween horror viewing, and chatting with author Brian Abrams about his rad, new book, "You Talkin' to Me?: The Definitive Guide to Iconic Movie Quotes" which you can (and should!) buy here: https://bit.ly/3FCceZN. Don't miss your chance to catch the replay of our digital live show on Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (including the bonus After Party Q&A), it's available now through Thursday, November 2nd! This is of course the audio-only edition of On-Screen Live, if you want the full experience, check out the show on our YouTube channel. Watch live Mondays at 12pm/et or catch the replay whenever. While you're there, be sure to like this episode and subscribe to the channel! Set up notifications so you don't miss a moment of new content from us! Want more WHM? Join our Patreon fam toda