Sex With Emily

What do you need to get in the mood for sex? Have a lively conversation? Be touched in a suggestive way? Put on something sexy…or, have your partner get dressed up for you? Today’s episode is all about arousal styles, and today, I’ll be looking at five. The science of sexual arousal is ever-evolving, but on this show I’m looking at some of the most common ways people get turned on (through conversation, visuals, touch, play or physical adventure), helping you ID what your style is, and what behaviors you can do in the moment to get it going. Kind of like love languages, but for sex. I’m also talking about the difference between arousal and desire, and, taking your questions! How to have sex when you’re stressed, anti-depressants numbing out your vulva, and if it’s OK to be more excited for masturbation than partnered sex.  Show Notes: There Are 5 Arousal Styles. Which One Are You? Sex Up Your Love Language Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex w/ Ian Kerner  The Yes No Maybe List You’re Kinkier Than Yo

It’s one of the most common questions I get: how do I initiate sex the right way? Listen: there’s no one “right” way to initiate sex. But I’ll be honest, it might take a little warm up period to get everyone ready and on the same page. That’s because sex is just as much a head game as a body one, so in this episode, we’re helping you calm your nerves before initiation, recover from failed initiations, and walk into each sexual encounter with more confidence. At the end of the day, we all crave intimacy, and we all want to please our partners – and by the end of this episode, I think you’ll feel much more clear on how to arouse your partner.    Show Notes: 6 Ways to Upgrade Your 69 She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What does it mean exactly, when someone says they’re a voyeur? A sub? A cuckhold or an exhibitionist? It’s part 2 of our “You’re Kinkier Than You Think” series…and folks, we are getting a kinky education.  On today’s episode, I’m walking you through your sexual fantasies to see where you land on the kink spectrum. I’m talking submission and domination, exhibitionism and voyeurism, even a little humiliation, if that’s your preferred kink flavor. But because kink is play, I’m also giving you some specific ideas for how to explore these fantasies IRL – and, bonus, I’m taking all of your kinky questions.  Show Notes: Ask Emily: Kink and BDSM Ideas 6 Kink Styles (& How to Explore Them)  You’re Kinkier Than You Think, Part 1 Coming Together w/ Celeste & Danielle Emily’s Shop Page  How to Dom with Your Text Messages  Kink & Casual Sex Justin Lehmiller The Communication Guide  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What would the world be like if we didn’t have shame about sex? Can you imagine how different your life would be, if you were told that sexual pleasure was healthy? If you were given the memo early on that masturbation was legit self-care, and that sex itself was joyful and good for you, rather than a one-way ticket to STI’s and unwanted pregnancy?   Today’s best-of show is all about being the change we want to see in the world: becoming people who are conversant and comfortable discussing sex, because this is how we evolve people. Plus, I take your calls! Why using toys during sex is the literal best, what the hell a “lube shooter” is, and how to lovingly - persuasively - ask your partner for more oral.  Show Notes: 6 Hottest Masturbation Moves Relax, It’s Just Anal w/ Dr. Hernando Chaves  Seducing The Booty w/ Alicia Sinclair Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you hear the words “BDSM” and “kink,” what comes to mind? Leather? Whips? The truth is, all of us are a little kinky – you may just not have realized it yet. That’s why today’s episode is part 1 of a two-part BDSM and kink education series, where I help demystify this world and give you fun, safe options for exploring. Dungeons optional.  First, we’re defining our terms and getting a grasp on kink and BDSM – including, what the hell “BDSM” actually means. Next, we’re taking a look at core desires to help you identify yours, and talking about the psychology of power and play. Finally, I’m giving you some entry-level ways to bring kink to the bedroom, whether you’re coupled or single…and, answering all of your kinky questions.  Show Notes: 6 Kink Styles (& How to Explore Them) Ask Emily: Kink and BDSM Ideas Coming Together w/ Celeste and Danielle The Yes No Maybe List  5 Easy Steps to Start Exploring The Communication Guide  Kink & Casual w/ Justin Lehmiller 5 BDSM Games to Spice Up Your Sex Life T

Whether it’s erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation or a slight penis curve, it’s common to have penis questions – especially when they’re affecting your sex life. But where do you go for answers? You come right here, to this informative convo between me and urologist Dr. Edward Karpman, as well as Jeff Abraham of Promescent.    On this best-of show, we’re talking to you all about penis shockwave therapy, what to do when you can get erect (but aren’t climaxing), what to do when you take ED meds (but aren’t getting hard), and much more. Plus, I take your intimacy questions! How to get out of your head during sex, how to reduce anxiety in the run-up to intercourse, and how to effectively work with your penis as you get older.    Show Notes: Missionary Sex Position - New and Improved For more Dr. Karpman: Website | Instagram For more information about Promescent: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’re a parent or caregiver, should you talk to your child about masturbation? Yes. You absolutely should, even if it’s awkward, even if your own parents didn’t talk about it with you. (And let’s be real: they probably didn’t.) But I get it – finding the words can be hard, especially for such a touchy subject. That’s why today’s episode is devoted entirely to giving you tools, scripts and resources to help you. First, I give you the big why: Why should you talk to your children, and teens specifically, about masturbation? I’ll give you several science-backed reasons why it’s wise to do so. Next, we’ll do some masturbation myth-busting, to help alleviate any concerns, on their part or yours, that it’s harmful or unhealthy. Great news: it’s not! And finally, I’ll walk you through how to have this conversation, with specific verbiage you can use to help put yourself and your child at ease. Don’t worry caregivers: I got you, and in this episode I’ll also answer your questions about teens and sex. Should you t

On any given day, how do you talk about sex? Do you bone? Screw? Make love? According to my guest Amanda Montell, author of Wordslut, Cultish, and host of the podcast “Sounds Like a Cult,” the words we use to discuss sex reveals our attitudes about sex as a whole – even shaping the way we show up in the bedroom.    In this fascinating best of episode, Amanda and I talk about sex slang and body part euphemisms, like the fact that we frequently cute-ify female genitals to make them less threatening. But before you go, “oh this is thinky academic stuff,” know this: practically-speaking, your sex life WILL improve as your communication improves. Listen in, as Amanda and I play with language to get the sex we want.  For More Amanda Montell: Wordslut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language Sounds Like a Cult Podcast | Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism Website | Instagram | Twitter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How exactly does masturbation help a sexual partnership? Let me count the ways… It’s Part 2 of our Masturbation Pro Tips series, and in today’s episode, we’re talking solo sex in the context of a relationship. I’m addressing some of the most common questions I get on the subject, such as: “if I already have a partner, why masturbate?” and: “if I masturbate in private, is it cheating?” We also discuss whether or not you should tell your partner if you masturbate, and touch briefly on porn addiction: starting with, is it real? Plus, I take your questions! How to set up your own “masturbation zone” when you live with a partner, whether it’s possible to have fantasy-free masturbation sessions, what to do if you can orgasm on your own but not with a partner, and much more.  Show Notes: How to Find the Best Lube for You Masturbation Pro Tips (Part 1) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Missionary gets a bad rap. I’ve seen it called the “comfy sweater” of sex – and can we talk about the name? Not sexy. Almost…anti-sexy. But despite its label, I don’t think that’s why missionary is considered vanilla or boring. It’s simply the default position, the one a lot of us fall into automatically – making it easier for us to tune out, phone it in, and miss out on any potential eroticism.  So on today’s episode, we’re going to make missionary more exploratory, as I address some of your common complaints. Such as: how do we make it more exciting? I’ll tell you all the reasons I love missionary, and give you technique tips to make it more surprising and fun. Next, vulva owners: are you having a hard time reaching orgasm in missionary? Of course you are: it’s not the prime position for clitoral stimulation, so I’ll offer position hacks that make it more pleasurable. Finally, is it possible to be kinky during missionary? Oh yeah: from bondage to dirty talk, we can leverage all that eye contact to turn it i

Housewife turned billion-dollar co-founder Lisa Bilyeu is the picture of confidence: she’s got a thriving business, a partner she adores, and basically, is a literal boss. But she also overcame illness, insecurity, and massive relationship challenges to get where she is today. In her new book Radical Confidence, Lisa shares the lessons that changed her life, and helped her become the hero of her own story. On today’s show, I ask her about keeping the sexual spark alive in a longterm relationship, the “purgatory of the mundane,” and how to have a growth mindset with your partner. Show Notes: More: Radical Confidence More Lisa: Instagram  How to Find The Best Lube for You Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So listen: is sex addiction real? We’ve all heard stories of infidelity followed by explanations of sex addiction as the reason for the behavior. But the truth is, just because someone cheats doesn’t mean they’re a sex addict.  According to therapist Marnie Breecker from the Center for Relational Healing, sex addiction is indeed real: it’s an intimacy disorder with both emotional and physiological symptoms. On this best of show, Marnie and I talk about the common and compulsive behaviors of sex addiction, the deep human need for love and connection, affordable treatment options, love addiction, a how-to on IMAGO therapy (a great tool for communication) and healing steps for couples.  Show Notes: More Marnie: Website | Instagram  Sex Addicts Anonymous Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did you know that masturbation helps you sleep better? Tones your pelvic floor? And – surprise – boosts your immunity? But let’s be honest: these aren’t exactly the main reasons people masturbate. You masturbate because it’s pleasurable, but as the OG form of self-care, masturbation delivers all kinds of benefits, physically and psychologically.  That’s why today’s show kicks off a two-part masturbation series, and later in the month, we’ll look at how masturbation benefits a partnership. On today’s episode however, it’s all about YOU: common masturbation fantasies, how to mix up a stale masturbation routine, how to make your solo sex more erotic, and how to practice mindful masturbation. Plus, I take your questions! Can a vibrator desensitize your clitoris? All this and more on Part 1 of our Masturbation Pro Tips Series.  Show Notes: Squirting Secrets w/ Deborah Sundhal The Sex with Emily Shop page  Our Edging Guide  Our Yes No Maybe List  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There’s a misconception out there, that once women become moms, their sexiest years are OVER. But as my guest Dana Myers explains, that’s nonsense – and as a mom, she can prove it. Dana is the founder of sex and beauty brand Booty Parlor, but she’s also a wife and mother to two children. On today’s throwback show, she shares secrets from her book “The Mommy Mojo Makeover” to help women rediscover their sensual self-confidence, fall back in love with their bodies, and masturbate for self-care. We also talk about resentment in a relationship (and how to fix it), and why mothers deserve a sense of sexual entitlement. Yes moms: you deserve sexual pleasure! If you want more of it – or know a mom who might – this is a can’t miss conversation.  For More Dana B Myers: Booty Parlor | Website | Instagram | Twitter | Youtube | Facebook Try Dana’s pheromone fragrance & use code DANA15 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: communication is a lubrication. But today I’ve got the receipts: previous callers who took my communication advice called back, to give us a status report! On today’s best of show, I’m letting you listen in on my callers’ sex lives after they took the brave but vulnerable step of talking to their partners. We’ve got a longtime married couple, with a husband who wants more kink in bed; a success story of treating vaginal pain; a newlywed who brought BACK the spark with his man after incorporating role play, and a mom who never had any sex guidance growing up…and is now doing things radically different with her teen daughter. All of them are living proof that better sex starts with communication, so listen now, get inspired, and let their sex-cess motivate you to have a sex talk of your own. Show Notes: Emily’s Shop Page The Yes No Maybe List Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Audio porn is one of the most brilliant sex tech innovations of the past few years. It’s immersive, discreet, and super intimate – you literally feel like you’re in the room with people who are having sex. Plus…it’s a great way to ratchet up your own dirty talk or your masturbation routine.  So on today’s best of episode, I’m sharing my conversation with Caroline Spiegel, creator of Quinn: an audio erotica app that was one of the first to market. We talk about audio porn and solo sex, how to use audio erotica with a partner, and a special bonus! Caroline and I listen to some audio erotica together, including a guided masturbation clip. Plus, we take your questions like, enjoying porn as a blind individual, how to embrace a naturally sexy voice, and – wild card – can you really be allergic to semen? Find out on today’s show. More Try Quinn: Website | Apple App Store | Android App Store | Instagram | Twitter Show Notes: How Do I Explore Bisexuality While In a Relationship? The Yes No Maybe List  Hosted on

Just like going to the gym improves your body, going to therapy improves your mind. And bonus: couple’s counseling can radically improve your relationship and your sex life. So why do some people absolutely refuse to go? On today’s show, I’m giving you the therapy low-down, so you can decide whether you should try it – or, if it’s the right call for you and your partner. I’m talking: signs it’s time to look for a therapist, pros and cons of solo therapy vs. couple’s counseling, whether sex therapy is right for you, what to expect from a typical therapy session, and how to find therapy that works for you – including budget-friendly options. Plus, I take your therapy-related questions on porn addiction, sexual trauma and what to do if you tried to improve your sex life with your partner…but they cheated anyway.  Show Notes: Ask Emily: My Wife Cheated American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists Book: The Body Keeps The Score  Book: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone  Maximize Your O

When you’re desperate to fix your sex life with your partner, what do you do? (You call me, of course.) Maybe the sex started hot, but got real boring. Or maybe you and your crush are finally hooking up…but the sex is meh, and it’s a huge letdown. What now? On today’s Best Of hotline show, I’m sharing some of my favorite listener questions and letting you listen in as we talk through solutions. We’ve got sex-stonewalling partners. Compersion vs. cuckholding. A self-described “lazy lover.” Bisexuality, plus a squirting tutorial. Trust me, if you’ve got the right communication skills, you can talk through anything: and on this episode, I help you make those sex talks way less gnarly.  Show Notes: Our Yes No Maybe List  Emily’s Shop Page  The Magic Wand The Womanizer  Boston Scientific  New Low T Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When it comes to sex, a lot of us have a movie in our head about the way it “should” go down. I should look a certain way. They should kiss me a certain way. We should have epic orgasms. In other words, picture perfect... But here’s the real real: you’re going to orgasm way easier – and more intensely – if you can get out of your head, and into your body. So on today’s show, I’m helping you have fully embodied sex using your five senses. Together we can remove the mental blocks from orgasm. If you're not turned on or inspired to have sex, these are sensory tools you can use to seduce yourself or your partner…and feel all the electric sensations leading up to the big O. Plus, I take your questions: how to talk dirty without swearing, how to bring back an MIA orgasm, how to stop disassociating during sex and much more. Show Notes: Ask Emily: How Do I Partner I’ve Been Faking Orgasms The Fin by Dame Podcast: Where Did My Orgasm Go? Our Communication Guide  Talk Dirty to Me w/ Joanna Angel Hosted on Aca

To create our hottest, most fulfilling sex life, there’s one critical thing we need – and no, it’s not flavored lube. We need boundaries, and the ability to express them to others. But what is a “boundary,” exactly? As a buzzword and an emerging concept, boundaries can improve every relationship, sexual or otherwise. So on today’s best-of show, sex therapist, author and my dear friend Dr. Jennifer Freed and I help you figure out what your boundaries are, how to set them with others (and follow through), and how to NOT let people steamroll over your values…especially when you’re a people pleaser.   For more Dr Jennifer Freed: Website | Instagram | Twitter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.