Taking Control: The Adhd Podcast

We're eager to please, but at what cost? For people with ADHD, saying yes to requests from others often means sabotaging our own priorities. Urgency provides a dopamine hit; the instructions are clear. Best of all, we aren't fully responsible for the outcome. But every time we dodge our obligations to take on extra, we chip away at our future. Before automatically agreeing to favors, pause and examine your motives. Are you truly available or just procrastinating? Will you have to sacrifice critical deadlines to accommodate? Respect your time. Invest in your goals, not just other's. Your needs matter too. Stop self-sabotage disguised as service. Prioritize a future fueled by purpose, not avoidance.We talk about some key principles this week including time shielding for protecting our time from distraction, the values calendar to help align time to our values, and margin for interruption in our schedules. Links & NotesShawn Blanc writing about MarginDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome

When everything is on fire, how do you escape the flames? For people with ADHD, overwhelm can consume our days in a blazing mess of forgotten tasks, ignored priorities, and competing demands. Like a wildfire swallowing the horizon, the urgent eclipses the important until catastrophe looms. Fortunately, firefighters don't panic in the face of infernos. They methodically suppress the flames by targeting fuels one at a time. We can borrow their approach. Tackle the smallest task first for a quick win. Preserve your critical relationships, health, and finances. Let go of time-wasters that won't devastate. Once the blaze subsides, sift through the ashes and rebuild. Learn from the near-disaster to prepare for the next. With level-headed focus, even the most raging overwhelm can be contained. Don't let the flames consume you. Become the firefighter, armed and ready.It’s possible we’re overdoing the fire metaphor. But that’s what we do on the ADHD podcast... we lean in, even when it’s too hot to handle. Links &

The ADHD Tax is real—and it's costly. A recent poll found over half of people with ADHD lose over $1000 a year to fees, fines, and forgetfulness. We call them ADHD Taxes: late bill payments, expired food, unpaid subscriptions. Benjamin Franklin said nothing is certain except death and taxes, but ADHD Taxes are optional. With planning and habits, we can eliminate these penalties that drain our time, money, and self-esteem. ADHD may be lifelong, but the taxes don't have to be. Learn to stop the cycle and keep that currency—money and time—in your pocket. The cost of a ADHD Tax? Your peace of mind. The gain from ending it? Priceless!Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:53) - Become a Patron! Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (02:49) - The ADHD Tax ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This week on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Pete and Nikki explore what it means to be uncomfortable and why that's not always a bad thing. The inspiration for this topic came from Melissa reflecting on a step in the GPS process where members review past experiences with strategies and tools from the previous week. She wondered whether it was the tool/strategy that wasn't working or if it just felt uncomfortable because it was new. Melissa asked if we're giving up too quickly on new things by saying they don't work for us when maybe we haven't given them enough time.So, what does it mean to be uncomfortable or outside your comfort zone? Dictionary definitions describe it as feeling unease, awkwardness, distress or lack of confidence. Many ADHDers regularly feel this way, and these are feelings we try to eliminate with new strategies. So why stick with a new system if it brings up the same negative emotions? There’s a bit of a sidetrack around systems with acronyms that can distract from the real effort, al

In "The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking," you're introduced to the unconventional notion that the pursuit of happiness might actually lie down a 'negative path.' Oliver Burkeman invites you to consider embracing life's uncertainties and insecurities, challenging the prevalent culture of positive thinking. Overly optimistic mindsets, he argues, can lead to a denial of reality and set you up for greater disappointment. The book delves into the idea of "negative capability," encouraging you to become comfortable with ambiguity and resist the urge to hastily resolve doubt.Burkeman guides you through the Stoic philosophy, which emphasizes controlling what you can and accepting what you cannot. He introduces you to the concept of negative visualization, a Stoic practice of contemplating the worst to temper anxiety and build resilience. This conversation also takes you through the paradox of control. Burkeman illustrates how accepting failure can be a conduit to success. He challenge

In his provocative book Four Thousand Weeks, author Oliver Burkeman confronts our culture's obsession with productivity and efficiency. He makes the case that with a limited lifespan of around 4,000 weeks, our pursuit of packed schedules and perfect work-life balance is ultimately futile.Burkeman urges us to embrace the unchangeable reality that our time is finite. Only by accepting our human limitations, he argues, can we focus on what matters most and live with intention. Rather than desperately trying to find more time, we should recognize that time management is impossible. Every moment we gain elsewhere means a sacrifice of something else.Confronting the brevity of life is daunting but also liberating. It allows us to pare down our priorities, say no to less meaningful activities, and zero in on how we truly want to spend the days we have. Presence becomes more important than productivity. With mortality as a guidepost, we can live each moment more purposefully.The book is an enlightening take on time, w

It's season 28 and we're kicking it off with a look at how we make decisions. See, we all have models through which we see the choices before us. We decided to start this series with a look at some of the acknowledged mental models around decision-making to help us create a vernacular we can use to discuss how our brains are impacted by choices in our lives and our ADHD.Mental models are bite-sized, condensed views that help us understand ourselves and the world around us. We explore various mental models that can both aid and hinder our decision-making, such as the tendency to want to do something, confirmation bias, hindsight bias, overgeneralizing from small samples, social proof, and opportunity costs. We discuss the importance of using these models with caution and not relying on them entirely for decision-making. Join us as we explore these fascinating concepts and gain insights into how our biases and tendencies can influence our choices.Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00)

We’re having so much fun talking about planning that we’re sticking with it another week! And this time, it’s all about what happens when we fall off the wagon. How do you stand up with courage and strength and admit you’ve strayed from your system? How do you face the flood of email when you get back from a well-earned vacation? We’re digging into the tools and practices that will help you get back in the saddle and shake the shame of the struggle along the way!Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (00:19) - The ADHD Conference Report! (06:42) - Sponsor: TextExpander (09:36) - Coming Back to Planning Systems ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We're talking about planning again and we're taking on your questions! Getting started, long-term planning, making transitions, and even AI tools are on deck for this week's show. The big topics:How do you get started planning when you haven't done it?How do you plan to plan?Struggling with personal deadlines?What if you’re struggling to make plans more than a few weeks ahead of time?How do you plan for things that don't have concrete goals?What do I do during transition time?AI and how do I use it?So... why TickTick?Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:58) - Support the show: Become a Patron at Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (04:59) - How do you get started planning when you haven't done it? (09:20) - How do you plan to plan? (13:58) - Struggling with personal deadlines (21:10) - Struggling to make plans more than a few weeks ahead of time (27:12) - How do you plan for things that don't have concrete goals? (31:54) - What do I do durin

Pete’s in the hot seat this week as Nikki walks through a listener question of the motivational variety. For reference, here it is: “When we have a plan of quadrant two tasks, important but not urgent, it is impossible to focus on those at all if there are ANY quadrant one tasks... urgent and important... unresolved. What’s interesting is that you might think, sure ... do those. They’re urgent and important. But the problem is that maybe you’ve done your part on them. You’re waiting for an email response... you are time-blocked from doing anything about it because a store isn’t open... something like that. It’s unresolved, AND you can’t do anything about it, AND you can’t focus on anything else that is on your list that would move other projects forward as a result.”There’s an emotional yo-yo at work here, and you can bet there is a healthy dose of limiting beliefs. But there is also a very real connection between this attachment and the ADHD brain. Nikki walks Pete through an exercise that aims to make this

On this week’s show, Pete and Nikki break down how to create and implement planning systems that work with the ADHD brain.“There is not a perfect calendar, planner or task manager for ADHD,” notes Nikki. “What matters is that you build trust and consistency with your chosen tools.” They start by addressing common misconceptions about finding the “right” organizational system. As Nikki explains, no one tool determines success - only your willingness to use it consistently builds planning skills. She cautions against getting distracted searching for a flawless system. What matters is finding tools that fit your workflow and building habits around using them daily.What causes so many to abandon their carefully chosen systems? They share the psychological traps that sabotage trust in planning tools, from perfectionism to learned helplessness. They discuss how forgetting to use the system consistently or failing to personalize it to your needs also hinders success. Tune in to gain insight into why your tools may b

In this week's episode of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, hosts Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright interview Dr. Tamara Rosier about motivation and ADHD. Dr. Rosier, author of "Your Brain's Not Broken," shares insights from her experiences as an ADHD coach and professor to uncover motivation strategies for those with ADHD.As Dr. Rosier explains of those living with ADHD, "There is really no research explaining our success in the modern world." Her book aims to send a "love letter" to those struggling, affirming that "You're okay. And I know it feels hard for you, but you're still okay."The hosts dive into the complicated relationship between ADHD and motivation. Dr. Rosier notes that while ADHD can make people appear self-centered as they struggle to survive, most "are incredibly sensitive" and "heart forward." Pete adds that ADHD allows people to "forget the important things"—like basic needs—while seeking self-actualization. Dr. Rosier agrees this makes success especially difficult, as "easy things are very dif

Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright aim to explore the meaning of joy, the differences between joy and happiness, and practical ways to cultivate more joy in daily life living with ADHD.This episode dives into the essence of joy, including surprise moments as well as practices that help align us to experience joy more frequently. Nikki shares insights from a recent retreat focused on sound, music, and vibrations for generating joy and harmony in life.Key points covered:Defining joy as moments of transcendent happiness sparked by surprise, versus the overall state of happiness. "Joy involves changes in visual perception. Colors seem brighter, motor behavior, physical movements feel freer and easier, smiling happens involuntarily."Happiness as a constant state, while joy represents fleeting peaks within the state of contentment. An analogy: "Happiness is a 100-story building and joy is the elevator that takes you to higher floors briefly."The importance of letting difficult emotions move through you rather than rumina

The world can be a tough place. We know that our ADHD doesn't make that any easier. But our health and well-being depend heavily on the worldview we cultivate in spite of our challenges. This week, we're talking about optimism, how we find it, and how we make it a practice in the face of struggle. We’ll talk about the things that get in the way of our efforts to feel optimistic like emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitivity, an impulsivity. The thing is, in the face of all those challenges, we’re already wired with our other tools to regain control. We’re generally OK with therapy and strengths-based approaches to wellbeing, for example. So let’s explore mental models that impact us. These include Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset, Cognitive-Behavioral models, and Martin Seligman’s Explanatory Style theory. That’s the one that has impacted Pete the most this month. For the sound of a mind being blown, listen in. This episode is brought to you by Stimara. Get your next favorite fidget and engage your brain wit

In this episode, we welcome James Ochoa, a counselor, coach, mentor, and intuitionist who has been helping adults with ADHD for over thirty years. James shares his insights on the importance of community in our ADHD journey and updates us on his upcoming book, "When the Shiny Wears Off: Navigating the Lifetime Storms of Adult ADHD."We discuss the value of being part of a community and what it means to belong to a group of people who understand what you experience every day. We also explore the benefits of joining a community, such as personal growth, a sense of belonging, new friendships, learning new things, and practicing interpersonal skills.James emphasizes the importance of recognizing that our motives for joining a new group or community are not always altruistic and that we only have so much extra time to share. Most importantly, he walks us through the power of developing your internal support group, using creative visualization to create your community in times of need.In conclusion, James reminds us

The esteemed Hall of Fame ADHD Podcast Guest and dear friend Dr. Sharon Saline graces the show once again! This week: why is it hard for ADHDers to be authentic joiners? Sharon offers her wisdom on the value of community in managing ADHD, addressing the fears and hesitations that can often prevent individuals from seeking out communal ties.One of the main topics we discuss is avoidance behaviors towards community engagement. There are myriad reasons why a person might be reluctant to participate in group settings, such as social anxiety, previous negative experiences, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), fear of the unknown, and confusion about how to navigate new situations. Dr. Saline emphasizes the potential impacts of such isolating behaviors on a person's physical, mental, and social well-being. She also highlights the importance of fostering relationships, regardless of their novelty, and addresses the common misconception that having a few friends who may not fully understand an individual's experience

We come to you with a pivot today and a follow-up discussion to last week's conversation on ADHD stigma. What is normal? Why is it such a charged word? And what can we do to reprogram the world around normal to represent any point on the vast neurodiversity spectrum? (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (04:20) - The ADHD Stigma ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Kody Lukens has been an entrepreneur since the age of 15, when he filed his first LLC. Now, he is the creator behind Stimagz - a successful magnetic fidget toy that was funded on Kickstarter. When Kody was first diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, he was frustrated by the lack of resources tailored for adults dealing with ADHD. He started searching online for recommendations and communities that could provide support but found very little that resonated with his needs and experience as an adult with ADHD. This inspired Kody to start creating his own ADHD-focused content on platforms like TikTok and Instagram. The response was overwhelmingly positive, indicating a real need for content created by and for adults with ADHD.  While creating content proved draining at times, Kody persevered because he knew first-hand how valuable resources and community can be for someone newly diagnosed with ADHD. He continues to fill his own need for community by engaging with the people who interact with his content. Through this

This week, we delve into the complex issue of emotional dysregulation, a common but often misunderstood symptom of ADHD. Emotional dysregulation refers to an impairment or inability to regulate feelings, which can lead to an overreaction to minor setbacks or challenges. This issue is deeply rooted in the science of emotion regulation.And it's central to the sabotage we use on ourselves when we use "I don't wanna" as a strategy for productivity.To better understand this, we reference an article from ADDitude magazine which discusses the role of the amygdala, a part of the brain responsible for emotional reaction and decision-making. Typically, a surge of emotion such as anger or worry triggers the amygdala to send a signal to the cerebral cortex, which can then restrain the emotional response, allowing for a moment of pause and assessment before action. However, in those with ADHD, this amygdala-cortex signaling is significantly weakened, often leading to impulsive reactions to strong emotions.We also discuss

We had something of a scheduling snafu this week and our guests didn’t show! Don’t worry, they’ll be back. Bun in the mean time, Nikki and Pete carried on an impromptu AMA-QA show with members in the live chat and we decided to share a piece of it with you. The question that sparks the answer is, “how do you help others with transitions when you suck at them yourself?” Great question, and that gets us talking all about Bandura’s thoughts on self-efficacy, how pride can help you learn hard things, and more! If you want to hear the whole conversation, head over to https://patreon.com/theadhdpodcast and sign up to get your very own member-edition podcast feed! Thanks everyone!Links & NotesArchive.org • Bandura’s Original PublicationDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★