Taking Control: The Adhd Podcast

We’re wrapping up ADHD awareness month with just one more message dedicated to everyone puzzling their way through a brand new diagnosis of ADHD. You know who you are. You now have words to describe what you’ve been living through all these years and you’re eagerly downloading every journal article and book about ADHD. You’re listening to podcasts just like ours and you’re drinking from the proverbial fire hose every chance you get. Here’s a secret: that actually gets tiring. It gets overwhelming, too. You might not think it right now, but at some point, you’re going to wear out, get distracted, and move on to something else. And the person that’s going to impact first is you. This week on the show, frequent guest James Ochoa is back with us to help us figure out how to build the team. Who do you need to look to for direct support and what do you need to beware of so that you don’t crash into intervention fatigue? James is author of Focused Forward: Navigating the Storms of Adult ADHD and knows a thing or two

Jude Parker Koski has dedicated his career to serving marginalized communities through work in the nonprofit sector since 1996. He has helped youth experiencing homelessness access education, advocated for LGBTQIA+ youth and families, worked to reform foster care policy, and helped preserve urban open space and community gardens. He’s also a transgender professional, and he joins us today to talk about his experience supporting his communities while living with ADHD.OK, this isn’t one of our shorter episodes. We get that. And it’s just fine if you want to skip around. But here’s why we thought it was important to have this conversation and share it in full: because Jude’s experience overcoming internal and external questions of gender identity sit right at the intersection of the same journey with his ADHD. What he has learned as he continues to live through both experiences can teach us quite a bit about our own journeys. We hope you find the same and perhaps learn a few new lessons about the fluidity of you

Like any good superhero, we all have our origin stories. Unlike those same superheroes, we sometimes struggle to save the day if we’re distracted by shiny door knobs. This week, we’re sharing the stories our listener’s submitted about their diagnoses. Where were you? How old where you? What do you remember about the time and how you were treated? Whether you were six years old and super confused, or 36 years old and … well… super confused, your story matters. And we think that these stories have something teach, too. Just hearing how others were first diagnosed offers each of us a chance to reflect on our own path. If nothing else, certainly, they’re a reminder that we are not alone. Stories of shiny door knobs this week on The ADHD Podcast. (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (05:27) - Help Grow the Show • Become a Patron! (07:41) - Where were you when... ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Why are some tasks harder than others? Is that task itself suddenly that much more challenging that everything else you're doing? Likely not. What's different? The way our brains are triggering as a result of it. This week on the show we're pulling apart the things that allow us to make some tasks a bigger deal than others. What is it that makes one task evolve into a monstrous clogging task while others breeze by? We pull apart "brain distortions" that impact our thinking and assess our executive functioning challenges that impact our time and process management. From there, it's all about attitude — can we really take a step back and approach tasks from the perspective of growth and accomplishment even as we're struggling to grow and accomplish it? We'll see this week! (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (01:27) - Support the Show! Join on Patreon. (04:16) - ADHD Awareness Updates! (07:13) - Let's talk about tasks... (14:27) - Thought Distortions (20:39) - But when do you eat the frog tho? (23:33) - Emoti

Coupled with distraction, negative ADHD self-talk is scrawled on the box describing ADHD. If we were in a global competition, we'd gold medal in it. When your ADHD is on lock, that voice can be destructive. This week: how do you manage that little voice when ADHD is having a very good day?How often do you hear it in your own voice? I’m always late. I can never stop when I need to. I can never get started. This is a symptom of ADHD and we all have it in some fashion or another. And as this is a conversation that is part of our transitions series, we have to remind you that when you are struggling with making context shifts, you're likely celebrating with negative self language. You're not broken. You're not doing anything wrong. It is... exactly what it is.This week on the show, Nikki and Pete are talking about this negative self-talk and ADHD and how you can start reprogramming your brain toward self-kindness and compassion.Oh, and if you have any trouble with that, you should take some advice from Nikki and

The last year has been traumatic. For all of us. In some way or another, we've been impacted by COVID and it's upended our lives. We're talking about transitions on the show in this series and coming to terms with the change we've endured in the last 18 months will be important in defining what we want the coming years to look like. As inspiration, Nikki started with an article by Sari Solden, Imagining Life After the Pandemic: Helping Women with ADHD Move Forward with Purpose. In it, Solden outlines her ADHD-friendly blueprint for re-imagining life in a post-pandemic world. But she wrote the article just a few months ago and we're already shaken by the changes in the world since. As rapidly as events evolve around is, we're challenged to adapt more quickly than ever. Feeling guilty about the things you didn't get done? Loving that you don't have to say "no" so much these days simply because you've been invited to do so much less? Worried about your rituals and losing what you've gained in the last year? You'

Changing gears is hard with ADHD. Moving from one thing to the next can feel like a chore and the range of emotions is wide. Distracted by too many options and moving too quickly? Stuck in hyperfocus and angry or frustrated that you're being shocked into a transition too soon? That's the point today. Moving from one state to the next, one activity to the next, is enough to throw the world into disarray. But this is the world we live in. So how can we learn to adapt?Dr. Thomas Brown has some terrific insights when it comes to this subject and we talk about his work a bit as a framing device: Activation, Focus, and Effort. These are the three executive functions that help us understand why our transition skills might be lacking, and giving ourselves a bit more care and feeding in these areas can pay big dividends. Pete does mention his love of big clocks that set themselves. He has La Crosse Technology Atomic Clocks all over his house. From planning to setting the right expectations, if you have trouble with tr

We're continuing our family series on the podcast with our dear friends Elaine Taylor-Klaus and Diane Dempster of Impact Parents. Together, they have taken their ADHD coaching and evolved their work into an incredible resource for parents raising complex kids. Independence starts todayThe rock-climbing metaphor is striking. Every move toward independence and confidence happens in the smallest of movements, not giant stretches. It is only with the gift of hindsight that we're able to see the great strides we've made. But if that's the case, how do we know what to do here and now? Through an assessment of two parenting experiences this week from your fair hosts, Diane and Elaine walk us through the things we can celebrate, and the steps we might take to redirect in an effort to implement the tools we can learn to help our complex kids to be independent and successful. Take a minute to browse Impact Parents and learn more about the work Diane and Elaine are doing for parents. (01:07) - Welcome to The ADHD Podca

We're continuing our conversations on ADHD and family relationships on The ADHD Podcast with a discussion on teens. "But wait," you might be thinking, "I'm no teen... what do I need with this episode?" Just hang with us a bit.We're talking to the authors of Mindfulness and Self-Compassion for Teen ADHD, Drs. Karen Bluth and Mark Bertin, a book not written about teens and ADHD, but too them. It's one of the rare experiences that asks teens directly and personally to think about their ADHD, their relationship with others and their experience at school and work.A Teen ADHD Book for AllWe've read the book and agree: it's an approachable read, not lingering in the complexities of neuro-diversity, but not shying away from the way the brain works. The main focus, however, is around building a healthy social life, independence, good grades, all in a voice that lets the reader know they're not alone when they get frustrated or feel isolated along the way.The authors join us on the show to talk about the tools that hel

We started our conversation with Dr. Norrine Russell with a plan in mind. We wanted to talk with her about the systems and processes she uses with her clients at Russell Coaching to support frustrated kids and families living with ADHD. She told us she'd be fine with that, but then said, "can I tell you what's on my mind?"What was on her mind is something on our minds, too. In our search for process perfection, we risk putting up walls for communication those we're trying to support. We're great at systems, too, but time and project management comes with a cost: we risk losing compassion and empathy, hardening ourselves to the things that give us the joy and support to move on. Thinking Fast and SlowIt's easy, living with ADHD, to imagine that thinking fast is the solution to distraction. If you think fast, after all, you might just finish a project before you're distracted by something else. Thinking slowly, on the other hand, gives your mind and body the time and space required to integrate new views, conce

Today on the show we're talking to the kids. Ok, not all the kids. We're starting with our kids, because they're ours, they live with ADHD, and they're pretty astute humans.There are some things they want the rest of us to know about their experience with ADHD that might just surprise you. What the Kids can Teach about ADHDThere are a few things that surprised us as we embarked on this journey to interview our kids about their experience with ADHD. First, they're usually ahead of us in their thinking. They've already done their own research, they understand modeling behavior and have started to pick up tips and tricks by simply observing other kids who have their skills on lock, and they aren't afraid to try new things. Like most of us, they don't appreciate being criticized, and they don't always understand the scrutiny. Most important, they can see when they're falling behind and they — again, like the rest of us — are frustrated. We talk about the study skills and habits that the kids most appreciate, and

Before we went on our annual July break, we posted a question to you: What do you do to keep your family running? Living with ADHD inside the complex organism that is your family, we wanted to know what kinds of systems you have in place to keep the trains on time as best you can, together. ADHD Family SolutionsYou answered! We grouped responses in four broad categories: Alarms, Planning, Cleaning, and Meal Planning, and today on the show we have a review! Some of live by alarms and use the snooze surgically. Some of you call out Getting Started with The Fly Lady and her shiny kitchen sink approach to contagious cleanliness. You shout out to Dana K. White from A Slob Comes Clean for her honest approach to organizing. You even give Pete a chance to shout out his new vacuum (it's the Shark upright, FYI).What we do know is that you all are getting it done with ADHD and your families, and that we all have a long path to walk to feel like we're truly on top of things. So this week we raise a glass to all those str

As we kick off our twenty-third season of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, we're looking at families. These are some of the closest relationships we have in our lives — we live with them, eat with them, play with them, sleep with them — but how does ADHD contribute to our family relationships? This week, Dr. Michelle Frank returns to introduce us to The Gottman Method. According to the website of the originators of the method, John and Julie Gottman, here's what we know about The Gottman Method: The Gottman Method is an approach to couples therapy that includes a thorough assessment of the couple’s relationship and integrates research-based interventions based on the Sound Relationship House Theory. The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm conflicting verbal communication; increase intimacy, respect, and affection; remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy; and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship.When we spoke to Dr. Frank ab

It’s the end of the road ... for this season. And to celebrate we’re taking a walk down memory lane for the shows that made the most impact on us, the guests that gave of their time to our community, and of course: Shocktato.Links & NotesThe Original Livestream Shocktato Incident. Let me just say this about that: I think my Shocktato is somehow damaged. There is no way a toy like this should be overclocked like it is. It made my back sweat… and back sweat is never child’s play. (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (01:59) - Support the Show • Become a Patron! (03:53) - A Bit on Seasons (07:08) - The Review! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Friendships are already a challenge with ADHD. What happens when you're also living with social anxiety and rejection sensitivity? We pull apart a few important lessons on the show this week, not the least of which is the following: in all likelihood, people like you more than you think they do. Is that hard to hear? Then you need to listen to this week's show. Nikki brings an exercise and resource to help you breakdown the RSD we live with, and how to deal with the disappointment that comes when we make ourselves vulnerable to close friendships. Pete helps to catalog those friendships thanks to the work of a new book by Robin Dunbar. Check out the infographic here and listen in for more.Links & Notes5 Ways to Deal with Disappointment — Dr. Radha ModgilFriends: Understanding the Power of Our Most Important Relationships — by Robin Dunbar (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (03:13) - Support the Show • Become a Patron! (05:25) - The Dunbar Friendship Circle (10:11) - More is not always better (14:12) - T

Is it common to struggle to develop friendships with ADHD? Let's just say, if you're struggling yourself, you're in good company. Struggles to manage time for friendships, develop close, meaningful ties, are made all the more difficult thanks to the bouquet of ADHD factors. This week on the show we’re thrilled to welcome back the fantastic Melissa Orlov. She’s a leading expert in how ADHD affects relationships. On top of that, she’s an award-winning author of books including The ADHD Effect on Marriage, and The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD. She’s founder of ADHD & Marriage where she writes regularly alongside a cast of incredible contributors and hosts a large community of adults learning about ADHD in their relationships.Links & NotesADHD & MarriageMelissa Orlov on Amazon (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (00:54) - Support the Show • Become a Patron (02:30) - Friendship and ADHD with Melissa Orlov (05:56) - Do you tell your friends about your ADHD? (11:34) - The Value of Friendships (

We met Sonal Singh as she was managing the virtual green room and serving as host for our session at last year’s CHADD International Conference on ADHD. Our paths had never crossed, but as we started chatting we realized just how fascinating her path had been.She is India’s first certified ADHD coach. We think this is fascinating. What would you do if you were in her shoes, and you had the opportunity to teach all those in your sphere about neurodivergence and executive function and the entire spectrum of ADHD?Of course, Sonal is doing much of her work with an International audience from her home in Delhi and we certainly don’t want to set her up as an ADHD savior for an entire country! But, we think hearing of her experience in this place and time can give us an interesting insight into the development of ADHD awareness as a culture, and that’s worth discussing on the show next week.Links & NotesSonalSinghCoaching.comExceptional Minds on FacebookADHD Life Coaching on Instagram (00:00) - Welcome to The AD

Did you know focus requires focus? Yes, it sounds a touch nonsensical, but when you're living with ADHD, the act of focusing has a tendency to become unhinged. And unhinged focus can damage what you're otherwise out to find: productivity.This week on the show we're talking all about focus, the state of mind appropriate for best focus, and how you can take care of your mind and body so that when you need to find focus, it's there. Links & NotesSerene: The macOS App for Laser-FocusFreedom: Block Websites, Apps, and the Internet (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (02:24) - Support the Show • Become a Patron! (06:18) - Focus on Focus ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Looking for focus? Like music? Have trouble focusing WITH music? We might just be able to help you out this week. Focus@Will is a service offering focus music to help you tune in to what you’re doing so that you can get it done. Will Henshall is the musician and inventor behind the service and joins us today to talk about the tool, the technology, and how it just might be your next secret weapon in your war on distraction.What’s different about the music? What makes it so good for focus? Will tells all this week with examples from channels across the site that help a wide range of brains to raise the noise floor and get working. We talk about entrainment, and why it can be both a useful tool for some people, and an even bigger distraction for others. Plus, we dive into a bit of 90’s music history to hear about Will’s past life as a founding musician behind Londonbeat. About Will HenshallWill Henshall is a Los Angeles based tech entrepreneur, inventor and music producer. He was the founding member and main wri

What does it mean to have? We’re not just talking about material possessions here, but how do you relate to having anything? Food? Space? Time? Focus? Productivity? Living with ADHD, we often live in a position of lack, of not having enough, of not being able to do enough, of scarcity. But we don’t have to live that way, and this week’s guest is going to tell us why. Author Victoria Castle joins us this week to talk about her book, ‘The Trance of Scarcity’. She helps us understand the trap of scarcity and the transformation to abundance. Even more, she helps us revisit our own bodies and our lived experience. We talk about what we aspire to with our ADHD, and how we can redraw that map to create the role models that serve us. (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (01:56) - Introducing Victoria Castle (03:48) - What is the Trance of Scarcity? (14:40) - Somatics (25:28) - How does loneliness magnify the Trance (35:37) - Remapping our Aspirations ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★