Help Me Be Me

This is a super short episode because it’s aimed at a very specific reflection exercise. It came about because one thing that I have noticed in my One-One-one sessions, is that people repeatedly say the change they want, very clearly, though they often don't hear themselves saying it. The change you want and need to make – in order to be happier– is simple and finite, if we can just hear ourselves. However, often we don’t because we are saying it unconsciously. So this is an episode all about how to make that thing conscious. It's all about discovering what you are yearning for, what you want to change, what condition is making you unhappy, and how to alter that simply. It’s a shorter episode because it’s really simple as an idea – and it really revolves around some specific journal prompts. For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com ! xo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a reflection episode all about how to foster originality and grow your sense of selfhood (and self-love). There’s something that happens when people become a mass – there’s a leaning toward sameness. This is a recording in service of inviting you all to lean into the things you think, feel and do, that no one else does. How to stand by yourself. And with that, I believe you will grow a loving friendship with yourself.   For more of my work check out YayWithMe.com xo!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a sensory kind of reflection on feeling more tied to your sense of wonder and aliveness. An invitation to anyone who gets into a default of doing and checking off boxes, versus feeling a sense of awe and rest.   This is a spur of the moment record done post-rain, an offering I wanted to throw out there for anyone who is looking to bring more play into their lives. It’s my current “frame” by which I am reexamining the habits I have in my life. I hope you enjoy! Xox Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an interview I do with longtime friend Lauri Burns, founder of The Teen Project. It’s all about that little voice that guides us from within and how we can strengthen our awareness of it so we can be guided when we need it the most. Warning: this episode has some sad topics in it, including abuse of children. If you need to skip that part you can stop listening right when I ask Lauri to tell a story from her new book. For anyone who wants to donate to The Teen Project: Visit TheTeenProject.com For the book about Lauri’s life story (cover featuring yours truly) check out: https://amzn.to/3mchiv4 For the book from the girls of Vera’s Sanctuary: https://www.yaywithme.com/shop/sanctuary-of-the-heart For her new book check The Teen Project website in December! What is that little voice that nudges me at the most random times? How does it sound? How can I tap into it more and allow it to guide me? This is for anyone who wants to grow their sense of spirituality, or even just understand that little voice t

This is really about when we start to enact the emotions, fears, losses, and wounds of someone in a previous generation – be that a parent, a parent's parents, or maybe a combination of these plus a self from many years ago who went through something really painful and damaging. Regardless, it can make you act out some pretty big feelings that are not truly aligned with the way you live your life in the present. This is how the course of our relationships can be changed for the worse - unless we become aware of these unconscious scripts.   SO MUCH of what we feel and enact is not ours. And it can wreak havoc on your closest adult relationships. So if something emotional is coming up for you that feels heightened or it happens to be looping, this may be an episode for you!   The book I mention in this episode is here: https://amzn.to/3lyYCVZ   To support our sponsors this week, check out Charlotte’s Web CBD and use promo code HELPMEBEME at check out to save 50% on your order (except bulk bundles)!   If you wan

For those in the throes of an obsession with an addict or high on your codependency – maybe you’re in love with someone and they start using or you discover they have an addiction, be that drugs, sex, alcohol. And they have continued to use despite you telling them you need them to stop. If you are in the midst of a relationship that suddenly turned crazy due to one partner resuming an addiction, this can lead to you feeling crazy, yourself. This is to listen to in the moment this occurs – especially if you feel like you are losing yourself and your sanity. Major caveat: This is for if you have an adult in your life who is using – not if you are a parent with a child who is using. Things are complicated when you have a child because you are responsible for caring for them and they are not adults yet capable of caring for themselves. I would not give you the same advice. I know it’s tough when you are in an area where there is no access to good 12-step meetings – so if you don’t have any friends, family, or

This is a follow-up episode to the previous boundaries episode a few weeks ago. It’s to listen to when you are in need of help in setting boundaries with a loved one, if you need some more tactical advice. I cover things to say to that person as well as ways to ground if you are feeling confused and lost in their arguments. It’s also mainly to remind you that boundaries are positive and loving for all people – you and the people in your life you are setting them with. Sending much love and know that it gets easier and more logical as you practice this! Xox! To check out my Patreon page including some exclusive content head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB To support our sponsors this week – and this show check out: ButcherBox! ButcherBox is offering our listeners Ground Beef For Life! For a limited time, ButcherBox™ is giving new members 2 pounds of free ground beef in every order for the life of your membership. Sign up at ButcherBox.com/HELPMEBEME and get 2 pounds of ground beef free in every order for the life of

This is for anyone who wants to quit something but is terrified of trying again – or feels hopeless about it. Or overwhelmed. Maybe you’ve already proven to yourself that you don’t like life without this thing enough to stay off of it. Or you are too disheartened to try again. I would bet that although you still do it, you hate this thing so much. You hate that it causes you so much sadness and lost time. And lost self-esteem. And you wish more than anything that you could just press a button and this thing would be gone from your life. That you didn’t have to struggle with this problem. A problem that stays between you and others. That keeps you from love or health or confidence. Of really feeling you can invest in your life being long and happy. I know that feeling well. It’s like living as a dead person – you are always aware of this dark shadow that is – that thing. The deadly addiction. And you want to turn off your ears and mind to it because it really feels like “I have no other option – so why would

This is an episode about good boundaries: how to set them as well as WHY to set them. You can think about having one loose boundary as having a leak in a boat: if there’s one hole (aka I have a bad boundary when it comes to dating – I can’t walk away when they don’t follow through) this means your whole sense of self is perpetually sinking. It resets the baseline for your entire life. You will be compromised in your self-respect, your worth, your self-love. It affects everything about your life. I created this episode because a lot of us don’t know what the hell a boundary is – and also why they directly translate into whether or not you like yourself and love yourself. This is a HUGE CORNERSTONE piece of confidence, happiness, lack of fear, lack of jealousy and the ability to actualize personal growth. If you change this ONE HABIT and begin to set firm boundaries, I kid you not it will change everything about your life for the better. It’s AMAZING in what it affects. IMO, it’s the most freeing and powerful t

We have experiences that imprint the physical responses we have to stressors in our life – big or small. So if you are feeling a sense of inner chaos and overwhelm, or you are feeling like you cannot handle all that is happening in your life, this is likely at least in part related to your physiological wiring. Meaning the experiences that impacted you the most from your upbringing. Maybe you get that feeling of panic or you have been feeling an overwhelming sense of hopelessness that causes you to procrastinate. Yes, stress has a lot to do with our literal life circumstances, but what we bring to those circumstances is also a huge piece of the puzzle. So if you are feeling a sense of “I can’t handle it” – or you have been snapping a lot lately, or you’ve been feeling numb – or very irritable, or perhaps very controlling and like a motor that is slowly running into the ground– this is an episode for you. I cover a lot of ways to lighten your load and come back to a place of resource. There are three parts to

This is for anyone who is fixating on what is better about someone else and devaluing yourself. The flux that is your own perceived value. It can become an obsession – something that doesn’t let go of your brain – and haunts you almost like a worry you cannot put to rest. I am in particular focusing on the measurement that may be done while online, maybe that’s with social media like Instagram, or with photos – some kind of evidence that you get obsessed with and cannot seem to stop weighing and quantifying. “If this thing I perfect, where do I fall compared to this thing?” Because just like anything, this is a perspective that – with deliberate effort and focus, can be shifted.  For more of my work you can head to YayWithMe.com  To support our latest sponsors, you can check out BirchLiving.com/HelpMeBeMe Or you can check out the podcast Chatting with Candace on Apple Podcasts! Xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How to move on if you didn’t get any explanation as to why someone is ending a relationship. Maybe that’s a romantic relationship. Maybe that’s a work relationship. Or maybe that’s a friendship. Because in that situation you might be searching for grounding that never comes. And this can be one of the hardest ways to end something – because it’s in itself a trauma. If you are in need of more information on this subject, you can check out The Break-Up Album on YayWithMe.com/shop/the-break-up-album That is my “break-up coach in a podcast album” that deals with how to move through a break-up in the most empowering, self-loving way possible. This is really like a truncated version of a chapter in the podcast album. And if you are really struggling, I highly recommend checking out BetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe and chatting with a therapist. This can bring up a lot of old trauma around loss. Regardless - I send you my love and positive vibes of healing and self-discovery! xox Learn more about your ad choices. Visit meg

This is an episode for starting to work your way out of a codependent relationship. When you’re in a relationship that really doesn’t make you feel better about yourself. Maybe it feels really unhealthy, or you know you’re not rewarded or happy. But you can’t leave – and you find yourself getting pulled back in again and again. This is also for anyone who is currently in a relationship with a person who they don’t trust. Maybe you have had issues with them in the past – they blame you for the issues in the relationship, they make you feel insecure and that you’re the crazy one. Maybe they have had a negative effect on your life – you’ve distanced from your friends, you have little positive input in your life outside of the time you spend together – and despite knowing that, you can’t seem to do anything about it. Heads up - as with all of my episodes, this is based on my personal experience and not a professional diagnosis. I strongly recommend therapy for this issue in particular. It worked great for me! The

This is focused on becoming more aware and also deliberate in your words – curating a more positive and empowering story for yourself and for those you love and enjoy, in life. This episode is also targeted at helping you to recognize your words: making them conscious and guided – because they very much narrate the future of your life. The ones you use inside and importantly outside, really do tell You and others– how things will go. Also, the stories we tell ourselves are often not even our own. We inherit them from parents or others who have modeled a situation for us in formative years: you might find yourself repeating things and really feeling them – even though they’re not true to your life situation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Or, "It's not about you." There are all sorts of unconscious processes that occur in individuals and they show up in our relationships. Usually, if we are getting into that loop of reactivity, it’s not about what it’s about. Rather, it’s a chain reaction of misunderstandings. Or it can often be due to both people feeling tapped and therefore yanking at the other person to please see them and give them attention. The best way to navigate out of a situation like this is to change that habit and bring in the feeling of bounty and openness. Easier said than done, but this is an episode aimed and getting you to that state. And also reminding yourself, if your partner is venting onto you– it’s not about me! To go more in-depth on this type of information you can check out Gottman here: https://amzn.to/2St6rAs For more of my work you can check out YayWithMe.com! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tools for regaining a sense of autonomy and self-confidence if you find that you are clinging and overly sensitive to the opinions of others. So if you are in a codependent relationship or you feel trapped in that fear-based loop that can happen when you are too consumed by a relationship, and you feel small and powerless, this is an episode for you. These are exercises – both physical and written- to do in order to condition your mind and body to resume a more empowered headspace. Strong. Self-assured. If you are feeling reliant on someone else or something else – like your value is somehow dictated by that thing, try starting here. I did these steps myself recently and found them to be re-centering and enlightening. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Burnout shows up as a loss of meaning – it might feel like everything is hard, or pointless, or not worth doing. So if you are experiencing something like that, you might be in that stage of “winter” – when we must go on an inner journey. One that brings forth new play and inspiration and growth. Creativity is an energy. A fountain of love and passion and drive and fun. We all must foster it! It brings us life and it brings the truest value we have, into the world. I am posting this for anyone who is experiencing burnout and in search of their origin: their innate sense of creativity. Because creativity is also play. It does not need to be useful – nor should it be. It does not need to be popular or understood. The soul yearns for an expression that is deeply rewarding, brings joy. I want to bring you all some magic and fire this week in the form of this powerup episode. It has a bunch of tools and exercises to invite forth your creative instincts if you are in the stage of burnout. The books/thinkers I menti

Feeling we are good enough and that our lives and decisions are valid and make sense – so that we can move into an active and inspired state. This is for anyone who is looking at others and feeling like they are falling short – like they should have what they have. Or maybe you’re focusing on their life their stuff their experiences and feeling resentful and desiring to have that stuff. It’s a painful feeling – often one we don’t want to have. So if that sounds like you, this is an episode for you. Three parts – what why and how! Here's my fave dream book: https://amzn.to/3e9xIPU Here's the book that I mentioned in the tools section: https://amzn.to/3akw90l If you'd like to check out some of my research here's one book with some interesting theories: https://amzn.to/3diN0SS This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe Learn more about your ad

You can do a lot of great work on yourself with a journal. If you want to try and work through a problem, or you want to start a journal but don’t know what to write about, this is an episode for you. It can also be really confusing as to what to talk about. Especially if nothing flows. The journal I use is this one: https://amzn.to/3tV5Vc5 And to apply for the free chat session you can head here: https://www.yaywithme.com/shop/apply-for-a-free-recorded-chat-session This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When You Can’t Own Your Successes. This is an episode about Imposter Phenomenon and what to do if you cannot own the successes you have in your life. If you’re not sure if you have this, I will ask you – is there an eternal disconnect between what others see in you and what you see in yourself? There are two very common underlying traits to Imposter Phenomenon- perfectionism and neuroticism. Which means you are overly perfectionistic and also overthink and put immense pressure on yourself, and set unreasonably high setpoints for yourself. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices