Help Me Be Me

This is a powerup for anyone who is burned out or about to be burned out – currently getting super overwhelmed by their schedule and they’re starting to freak out. A lot of the reason we start to freak out is we get stuck in a state of anticipation: we start to foreshadow negative consequences, imagining how bad something will be – we actively live suffering in our minds. What I want to remind you of is your actual physical moment is quite different. When you are stressed out and overwhelmed in this actual moment – it looks very different. If you want to make a donation or check out more of my work visit YayWithMe.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who is struggling with attempting to control others and/or obsessing about things in their own life, for example predicting future events and what they can do about them. The best part of this episode is def the tools! So if you're curious and also impatient, skip to part 3 - the tools. This is a request from a listener– it’s somewhat related to the self-sabotage podcast. The listener pointed out that when you are self-sabotaging you are attempting to control what will be – because the anxiety is too great. Once you know this is happening for you, how do you let go of the future and stop trying to control it? It’s a toughy, but I’m going to do my best! The audiobook I mention in this episode can be found here: https://amzn.to/2VGMySY For comments, to make a donation or to read more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone out there who is dating and they are struggling with letting go of the people who don’t text you back. It’s also for anyone who is dating someone you think you really like – and because of the rarity of that, you’re freaking the fuck out because you don’t know what to say or do and you don’t want to misstep. So – it’s for the mind-boggling stage of dating where nothing makes sense and there seems to be no structure or logic and you feel like a crazy person with no power. And every decision is decided by the focus group that is your friend group. This one is for Ty (‘s friend). Hope this helps! As with all my podcasts take what helps and leave the rest. xo If you are in this demographic and you’re struggling I recommend reading these two books– (at least) the first 3 chapters of this: https://amzn.to/2E9RtWL And this (but replace pronouns where appropriate): https://amzn.to/2NbzCla If the tone turns you off, I get it! But I would read it/listen to it regardless because it’s a good synthesis

Do you feel like you lost all power and autonomy in your new relationship? Are you always wrong, apologizing, groveling? Does it feel like you’re on drugs because of how intoxicating this person is? Do you obsess about them and yet you also kind of loathe dating them? Then you might be in a relationship with a narcissist. This is inspired by a listener and I thought it might be helpful to someone out there. And heads up - this is all information that is widely available out there on the interwebs so if you want to know more, give it a quick google – there are tons of resources. Here are a few books that I like if you want to dive deeper: Book 1: https://amzn.to/2MxkBd3 Book 2: https://amzn.to/2Mz4BqO And a book recommended by a listener (which I haven't read yet, but looks promising): https://amzn.to/2RW4ZFC To make request, see more of my work and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com xo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A reflection process for guiding your life versus your life living you. Happy New Year! I wanted to invite all of you to do a check in with yourself and your life – to see if you are happy, and specifically whether or not you are living it with the right “ratio.” Think of this like a screentime analysis of your life. I want you to grab your journal because we are going to reflect on specifics of what makes you the happiest. There are 3 parts. The first part is a journal reflection with 10 questions. The second part is an assignment to ensure you’re starting 2019 off on the inspired foot. The third part is a strength-building exercise for maintaining your best self. I hope you enjoy! If you’d like to check out more of my work or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com Xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a combo Q&A episode all about how to deal with the pain and courage needed to deal with a breakup. Four people had questions about leaving a relationship and struggling with that decision. The questions are as follows: >> How can especially sensitive people stand by their decision to leave a relationship and resist urges to go back and try harder? >> What are some healthy ways to deal with intense nostalgia when it strikes and convinces you that you left a perfect relationship? >>Despite knowing this person is not right for me, my brain goes into survival mode and has this insane desperation to continue to reach out and repair. Also is hard to see red flags when you’re in it; hindsight is 20/20 >>Is it possible to stop loving someone when you don’t want to love them anymore? I already consciously decided to leave the relationship I’m currently in but the thought of actually initiating a break up literally sounds like the worst thing ever. The book I think will help that I mention during the episode ca

In this episode I answer the audience question: Do you any tips on what to do about "social anxiety" around applying for a new job? I get overwhelmed every time I apply, feeling that I’m not enough and that I’ll hate the job when I get it… For helpful resources around this issue check out this book: https://amzn.to/2Qwq73O And for skills around this issue, check out this book: https://amzn.to/2Qs4kdx For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi friends, in this Q&A episode I answer just one question from a college student about how to accept yourself when you're not feeling confident in life. So if you're starting out in your adult life and you feel like a fraud, this is for you! If you want to check out more of my writing or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com and have a happy holiday xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a biggie, and the subject is not simple - however, I am going to try and chip off a small piece of the iceberg that is the issue of disordered eating. Because disordered eating is rampant in today’s society! It’s like the more we focus on ourselves, the more we pick those selves apart, and the more disconnected from our bodies and what they need, we become. What I’m covering is how to begin the process of conquering a binge-eating disorder – whether that’s just binging or binging and purging. I think it will still apply to you if you suffer from any disordered eating but it’s a request from someone asking specifically about binging. If you are on the fence about whether or not this episode will apply to you – I’ll ask you this: Are you trapped in a cycle of obsession that occupies a majority of your time and worry? Are you constantly fixated on the scale? Do you find yourself constantly needing to exercise for fear you won’t burn enough calories today? Are you living your life – or is the routine of t

This is a power-up episode just to invite you all to become familiar with the mind machine. The “computer” that helps us, keeps us driven and safe – but at times also hurts us – in that it reduces us to a base-level self. That self that feels small and wounded when we feel slighted, or mean and bitey when we feel judgmental. The goal of this is really just to become familiar with its tendencies so that you might you’re your choices despite it when it is not serving you. By "it" I mean your inner narrative. Because yes, you are a thinking being – but you are much more than your thoughts. Your thoughts are a thing that happens to you in you’re your body. You are the passive observer behind them. When we are overly identified with our thoughts – this can bring about a lot of pain. It’s much less painful when we can remind ourselves in the moment that it’s optional – and dis-indentify with the thinking in that moment. SO here’s what this power-up is. An explanation combined with a series of thought-exercises to d

This is for the person who got ghosted, not the person who ghosts. Contrary to how it feels, a lot of thought can go into ghosting. It could be something that someone debates and replays in their mind for weeks on end. The decision to ghost comes from a very specific place. It’s not “I don’t care at all” it’s more, “I don’t know what to say…” As in all my episodes, there are three parts – the what, why and how – the tools. This one’s for Bryan! For more of my work including the blog versions of my podcasts, head to YayWithMe.com To make a donation you can visit YayWithMe.com/donate or find me on Patreon.com/SarahMayB Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who’s in the throws of getting over a really toxic and yet, addictive relationship. I would otherwise call it the rock bottom part of your relationship loop. Maybe you’ve known this was not a good relationship for you for a very long time but you were always too terrified to leave it. Yet now that you’re mid-escape, you feel crippled by the intense pain that’s been brought on by it. If that sounds like you – first of all I want to say – get to a therapist’s office, stat. This can be a really scary thing to go through without support. Now of all times, it can be really helpful to even try meds to take the edge off. If you feel like you can’t handle your sich – dial 9-11. That’s the simplest tool. And second, know that this will not be forever – even though that’s what your feelings tell you, right now. It’s just gonna suck for a little while. You’re in the thick of it, right now. The only way to move is up. Here are some tools to help you start heading there. The book (The Five Second Rule)

Hi peeps! This is an oldy but a goody. I posted this on my blog like 6 years ago but since someone requested, I thought I would throw it out again and also do the challenge myself. This is appropriated from a TedTalk by Shawn Achor - if you want to hear more about it you can watch that here: https://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work?language=en For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com Join me - this is my Day 1! xoxoxo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi friends, this is a special power-up episode – it’s basically a list of my favorite and most frequently used tools as of late. I’m just going go through them in list format. If you’re in need of some tools for happiness, compassion, self-awareness, confidence, and energy-tuning – this is an episode for you. For anyone interested, here are the books and authors I mentioned: A book where you can find more of John Gottman’s principles: https://amzn.to/2vM4fGb A book about Loving What Is: https://amzn.to/2vN7z3K A book for fun and joy-tuning by Pam Grout: https://amzn.to/2OBeFzj If you want to check out more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I talk about why people are afraid of intimacy and commitment – and I do it for both sides of the relationship: the fearers and the chasers. So this is for anyone who was in a happy in a relationship and then their partner started distancing as soon as things got close. It’s ALSO for anyone who can’t seem to stay in a committed relationship and you don’t know why you find yourself bailing as soon as someone starts to like you. This is something I see often in my One-on-One’s and I thought it warranted a podcast episode. And because I am directing this at two audiences, I jump back and forth between who I am identifying with. So sorry in advance if that gets annoying. I don’t want one side to feel left out. As per usual there are three parts: the what, why and how the tools. To make a donation and see more of my writing head to YayWithMe.com My references and your recommended reading: For Huskies: Mindsight https://amzn.to/2AjEkKN The Self-Sabotage Cycle https://amzn.to/2LsQrds For Cubs: Attach

Hi friends, today I answer two questions – the first is about dealing with a partner who has boundary issues with a person who is infatuated with them. The second is about dealing with unrequited love – basically, how to confront saying goodbye to someone if you’re friends and in love with them. If you’d like to ask a question or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who feels not good enough, like a failure. Maybe you feel like you wasted your life, money, time, heart, career, 20’s, 30’s, fill in the blank. This feeling of not knowing who you are – not knowing why you’re behind everyone else, why you can’t seem to build a life that makes you happy – and it comes with an itchy state of discomfort with self. A constant narrative of self-judgment – the voice that isolates you and makes you feel worthless and like you need to escape social situations or at the very least have something expensive or exotic to talk about otherwise everyone will see what a loser you are. Maybe you’re one of those people who feels like their skin is crawling when they’re around happy and beautiful people: you look at other people and think – they’re so much skinnier, smarter, funnier, happier or ____than I am. Whatever the voice in your head says, this one's for you if you're hating on yourself and your life path. For more of my work and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.co

Today I answer two audience questions: the first from a guy who caught his BF sexting on Grindr, and he doesn’t know how to move forward. The second, a girl who got ghosted by her love of her life right after semi-losing her job – now she’s overwhelmed and panicking about life and where to go from here. Hang in there guys - I hope this helps and the book I mention for Fred is linked below: https://amzn.to/2IEh5ib For more of my writing and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is all about how to deal with the loss of a person who has been very difficult in your life: the pros and cons of getting “closure” and if that’s right for you. Hi friends, today I am talking with one of my besties, Leila, about loss and impending loss – and basically, how to prepare yourself mentally for the loss of someone you have a lot of mixed feelings about. I am going to loosely structure this in 3 parts – since it’s more of a conversation. So in short, a relationship you have protected yourself from – because it’s toxic, and now you have to deal with the fact that you are losing this person – and that brings up all the unfinished shit from growing up. Hope it helps!! If you have any questions, or to make a donation, you can find me at YayWithMe.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi peeps! This is a “Digital Diet Challenge” all about creating mental space for yourself and checking any harmful habits you might have around smartphones and social media. I challenge everyone to take a stab at this. I want to preface this by saying this isn’t about removing smartphones and social media – it’s just about becoming aware of how you are feeling in reaction to it. I hope this helps! For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo! The study I mentioned is here: http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2167702617723376 A podcast about this topic is here: http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/allinthemind/the-kids-of-today/9637570 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices