The Overwhelmed Brain | Stress | Anxiety | Relationship | Critical Thinking | Emotional Intelligence | Emotional Abuse

A toxic relationship is one where at least one person is hurtful to another when there is supposed to be love, kindness, respect, and support. A woman wrote to me and said she was in a toxic relationship for far too long and is now trying to figure out how to forgive herself and move on. That's a great idea. I do my best to help her do that in this episode. We talk about that and more so I hope you get a chance to listen to the whole thing. 

A listener was told she was passive-aggressive and she didn't realize it. She asked how to identify it in herself and how and why it comes about. I address this great topic in today's episode. I also talk about a very difficult situation where a disabled partner is also an abusive partner and his wife doesn't know what to do about it. It's a packed episode today. 

If you acted badly toward someone in your past, is it a good idea to reach out and apologize years later? What if they're a past romantic partner you hurt and they've moved on, do you think they'll want to hear from you?   I try to answer that question and also talk about judgment in relationships in this packed episode.

A woman blocks her mom because of her years of toxic behavior. When she unblocks her, the mom reaches out, never mentioning being blocked, and never apologizing or taking responsibility for her hurtful behavior. Is it time to accept someone like that back into your life? What if they send you gifts but no apology? Is it worth taking the risk?   I talk about that and more in this packed episode.

When you say what you mean, you get a lot more done than most people because you leave little room for interpretation. Is there a way to do this elegantly and effectively so you don't sound like a total jerk? Sometimes when you show up as the person you want to be, some people may not want you to be who you are.   I talk about that and apologizing for messing up when things have been going so well.

When you are mistreated in some way and made to feel less than dirt, do you accept that you are as you are treated or that you are as you choose to be? Don't let other people's perceptions of you define you. Hold yourself to a certain standard and watch everyone else change or leave. It's not easy, of course. But it is very useful.

If you're waiting for someone to make a decision so that you can figure out which direction to go, you might be waiting a while. Some people are very comfortable in their indecision and don't mind how long they stay in the rut. Sometimes they never decide and that means there's a point where you have to move because they never will. I talk about that and also talk about apologies and forgiveness, which can sometimes go hand in hand with being in a rut.

What do you do when someone you care about tells you a secret that affects other people you care about? Do you follow your heart or your values? Does your moral compass activate and make you express the secret to those who should know? A dilemma like this seems like it has no real good answer.

I got a letter from someone who is being stalked online by her ex-boyfriend's wife. She has nothing to do with this person, yet she is a target. Is there a way out of this crazy mess? In segment two, I talk about a message I received about making a decision on the relationship after feelings change. This is a packed episode.

When you're always "on," it means you put on your game face in every interaction with others. It's like being in customer service and having to smile at every single customer that walks in the door.   Do this all day and you'll probably want to crawl inside your shell when you get home. In today's episode, I talk about what this is like from celebrities to baristas to anyone that feels like they need to be "on" all the time.

Pretending is draining. When you're unwell and you show the world you're doing great, you lose energy, dissolve relationships, and turn people off. This episode is about learning what a pretender is to help you avoid sabotaging your own path to happiness.

When someone plays head games with you, they're not telling you the whole truth. Perhaps they are lying altogether. The problem is, you can't always pinpoint what they're doing, you just know something's not right.  What to do... I try to tackle that today. 

There's a point where you've left the nest and started living your own life. But some parents haven't let you go. Some tell you how to live your life. Some are just toxic and won't leave you alone or stop telling you what to do. And some just don't want to let go of the parenting role because they think you can't handle life.  There's a point you have to help them let you go. 

When it comes to relationships, I think it's best to support the other person as much as possible. The trick is doing so while you disagree with what they're doing. Choosing to instead reject or deny what they want to do for themselves could lead to tension and changes of behavior you may not like. Is it best to sacrifice who you are for them? Or can you reach a compromise? Sometimes even supporting someone you love isn't enough.

Sometimes a friendship takes an unexpected turn. Who you thought was your bestie suddenly leaves you out of an important event in their life or doesn't share things they used to share with you. What's going on in that case? Have they changed? Are they suddenly unhappy with you?  I talk about that and also read a message from someone who is looking for the mental fortitude to create forward momentum in his life.  Visit for more episodes

The pressure that builds inside you when you don't say or do what you really want to say or do has to come out. Holding on to negativity is like keeping your hand on the hot stove and expecting not to get burned. You can express and release the negativity on your terms, or it can surprise you by coming out around people you love later.   Visit for more episodes

We can be so critical sometimes, especially toward people we love. Is it necessary to continue being judgmental or critical toward people that never change? Is it our job to change them? Judgments really have no place in relationships but when they are there, they almost always lead to disconnect and resentment.      Visit for more episodes

When the life you have looks a lot less appealing than the life you could have, you may have lots of feelings about it. You may even obsess about it. What can you do about these thoughts? Is it time to give up and give in to a mundane life, or can you reconnect with the way you used to feel?  Visit for more episodes

When you meet someone and instantly feel love at first sight, like they're your "soulmate" or "the one," it's possible that not only are they not the one, but they may actually be the one person you want to get away from in a few months.  There are many caveats to meeting someone you have an instant connection with. I talk about that and more in this episode.  For more episodes, visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/podcasts

You might take the fall for a lot of things that happen when you probably don't need to. Sometimes, that's a kind thing to do. But when it happens more often than not, especially with certain people, you're probably in a toxic (tox-sick) situation that needs to be resolved.   Visit for more episodes