Dear Hank & John

Can I use eggwater for coffee? Do cows eat chickens? Does soup make you pee? How does electricity know when a circuit is closed? How many pancakes are required for a stack? Is John trying to pull his hair out? What's some good cheese-grating small talk? Hank and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Why can't I sneeze on command? Do young people really not want to work anymore? Does every region have their own secret sodas? When will the Awesome Coffee Club make tea? Could I survive deep underwater if I went down there slowly enough? Why don't people say things are going North? Hank and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn 

Can fish see water? How do you decide what to write about? Does a shoal ever get to just vibe? What's your favorite part of the movie Goncharov? Do sea creatures have boogers? How long would it take to walk around the moon? Why do people unwantedly abbreviate my name? What color do you want your bones to be? Do I move through time, or vice versa? Can I keep a gift I haven't given yet? Hank and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Are anthills just one person? Can you help solve crosswords? Did people used to think they would die of colds? What does "have a good one" mean? When can I compliment a stranger?  Hank and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

What person growth have you seen in your life? Why doesn't my heart feel sore after exercise? Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Which uncle is most likely to underpay you? How do eyes wear a sundress? What are your New Year's Hot Takes? Hank and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

What can I do in an empty library? How fast do we make pee? Can a horse and a dinosaur have kids? Can I live in Milton Keynes as a Wimbledon fan? Could I drink Martian water through a filtered straw? Is the sun up there silently screaming for all eternity?  Hank and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Does it really take one to know one? What do I say when I hand someone blood? How do I catch up with news on a monthly basis? How do I keep my impact in perspective?  Hank and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn 

Why aren't people over 18 called majors? How does irratiation work? Why are different spots of skin different? What does it mean for Hank to be on a journey of meaning? How long have artichokes been around? Who's Bernice? Hank and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

What would you do with $44 billion? How important are consistent beliefs? Who decides collective nouns? How do I stop swearing but still be cool? Can correlation ever imply causation? Do we know more about ʻOumuamua? Hank and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Who decides how a name is pronounced? What would you preserve for the future? How do I make sure I'm kind? Have you purchased your burial plots yet? What can I do in Indianapolis? How do I impress with rollerblades? Have you considered going to Ireland? John Green and Sarah Urist Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Why is it harder to wake up during inclement weather? How do I explain gravity to a 3-year-old? Do magnets ever stop magneting? Do I weigh less on a mountain? What's the difference between an -ology and an -onomy? Where should I get my next tattoo? What's the tattoo-getting etiquette?  Hank and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn 

Where does paper go when you cut it? Were silent letters always silent? Why do you only smell smells when you inhale? What categories aren't made up? Do other planets each have their own unique day names? How do you deal with grief? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Did people used to die of old age earlier? What would happen to a dead body on the moon? Where could I live that is furthest away from venomous creatures? How do we know that smacking an asteroid would keep it from hitting Earth? How do I be brave in the dark? Hank Green and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Do you have questions? This week only, Hank Green and John Green have exactly zero answers! Just a real human conversation about pilfered lemurs, secret playlists, and past mortifications. If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Could you break out of a giant pickle? How do you balance gratitude? How do I pretend I know what someone's talking about? How do I be more understanding of reply anxiety? How do I handle people who don't like Rocky Horror? How do I correct someone's pronunciation? Hank Green and Mark Watson have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

What class would you invent? How do I know if someone recognizes Pizza John or not? How do I let one of my students know I recognize Snizza John? What do I do when a student tells me I look like I eat trail mix? Is time just an increase in entropy? How do you handle pizza emergencies? What beverage do we leave out on Pizzamas Eve? Hank and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

What's up with Ryan Reynolds? Why do green anoles like singing more than brown anoles? Is stomach acid inside our bodies or outside our tubes? How do bats aim poop? How do La Croixs get their flavor? What is the beer of champagnes? Hank and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Would being caught just before hitting the ground still hurt? Is it bad that the Earth is spinning faster? Where does the air inside of bell peppers come from? Why do people use pot lids as cymbals? How do you get better at trivia?  Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

How often does the moon go around the Earth? Are bugs alright? How do I not cry at rude customers? When's the last time you had a good cry? What is the animal version of "humanity"? Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn