Dear Hank & John

How do I show non-consumerist appreciation for my mom? Is it better to be sticky or slippery? What's your favorite chair? How do you get used to living in the cold? How do I deal with having an awkward screen name? How often do books get rejected by publishers? How do you have a moderate opinion? What's the dumbest way you've ever been injured? How do you fight for custody of a goldfish? How do I become mayor? How do I lie about how I met my best friend? Hank Green and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

How do I wrangle a lot of crickets? How do I spend less time looking at screens? Is a paperback version of a new book worth the wait? What do I keep having recurring dreams about Nicolas Cage being my uncle? Can you sneeze underwater? John Green and Hank Green have answers! Unless your question is "who are Nic Cage's parents," in which case the answer is August Coppola & Joy Vogelsang, neither of whom appear by name in this episode! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

How does the ozone layer relate to climate change? How can I communicate with my phoneless best friend? How many ants would it take to carry a human? Can I drink 4-year-old soda? John Green and Hank Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

How do I connect with my siblings? Why do some cereals falsely claim nuts? Is it okay to call a professor by their first name? Are coffee machines a kitchen necessity? How do I format a scholarship essay? John Green and Hank Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Why don't people paint their houses black? How do I deal with loneliness? What are some good triplet pranks? What are the Google Street View must-see attractions? What's up with money? How much is one lock of hair? Where can I find a "Kirskagard" journal? John Green and Hank Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Why have I become nocturnal? How do I write in a book? Where does the phrase "the high seas" come from? Which fruits are breakfast fruits? How do I help my mom appreciate art? How do I deal with negativity on social media? How big would googly eyes need to be to see them on the moon? John Green and Hank Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

How do I stop being embarrassed by mail? How do I edit my grandpa's book? Is it selfish to cry on your birthday? How do I live in a place with bugs? What is something that took you an embarrassingly long time to find out? John Green and Hank Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

What happens to ducks when they die? Have you written your will? Why are things blurry even when my face is close to the mirror? What should I grow in my garden? What should I learn about? Can I hang out with ghosts while still practicing social distancing? How do you talk while crying? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Are the astronauts stuck on the space station right now? What crafts or books can I use to pass the time? Will books still come out on schedule? How do I paint something other than animals in dresses? What does "under the weather" mean? Do chickens go through menopause? What's the best human law for a cat to break? Can you make your website less confusing? Why does rubbing alcohol evaporate? How do I stay positive while on the front lines of a pandemic? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

How do I convince my parents to take social isolation seriously? Can I social distance from the same room? How can I get to know my new town while social distancing? Are squirrels real? Should I tell my parents about the secret passage I found in my room? Whatever happened to Soggy Pitch? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

How do I entertain myself during a quarantine? Where is the center of the universe? Why are the letters on a phone keypad upside down from a keyboard numberpad? Should I stop talking to my friend because they don't like The Mountain Goats? How do I cope with sudden major life changes? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Have you ever added a strange fact to a book? How does a teacher inspire their students? How do I figure out if NASA has aliens? Do lobsters feel pain? How do I focus on one book at a time? How do I keep my family from bringing a siege engine to my wedding? How do I tell someone my name without embarrassing them for getting it wrong? Is only ever wearing one color attractive? How do I get to know my new city? Is being in a spoon cult an interesting enough fact when I introduce myself? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

How do I stop losing forks? How do I handle my cat's internet fame? What's your favorite bird? How do I quit my job? What do I do when my job runs out of pasta? Why do some chairs have butt grooves? John Green and Hank Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Should I go to a concert if my recent ex will be there? How do book blurbs work? Can a two-person book club even function? How do I become a better writer? How do I entertain myself while stuck in a department store? Should I feel guilty about making less money than my partner? How do I help my parents understand that Amsterdam is safe? John Green and Sarah Urist Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

How do I cope with my unrequited love for Timothée Chalamet? Why have I started exclusively reading non-fiction? How can I both support and express concern for my mom's world-class Candy Crush skills? What's the expiration date on a frozen turkey? How can I tell if my fiancée thinks my grandma starred in The Sound of Music? How do I keep a journal? How do I entertain myself without looking at a screen? How do I feel better about accidentally growing the wrong plants? John Green and Hank Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Where do I start with Star Trek? Where does water go when I turn the faucet off? Why does my nose produce more snot when I cry? Should I ask permission before I sharpen my roommate's knives? How do I become less emotionally attached to a statue I don't own? Is it okay to wear white to a bride-less wedding reception? Is there a way to use social media without getting drawn into arguments? John Green and Hank Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

How close is the sky to the ground? How do you keep the words that captivate you from slipping away? Is it okay to have doubts on the day of your wedding? Could I keep my spouse's calcified heart on my desk? What do I do if I'm trapped in a car due to skunk? How do I properly use the phrase "It's all downhill/uphill from here"? John Green and Hank Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

How can I find time to do all the things? If I smack someone with my lower limb prosthetic, am I kicking them? What is the oddest combination of food you’ve seen someone eating? What if I love something everyone hates? Did you ever consider throwing in the towel? When do you figure out how to solve adult problems? What do I do about my leg’s fart sounds? How can I appear older in a room full of high school students? How do I convince my spouse to move for my improv group? John Green and Hank Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

What happens to balloons when they fly away into the sky? How do I record a video of myself? Who should you thank? Can bees feel happy and sad? When does the Anthropocene end? How do I get my boyfriend to take ghost travel seriously? What does Kindle highlighting say about humanity? John Green and Hank Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

What hobbies should I take up while my feet are broken? What would you like to come back as in your next life? Am I "just a teacher"? What is the proper response to a cheese burglar? What should I do about the snoring guy? Is there an American seasoning? How long should you keep Christmas cards? How do you deal with reliving a horrible moment over and over again? Why does my daughter keep asking if I'm hungry? What is proper puzzle protocol? John Green and Hank Green have answers. If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter