Poddy Break With Tim Hawkins

The gang gets current and talks current events that are happening currently. Tim makes his plot known to “Will Smith” Albert Pujols upon his return to St. Louis. Livy saves people’s lives after having just one sip of hard seltzer. Heather sprays water at the TV during the Oscars. Luke condones steroid use in the competitive world of podcasting. Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode! Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim and Heather are darn near driven to bankruptcy by an extra order of guac. The gang has a classic Hawkins playlist session, in which Luke is particularly affected by Heather’s least favorite song in the universe. Livy sings a traditional Irish folk ballad (chaos ensues because there’s no vocal guitar). Jackson calls in to say hello, and don’t worry, he probably got the job! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The gang swaps out Livy for Levi (with just a couple vowels), then talks their favorite and least favorite phrases. Tim softens the blow on telemarketers after Heather sets him straight. Luke and Levi relive the foundation of human civilization through a game of squish ball. Oh, and there will be scat.  Thank you to this week's sponsors! Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Public Goods: Go to www.publicgoods.com/HAWKINS or use code HAWKINS at checkout to receive $15 off your first order with no minimum purchase! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim’s inside news source in Eastern Europe has almost no clue what’s going on in Ukraine. The gang receives a complimentary batch of 2-piece swimsuits. Livy breaks down the step-by-step process of raising comedically gifted children. Heather gets road rage and hits a building with her car that was giving her some attitude. Luke recalls his boyhood days in the woods and, reportedly, is the first human to successfully put his phone charger into the wall in one fell swoop. HUGE Thanks to our Sponsors this week! Indeed: Go to indeed.com/HAWKINS to claim your $75 job sponsorship credit! Offer expires March 31st. ExpressVPN: Go to expressvpn.com/HAWKINS to get 3 extra months for free! Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Gang has a collective crying fit talking about how difficult it is when families begin to grow apart. (Adele is involved, obviously). Tim practices his football coaching routine with an unusual soundtrack. Livy embraces total fashion freedom and Luke fails to make friends at the gym. Heather needs custom headphones made for her unique ear shape. Oh, and it is decided that everyone has a junk drawer - if you think you don’t, you just haven’t found it yet.  Thank you to our sponsors! Public Goods: Go to www.publicgoods.com/HAWKINS or use code HAWKINS at checkout to receive $15 off your first order with no minimum purchase! Faithful Counseling: Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim gets a holy seal of approval from a street walker. Heather's new trainer makes her cry, but she assures us that she’s loving it. Luke and Livy spar over sparse food. Jackson, in his latest rant, issues the final verdict on peanut butter and celery. Plus, an old gem straight from Tim’s Comedy Vault…the Stalker Song!  Thank you to our sponsors! Goodr: Go to goodr.com and use code TIM for 15% off at checkout! Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Love lingers as the Hawkins couples discuss their romantic origin stories. Tim forces Luke to issue an apology to all women for his offensive jokes.  Livy uses every spare tire in the St. Louis metro area. Heather, much like Nike, just does it. Oh, and more rapping! Big Thanks to our Sponsors!  ExpressVPN: Visit ExpressVPN.com/HAWKINS to get 3 extra months free! Athletic Greens: Get a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Public Goods: Go to www.publicgoods.com/HAWKINS or use code HAWKINS at checkout to receive $15 off your first order with no minimum purchase! Hiya: Receive 50% off your first order! Go to hiyahealth.com/HAWKINS or enter code HAWKINS at checkout Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Love is in the air for the Hawkins Gang! Tim lists out everything he loves most about his dear Heather and Livy locks herself in the bathroom with a chocolate chip cookie to hide from Luke. The gang deconstructs the food pyramid and fills in their own personal pyramid. We get a live tour of Luke’s house with exclusive Livy-DVD commentary. Plus, a remix of Crappaw that you won’t want to miss!  Indeed: Go to indeed.com/HAWKINS to claim your $75 job credit before March 31st!  Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The gang revels in hodunk nation engaging with the content in new and exciting ways! Another world-famous Jackson sporting event enthralls the local community. Livy makes an award-winning short film at the Hawkins House and Luke crosses the line at an ice cream shop. Heather puts a rude employee in her proper place and Tim walks Livy down the aisle once more…his favorite grocery store aisle, that is. Big thanks to our Sponsors!  Public Goods: Go to www.publicgoods.com/HAWKINS or use code HAWKINS at checkout to receive $15 off your first order with no minimum purchase! Hiya: Receive 50% off your first order! Go to hiyahealth.com/HAWKINS or enter code HAWKINS at checkout Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Gang breaks out the family tree to figure out who’s going bald and who’s keeping the flow. Livy punches Luke to relieve stress and breaks out a guitar to share her latest track. Luke fixes the sink and introduces the gang to Pindar, the world dominating lizard…who calls in later! Heather shares unfortunate stories involving tobacco spit. Tim analyzes fame and shares his secret of “outermittent” fasting: eating for 22 hours a day and fasting for 2 (Please don’t try this at home).    Big thanks to our sponsors for this episode:    Goodr: Get 15% off your entire order at goodr.com when you use code TIM at checkout!    Public Goods: Go to www.publicgoods.com/HAWKINS or use code HAWKINS at checkout to receive $15 off your first order with no minimum purchase!   Faithful Counseling: Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The gang is back for an epic 2022! This week, Jackson steps off his soap box and takes a seat to join the conversation. (Don’t worry…ranting to follow). Everyone puts their heads together to try and make certain rap songs family friendly, Livy educates everyone on the art of the fitted sheet, and Jackson goes full-on Scottish. A sprawling fast food discussion ensues that will surely be referenced in academic papers. Plus, Omicron itself calls in to profess both its iron-fist rule and its fandom of the show...so sweet!  A big thanks to our sponsors!  Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Uncommon Goods: To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com/HAWKINS Hiya: Receive 50% off your first order! Go to hiyahealth.com/HAWKINS or enter code HAWKINS at checkout Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Even more special moments from 2021! Tim tries out material for the gang, Jackson keeps ranting,  Livy invokes the spirit of Ben Franklin, the gang gets heated about adverbs, new baby announcements, and that’s just the beginning!  Hodunks new and old will love this Hawkins gang wrap up. Thank you to our sponsors! Indeed: Go to indeed.com/HAWKINS to claim your $75 credit to upgrade your job post! Offer only valid up to March 31st. Athletic Greens: Get a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our favorite moments from the first half of 2021! Jackson rants, Livy's vocal guitar, Tim & Luke's greatest hits, Heather's motherly guidance, tidbits from our favorite guests, and so much more. If you forgot to listen to the first 16 episodes of last year, this is your official Hawkins-approved cheat sheet! There will be a quiz.  Big Thanks To Our Sponsors! Hiya: Receive 50% off your first order.! Go to hiyahealth.com/HAWKINS or enter code HAWKINS at checkout. Athletic Greens: Get a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Public Goods: Receive $15  off your first order with NO MINIMUM purchase! Go to publicgoods.com/HAWKINS or use code HAWKINS at checkout.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Gang talks best and worst of karaoke and goes Irish in an attempt to woo more American audiences. Tim forgets some material and Luke sees the weirdest form of the elephant man. Heather tries to lay down some bars and Livy puts on an all-out beatbox concert you won’t want to miss. Plus, a call in from the North Pole from good ol’ Dr. Fauci! Turns out, it’s pretty dang tough to swab an elf.  Big thanks to our sponsors of this episode! Mack Weldon: For 20% off your first order, go to mackweldon.com/HAWKINS and enter promo code HAWKINS Faithful Counseling: Go to faithfulcounseling.com/TIMHAWKINS for 10% off of your first month of counseling.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Gang ponders the mysterious world of life before the internet. Livy confesses to not knowing the difference between the metaverse and matrix, and recounts getting sexually harassed by an elderly lady. Luke reads a particularly vicious Amazon review of a disappointed hot sauce user. Tim develops dad-envy at the golf course. Plus, everyone’s favorite Norwegian rocker, Ulf Nerfgun, rings in the show with some classic Scandinavian holiday cheer! (Beware of Krampus).  Thank you to our sponsors! Butcherbox: New members can get free bacon for life and up to $100 off! Sign up at butcherbox.com/TIMHAWKINS Mack Weldon: For 20% off your first order, visit mackweldon.com/HAWKINS and enter promo code HAWKINS     Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim gives the new Beatles documentary his seal of approval and uses the inspiration to write a hit single with Luke! The Gang pretends to not be pretentious by pretending not to know what precocious means (don’t ask). Livy and Heather try to nail down what to get Tim for Christmas...even though he just wants a candle. Plus, a special call in from Mark Zuckerberg, who explains the true meaning of Meta and has a binary sneezing fit.  Big thanks to our sponsors! Uncommon Goods: To get 15% off your next gift, go to www.uncommongoods.com/HAWKINS  Quip: Go to getquip.com/HAWKINS to get your first refill FREE and up to 40% off bundles! Public Goods: Go to www.publicgoods.com/HAWKINS or use code HAWKINS at checkout to receive $15 off your first order with no minimum purchase! StoryWorth: Go to www.StoryWorth.com/HAWKINS and save $10 on your first purchase!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim gets a call from the most english englishman you’ve ever done heard. Levi joins the gang to give the outsider’s take on marriage and tell us about George Washington’s wooden...feet? Heather and Livy explain the art of feminine hair critique. Luke combines his two greatest passions into one push up. The gang decides that most people suck...and that they must be banished to a mug. Big thanks to our sponsors! Skylight Frames: For $10 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame, go to skylightframe.com and enter code TIM Raycon: Visit www.buyraycon.com/HAWKINS to unlock exclusive deals up to 20% off your Raycon order! Shipstation: Go to shipstation.com, click on the microphone at the top, and enter code HAWKINS to get a 60 day free trial     Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The gang is joined by comedian and good ol’ Tim pal, John Branyan! A masterclass ensues on the art of stand up and everyone tries out material, new and old, that you won’t want to miss. Resolved in this episode: God decides who’s funny and who’s not and the government can get over your fence if they so desire...probably. Luke speaks blasphemy of cotton candy and Livy counts down from ten.  Big thanks to our sponsors! Mack Weldon: For 20% off your first order, visit Mack Weldon.com/HAWKINS and enter promo code HAWKINS Skylight Frames: For $10 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame, go to skylightframe.com and enter code TIM Public Goods: Go to publicgoods.com/HAWKINS or use code HAWKINS to receive $15 off your first order Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim cracks himself up and makes a list of lists. Luke officiates a wedding and could perhaps do yours as well. Livy ruins grilled cheese for everyone, forever. The gang laments multi-level marketing schemes and the perils of falling for one.  Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring this episode! Go to shipstation.com, click on the microphone at the top, and enter code HAWKINS to get a 60 day free trial.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim puts his whole life on the line on a mug. Luke turns out to be one of those anti-stop sign people. The gang decides that Hitler was bad. Livy and Tim sing a very special song about everyone’s favorite leafy bowl food. Jackson rants about the cheater-cheater pumpkin eaters. Plus, a special call in from Mr. Pope, who simply won’t hang up the phone!  Thank you to our sponsors for this episode:  Public Goods: Go to www.publicgoods.com/HAWKINS or use code HAWKINS at checkout to receive $15 off your first order with no minimum purchase! StoryWorth: Go to www.StoryWorth.com/HAWKINS and save $10 on your first purchase! Raycon: Visit www.buyraycon.com/HAWKINS to unlock exclusive deals up to 20% off your Raycon order! Uncommon Goods: To get 15% off you next gift, go to www.uncommongoods.com/HAWKINS      Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices