Sexploration With Monika

Polly Superstar, who co-founded Kinky Salon, is writing her memoirs. Over the last 10-years of throwing San Franfreakshow's most creative sex party she describes her new project KoTango with bestseller "Sex At Dawn" author Christopher Ryan. KoTango is a cross between a social network, sex-positive news platform, and open-relationship dating or meet-up site. Polly and I discuss how if humans were "naturally promiscuous" in prehistoric times, where does that leave us now after 10,000 years of culturally-imposed monogamy? We discuss polyamory, open marriages, and even just admitting that you're attracted to others in a monogamous relationship and creating a safe container for mutual exploration and expression. Also, she tells us about a tantric awakening that she had while trying to manage the Kinky Salon sex party. Thanks to Kinky Salon photographer ToddHartmanPhoto.com for this photo! Plus, the big Valentine's Day Kinky Salon is coming up, the Sweetheart's Ball at their Misson Control headquarters Saturday, Fe

Has the say-anything 30-something grrl-power brunches of Sex in the City really come so far from the women's consciousness-raising circles that fueled the women's liberation movement of the 60's and 70's? Yes and no, especially Trannyshack's all-drag version at Rebel - with drag queens (some that were even born women), drag kings, and even raunchier more irreverent jokes than the HBO version. Heklina's Carrie Bradshaw is hilarious. Next-level ridiculous and absurd while still eerily recognisable as are the rest of the foursome: Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte. Trannyshack performs episodes of Sex in the City at Rebel in two shows every Wednesday night. Hilarious, saucy, and irreverent. Join me and my girls at opening night of Trannyshack's Sex in the City for giggles and even empowerminty strip-mining of dominant culture sexual foibles. Glorious fun and a great girl's night out even if you are not (always) a girl.

No matter where you are in your relationship there are simple tricks to make communication, collaboration, and trust easier and more automatic. Many of these ideas tap into scientific research on brain chemistry and the subconscious mind. You can make arguments more mutually helpful if you know how to deal with getting emotionally triggered. There are even body postures and subconscious cues to yourself and your partner that stimulate natural peace-making. What do you need to know about yourself and your partner so you can allow each other to cool off and reconnect? Relationship & sex educator Reid Mihalko, who is developing Relationship 10X, will exchange relationship ninja techniques with me on everything from beverages to body language. You can use these ideas to hack your relationship and facilitate deeper intimacy. With these relationship tools, you can navigate difficult conversations more smoothly and make even an argument productive and positive. 

Dr. Janelle Alex and Rob Alex have found that adding intention, awareness, and a belief in sacredness to their sex life has brought them not only increased intimacy and pleasure, they've experienced real-world benefits as well, opportunities and promotions that come to them like magic after they connect on the physical plane. What can you create with the powerful energy of sexuality? Healing, manifestation, or even if you just want to have fun and add a spark of adventure to your relationship, SexyChallenges.com has an intimate adventure or twelve for you. Rob and Janelle will describe several Sexy Challenges that they've tried, tested and laid out for you, and they'll tell the incredible story of what real magic sex brings to their lives. Not only is sex fun, but it can transcend what most people think is even possible. Dr. Janelle Alex will also tell us about InwardOasis.com, where she help women connect with their sacred selves so that they can fuel the rest of their lives with love and vitality. Rob &

We all have to survive the holiday season whether or not we get awarded a halo. Who sings xmas carols for the outcasts? Crackpot Crones Terry Baum and Carolyn Myers, who have done holiday sketch theater and improv for a combined 108 years. They celebrate feminism, political protest, social justice, and being different with laughter while claiming "crazy" and "crone," because surviving the perpetual witch hunt of patriarchy is nothing to hide. We'll sing along with the 12 Days of Family Insults, and certainly Moishe the Green-Nosed Herring will soon be your kids' favorite. Has anyone ever tried to get you to pretend or look different than you really are for a holiday dinner? "Bubbie and her Butch" tells the story of a lesbian couple, a Hanukkah party, and a ridiculously jangly pair of earrings. You will not believe the story the Virgin Mary (or should I say Version Mary) tells to her beloved acolyte in Russia or 1962, where Mary (and all religion) may be outlawed, but abortion is legal. Pussy Riot's "Punk Pray

How could you be so turned on and sensitive that your clitoris felt like a soccer ball? What are the effects of having a 3-minute orgasm every day? Hint: it's not losing sleep, you only have to wake 5 min earlier. How could menopause be PLEASURABLE? How can masturbation help you experience more pleasure with a partner? How can you get more experiences of sensuality simply by shifting your awareness? How can you fit a commitment to pleasure in your busy day? How would a daily commitment to pleasure expand your sense of relaxation? I'm on the 3-Day Sensuality Retreat with the sensual researchers of the Welcomed Consensus. We'll explore deliberate orgasm or "doing," a practice of focusing on the pleasurable sensations of the clit being stroked. Yvonne Wray of Menopause-Flashes.com will tell us how she transformed her experience of menopause from fear to fun by letting go and being presence in the moment. Daisy Meyer uses the power of friendship and masturbation to transform communication in a relationship in a p

You can join us now in the leather-scented midst of the Sexploration with Monika bondage dinner at supperclub. We'll speak with educator of adventurous sexuality Midori about her history with performance art, Italian Clowns, donuts with an especially messy surprise, and the Japanese art of flower arranging plus bondage. Then Midori will introduce us to blogger and sex-positive parent Lidia Anain who'll open our eyes about parenting strategies that consider consent and autonomy. How do you parent without "making" your kid do stuff, and how does that relate to creating consent culture? Burlesque dancer Dorian Faust describes pagan god Baphomet, who represents the duality of male and female... and why this deity often ended up looking like Satan. Then erotic piercing performer Lady Samar will tell us why she likes hanging from hooks in her flesh... even on TV in Norway. Thanks to the lovely Julia O Test for the photos from the bondage dinner! 

If you are gay, transgender, kinky, or any kind of black sheep sometimes there are Christmases that you make your own "intentional family" out of friends, roommates, and people that accept you the way you are. Heklina started the legendary drag show Trannyshack in San Francisco and for Christmas she's been taking Golden Girls episodes to the stage, the "girls" played by Drag Queens (men dressed like women) for some gender-bending, heart-warming, campy hilarity. What does family mean when you take the being-related part away? What's it like to be a drag queen? How do these ginormous guys become women? What's the most important part of your grooming arsenal as a drag performer? What if a person that was born a woman wants to be drag queen? Trannyshack's The Golden Girls: The Christmas Episodes 2012 is playing December 6th to the 30th at the Victoria Theater at Mission and 16th Streets. If your family thinks you're a freak, with whom do you spend your Christmas (and isn't it maybe better anyway to spend Xmas wit

You can join us right now at the big sexY costume party Masquerotica where thousands of people are saying yes to what they think is fun, and consent is the new sexy (not that consent ever goes out of style;). We'll interview SF's sex-positive glitterati, a latex snow leopard, vampire food, and erotic electrifier, the leader of the apocalypse army, and a very kinky clown about how knowing that you can say no, makes it save for you to say yes, to all sorts of experiences and pleasures and sexy moments that we'd like to share with you live, on-location from Masquerotica 2012. From Barron Scott Levkoff to Kracker the Klown, and plenty of sights, sounds, and sensations in between we'll talk about consent and exploration up one side and down the other all over this party. Plus we'll learn how electricity on skin can actually relax and excite some people so much that they have 4 orgasms (with their clothes on & not even touching any "naughty" bits!) Violet Wand virtuoso William from Bondage-A-Go-Go will reveal s

You can hunt sexperts with me at Masquerotica! At's SF's biggest sexY party, we'll learn the secrets of animal play, why this beautiful woman likes pain, and mmmoore, but first, as a little tease (the rest of the interviews are yet to come) join me and Sacred Courtesan School and Knights of Eros founder Francesca Gentille for a surprisingly simple way to end the battle of the sexes. Have you experienced the cold shoulder or an overly pushy person? We'll talk about how you can find common ground, how to drop in to the present with a stranger, how our most common wounds create an extended drama between the sexes, and how to connect past them. Also, how you can create juicy energy and attract people to you! Where does juicy energy come from?