Beth & Meg &...

Ho ho ho (WHAT'D YOU CALL US?!?!), and Merry, Happy, whatever it is you do or do not celebrate this time of year. We discuss a few things that appear on either Santa's naughty or nice list - things such as surgery-inducing tacos, the ethics of Amazon Prime,  and the tyranny of teacher gifts. Also, why Bethany is afraid to open her gift from her daughter, why microphones should have a restraining order against Matt Damon, and why Broadway is causing us to lose sleep. Lastly, when movie franchises break up their leads, when five year olds take the law into their own hands, why anyone chooses to be a confederate in Civil War reenactments, and crazy Christmas music. #chicostacos #amazonprime #knowyourplace #netneutrality #theoffice #netflix #kingkong #bradpitt #loveneverdiesunlessweneedasequel #thegrinch #minihandcuffs #phasersonbuckshot #foodismylovelanguage 

Apparently we've ruffled some feathers, but what else is new? This week we prove how cultured we are as we discuss our literary peers and Megan shows off her command of useless languages. We clue you in on the rules of Mormon cussing, why for her safety Bethany should save all the bubble wrap she is getting from Amazon, and what Kiwi(?) motorcycle-riding 80's heartthrob we have spent far too much time imitating.  Also, we discover our Dad's spirit animal.  #simpatico #rossandrachel #nilesanddaphne #stevegoodenburg #Lobo #spuritsforthespurits #secretsanda #highclassfilth #wordswithfriends #playingwiththeboys #newfoundland #IwanttoKABOOMit #JesusDonttakethewheel #bolognabuns #madebymikey #trulyoutrageous #warmkoolaid #depechemode #gnr #anncurry #loboslaw #23andme #comeonLapland #Elijahspromise  

A very Happy THANKSGIVING to all of you! If you are looking for topics to fight over with your crazy relatives whilst picking at a wishbone - look no further! We talk clashes of idiot titans, what first base really means, and imagine what kind of food truck Will Smith would roll up in.  Also, unfortunate last names, unfortunate (?) mascot names, and unfortunate costume choices. And we teach you the exact formula for getting out of legal trouble without the need to pay for an attorney. Trust us, it's a gas. #eattrumpsgold #shadowsandcontours #chefjeff #gofightingphoenixes #themichelobofchampagnes #strangerthings2 #feedmeggie #kegelit #pleadthefifth #silentbutviolent #theforceisstrongwiththisone #runfortheborder #squeezethecheese #leatherseats  

It's been awhile but we're back, baby! If you've been missing conversations about medieval wildcats, intercontinental musical theater challenges, and casting changes at "The Phantom of the Opera" you are in luck. We talk efficiency vs. romance, how Michael Flatley should be known as the Lord of the Gridiron, and why 90's flashes in the pan might want to avoid Montreal.  #macbeth #calahanautoparts #chapter7 #idliketothanktheacademy #takemetothegoodpart #condorman #thisisunseemly #cubangoddess

Yes, it appears we are victims of our own success as we ponder the wisdom of Marilyn Monroe with regards to Harvey Weinstein, debate the singular/plural state of the word pant(s), and weep over inappropriate Halloween costumes. Listen as we describe Megan's hidden talent, rail against kids these days, and finish by fully embracing our old lady cards by shaking our canes against the government. #comebackShane #namenames #projectrunway #niblets #getponed #lunchladyland #loveisglutenfree #shutitdown #brownielovin #allyouneedisloveandoatmealandraisins #strangerthings  #ustoo  

We are in full on 'jama day mood, since nothing in the world seems to be able to convince us to put on pants right now. Yes, we talk some of the tough stuff of this week, but then we get onto topics that make us happy to be members of the human race. Hear us talk about the greatest first date story of all time, why the Department of Homeland Security has it's eye on Megan's house, and her channelling of Dr. Ian Malcom in a way even Goldblum can't achieve.  We tell the secret to the best halloween ever, how movies change when you get a mortgage, and pop culture that will depress the heck out of you. #cavemarket #LVStrong #rocketmanbooyah #glibbest #NFL #postsecret #firstamendment #willandgrace #number2earlytotell #ladyofthelake #sciencewins #jurassicpark #getoveryourselfbelle #marytoddshecray #kohls

We know, we know, we've been gone a long time, but we are back and stronger than ever! Yes, we say goodbye to summer and one of us gets to say hello to autumn. We discover why Canadians are just a happier people, why Taylor Swift is not, and why everyone at Wal-mart should be afraid... very afraid.  Also, why you should be concerned if an elderly Scotsman asks if you'd like to see his haggis, why we are sick of Kate Middleton, and how to start off your marriage with a RIDICULOUS amount of pressure. Lastly, we discuss how teeth capping makes the multi-million dollar man and dream of the day when the all female version of "Delta Force" becomes a reality. #flintandsteel #sweaterweather #itsadryheat #fatcorner #teammaple #lifegoal #kimandkanyearetherationalones #igottarapaboutit #popgoesmyheart #amazonprimethatmess  #everydayimshuffling #ROI #equallyyoked #worksmartnothard #vivelefrance #GBBO #findyourownthingMako #tomcruisesteeth #literally #mermanpop 

Are Cactus Coolers as good as we remember them? How about Pizzeria chips? These are the questions that plague as us as discuss meeting your 90's food heroes. Also, the indescribable joy of a book order form, why you might want to hire us for your next soiree, and why the upcoming eclipse will be the most patriotic ever. Also, bad marketing stunts, why we won't be moving to San Francisco anytime soon, and the real reason  Megan beat breast cancer. #pepperidgefarm #andyserkisneedsanOscar #somethingisrotteninthestateofDenmark #doucheydane #lifetimehallpass #warfortheplanetoftheapes #dunkirk

Listen as we regale you with tales of the odor-rific vacation from which we just returned (Scentsy, have we got an idea for you!), discuss why we now want to see Ryan Lochte race a shark, and mull over a career opportunity we had never before considered. Also, disappointing cameos, when wedding dances almost kill, and then discuss the classic book and film The Outsiders. SPOILERS AHEAD!!! #bearlake #WEWANTLOCHTE #poundofflesh #sallystrutherstaughtmetv/vcrrepair #theoutsiders #squatchwatch #getthefunkoff  #staygold  

Happy Independence Week! This week we talk serious lapses in history studies, the dark underbelly of our nation's retirement villages (looks like Tim Riggins has a long career ahead of him), and search desperately for some moral high ground. Then we go "Beautiful Mind" on TV conspiracy theories before finally dissecting one of the greatest movies we had taped on VHS when we were kids - TEEN WOLF! #classof94 #theslowandthefurious #racingforpapes #bullrunanddone #TRUUUUMP #breakingnews #itsEnricoPalazzo #ImaPoopBoof #keezewheeze  #bringthecoolfactorto11 #teenwolf #michaeljfox

If you are looking for an in-depth and mature discussion regarding world events, you are going to be HIGHLY disappointed this week as we descend into madness whilst discussing whether Han Solo will be more like Han No-Go, what career advice we are qualified to give Tom Cruise, and the job that even Mrs Doubtfire might balk at. Most importantly, rise up and join us as we rebel against lifestyle blogs to create a movement that will change the world. Or won't. Depends on if we feel like showering today or not. #gotothestage #jestersdead #greathonk #gotoOregon #wearepartoftheproblem #thepooplifestyle #joiedesweatpants #allthesauces #chickfila #littledebbie #poundtryst #joinus #pearshapedscheme #empathizers #boinkit #thetruthisoutthere #outlander #hecanjacobitemeanytime  

May the Lord open our mouths as we discuss the phenomenon of Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale" and decide which color dress we would be assigned. Before we do that, though, we talk the upcoming even golder (shut up about our grammar) era of television which, funnily enough, resembles a lot of old television, what you will not see us demonstrate in a Facebook Live session,  and the true meaning of the Fourth of July. #beachywaves #stepintime #MaryPoppins #400Whatever #deppedout #thehandmaidstale #margaretatwood #dontevencallmeJoe #wearetheSugarbakersisters #itsallaboutthemoney #HAPPYBIRTHDAYSHANE  

This week we discuss the fact that Megan is plus-sized (in an iPhone, that is), what showing of Wonder Woman Frederick Douglass would attend, and the anatomic hurdles of the male romper. Also, when it's good to mine the 80s/90s for remakes and when IT IS NOT, why we are now concerned for la Republique Francaise, and why we will now require a waiver should we ever enter the dating pool again. Lastly, we play a round of Loaded Questions where you get to see just how nerdy Bethany can be.  #keepBabyinthecorner #orchardpeach #wehaveaDickies #WeAllLose #justsingthedangsong

We are back for the second half of our look at the three act play that is M. Night Shyalaman's career. In this episode we discuss the lean years and what we hope is the triumphant return of one of the true mavericks in Hollywood. We talk about how a Hemsworth brother or two might have saved Paul Giamatti from having to clean the pool as much, who'd Simon want to be stuck in space with (his pressure suit wouldn't impress her much), and our shared love of the great Shakespearean, John Leguizamo. Also, the Asian-ness of Emma Stone, when the MIB when to space, and why Yahtzee gets Simon all worked up. #yahtzee #adultdiapers  #JenniferBerkeleyForPresident  #textdontcall #mnightshyalaman

Little brother Simon joins us for a night of ups and downs and eventual ups again as we discuss the fascinating career of the modern day Hitchcock, M. Night Shyamalan. Before that, though, we talk embarrassing moments at couples' game nights, the tyranny of Olan Mills studios in the 90's, and what Simon's body has in common with the Grand Canyon.  #SceneIt #CarryingTheBanner #Newsies #WhatColorAreYou #ShowUsYourOlanMills #MNightShyalaman

Yes, we are back and it is time to have a good gab to see what has been going on in each other's lives and in the world in general. Discover what Megan has in common with Helen Mirren (I mean, what doesn't she?), where Bethany found a glimpse of Heaven (it involves men offering her doughnuts, surprise, surprise), and who it is that feels we owe him an apology (FROM OUR COLD, DEAD HANDS). Also, how France now has the Frenchest French president in French history, Megan buzzes on John Lithgow, and Bethany waxes latin on the intimate lives of dinosaurs. #NobodyPutsErinInABucket #TheChocolateKebabHouse #BoyishGoodLooks #IAmMoana

Yet again, we delve into the Shusaku Endo’s "Silence" and wrestle with theological dilemmas WAY ABOVE OUR PAYGRADE. Yes, stumble along with us as we also wrestle with what actor Erin needs as her TA to guide her through the tricky world of Victorian literature (hint hint, it rhymes with Fichael Massbender), how you know you can trust any Wikipedia page to which we refer, and we get into an English Lit throw-down to beat the one man band.

We are finally doing it! Yes, this week we discuss the amazing book, Silence by Shusaku Endo as well as its recent film adaptation by Martin Scorsese. We are blessed with the presence of the brilliant Erin Dickey as two Mormons and an Agnostic discuss 17th Century Japanese Catholicism. (As Erin states and as we really should have as the tagline for the show, "Let's just assume we're going to screw this up"). First, though, we talk adventures in secondary teaching, what we probably should have been doing instead of calculus with those fancy calculators mom and dad shelled out half our college fund for, and what is going to drive Erin back into the lover's clingy embrace of Hulu.

Yes, we are punting yet again and have decided to put off our "Silence" discussion for another week in order to talk only of things lovely and frothy. The order of the day is "Hakuna Matata" as we talk getting buffed whilst in the buff, our roles as trophy wives, and how nostalgic we get over warm lemonade. Also, art which could be considered "fra-gee-lay", we set US/Dutch relations back to the days of New Amsterdam, and FINALLY use the phrase "a taco-based lifestyle".

We know, we know, you've waited a long time for it, but we are finally here with the second half of our favorite weepie movies. BIG OLE' SPOILER ALERT - there are a lot of spoilers in this episode! Don't let that keep you from checking out these flicks, especially if you just need to be reduced to a puddle for a bit.