Rum Doings

In our first Rum Doings of 2010, we don't discuss whatever happened to Britain's supplies of salt. Enjoying a cocktail known as A Snowball For The Year 2000, we begin with an excellent description of Nick from a listener, that sets us off onto a discussion of alternative ways of pronouncing words, and the definition of "enormity", and why using Windows is like being a tourist in Egypt. Then, as was perhaps somewhat inevitable, there's discussion of the weather. And weather forecasting. We're enormously right.

In Episode 9 of Rum Doings the topic not under discussion is whether it's time we stopped funding the NHS. The topic under discussion is Neighbours. And that's almost it. No, come back! A Neighbours edition of Rum Doings was inevitable from the moment Nick first said, "Let's record a podcast because I want to see how difficult it is to be good." Neighbours - the Australian soap opera - has been something that has fascinated both of us since we've known each other - around fourteen years. Although neither of us have watched it for about six or seven.

In the triumphant return of Rum Doings, delayed by a while by the birth of Nick's daughter, Judith, we celebrate with the consumption of an Asda Smart Price meal. And indeed the possible consumption to follow. This feast begins with a bowl of Asda Smart Price chicken curry, washed down with Asda Smart Price Dark Rum, with Asda Smart Price Chocolate Mousse to follow. Not discussed in the episode is John and Edward, whatever that might be, with instead the meandering topics covering Judith's arrival, talking with our mouths full, and then alittlebitofpoliticsladiesandgentlemen.

In episode 7 of Rum Doings the topic not under discussion is how we can fix Broken Britain. More readily discussed are John's inability to sing and Nick's desperate need to hear it, the scandalous gossip regarding John's sexual impropriety with Nick's wife, and the terrifying contents of some Super-8 film. And that's in the first five minutes.

In episode 6 of Rum Doings the topic not under discussion is what we can do about the dumbing down of British culture. Instead we primarily discuss sitcoms - so much so it becomes dangerously close to being a theme. There's thoughts on what the UK and US sitcoms have in common, and indeed what they do not. Along the way we consider the anti-Semitism of Shakespeare, why Stephanie Cole grew into the wrong old lady (and is brilliant), and why you should never shh a pregnant lady. This, as you'd expect, brings us to our plans for scientific experiments on all 3.5 billion of Earth's women.

In Episode 5 of Rum Doings not under discussion is whether we should bring back conscription for unruly teens. More discussed are matters of repetition, the changing face of the cinemas, and we respond to a complaint regarding our being rude to Phil Collins. There's discussion of how a splendid friend of ours changed his mind about the ownership of music, and thoughts on the potential for democratising paying for music. We bring up another rule to join Episode Four's, the No False Modesty Rule. Which leads naturally to the moral implications of teleporting clones. And the likelihood of coincidence. And of course cream teas. It's probably safe to say that this is the first of the Rum Doings where the doings of rum played an effect toward the end.

A new Rum Doings, and it comes with a warning: Nick Mailer is a very, very bad man. What should have been a perfectly nice discussion of interesting matters descends into an explosion of libel and offense. I can only apologise, hold my head in my hands, and beg for your forgiveness.

John and Nick gather once more, presenting their newly learned commercial radio voices, as the nation prefers. The topic not under discussion in this episode is: Are Exams Getting Easier.

This week the topic not under discussion for Nick and John is "Whatever happened to good old fashioned manners?" What is instead discussed includes puns in other languages, the horrible quality of commercial radio, extensive discussions of the tricks behind homeopathy, and can you be proud of collectives?

Nick and John talk nonsense for the first time, interrupted only by a fruitless search for rum. The topic to avoid this week was Claire Fox on the Moral Maze. Nick wanted to do this podcast in order not to talk about video games. Suffice to say, Star Glider gets more than a mention.