Don Woods

The floods have been horrendous down south….I have never seen anything like it….coastlines washed away taking railway lines and houses with them…so sad for the poor folk who have lost everything…the government have decided to take action and said it will cost 20 million to sort things out (so someone is due to make 20 million)…there was a guy in the North East who solves the problem there by utilising tree trunks and branches to slow down the flow of rivers…successfully…they asked him how much he thought he would be able to solve the problem down south …have a guess….200 thousand… .Let’s all scare the life out of everyone with EXPLODING BATTERIES !!...yes a couple of modern batteries have gone bang in the WORLD so the media are straight on to it…”It could cause plane crashes…it could blow your hand off …etc”….then we see an experiment where a laptop battery is blown to pieces….so DON’T buy counterfeit batteries !!!....I wonder if the manufacturers of the originals have anything to do with this…losing a bit of

Don told me, " I watched Benidorm this week to see if there was any improvement…absolute rubbish…badly written with a collection of mismatched characters who can’t act…with a string of unfunny jokes and a helping of bad taste…plus an appearance by Mathew Kelly to add to the trash….ITV have hit rock bottom with this one. The BBC are a bit worried about their viewers using modern technology to watch their programmes on I Player…because apparently the licence fee only applies to LIVE tele….so when you watch recorded stuff you may not need a licence….I’ve always said the Beeb want sorting out…they have just abandoned a set up which was to involve a “digital storer” designed to store thousands of programmes…it failed…it cost 20 million quid…which has now gone down the drain…nice to know where our licence fee goes. .I watched the Paul and Ringo get together on the Grammy Awards…I must say they both looked good…I’m going to invest in whatever make-up they were using….I thought Katy Perry was quality as she was bu

Big outcry from the road safety campaigners about a Wetherspoons pub they are building at one of the motorway service stations…I would doubt if it’s any campaigners – more the rip off motorway services who charge extortionate prices for their second rate food…bit of competition eh?...at last a bit of value on the motorways……they come up with nonsense like “It will encourage drink driving”…what a load of twaddle….they also sell coffee as well as good value food…..if drivers want to drink all they have to do is pull off the motorway and drive a few hundred yards. I wish these so called organisations would stop telling us what we can and can’t do !!!! I would like to congratulate the TV channels for managing to have absolutely NOTHING worth watching last Tuesday…that is unless you want to watch some overweight blobbys attempting to lose a bit of blubber…no thanks…….oh yes and Coronation Street which made the headline news with one of the characters dying…real cheerful stuff…and people think it’s REAL…..a sad

I’ve been in the Lake District this week doing a bit of walking….on the Sunday we went around Silverdale…on the Monday a car was hit by a train on a level crossing…in Silverdale…the crossing we had been over the day before….I know the area well and have always thought the crossing was a bit dodgy…so there you are I was right. 2.We have been informed that MP’s have their portraits up in Parliament…paintings which cost 12 grand a time….which begs the question why paintings?...why not photographs?...or indeed why any picture at all as NONE of them are worth looking at……I wonder if they pay for the work themselves…I am joking of course…nice to know where my taxes go. 3.The trials of Dave Lee Travis,Rolph Harris and Bill Roache have been all over the news….women who have suddenly remembered that they were indecently assaulted 50 years ago…whatever the outcome these guys are finished…the media have seen to that….nothing should be reported until there is a final decision…it’s a disgrace….remember Gerri Halliwell

The government have announced there will be major cuts in legal aid…which has resulted in a mini “strike” by solicitors….they say it will reduce their clientele…thus losing money. I think these guys should compare their hourly rate to that of a council worker or shop assistant…..how will they survive without their brand new BMs and Mercedes every year?...I feel so sorry for them. A pal of mine went on jury duty and said it was a farce…nobody on the panel,including the chairman,had a clue about the law…they were judging people by how they looked. I’ve never been able to grasp the jury system…they should consist of intelligent educated people with a good knowledge of the law…SOLICITORS FOR EXAMPLE…there you are I’ve found jobs for them. There is a big thing at the moment regarding cyber bullying….youngsters are getting threatened on twitter etc….now I know I am from the 50’s but isn’t the answer to not read the tweets?...or is that too simple. It strikes me that anyone who makes threats on the social media

We are bracing ourselves for the next storms and high tides…you watch the tele and you’d think this had never happened before….talk about scare mongering…80 mile an hour gales forecast here for Friday morning….I had 18 holes of golf in a bit of a breeze…Because of the bad weather down south there have been power cuts leaving folk with no electricity over Christmas and the power companies have come under heavy criticism…,because they took so long to get the power back on….now I don’t know enough about the situation but I would have thought it’s the fault of the weather…which no-one has any control over…but I suppose in true British style SOMEONE has be blamed. .I am getting rather miffed at modern American films with dialogue which is impossible to decipher…the trend seem to be to deliver the script with a whispering growl…you turn the sound up and then the music blows you out of the room…will SOMEBODY teach the Americans how to act and ENUNCIATE !!!!......I watched a film called “Shooter” with Mark Whalberg…

We have had some horrific storms … mostly down south…poor folk flooded out as the torrential rain burst river banks…I don’t know how these people can get insurance..let alone sell up. We haven’t had it too bad here…but I went on line to insure my house and one on the questions was “do you live within half a mile from a river…if so we wont insure you”…bad news. The damage at New Brighton after the recent high tides has been sorted…I went down there on my bike on Xmas morning (bit of pre dinner exercise) …there weren’t many takers…probably because it was very cold…but everything looks O.K…..until the next high tide and 60mph gale. What I will NEVER understand is the mass panic to the build up to ONE day….I went into TESCOS to buy a jack plug (£2.50)…I couldn’t get out…there were raving loonies at the checkout with trolleys piled to the ceiling….it’s like a disease…and as for the boxing day sales….unbelievable…we are a sad lot really. 4.I don’t gig a lot these days…so I can relax up to Xmas without worr

Don told me, "We have had some incredible storms here over the past few weeks….on the Wirral Peninsula where I live there is a place called New Brighton which is on the coast and it has just been rebuilt after previous storm damage….so what have they built …cafes and huge department stores…which all got flooded out…..in 1979 the same thing happened…the tide destroyed a ballroom (which was attached to New Brighton Baths)…I know…because my band were playing there on that night…it needs a bit more sea defences because it will happen again… Stonehenge has had a facelift….you could drive past up until recently but not any more….they have taken down the small visitor centre and replaced it with a fancy new one…at a cost of …wait for it 27 million pounds!!.......I don’t know how these people arrive at these figures…it’s a bunch of rocks for goodness sake…but no doubt someone will be making a load of money. Our MPs have come under some criticism regarding “signing in” to Parliament…apparently if they “sign in” th

With wonderful timing the Government MPs have been awarded an 11% rise in their salaries…taking them to over 74 grand a year. This is when everyone else has to accept 1%....but it has been said that this brings them in line with surgeons and doctors etc… Soon we will not have to get a tax disc for our cars….we do it online and go on record….now this will be great for our older citizens who can’t even switch on a computer…and for the traffic wardens who will have to check with the central set up set up to see if cars are taxed…I’m wondering why?...ah well they must know what they are doing…I suppose….sounds like another disaster to me. Football is under scrutiny after a few lower league guys have been accuse of match fixing…it’s a disgrace….pure greed…they should be banned for life.On the subject of football John Terry was seen in Poundworld buying his wrapping paper and crisps….he’s on 170 grand a week…which shows you can take the man out of Poundworld but.... …there is a move afoot to do away with FM

We are now out of the top 20 when it comes to children’s education…which is hardly surprising considering the country is run by morons…..the teachers are on a hiding to nothing these days…it needs a qualified teacher to get into the government and run the system instead of the chinless wonder we are stuck with…..a coach of a young village football team has got the sack for telling the kids he has no time for losers…only winning will do !!!....OH this caused a major outcry from the parents…we can’t have winners and losers…EVERYONE must be the same…no wonder it’s difficult to find an English footballer in the Premiership. The panto dame will soon be a thing of the past…because a bloke dressing as a woman is not PC….I’ve heard it all now….and as for the principle boy…what are the dads supposed to watch if she goes?…..a principle boy slapping a long shapely leg…Yes Please !!!! The latest thing from the police is to shop anyone who you think is over the limit…even your own mates…and if they get a prosecution y

The news has been full of this Scottish independence thing…what is it with people these days…we are a small island…LET’S GET ON WITH EACH OTHER!!...O.K. the English once marched on Scotland…and Wales…and Ireland…I’M SORRY!!! But I WASN’T AROUND AT THE TIME!!!...Get over it….I have absolutely nothing against my fellow countrymen but when I wander into the odd pub in Wales I get the feeling I am an illegal alien. It all seems like one way traffic…it’s always the English who are the bad guys. The Scots want to go it alone BUT keep the Bank of England…and the Queen etc…come on guys give us a break….if they get this it will be their biggest mistake I feel. I also get a bit annoyed at the rugby and football events when Wales Scotland and Ireland sing their own anthem…and we sing the NATIONAL one….which is also theirs….I think we should sing Land of Hope and Glory….or even better Googi The Liverpool Duck? ”I’m a celebrity get me out of here” is on tele EVERY night…with Ant and Dec trying to convince us that i

Hull will be the 2017 capital of culture….I am pleased for them because the city has taken some stick over the years….getting this status made a huge difference to Liverpool…it is now a fantastic place to visit and brings in thousands of tourists….last Monday my wife and I decided to jump on the ferry boat and take a look around the Museum of Life on Pierhead…first off the boat takes you up river with a fascinating commentary on the history of the area then pulls in at the new landing stage at Pierhead. To say the Museum is stunning is an understatement…wonderful…and FREE!!!......it shows the history of the city from the word go…on three floors…fantastic. Ken Dodd has a small section dedicated to him at the museum….when you consider how much this guy has put into showbiz and how popular he STILL is and yet he has not got a knighthood…makes you wonder …especially when you think of SIR Terry Wogan and..dare I say it…..SIR Jimmy Savile… I caught up on the bit of Children in Need programme I missed last Frida

Terrible situation in The Phillipines… these things make me so angry…..there are Sheiks with billions …greedy bankers with billions…footballers with billions….how about them putting up the money to build these people shelters BEFORE the event…they wouldn’t even miss the money…this should all be sorted beforehand ….we know it’s coming … but oh no ordinary folk must get involved…we can’t have these “princes” doing without the odd solid gold Rolls Royce….and Beckham has just moved into his 40 million pound mansion…he’s also made an advert about his own brand of after shave…it’s a real throw up job. The Children In Need Appeal has been in full flight … with Terry Wogan at the helm…..WHY?....there are many top class young presenters out there so why do we have to constantly put up with Sir Terry with his unfunny quips looking totally ill at ease in the suit he has squeezed into….I’ve always failed to see what it is about Wogan…totally talentless as far as I’m concerned…call it a day Tel and give us all a break

Energy bills which are set to go up here…good old Ed Milliband announced if he gets in he will freeze them….so guess what .. up they go.I wish someone would give us a breakdown on where the money goes…everyone seem to blame everyone else….and they have announced that only about 10% of people shop around to find cheaper tariffs….but it’s so complicated I’m not surprised. On a similar subject…I took out insurance last year to cover the underground pipes from the road to my house…as they are not covered under the house insurance…it was £39 which I thought was worthwhile…especially if they have to dig my path up….I’ve just had a renewal reminder…£73…..SO I rang them up and asked them why it had gone up…they came up with some nonsense so I told them I didn’t want to renew…..”OH…what if we knock off £7 ?”…”No Thanks”…”How about £15 ?”….”No thanks…keep going”….”The best we can do is £22 which will make the renewal £51 ?”…I agreed to this…what can I say…is it me or is the world going nuts? We talked about the wonde

Don chatted about Real Ale this morning and confessed to not being the biggest fan of the potent beers brewed by those chaps at the Real Ale Festival. We disussed whether there is a type of aficionado and you must listen for our conclusions. Don told me about an 80 year old man who works as a guide for the treacherous currents in Morecambe Bay. You might remember a dreadful event when many Chinese Cockle pickers were drowned. The man works for the princely sum of 15 pounds.......Elsewhere Don told me about an association for friends who fought together in the World War and now are involved in other things.

Don came back from the Lakes last week and had to go straight out to Anglesey to sort my caravan out ready to be stored for the winter….stayed a few days and the weather was fabulous….23 degrees and clear blue skies…went for a walk along Rhosneigr beach and never saw a soul….there was no wind and there was absolute silence except for the breaking waves…doesn’t get any better than that. So it’s bye bye to the Island til next April….but I do love Autumn…my favourite season. A bit of sad news…Jackie Lomax (ex Undertakers) has recently died…..Jackie moved to America and worked with George Harrison and many top bands…he was great guy and each time he came over from the States he would appear at our weekly Cheshire Cats bash with Geoff Nugent and Brian “Saxophone” Jones….he went to our school and was a great lad…he’ll be sadly missed. Also another local musician has also passed on…Tommy Hughes who was the original singer in The Swinging Blue Jeans….and was one of The Kansas City Five….he was a good pal of min

Michael Lavelle has won his case…..great news…..but what will he get for the two years trauma…probably nothing……and I suppose the accuser will get off scot free. As we have been saying the police reckon there isn’t a witch hunt going on….not much….anyway nice to see a bit of justice. It has been announced that CASSETTES are making a comeback…Hmm…sounds to me like the record companies are trying to get rid of there obsolete stocks…tell me about it…I’ve got a garage full. There is no way they can come back … you can’t compare a cassette to a CD…however I was very surprised that mini disc didn’t take over the world…they are brilliant. There are a lot of programmes on the tele about “Rogue Traders”…and “Rogue Builders”…with Ester Rantzen and a couple of cronies playing God and Dom Littlewood playing the tough guy with various traders...I would like to see him try it without a camera crew and no doubt a couple of security guys….having dealt with a multitude of traders in my old job I found 99% of them fine…and

Derby County Football Club are handing out free “E” cigarettes to their fans - designed to prevent youngsters starting to smoke….I’m not quite sure how they work this one out….I don’t know much about these electronic ciggies but I do know they are expensive and they contain nicotine…seem a strange exercise to me. Sad to hear of the recent death of the Disc Jockey/Broadcaster, David Jacobs….he’s been around virtually all my life…I remember him in “Journey Into Space” on the wireless in the early 50’…..half seven to eight…Monday nights…I could stay up for that one….then there was Juke Box Jury etc…..we are all getting old. ”Kilroy was here” was an expression which was written everywhere during the war….I read an article on who he actually was….his name was James Kilroy from Massachusetts and apparently he worked in an aircraft factory and checked that the correct amount of bolts were put in place…he would do this by initialling the job…but the workers used to rub out the initials and get them checked again

…some bright spark in the Government has decided we all drink to much and it is effecting our health…so that’s alright then….he is suggesting wine companies make their wine with a lower percentage of alcohol…oh yeah…that’s a good idea…..personally I only drink wine I like and I don’t need any politician telling me what to do thank you. It was even suggested that they make wine with the same alcohol level as beer….which means we’ll drink it in pint glasses…I wish these attention seeking MPs would get real. Train fares are going to rocket which has upset a lot of people…..one girl on the tele said she pays 5 grand for a season ticket to get her to work each day…which means she works 3 months to pay the train fare…good stuff eh?....In the next breath they are telling us that billions will be spent on a superfast service from Manchester….which we don’t need…..I’d love to know where all this money is coming from. Never heard any more about the 12 billion a year we send to aid the poor countries who are trying