This Week In Despair With Peter-john Byrnes

Never has our show's title been more appropriate as on this episode, recorded the day after the Sandy Hook Elementary School gun massacre. Andy Fleming and Emily Lake endure the blast of the angriest opening monologue ever recorded on the show, then help me dissect the arguments that allow these events to happen. And then the episode takes a bizarre and clearly self-medicating detour into Smut Town, as we abandon our contemplation of these horrible events by compulsively telling funny sex jokes. The jokes catch in the throat, and the laughter's on the edge of tears. It's the most Freudian episode so far, and if you want documentary evidence of the therapeutic effect of laugher, this is the one for you. 

The first of two episodes where our gun culture is discussed, this episode was recorded immediately prior to the Sandy Hook massacre. Anthony McBrien and Nate Simmons join me for a conversation heavy with historic irony as we discuss the gun culture as it relates to the NFL, but also covers Katt Williams's reign of terror in Seattle, the Pope joining Twitter, and a surprising amount of personal hygiene habits. Anthony tells of his surreal experience watching Lincoln. Nate gives us his history of concussions. I mispronounce a name to the delight of my guests.

Hostess has filed for bankuptcy, Twinkie speculation is running rampant, and Stephanie Hasz and Danny Kallas join me to make sense of it all. On a very food-oriented episode, we cover Danny's love for Olive Garden, Stephanie's dislike of sweets, and my knowledge of kosher Dunkin' Donuts in the area. Stephanie quizzes me about my high school fashion choices, and reveals the only two books she was required to read in high school. Danny gives tips on eating for free. It's all very educational.

There was a Presidential election this week, but there were far more weightier matters at hand, like the premiere of a new James Bond movie. Ian Fleming expert Rachel Baron Singer and Ian Fleming novice Henry Birdseye III join me for an in-depth discussion of Bond movies past and present. Rachel and I debate the Best Theme Song, Best Title Sequence, and of course, who the best Bond is. Hint: not Roger Moore.

Drew Michael and I don't agree on much, politically, but we do agree that we like our periodic spirited discussions, and one another. He joins me for what turns out to be an audio version of My Dinner with Andre, with beastiality jokes. This Very Special Episode is being released deliberately with almost none of my usual editing, to avoid any temptation to tip the scales.

And sometimes, you just want to take a break from news and politics and talk about the movies with your friends. The utterly charming Rhea Butcher returns, accompanied by the no-less-charming Cameron Esposito, to talk about the recent DVD releases The Avengers, Prometheus, and The Dark Knight Rises. But we also range far and wide, discussing Thelma and Louise, Robocop, Basic Instinct, and Total Recall. Cameron defends Showgirls. Rhea and Cameron both describe hot background extra action in Cruising. Siskel and Ebert it ain't, folks.

Ted Alexandro and Adam Burke are in the studio with me for a surprisingly serious and considered discussion of what gets left out of our national political discourse. I make an argument for mob violence against Wall Street executives. Adam tells us about The Scottish Streaker. Ted explains how thorough the corruption is, and how difficult it is to escape. The show lives up to its title this time around.

My sister Jessica Byrnes makes a return appearance, accompanied by local man-about-town Brian Wille. The VP debate is quickly discussed and dismissed in favor of Lance Armstrong's testicle, a murder-castration in New York, and the linking of Laura Ingalls Wilder and Flowers in the Attic. Jessica won't stop talking about Danish penises. Mice are disparaged. Iowa is praised.

The dismal first Presidential Debate sends regular guest James Fritz and me into a spiral from which we self-medicate by discussing Texas spanking rules, horse sex, and Koren eunuchs. Maggie Ednie comes along for the ride and shares her disdain for media-baiting scientific studies. James reveals the name of his next podcast. Maggie reveals her favorite superhero. Our Finnish fanbase is repeatedly addressed. This is a very silly episode.

On this episode Andy Fleming and Natalie Jose join me for a particularly biological discussion. Boobs of the Hooters and Kate Middleton variety make an appearance, so to speak, and we wind up the episode sharing childbirth stories. My prostate makes a special guest appearance. Natalie details her unusual work history, and Andy pulls a surprise out of his backpack. Snakes are discussed at some length.

Ever Mainard joins me for a wide-ranging discussion which encompasses the Chicago teacher's strike, anti-Muslim YouTube videos, crime in the streets, and the evil of Frappucinos. Ever explains the aesthetics of decorative cow skulls. I'm generally cranky about things.

New guest Rebecca O'Neal and returning champion Sonia Denis join me on this episode to discuss the 2012 political conventions, racists in denial, and the South Side of Chicago. Sonia reveals how you get on her blacklist. Rebecca explains how exhaustion trumps her sense of offense. I tell the story of the time I was booed and hissed by an audience with my wife in attendance. It's the episode with our most optimistic ending yet.

This episode was recorded on my birthday, and what greater cause for despair is that? Our National Bigfoot Correspondent Jason Earl Folks turns his expert eye to the latest sighting video emerging from Ohio, and Katie McVay joins us because one loud guest isn't enough. Atrocities discussed include anal tattos, Dungeons and Dragons groups who use Star Wars characters, major newsweeklies which no longer fact-check, and Todd Akin.

Adam Burke and Dan Telfer join me for a discussion of science, Mars, Wikileaks and Julian Assange, Sally Ride, and our military-industrial complex. Dan tells a story of terror from 1998. Adam is angry about Pussy Riot. If you asked me what my ideal episode of this podcast would sound like when I first started, it would be a lot like this. My guests are smart, engaged, and disagree with me. I'm wrong a lot on this episode.

This episode's conversation with Stephanie Hasz and Sonia Denis starts with a discussion of newly-selected GOP VP candidate Paul Ryan, but then descends into talk of cheese curds, horrible spiders, scrubbing toilets without a brush, and ends with a cataloguing of the varieties of sexual aids available on the market. Stephanie really needs to wash her hands more. Sonia will never set foot in Wisconsin. I had dreams of high-minded discourse when I started this podcast. They're all ashes now.

On a week where The Olympics celebrated the pinnacle of human health and achivement and Chick-Fil-A served up homophobia on a bun, Bill Bullock and Cody Melcher stop by to help me make sense of it all. Cody displays both a rapier wit and an extensive knowledge of rapiers. Bill reveals his encyclopedic knowledge of statutory rape laws in Midwestern states. Indiana is repeatedly disparaged. This episode is brought to you by schadenfreude.

On a particularly despairing week, I am blessed to have  the sensible and reflective Dave Stinton. Topics include Fred Willard, and other movie-related atrocities. Dave unveils his vision of a world ruled by intelligent wombats. A personal letter from Barack Obama is discussed. I talk too much, to little avail.

A really fun episode in honor of Independence Day, where Civil War historian Bjorn Skaptason and man-about-town James Fritz discuss the past, the South and the hypocrisy of America. You know, the usual.

My heavily-medicated sister fills in as an emergency guest, and is funny enough that pain medication will be mandatory for all future guests. Kris Simmons sets a horrible precedent by arriving prepared with actual facts. Topics include the Supreme Court's decision on health care reform, Adele's pregnancy, and Mississippi abortions, but we end up spending the most time discussing strippers, foreign and domestic, literary and literal.

Robert Buscemi and Ever Mainard are my guests for the most unusual episode we've had so far. A discussion of women in comedy veers away from the week's news and into a discussion of bodily fluids you can find in a 24-hour coffee shop. It all ends with a conversation in which Robert gets me to discuss my personal feelings and my history, neither of which I'm the slightest bit comfortable in doing. This one gets pretty real, kids.