The Tom Barnard Show

Tom frequently bemoans Minnesota's corruption. Well guess what, it's been going on for over a hundred years. Doc Ames was born in 1842 and eventually became the mayor of Minneapolis. Then almost immediately he abused his position and fled the state. Some things never change. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mimal the elf is 500 miles tall and doesn't do much aside from fry chicken. Border collies are only 3 feet tall and they know how to operate a sled. That's because they score higher on the mental grit test or whatever. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are a lot of crabs, but like the jerks they are, they live in dangerous conditions. Still, they're tasty enough that some consider it worth the risk. Captain Colburn, for example. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Taxes, tariffs, and arsenic and rice. Not to mention mortality. We tackle all the grown-up topics in between prom and school dress codes. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim is live from wherever A Quiet Place takes place. Since he can't talk without alerting the monsters, we helpfully talk so much he doesn't have to. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

These clips absolutely did not see their shadow so don't try and put this weather on them! Since we're all stuck inside, might as well take a listen. Featuring: Louie Anderson, Tevin at a swingers party, and Doug Jones See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mothers everywhere, one of whom is Louie channeling his mother, are familiar with Angela's content. Blue's Clues was the origin of it all way back in 1998, the year before Louie was on Family Feud. It's like 6 degrees of separation but not. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The only comedy institution more respected than the Tom Barnard Show is Crash and Burn, and the two happen to have close ties. Euphemisms are also closely related to comedy, but it's getting harder to find ones that are both new and acceptable. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You know how Tom is used to being called racist and it doesn't bother him any more? After a while of him not being bothered, Rip segues the conversation into Boston and Bostonians. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bad news, Scarface fans. We've got a real Cuban mafia expert on and real life isn't quite as exciting. There was still plenty of drugs, money, and murder, but significantly fewer one-liners. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How many DUIs is too many? Trick question; there is no limit. Not in Minnesota anyway. Luckily, driving isn't the only thing people like to do while drinking. Golf has a long history with alcohol. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The world runs on oil. As such, there's a lot of money there. This brings up many questions, all of which Dr. Wald addresses, though not all questions have answers. For example: why do people love shouting into the void that is social media so much? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mass graves aren't the only way to make your burial interesting, although they certainly are the easiest. Burial mounds are a lot of work. Especially when all you have is a shovel. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dedicated fans will remember the old days when we constantly had tech problems. Said fans will get a nostalgic feeling from today's show as we valiantly fight packet loss in order to deliver another kind of nostalgia in the form of Degrassi. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

City Pages doesn't like Tom very much. It's not as bad as it seems though. They apparently hate everyone. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As a partially radio show, we have a vested interest in radio succeeding. That's why we pontificate about how to bring it back to its 1930s glory. At Obscura Antiques & Oddities, things from the 1930s never lose their glory as long as they're weird. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's Christmas somewhere in the world. Well, maybe not, but it's unofficial Christmas tree day, and we came ready. Real Christmas trees are hard to deal with, though perhaps not as hard as snorting condoms. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Once upon a time, being homeless was considered rock bottom. Now it's not so bad. Would Jesus give bread to someone who owns a boat? Probably not. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people are familiar with ramen. It's generally considered to be a very mundane topic. Not to everyone though. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Social media is a lot like old parents. It's hard to ignore, everyone has experience with it, and you have to know how to deal with it. Unlike old parents, social media is an overwhelmingly negative thing that needs to be destroyed. Destroying your parents is not the correct course of action no matter how old they are. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices