The Tom Barnard Show

The only thing bigger than Amazon is Steve Harvey, who we frequently try to find a fan of. The search continues. Perhaps if he remade Blazing Saddles. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Remember Benji?  Gabriel probably doesn't.  In fact, many of our listeners probably don't.  The 70s was a long time ago.  The good news is Benji's coming back thanks in part to Gabriel, a star of the movie coming out tomorrow. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gold stars are usually considered a good thing. If you have a family member in active combat, it's the opposite of good. Tony is doing his part to mitigate the badness via the Gold Star Ride. Baltimore also has its share of badness, so it's always a good idea to do your part to not contribute to that atmosphere. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There's a whole world the average person isn't aware of. That world is terrible reggae. There's a second one that Jake wrote a book about. You've probably heard of Swiss bank accounts. That's the one he's talking about. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Katy Perry has a new manager - formerly the manager of Miley Cyrus - and she's begun acting strangely. I'm sure the two are unrelated though. And speaking of acting strangely, everyone is especially talkative today for some reason. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

America is still very concerned with what race everyone is, but there's only one person for whom it really matters: Tommy Wiseau. Where is he from? Maybe Poland, maybe a country that no longer exists. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Science meets magic as Supernatural follows Stephen Hawking, who recently died. Jim is also familiar with dying, at least on TV. Sadly Hawking, unlike Jim, doesn't have the benefit of an alternate reality to live in. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sansevere might want to get a new nickname, because Sani Abacha was a Nigerian dictator with a pretty similar name and a lot of corruption. He may also want to become a Vikings quarterback. The salary is rather high. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Joy Behar and Todd Glass are both comedians. Only one of them will ever be on this show. It's the one with the new Netflix special. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tom has a new catchphrase. It means something in Wolof, but we don't care about that part. It's more the fact that it rhymes. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you need a house? Do you have several million dollars? Then buy that house and claim us as agents so we can get a finder's fee. For those of you who aren't homeless millionaires, we've still got March Madness. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Now we smoothly segue from murder to theft, courtesy of Ruth. It won't impact you as much as being killed, but embezzlement and other office theft is something you want to - and can - avoid. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy Mario Day (Mar 10) to everyone from The Best Of!Don't hesitate to get your one up from these great clips featuring:Frankie Quiñones, Orny Adams, and Andy Haynes. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 years ago the juice was loose. Now dogs are loose. It's not important who let them out; what matters is who will reign them in. That person is Bryan. It's much easier to stop a pit bull than a Bronco. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Frankie is not a genetically modified organism, but it's possible he's eaten "chicken" that was. Could that be the explanation for his sudden success? Maybe we should be encouraging food that's been made to look more like a dinosaur. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Orny will be at the Mall of America this weekend, but he's not very happy about it. It's not the comedy club that's the problem, it's the fact that the mall changes shape every night. Also you have to dodge people falling from the sky as they try to evade mall security. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After two hours of negativity, it's time to balance the equation. In your life, there are signs that point you in the right direction. You just have to know to look for them. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nicole wasn't very fond of her time at the church of Scientology, but at least they were internally consistent unlike The Walking Dead. Lot more work though. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Between alligators, diabetes, and dying while circumnavigating the globe, the world can be a dangerous place. Add a zombie virus and things just get unfair. Even if you're a lion. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The "extremely devout Christian who's secretly gay" isn't just a stereotype; it's Tina's dad. As you might imagine, this eventually caused some problems. But Tina was also good at keeping secrets. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices