The Tom Barnard Show

If you want to bulk up, eat protein. If you want to resign from the presidency, break into a hotel. These are both obvious to the well-informed. Lynn has even documented the latter in the form of courtroom drawings. A literal world apart from Tokyo, her former home. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Two German exchange students join courtesy of Mike Bryant, which Tom is clearly excited about. Who knew he liked Germany? Max, despite having a German last name, is more interested in Vietnam. Specifically the war part. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jim Carrey, along with most other celebrities, is crazy. He is not as crazy as the guy who attempted to walk across Antarctica or people who look at porn at work. Which is apparently a lot. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kratom is known to have sedating effects. Football fans are known to destroy their city in post-victory mania. Perhaps there's something there. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You may be familiar with Tom's long-standard theory that the pharmaceutical companies are a scam. Maggie has a similar theory, though the onus for her was thyroid disease rather than the news. Meanwhile, academia is full of idiots. Still. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With over 10 combat deployments and 24 years as a Green Beret, Changiz is the longest serving special forces member in US history. Much more impressive than nearly dying from drinking so much Red Bull. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Quentin Tarantino has recently said some things he'll probably regret. Sears has already done many things they'll regret. And James will be pleased to hear neither of those things are fake news. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Don Imus is retiring. At first we thought it was a big deal, but then we learned that he was only on the air for 50 years, which isn't even as many as Tom. Also, would you enjoy a movie with no dialog? It sounds bad, but apparently it's going to be good. Hopefully. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Dow is down. Way down. We can only speculate why, though most of our speculation involves people being idiots. Not us. The other people. We're all super smart. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Super Bowl had more total yards than any other NFL game. And that's not the only record the NFL set that day: a couple of the worst ads ever punctuated the record-setting plays. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There's a war going on, and it's a war between Hollywood and Netflix. Maybe if they'd each stop churning out garbage every other day there'd be more money to go around, but for now it's about who can get funding the fastest. Star Wars has no problem in this regard. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In lieu of our previously-scheduled sports betting guest, Brandon's back. He may qualify for Platinum Status if he keeps coming on. All that means is that he does't get billing any more, but still. Platinum. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim's going to be buried at Wrigley Field. Not now, but eventually. It's illegal now so he'll have to get it done surreptitiously. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are some places that you might want to go, but wouldn't want to live. A lot of them are even in the country. Most of their problems are related to being short on cookies, which is directly Steve's fault. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No gimmicks or hijinks this hour. The most important game in recent Minnesota history is upon us, and that's what it's about. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Another teacher said something that would get him put in prison if the demographic were changed slightly, but that's not even news at this point. What will be news is the enormous wave of foreclosures on Monday after half the country goes broke from betting on the Super Bowl. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every nation has a way to ruin fish, for some reason. Usually it involves turning it into some kind of paste. In medieval times it was understandable, but in modern times it's like riding a horse on the highway because you hate change. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Minneapolis city councilmen are largely crazy. It's not the city that does it to them; it's the other way around. They also seem to be having some sort of competition. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Peacocking was a popular trend for about 5 minutes that was reputed to get you more attention. The new trend is to be an actual peacock. Unfortunately, you can't fly on airplanes as a peacock, but at least you've got those feathers. Also, hotel room prices tend to be fairly gougeworthy during major events like the Super Bowl, but there's always something for a semi-reasonable amount. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's surprisingly common to be hit by a train even with all our modern safety measures. It's much less common to be shot in a formal duel. Even if you win you'll go to prison, so if someone calls you a rascal, just ignore them. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices