Breakfast With The Beak

Tom Cruise! He’s handsome! He’s disturbingly cheerful! He is the master of his own fate! But how is he at acting? We’ve been asked to evaluate Tom Cruise’s best and worst films, and that mission leads us on a path that runs from triumph to despair, from Kubrick to Cocktail, and right into the danger […]

Legos – or Lego bricks, if you want to get specific – are more than mere toys, and we’re pretty sure we know why. It’s an adventure through the world of rapid prototyping, amateur robotics, DIY drones, miniature ice hotels, and, for some reason, sea monsters. Basically all of those things relate to the topic […]

Beans! Somehow, that’s our topic. And it’s not that it’s a bad topic, but where exactly are we supposed to go with that? Trading recipes? Talking about botany? Drifting off topic and just making stuff up? Probably that last one. So listen if you want to hear about soy conspiracies, coconut vampires, imaginary birds, and, […]

Akira is famous for being a very confusing film that lots of people have seen anyway. But what happens when one of your hosts is fresh off his first-ever screening of it? Will he have any idea what he just watched? Will his bewilderment seem a little too familiar? Will there be strained comparisons to […]

What’s the best city to live in? What does that even mean? Does it mean a city with a reputation for being cool? One where the booze is cheap and plentiful? Do we have to limit ourselves to places that aren’t fictional? Is it a good idea for a podcast host to give himself a […]

We get a lot of topics here at Breakfast with the Beak HQ, and we don’t always get around to them in a timely manner. Well, never fear! We’re wrapping up 2012 with a marathon of never-before-discussed topics, from discontinued ice cream flavors to confusing questions about fabric dyes to automotive puns. Did we use […]

It’s a couple days before Christmas, and you know what that means? No one’s listening! So it’s time to squander all that good will we’ve built up by doing a show centered around dumb inside jokes, exploitation of the homeless, and Doktor Socksenberg. It’s better than it sounds! Subscribe via RSS Subscribe via iTunes Download […]

All right, people. We know you like sending in apocalypse topics, but this is the last one. We’re making it count, though! Not only are we teaching you some useful skills for the end of the world, we’re getting you ready for next week’s Mayan apocalypse. It’s a tale of unpopular gods, 7th-century PR campaigns, […]

Dude! Penguins! They’re great! I have nothing else to add to that; penguins are great, and we’re doing an episode about them. Can penguins dance? Can they ride the bus? No, but they don’t need to, because they’ve got impeccable posture and slide around on their bellies. And if you’re not into that, we have […]

According to popular culture, people get stranded on islands all the time, but what does it actually take to survive on one? We don’t actually know. Still, we’re pretty sure TV writers haven’t gotten it right yet. So join us for a tropical adventure full of friendly parrots, sinister shark-men, and Robinson Crusoe’s weirdly casual […]

It’s a boat… but it’s also your house! And we can barely believe how awesome that is! We’re finding out just what it means to be a man of the sea, riding dolphins and staging illegal clown fights in international waters. So put on your captain’s boots, read up on maritime law, and join us […]

Ah, the eternal struggle: take a nap, or drink some more coffee? We don’t exactly come to a definitive answer, but we have all sorts of terrible advice for you. So don’t sleep until you’re actually tired, don’t trust the TV if you aren’t fully awake, and don’t let anyone tell you that Ron Popeil […]

Every so often, you discover something — a book, a song, a movie, whatever — that you love. And then you realize you could have gotten into it years earlier, but didn’t. And now we’ve done a whole episode on that phenomenon, because the election is over and we can go back to talking about […]

Election Day is right around the corner, so we’re devoting a whole show to what really matters: getting in a few last shots at Mitt Romney before it stops being funny. Plus, we’ve got a round-up of all the important issues of our time, from Chris Christie’s fleeces to lingering resentment over the Star Wars […]

Hey, remember back in episode 48, when we wondered how, just how anyone could reboot the Munsters? Well, it turns out NBC took our advice, or the advice of someone like us, and the end result didn’t suck. So… you know, watch us react to it. Look, it’s pretty funny, and it’s a rare chance […]

This week, we really earn that iTunes “Explicit” rating. Why? Because we’re describing the horrors of the Inquisition in graphic detail. And it’s really horrifying, and not exactly the best source of comedy. So if you’ve ever wanted to see us visibly uncomfortable, you’re in luck. Also, I think we defamed a forgettable actor. Subscribe […]

Have we got a weird one for you this week! We might not know who killed Dr. Sex, but we know who wrote a book about it. Kind of. It’s a tangled web of Australian trade law, composite authors, old-time radio serials, and dangerous dames with secrets they’d kill for. Seriously, just look at all […]

Bacon! It’s not just a food, it’s a meme! But is it possible to still love salted and cured pork products when you’re sick of all the jokes? That’s what we’re going to find out. And while we’re on the subject, why not guard your house with a wild boar? Why not enjoy some jellied […]

What is the deal with No Turn On Red signs? Am I right? No, I’m not. Once you learn about this history of those signs, they actually make sense and we’re stuck filling time with a conversation about the value of faking a disability. Plus car wash prophets, life lessons from the other Dr. Dre, […]

When it comes to the end of the world, the Vikings win. While other cultures were content to just let their gods sit around doing nothing, the Norsemen brought them all back for one last world-destroying hurrah, and now every other religion (and TV show) wishes they could go out with that level of badassery. […]