Dear Prudence | Advice On Relationships, Sex, Work, Family, And Life

Prudence is joined this week by writer Aminatou Sow and journalist Ann Friedman. Together, Sow and Friedman host the long-running podcast Call Your Girlfriend, and have recently released their first book, Big Friendship. Prudie, Sow and Friedman tackle letters about how to ask your mother-in-law if you can repurpose the very lavish ring she gifted you, what to consider with a young daughter who relentlessly pretends to be demonically possessed, what to do when your boyfriend leaves stains on the bed sheets from masturbating, how to politely follow up with someone who offered to buy you a gift, what to do when your friends and your therapist feel that your gift giving is excessive.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Soleil Ho, the restaurant critic for the San Francisco Chronicle and the host of the Chronicle’s new food podcast, Extra Spicy. Prudie and Ho dig into letters about how to handle a husband who never likes what you cook for him, what actions to take when your supervisor requires you to ask permission to use the restroom, what to do when a housemate accuses you of “bullying” because you don’t share your meals with her. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Krystal Farmer, who works in book publishing and lives in Oakland. Prudie and Farmer tackle letters about if you should move from your lover’s house because you don’t see a future together even though all is fine at the moment, what to do when the biological father of your baby, a fling with a much younger man, wants to be part of your child’s life, what to consider when you’ve been gifted second hand clothes that the original owner now wants back, how to handle discovering a racist conversation your girlfriend had on Facebook years ago. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Rachel Fershleiser, who works in book publishing, is the co-creator of the Six-Word Memoir project, and once made a zine about soup. Prudie and Fershleiser dig into letters about what to consider when you discover that your mom secretly lives in a nudist colony, should you tell your pregnant girlfriend that it’s medically impossible that it’s your baby and you know she cheated on you, how to tell your friend that you think she may have dementia, what to do about a neighbor who keeps a racist statute on their front lawn, what to do when your ex-cop boyfriend sides with the police after watching an indefensible video of police violence, what to consider about starting a family with a wife who you think does not eat healthy.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You

Prudence is joined this week by Milisa Burke, a Brooklyn based tech worker, and part of the program committee for New York’s Asian American International Film Festival.  Prudie and Burke tackle letters about what to do when you accidentally screen share erotic fan fiction during a zoom business meeting, how to tell your friend to stop pretending to be Black in an online group about Black women’s hair, should you try to lose weight even though you think it’ll make your spouse feel bad, should you send a birthday card to your estranged mom, what to consider with an abusive, drinking husband who occasionally tries to get help. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon. Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visi

Prudence is joined this week by Christina Tucker, a contributing writer for Autostraddle, and a rotating fourth chair on NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour.  Prudie and Tucker dig into letters about how to deal with a friend’s request for money to hire an expensive divorce lawyer, what to do when your husband’s quarantine beard is turns you off, how to avoid taking off your shoes in friend’s homes without explaining your medical condition that requires you wear them, how to shut down your mother’s plans to throw you a Disney-themed wedding, what you can do to support your best friends who are moving away. Plus, Prudie and Tucker respond to a voicemail from a listener whose aunt won’t stop sending her articles about The Holocaust.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop

Prudence is joined this week by Peter Labuza, an incoming Postdoctoral Fellow at the University of Southern California, where he just defended his dissertation “When A Handshake Meant Something: Lawyers, Deal Making, and the Emergence of New Hollywood.”  Prudie and Labuza tackle letters about how to take a week “off the grid” from your family that likes to talk often, should you allow your nephew to use his education trust fund to support his soon to arrive baby, what to do when you find out that your friend makes military weapons for a living, should you to offer to make weekly meals for your colleague and his family who are isolating, how to handle a mom who keeps mentioning your recently deceased dog, how to allocate kitchen time in a four-roommate household during quarantine.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That

Prudence is joined this week by Nastia Voynovskaya, a Russian-born, Oakland-based journalist and one of the arts and culture editors at KQED, San Francisco's NPR station. She covers the intersections of the arts, activism, labor, pop culture, the Bay Area and more.  Prudie and Voynovskaya dig into letters about how to plan for your mothers funeral during a pandemic, what to consider when your wife seems less and less interested in sex, should you marry someone who doesn’t match your high sex drive, what to do when your wife insists that you sleep on the couch after hearing your work phone ring in the middle of the night, what to consider when your husband doesn’t get along with one of the family dogs.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon. Email: prude

Prudence is joined this week by Sarah Jones, a Tony- and Obie Award-winning performer and writer known for her multi-character, one-person shows, including her current, critically acclaimed show Sell/Buy/Date. Prudie and Jones tackle letters about how to find peace while your family argues about your stepson's wedding, what to do when you are in quarantine away from your boyfriend and his roommates flirt with him, what to consider when your brother-in-law starts dating someone who looks like you, should you reach out to long-lost friends during quarantine, what to consider when it seems like your boyfriend will never propose, and how to handle discovering that your husband is a real jerk to his work colleagues.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon. E

Prudence is joined this week by Jasmine Sanders, a writer from the south side of Chicago. Prudie and Sanders dig into letters about what to do when neighbors treat your private yard like a public park, what to consider when your husband insists that both of you live with his mom indefinitely, how to handle the constant practicing from your concert pianist roommate, how to tell your parents that you write erotica for a living, is there a polite way to ask your potential partners about their mental health, what actions to take when the manager of your co-working space uses it as a place to have sex. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Jack Doyle, an LGBTQ healthcare advocate, historian, and journalist originally hailing from New England. Prudie and Doyle tackle letters about what do you when your ex lies to everyone about why you left him, should you report a childhood friend who’s now lying about her upbringing to solicit donations, what to know when you increase your time flirting on chat sites during quarantine, how to handle a boyfriend who insists that you both go to bed at the same time, what to consider about the anxiety you feel during hormone replacement therapy. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Cecilia Corrigan, a Brooklyn based award-winning writer and performer. Corrigan’s poetry collection, Titanic, was released in 2014. Since then, she has released the short film Crush and web series Le Balm.  Prudie and Corrigan tackle letters about what to when your husband calls out his deceased wife’s name during sex, what actions to take when you hear domestic violence next door, but you don’t trust the police to handle it, should you try to get your favorite skillet back form a friend during a global pandemic, what to say to a friend who chided you for not social distancing enough, what to know when your sister asks that you return a dog that you’ve taken care of for 3 years, what to consider when your roommates are being antisocial while in quarantine together.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adch

Prudence is joined this week by Justine D’Souza, who creates help content for a not-for-profit organization focused on international education and global mobility. She also counsels youth, young adults, and caregivers for a crisis helpline.  Prudie and D’Souza dig into letters about what to do with a mother who only became proud of your grocery store job in light of the pandemic, what to know about a fiance with an annual ritual of honoring his former fiance who was murdered, should you demand that your son’s girlfriend, who moved into your home, go on birth control, how to handle a partner who, even though you’re expecting a baby, doesn’t watch his finances, what to do when your husband doesn’t stand up to his dad for making “creepy old man” comments to you in social media.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Monika Tomsinski, an indoorsy introvert who loves novels, pop culture, historic places, and chocolate. She lives in Seattle with her spouse and small dog. Prudie and Tomsinski tackle letters about what to do when your ex insists on a busy child custody schedule during a global pandemic, how to handle anger towards a boyfriend who didn’t social distance and contracted COVID-19, what to do about noisy neighbors that you can’t talk to in person due to quarantine, what actions to take when you are often misgendered, but don’t want to change the way you dress, how to protect your girlfriend from her abusive sister. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Toni Golan-Vilella, who helps nonprofits get what they need out of software, and Lizzy Marmon, who secures grants and donor relationships for cultural institutions. Together, they live in Brooklyn. Prudie, Golan-Vilella and Marmon dig into letters about what to do when you don’t align with your husband’s right wing values, how to handle a husband who got angry at you for mentioning that you miss the chicken from a politically incorrect restaurant, what actions to take when your open office space isn’t conducive to getting work done, what to consider when folks in your large friends group get upset when you initiate smaller outings that don’t include everyone, what to do when your work subordinate that you’re friendly with and who idolizes you does a terrible job. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoic

Prudence is joined this week by Matt Lubchansky, the associate editor of The Nib, and a cartoonist and illustrator living in Queens. Prudie and Lubchansky tackle letters about what to do with a partner who’s dishwashing leaves a lot to be desired, how to apologize to an officemate that you used to viciously bully in high school, what to know about a husband who is obnoxiously rude to wait staff, what actions to take when you discover your parents opened a credit card in your name, how to relate to a partner who’s wealthy upbringing makes you uncomfortable. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Join us online for Dear Prudence Live on April 8th at 7:00 pm EDT! Visit slate.com/live for the link! Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Alyssa Furukawa, a public health grad student and knitter who lives in Philadelphia with her enormous puppy. Prudie and Furukawa dig into letters about how to handle a brother who’s draining your parents of their retirement funds, what to do when you realize that an old friend makes you feel anxious and afraid, how to rebuild an estranged relationship with your parents on your own terms, what to consider when sex in your marriage becomes non-existent. Plus a voicemail from a listener who’s wondering how to stop living in a cluttered, messy home. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Phil Surkis, an Oakland based podcast producer, whose shows include Dear Prudence, and the upcoming Alicia Garza podcast, Lady Don’t Take No. He’s the co-host of the podcast, o.k. land, along with comedian Abas Idris. Prudie and Surkis tackle letters about how to keep your spirits up while social distancing without social media, what to do when you live far from your mom during the time of the coronavirus, is it okay to buy wedding gifts months after the wedding occurred, what to do when you don’t want your best man’s girlfriend at your wedding, is it okay to ask a family on an unplanned extended stay in your home to kick in some cash, what to consider when your friends don’t meet your birthday expectations, is it okay to name your baby the same name as your friend’s child. Join us online for Dear Prudence Live on March 25th at 7PM ET! Visit slate.com/live for the link! Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Emai

Prudence is joined this week by Calvin Kasulke, a writer, podcast producer and transsexual living in Brooklyn. His work has been featured in outlets including MEL Magazine, Vice, Electric Literature and BuzzFeed. Prudie and Kasulke dig into letters about what to consider about getting a breast lift as a reward for achieving a weight goal, how to get people to use your full name without sounding like a snob, should you let your bestie know that her friends let loose insulting gay comment to you at her last party, what to do when the sound of a co-worker’s voice irritates you, should you correct the misconception your sister is transphobic, even though you don’t speak to her anymore.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Kaitlyn Greenidge, the author of the novel We Love You, Charlie Freeman. Greenidge has written for the New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Vogue, Glamour, Elle, Virginia Quarterly Review and other places.  Prudie and Greenidge tackle letters about what to do when you can’t accept that your sister is dating a felon who’s fighting a heroin addiction, what to consider when you find out that your boyfriend fathered a child that he wants nothing to do with, are you obligated to return your boyfriend’s meat cleaver after finding it a year after you broke up, how to politely ask friends to return books you consider long overdue, should you discourage your not very sensitive boyfriend from becoming a therapist. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Join us for a live Dear Prudence at The Bell House in Brooklyn on Thursday, April 23rd at 7:30PM! Tickets Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn mo