Dear Prudence | Advice On Relationships, Sex, Work, Family, And Life

Prudence is joined this week by New York City based writer, Jaya Saxena. She's currently on staff at Eater.com, and her essay collection Crystal Clear is forthcoming from Quirk Books this year. Prudie and Saxena dig into letters about what to do when you discover a coworker has been tracking your attendance, actions and wardrobe, should you fake a baptism to appease your grandmother, what to consider when your boyfriend violates your trust by touching you after you told him not to, how to handle coworkers who treat you like their children because of your age, how to tell your conservative parents that you’ve been secretly living with your boyfriend.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Join us for a live Dear Prudence at The Bell House in Brooklyn on Thursday, April 23rd at 7:30PM! Tickets Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Faran Krentcil, the editorial director of The Newsette and editor-at-large for ELLE.com. She lives in New York City with her life partner, a vintage leopard print coat from Paris.  Prudie and Krentcil tackle letters about what to do when your boyfriend casually reveals he wore blackface in college, how to act around your sister after seeing her presence in a porn film, what to consider when your husband makes a hobby out of drinking beer, how to let friends know that you are once again transitioning to a more androgynous look, what to do when you find yourself keeping your fridge filled with food you don’t eat. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Join us for a live Dear Prudence at The Bell House in Brooklyn on Thursday, April 23rd at 7:30PM! Tickets Production by Phil Surkis Email: prudence@slate.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Molly Woodstock, a biracial journalist, audio producer, and equity consultant based in Portland, Oregon. They produce and host an award-winning weekly podcast called Gender Reveal, and have been featured as a gender expert in the New York Times, NPR, and Washington Post, among other publications. Prudie and Woodstock dig into letters about what to do when you notice your boss looking at porn on a work trip, should you avoid all family events knowing that a racist aunt will be there, how to help a friend who doesn’t bathe or clean his home, what to do when your ex-girlfriend is upset at you for hanging out with her younger brothers, what actions to take when faced with a 13 year old at your door asking for help.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Lane Moore, the creator of the hit comedy show Tinder Live! Moore is also the author of the bestselling book How To Be Alone: If You Want To And Even If You Don't, and the front-person in the band It Was Romance. Prudie and Moore tackle letters about how to ask a roommate to keep an ever-listening Alexa-type speaker out of the common areas, what to consider when a potentially romantic friend showers you with generosity you’re not quite ready for, should you give a wedding gift of money to a couple with bad financial habits, what to do when your boyfriend’s table manners aren’t up to your mother’s standard, how to handle a husband who will not buy cigarettes on your behalf, what actions to take with a groping father-in-law.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Josh Gondelman, a comedian who has written for Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and now writes for Desus & Mero. His debut essay collection Nice Try: Stories of Best Intentions and Mixed Results is available now.  Prudie and Gondelman dig into letters about if you should allow guests to speak kindly of your extremely unkind father-in-law at his funeral, how to handle a mother who doesn’t approve of your relationship, yet is bossy about your wedding plans, what actions to take when you boyfriend pees in the bed whenever he drinks, what to do when your parents side with a manipulative sister and her bullying boyfriend, how to help your husband tell better anecdotes that don’t turn people off, do you owe it to your Jewish community to be “more Jewish”, even though it’s not a big part of your identity. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your

Prudence is joined this week by Jason Carini, an attorney who works in recruiting for the legal industry in the San Francisco Bay Area.  Prudie and Carini tackle letters about what to do when you can’t help snooping for dirt on a job you left acrimoniously, how to deal with a coworker’s frequent incoming personal calls, what actions to take when the temperature at work gets so hot that you feel ill, what to do when your relationship with you dad changes because he stopped paying alimony to your mom, how to talk to your sister about preparing to be a caregiver for your parents, how to handle resentment towards friends who seem to care more about animal rights than the suffering of humans. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Hari Kondabolu, the star of the Netflix standup special Warn Your Relatives, and the critically acclaimed documentary The Problem with Apu. In 2018, he was named one of Variety’s “Comedians to Watch.” He will be in New York City headlining Carolines on Broadway from January 23rd through the 25th. Prudie and Kondabolu dig into letters about what to do when your friend took and shared photos of you in a medically induced coma, how to handle your anxiety when your wife walks naked in front of your children, how to get your dad to stop calling strangers “sweetie” or “kiddo”, what to consider when your transitioning twin chooses a name that triggers you, what to do with a boyfriend who re-gifts his second hand belonging to you at birthdays and holidays. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Grace Lavery, an Associate Professor in the Department of English at UC Berkeley.  Prudie and Lavery tackle letters about how to decide if you should you let your best friend raise your troubled daughter, what to do when neither you nor your girlfriend have living situations where you both can hang out in, how to know if you are gender nonbinary, should you apologize to your fellow commuters after accidentally playing a particularly provocative part of the Dear Prudence podcast on your phone’s speaker, what to do when your nephew’s act of stealing an item of your clothing is driving a wedge through your whole family.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Jordan Blok, a queer non-binary science communicator, research administrator, and hoop earring enthusiast based out of LA, and Prudie regular, Grace Lavery, an Associate Professor in the Department of English at UC Berkeley.  Prudie, Blok, and Lavery dig into letters about what to do when new friends who are a couple may be coming on to you, what to consider with a boyfriend who seems to be homophobic stemming from a childhood sexual assault, what to do when you strike out dating women after having had no problem dating men, does an annulment mean your are divorced or you were never married, should you oblige your abusive ex-wife’s request to process your divorce in therapy 25 years after the fact.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Grace Lavery, an Associate Professor in the Department of English at UC Berkeley, who occasionally feels like she has an alien in her throat.  Prudie and Lavery go back and look at some of the many memorable letters of 2019 that were addressed with the help of Francesca Fiorentini, Justine D’Souza, Connor Goldsmith, Helen Rosner, Clementine Ford, Nichole Perkins, Bim Adewunmi, and Alexandra Petri. Prudie and company tackle letters about if you should tell your friend that her porn and weed addicted fiancé might not be “the one”, what to consider about hanging on your secret that you gave away your boyfriend’s dog, what to do when a DNA kit reveals you married your first cousin, what to do when a member of your fine dining club can no longer afford to pay, but insists on coming anyway, what to know when you keep having dreams about your ex-boyfriend even though you will never be together again in reality, what to do with a boyfriend who spontaneously masturbates while you’re lai

Prudence is joined this week by Mistress Justine Cross, a lifestyle dominatrix and BDSM consultant based in Los Angeles. She also owns and operates Dungeon East, a minimal, modern paradise, and Dungeon West, its atmospheric West LA counterpart. She is the boss of everyone except her cat. No one is the boss of cats. Prudie and Cross tackle letters about what to do when your friend’s husband threatens violence towards your dog, how to handle coworkers who trash-talk a colleague you’re secretly dating, how to continue your open marriage after losing your “wife approved” partner, what actions to take after discovering that your daughter intentionally jumped in front of a moving truck, should you leave your perfectly good roommate situation to live with your boyfriend, how to handle a family who constantly misgenders you.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Vi

This a preview of this week's Dear Prudence mini-episode: The Tattoo Anxiety Edition. Prudence is joined this week by Glynn Washington, the host of Snap Judgment, which is heard on over 400 NPR stations every week. He also hosts the podcasts Heaven’s Gate and Spooked.  Slate Plus members receive an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Glynn Washington, the host of Snap Judgment, which is heard on over 400 NPR stations every week. He also hosts the podcasts Heaven’s Gate and Spooked.  Prudie and Washington dig into letters about what to do when one of your roommates replaces your plush toilet paper with a more economy brand, how to handle a colleague who has a memory of hooking up with you decades ago, but that never happened, how can you avoid mentioning weight loss surgery when asked about your transformation, what to do when your neighbors' smoke alarm won’t stop chirping, how to tell your alcoholic in-laws that you don’t want them drinking around your baby. Plus, a voicemail from a woman whose ex-boyfriend is asking her to move out of the house that they both bought together. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Ella Baker, a trans lesbian writer and the host of How to Be Trans, a platform celebrating thriving transgender lives.  Prudie and Baker tackle letters about what to do when your girlfriend allows a strange coworker to live in your apartment while you’re away traveling, how to know if you quit your volunteer job for the right reasons, what to know when you discover you have herpes even though you’ve never had sexual contact, how to know if the rules you’re imposing for your 12 year-old daughter’s sleepover are transphobic. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Peyton Thomas, a freelance journalist and video game writer based in Toronto. His writing has appeared in Vanity Fair, Billboard, and Pitchfork. Prudie and Thomas dig into letters about how to handle feeling not non-binary enough for your trans boyfriend, what to do when your friend in recovery comes to your bar and orders a drink, what actions to take if you feel your fiancé has befriended a con artist, what to do when your partner’s lack of direction feels like it’s holding your own future plans back, how to let a new friend know that just because you declined a last minute hiking invite, you still want to be friends. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Aric McBay, an organizer, a farmer, and an author. He lives near Kingston, Ontario. His latest book is Full Spectrum Resistance, which explores how to build more effective movements. Prudie and McBay tackle letters about how to handle not being taken seriously because you look young, should you, as a straight man, speak up when you hear a woman objectifying another woman, what to do when your couch crashing brother takes advantage of your hospitality, how to decide if you should pay your friend for house sitting when he’s historically refused payment.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Dr. Ghazaleh Samandari, an integral development coach. Samandari has spent the last 15 years researching and advocating for women's health and rights around the world.  Prudie and Samandari dig into letters about how to handle a friend who accepts a job that you’re against politically, what actions to take when social anxiety in school has you skipping lunch every day, what to do when the woman your husband cheated with now works in your office, how to make amends to your friend after insulting her “ugly” used chair.   Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Alexandra Petri, a humor columnist for the Washington Post, author of A Field Guide To Awkward Silences, and also working assiduously on a new book! Prudie and Petri tackle letters about how to handle that you’re husband of 30 years may have given you an STI, what to do when you keep catching your mother having affairs, should you confront your friend who’s about to get married, yet still cheating on her fiance, how to be graceful when friends share news that you’re already familiar with, how to process your anger over a friend who worked on her laptop during your wedding vows. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Elizabeth Freeman, a Professor of English at the University of California, Davis, specializing in, among other things, Gender/Sexuality Studies.  Prudie and Freeman dig into letters about what to do when you feel like your bisexuality alienates you from most relationships, how to know if it’s safe to come out to your historically homophobic, but now mellowed parents, what actions to take when you discover that your teenage son has been secretly filming his sexual encounters with his younger girlfriend, should you tell your neighbors that you’ve had a view of their bathroom for years, what to consider when you feel sad about your perfectly wonderful life, as it’s not the life you dreamed about. The episode concludes with a somewhat sticky story from Freeman that you won’t want to miss!  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Vis

Prudence is joined this week by Jae Bearhat, a Seattle-based writer, zinester, and known Internet presence. Their work includes the Czap Books published comic Little Teeth, the Youtube critique series Film Critters, and over dozens of posts on Twitter under the name fussybabybitch. Prudie and Bearhat tackle letters about how to decide how much to financially support a stepdaughter that you see squandering the money she already receives, how to handle out of town friends who want to visit with their four kids and stay with you instead of a hotel, what to do when a visiting friend uncomfortably infiltrates your life, including flirting with your crush and using your vibrator, how to reason with your dad who refused to let you help your mom with her debilitating disease, how to decide if you should maintain a friendship (and secret crush) with someone who may have undiagnosed autism.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.co