Dear Prudence | Advice On Relationships, Sex, Work, Family, And Life

Prudence is joined this week by Matt Martin, who recently launched TILT, a new brand of public media by and for young people to help them navigate an out-of-balance economy. Martin has worked in public radio for many years, including a long stint as a station manager of KALW-FM San Francisco. Prudie and Martin dig into letters about how to handle an annoying coworker that you ghosted but now have to occasionally see at work, what to do with an estranged father who persistently tries to contact you, how to stay sane while living with your climate change-denying dad, how to handle a fiancé who falls asleep on the couch every night, how to broach the subject of your inheritance with your estranged mother, who is also the executor of your father’s will.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Molly Priddy, a writer and editor living in Minnesota. She likes Diet Coke, her dog, and talking about feelings because feelings are the worst. Prudie and Priddy tackle letters about how to admit to your date that you’re a recovering alcoholic and you’d rather not meet in a bar, what actions to take when your best friend has joined a cult, what to do when you’re exhausted from supporting your friend’s year long quest for employment, how to decide if you should ask your dad for tuition now that you’re middle aged and starting school again, can you remain close with a friend who has been verbally hurtful to many mutual acquaintances. Also, Prudie and Priddy check out a voicemail from a machine shop worker who found out she’s making parts that will ultimately be used to help ICE capture people crossing the border.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn

Prudence is joined this week by Amira El-Sayed, a German/Egyptian Londoner who advises organizations around the world on how they can have a positive social impact. Prudie and El-Sayed dig into letters about what to do when you overhear your friend’s hair stylist says rude things about her, how to handle a friend who wants reimbursement for her travel points you thought she gifted to you, what to know about your mother who demands praise for every little thing she does, what actions to take when your boss accuses you of urinating in your chair, how to get a former flame to leave the condo that you initially let her stay in rent free.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Nichole Perkins and Bim Adewunmi, Perkins is a writer and co-host of the Slate podcast The Waves. Her first collection of poetry, Lilith, But Dark was published last year. Adewunmi is a producer on This American Life. Her play, Hoard, was published and staged in London this year. Together, Perkins and Adewunmi co-host the Slate podcast, Thirst Aid Kit. Stay tuned for a clip from Thirst Aid Kit at the end of the episode. Prudie, Perkins and Adewunmi tackle letters about what to do with a boyfriend who spontaneously masturbates while you’re laid out sick, what to consider when a colleague’s pettiness harms you professionally, how to handle a friend accusing you of being too fancy for ordinary camping, how to decide whether to invite your belligerent in-laws to your child’s baptism.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit meg

Prudence welcomes you to our first international episode, recorded live at Storey Hall in Melbourne, Australia on September 8th, 2019. Prudie was joined by Clementine Ford, a Melbourne based writer, feminist and author of the best-selling books Fight Like A Girl  and Boys Will Be Boys. Prudie and Ford dig into letters about how to leave your cousin’s employ when you know it will shutter his business, how to manage time with your girlfriend when she works on the same block as you, should you act on your crush by dating an ex-student, what actions to take when you have a compulsion to look at your ex boyfriend’s social media long after you’ve moved on, what to know when you keep having dreams about your ex, even though you will never be together again in reality. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Portia Elan, who lives in Oakland and works as a Teen Librarian. A friend once described her as “farm strong.” Prudie and Elan tackle letters about what to do when your twin son and daughter are obsessed with a TV show centered around incest, how to handle discovering that your beloved Nana who raised you, held shocking secrets about your family origins, should you carry out your 11 year-old niece’s wishes that you out her to the rest of the family, how to move forward with parents who no-showed your same sex wedding due to faith issues, what actions to take when you find out your daughter’s first crush is for someone with many mental health issues. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Soleil Ho, the San Francisco Chronicle’s restaurant critic. She’s written for food and pop culture publications like Bitch, Food & Wine, Taste, and Wine Enthusiast and hosted podcasts like Popaganda and Racist Sandwich. Prudie and Ho dig into letters about how to handle anger towards your in-laws, even though they’ve moved past their initial homophobia, how to disclose your disability when entering the dating game, what to do when your boyfriend gets upset that you didn’t immediately disclose that you’re an adoptee, how to handle transphobic co-workers after finally accepting that you’re a trans woman, what to do with a mom who believes your high school girlfriend made you gay. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Melissa Dahl, a senior editor at The Cut, where she covers health, science and psychology. She is also the author of Cringeworthy: A Theory of Awkwardness. Prudie and Dahl tackle letters about what to do when you suspect you’re not with the right therapist, how to handle a step-daughter who suddenly decides you’re not her father anymore, how to tell your partner that her work stories are long and hard to follow, what to do when it becomes awkward with your group of friends after calling one of them out for being abusive to his girlfriend. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by author Sandy Allen. Allen hosts a new podcast called Mad Chat, which unpacks what our pop culture is telling us about madness and mental health. Prudie and Allen dig into letters about how to handle your guilty feelings after kicking out your cheating ex, what to do about your brother’s habit of oversharing intimate information about your parents, should you be worried about not feeling sexually attracted to anyone, what to do when you fear that your fiancé’s drama prone daughter might end your marriage before it begins. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Daniel Mallory Ortberg, a lover of peanut butter who---WAIT! Prudence is Daniel Mallory Ortberg. Buckle up for this rare solo flight. Prudie tackles letters about how to come out to your parents while also protecting the privacy of your genderqueer identical twin, how to bring up a complicated history of sexual assault issues to your new boyfriend, how to tamp down a tendency to “over support” your boyfriend’s acting career, what to know about starting a conversation about your inheritance when you’ve never talked about money with your parents before. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Vanessa Zoltan, a non-denominational chaplain, who co-hosts Harry Potter and the Sacred Text and its spin-off show Women of Harry Potter. She also has a new podcast, Hot and Bothered. Together they dig into letters about a mother who’s worried that her daughter’s fiancé is too good looking for her, how to handle in-laws who are dramatic in their requests to have you to cover up your leg with scars and missing toes, what to do when you’re too scared to tell your friend (who you have a crush on) that her son may have worms, how to handle a partner who likes to cook large meals, but is grossed out by leftovers. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Zoltan discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to talk to her mom who voted for a politician that was instrumental in the loss of her job, and how to handle a friend who believes you ruined her wedding by sharing your cancer diagnosis. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Email: prudencepo

Prudence is joined this week by Connor Goldsmith, a literary agent at Fuse Literary, specializing in sci-fi/fantasy fiction and a variety of nonfiction subjects. Together they tackle letters about what to consider when a DNA kit reveals you married your first cousin, what actions to take when you want to see a sister who’s living with parents who exiled you for being gay, how to know if you’re ready to open up a ten year relationship to polyamory, what to consider when your friend with ADHD never returns the support you’ve given him, what to consider before reaching out to a biological sibling you’ve never met. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Goldsmith discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to handle accidentally buying a home one block away from a horrible ex, and how to handle a husband who is not at all gracious when your parents give him gifts. Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adcho

This is a feature episode of a new Slate podcast, How To! With Charles Duhigg. What if Dear Abby was an investigative reporter? Each week, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Charles Duhigg ("The Power of Habit") takes on listeners’ toughest problems and, with the help of experts, finds the answers to questions you’ve always wanted to ask, but couldn’t. Until now. Subscribe to How To! With Charles Duhigg on your preferred podcast app, or find it at slate.com/howto. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Sydney Hodges, a DC resident who, in addition to being interested in conflict resolution, is also a recovering armchair linguist who has found peace with only having a BA in Linguistics. Together they dig into letters about how to handle an aunt who is over the top in the gift giving department, how to get your work buddy back after regrettably offending them, what to know about wanting affection from your wife while you’re under the weather, how to decide whether to keep your distance or socialize with the employees you manage, what to consider when your social life stops because your friends don’t like your new husband. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Hodges discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to avoid being the babysitter and bank for a son who has nine kids from seven women, and what actions to take when your mother-in-law posts pics of your newborn without your consent. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now.  Email: p

Prudence is joined this week by Joey Garcia, the Sacramento News & Review's advice columnist, and on-air Relationship Expert for KTXL-40 TV. Garcia is also the founder of the Belize Writer's Conference where writers vacation with literary agents in her native Belize. Together they tackle letters about a woman wondering if she’s homophobic because she finds gay sex unattractive, how to handle an estranged father who now wants a “don’t discuss the past” relationship, should you tell your already fraught family that you had a daughter and put her up for adoption, what to consider when revealing to your adopted son that his birth mother was an addict, what to know about having a big old crush, even though you’ve been happily married for 7 years. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Garcia discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to take more space from her parents while she processes her abusive past in therapy. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com Production by

Prudence is joined this week Kelly Anneken, an Oakland-based funny person and all-around swell gal who performs standup comedy. She’s best known as the host of The Handmaid’s Tale recap podcast Red All Over. Together they tackle letters about how to handle an opportunity to report a former teacher who sexually abused you decades ago, what to do when your partner’s sleep schedule is the opposite of yours, what to do when you’re turned off by your partner who promises sexy time that never happens, what to consider when the bride and groom don’t thank you for spending all year planning their wedding, how to decide if you should go to your father’s birthday when you know that an abusive aunt you haven’t seen in years will be there. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Anneken discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to decide if she should stay with her porn addicted boyfriend. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your

Prudence is joined this week by author and activist, Aya de León, who teaches creative writing at UC Berkeley. She is the author of the Justice Hustlers feminist heist series, including Side Chick Nation, the first novel published about Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico. Together they tackle letters about what to do when a hiring manager calls your husband about a job that you applied to, how to handle nosy coworkers who question when you leave work to care for your son, what to do when your fat shaming, homophobic colleagues chastise you for not wanting to socialize, what to do when you suspect your Jewish faith is keeping your girlfriend’s Mormon family at a distance, what to know about planning on permanently staying “in the closet”, should you say something to your friend who is spending a lot of money on a mutual friend that already has a boyfriend. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and de León discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to tell her mother that she’s moving to her country of origin, despi