Dear Prudence | Advice On Relationships, Sex, Work, Family, And Life

Prudence is joined this week by writer, actor and comedian Zahra Noorbakhsh. Zahra is co-host of the podcast #GoodMuslimBadMuslim, and The Pop Culture Collaborative has named her their Senior Fellow on Comedy for Social Change.  Together they dig into letters about what to do when your husband’s picky eating habits leave him uninvited to family events, what actions to take when your husband is planning suicide after the kids move out, how to handle a husband who says he wants a baby, but freaks out when the topic comes up, what to consider when your friend is enabling her boyfriend to have sex with much younger people, and finally, how to handle your insurance company after your decision to to get top surgery. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Zahra discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to handle a daughter who is shaming her for dating 18 months after her husband’s death.. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Phil Surkis Learn more about

Prudence is joined this week by Assistant Professor of English at UC Berkeley, Grace Lavery. Her first book, “Quaint, Exquisite: Victorian Aesthetics And The Idea Of Japan,” is forthcoming with Princeton University Press in 2019, and she is currently working on a book on the idea of technique. Together they take on letters about what to do when the new skirt you love elicits unwanted reactions from strangers and friends, how to handle the urge to make your mundane tasks at work more titillating, what to do when your pill popping husband  is no longer welcome at family events, how to handle a workplace crush when you also cherish and love your long term relationship, and finally, how to handle parents who show up empty handed to your toddler’s birthday. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Grace discuss a letter writer who’s wondering what actions she can take when her husband falsely signed documents for his colleague so that his colleague’s child can attend school in a different district. Not yet a member

Prudence is joined this week by Portland based author and technology expert Brook Shelley. Brook works for Turbine Labs and chairs the board for Basic Rights Oregon. Together they tackle letters about what to do when your stressed out sister’s only language is complaining, how to handle your own guilt for not being “lesbian enough”, what actions to take when your racist uncle yells at his biracial stepdaughter, how to tell your boyfriend that you faked every orgasm in their relationship. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Brook discuss a letter writer who is wondering what actions she can take from being triggered every time she hears yelling in her rowdy college town, and what to do when your sister takes advantage of your family’s kindness. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by comedian Kate Willett, who has appeared on Comedy Central and Viceland. She has an album called Glass Gutter, and has a new special out on The Comedy Lineup on Netflix. Together they tackle letters about how to get out of a friend’s wedding when you have issues with their religion, what to do when your pregnant daughter’s homecoming threatens your retirement, should an Airbnb host’s racist neighbor be part of your review, how to handle telling your girlfriend about your past infidelities, what to you when your family pushes back your decision to support your late husband’s stepdaughter.Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Kate discuss a letter writer who is wondering what actions she should take so her family will stop treating her like a child, especially in public. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Jane McGonigal, the inventor of SuperBetter, a mobile game that has helped over a million people recover faster from depression and traumatic brain injury. Together they take on letters about what to do when you feel your spouse overshares about her work, how to handle feelings of guilt when your libido doesn’t match your partners, and what actions you should take when you find out your adult daughter and your neighbor have been having an affair. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Jane discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to handle a coworker who regularly berates colleagues they deem “inferior”, and what to do about a mother who has been taking the “silent treatment” too far for too long. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Sorcha Reilly, an Oakland native who works in litigation consulting. She's preparing for her MBA at INSEAD, and has been known to procrastinate by playing top 40 hits on the violin. Together they tackle letters what to do when a board game colleague regularly drinks and crosses the line, how to handle a mother who uses guilt to stay involved in your life, how to explain your sudden surgical weight loss and deal with a family who doesn’t support your decision, and what to do when a nosey sister-in-law threatens to break a neighborly bond. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Sorcha discuss a letter writer who is wondering if they should report a co-worker who lies on her timesheets, and a groom-to-be who asks how to handle the pushback he’s receiving from friends and coworkers over his decision to take his fiancée’s name. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphon

Prudence is joined this week by Kim Brinckerhoff, a lifelong Bay Area resident working on her master's degree in nursing and who does sexual assault advocacy in her free time (and also thinks everyone needs therapy). Together they tackle letters about what to do when your child’s closed-door therapy sessions make you paranoid, how to talk to your co-workers about your pain-in-the-ass colleague, how to navigate money drama with your family when you’re supporting only your niece, what do when you’ve been accidentally added to a cruel group text about you, and should you consider leaving your partner because you hate their former partner who is very much a part of the family. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and kim discuss an additional letter about how to talk to your boss about his disgusting cubicle habits. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by writer and podcaster Colin Atrophy Hagendorf. Their memoir, Slice Harvester, is about eating a plain slice from every pizzeria in Manhattan, New York City history, and quitting drinking. They take on letters about what to do when you feel unsafe because of a roomate, how to talk to your husband about his family’s sexist accountant he insists on using for your business, what do when a neighbor’s child plays too rough with your kid, how to talk to your friends about their dangerous drunk driving habits and the trauma it brings up for you, and how to create some family harmony after your stepson’s new girlfriend tries to bud in with unwanted advice. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Colin discuss an additional voicemail about how to think about building credit responsibly. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by writer John Thompson. Together they take on letters about how to talk to your parents about all your unpaid babysitting work, dealing with discomfort that your brother is dating a sex worker, how to avoid stoner shame, and how to really make clear to your partner that your vacation with his high school friends was just the worst. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and John discuss an additional letter about facing a relationship’s end when you think you may be abusive to your partner. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by writer, editor, and cool mom, Dominique Matti. Together, they tackle letters about how much you need to tell your work about your health problems, what do do about a casually racist coworker, should you involve your child’s school after your son was threatened by the kid he bullied, can you really consider having sex with your first cousin, and what to do when you think a coworker is targeting a recent immigrant in a predatory scheme. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Dominique discuss an additional letter about how talk to your father who recently revealed he may have been having an affair while your mother was still alive. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by media critic Anita Sarkeesian. Together, they tackle letters about how to talk to your friends who aren’t receptive to your concerns that they may be co-opting your cultural and religious practices, what actions you can take to counter your neighbor’s girlfriend’s petty/childish/jealous behavior, should you consider talking to law enforcement about your neighbor’s drunk driving habits, how to talk with your sibling who feels abandoned after you left your dysfunctional home as a teenager, and how should you view your relationship after your girlfriend slapped you during an argument. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Anita discuss an additional letter about an executive assistant who wants to know their options after their boss crossed the line. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by the Pulitzer Prize-winning author Jennifer Egan, whose latest book is Manhattan Beach. They take on letters that deal with what to expect from bosses when you have abusive co-workers, how to deal with the despair from having multiple miscarriages, and how to keep one’s family in your life after you’ve had to leave home. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Jennifer discuss an additional letter about how to talk to your sisters after years of meanness and teasing. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by marriage and family therapist Abigail Stone and Rebecca Ganetzky, a clinical geneticist. Together, they dig into questions about what do do when your ex husband tries to rename your daughter, should you conceal your abuse history for a ten million dollar inheritance, what to consider when thinking about starting a long distance relationship because of school, and how to talk to your boss when you realize a future subordinate might make more money than you. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie, Abby, and Becca discuss additional letters about how to handle baby gifts meant for your soon-to-be-ex-husband and his mistress and should you consider breaking up when dog co-parenting doesn’t work out. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're coming to you with something special — the inaugural episode of Better Life Lab, the new podcast from Slate and New America. Better Life Lab looks at the challenges to work-life balance, and how we can change as a culture. Subscribe to Better Life Lab via: Apple Podcasts Overcast Spotify Stitcher Google Play Or wherever you get your shows.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Daniel Summers, a practicing pediatrician and regular contributing columnist to Slate’s Outward section, where he writes about health and medicine topics that affect the LGBTQ community. The Daniels take on questions about how to support your family when your dad suffers from extreme depression, is it ever ok to consider cheating, what can you say to your homophobic coworkers who tease another employee, how can you talk to your family about your strong desire to have children of a certain gender, and what should you do when you think you may have been inadvertently cruel to a coworker suffering from significant health challenges. Slate Plus members will hear the Daniels discuss an additional letter about what do when your husband’s political engagement online has overtaken his commitment to you and your child. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Talia Jane, a NYC-based aspiring comedy writer who makes smoothies for a living and who wants you to join a union. Daniel and Talia tackle questions about whether un-friending someone on social media because of their politics makes you a bad person, how to be a good partner to someone who may be questioning their gender, what can you do to start a new friend group in a new city, how to weigh an offer for a far away job with good healthcare when suffering from intense depression, and how to think of your family dynamic going forward when your brother married the woman who bullied you growing up. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Talia discuss additional letters about how to talk to your good friend who betrayed your trust and consent and what you can do for your niece-in-law when you feel your sister is being an evil stepmother. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

Prudence is joined this week by Gavia Baker-Whitelaw,  a geek culture critic at the Daily Dot, and co-host of the podcast Overinvested. This week they take on letters about how to talk to your child about transgender identity, how to talk to others at work about the death of your child, what strategies can you use to politely address your coworkers when your illness can cause you to forget their names, how to be there for your sister when faced with spending time with her abusive partner, and how to be supportive of a good friend dealing with a bug infestation. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Gavis discuss an additional letter about fear over revenge porn. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Courtney C.W. Guerra, an editor and writer who's been giving advice as Dear Businesslady since 2014. Together, they tackle questions about talking to your partner who thinks they know how to do your job better than you, how do decide if you’re ready for a big move for a new job, what obligations do you have to answer work texts when your job provides your phone, how to talk to your parent about not wanting their new partner to officiate your wedding, and is there an appropriate way to see if my job interviewer felt the sparks the same way I did? Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Courtney discuss an additional letter about weighing your options when you want to hire a close friend to work for you. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by researcher and writer Jamie Fisher. Together they take on questions about whether or not to visit a close platonic friend that makes their partner jealous, how to talk to my partner about the fact that sex might be off the table, what can I do to deal with my fiance’s family (and their dogs) who don’t take seriously my trauma from a childhood dog attack, and how to find peace and joy when dating has proven unsuccessful. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Jamie discuss additional voicemails, one about how to deal with strangers who constantly mistake a new mom for still being pregnant, and the last about a college student trying to decide if they should take classes for their major or just for fun. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by writer and activist Jaclyn Friedman. Together they tackle questions about whether it’s ever ok to misgender someone when talking to a doctor, when to establish boundaries when working as a personal assistant, how to think about your own sexuality when your parents and therapist have reacted with homophobia, where to look for new purpose and joy at an older age, what kind of conversation to have with your in-laws who put their dirty shoes on the couch, and how to navigate wedding invites to friends who have multiple partners (and some of whom you don’t like). Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Jaclyn discuss an additional letter about how a young company might need to rethink their nude beach work outings. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices