Dear Prudence | Advice On Relationships, Sex, Work, Family, And Life

Writer, commentator and professor Roxane Gay joins Prudie to tackle your problems with online dating, bosses, exes, kids, and more! How do I avoid matching with my students on online dating apps? My boss won’t stop telling me to smile. Help! Should I report the places my ex-husband frequented for sex for human trafficking? I’m in love with a prude – how do I spice up our sex life? And finally: How do I get my kids to be better at saving money? Should I force them to move home? Plus, an update on a past letter! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by guest Alyssa Furukawa to get real about what it means to say “I’m on my way.” Then, onto your letters! I’m a pansexual woman married to a cis man – should I still come out to my homophobic family? My in-laws won’t accept my disability and my husband’s not stepping in. Help! I told my tomboy friend she was “unf**kable” in college, but now she’s hot – can I try to date her? How do I make things right when my off-handed comments backfire? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dear Prudence is joined by BuzzFeed’s Bim Adewunmi to respond to your letters. First up: how do I handle people who tell me I’m not brown enough to be Indian? Then, romance issues: my best friend can’t get over my fiancé’s past and won’t come to our wedding. I told my parents I’m poly and my dad refuses to meet the man my husband and I are dating. And finally: how do I found out if my boss has feelings for me? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Matt Albrecht and Hannah Malyn of the podcast “Matt and Hannah Know it All” join Prudie to advise on your inquiries. First up: I know I should end my friend-with-benefits relationship, but I don’t want to. How do I cut ties with an emotionally abusive friend? I’m in love with my child’s mother. Help! And lastly: am I supposed to tip every time an iPad asks me to? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First up: is a movie franchise trying to gaslight Prudie? Then, onto your letters: I’m a think I’m a pretty progressive mom, but I don’t understand the gender fluidity movement. I asked my friend not to drink with my alcoholic parents and she turned around and told my mom I said they couldn’t hang out. What do I do? My friend told me I was too fat to be in her wedding! And finally: I bought my boyfriend a bidet and now he refuses to buy toilet paper! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First up: how Prudie and her ex, Jamie Shuler, bonded over Flowers in the Attic. Then, the two tag team your letters, starting with a workplace matter of misplaced credit. Then, onto sibling strife: My sister lied about her dog dying – should I confront her about it? My sister expects me to watch her kids on our family vacation, which I’m paying for. Help! And, I think I’m in love with my ex-step-brother. What do I do? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Writer and journalist Laurie Penny joins Prudence today to tackle your family and work quandaries! How can I convince my husband to buck social pressure and stick to being a stay-at-home dad? My apartment building reeks of pot and makes me nauseated – how do I make it stop without getting my neighbor in trouble? My husband keeps inviting his toxic father to visit and then ghosts me. Help! And finally, how do I stand my ground against harassment at work and still get tips? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Comedian Myq Kaplan joins Prudence for a heated conversation about stoves. Then, onto your letters: Is meat a good enough reason to end a relationship? Should I fight for more money to close the gender wage gap even though I’m fairly paid? My son won’t let me talk to his wife without going through him. Help! And finally, a listener weighs in on pig’s milk. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First up, an opening statement from Prudence on the merits of 3D BC movies. Then, your letters! When is it okay to ask for exclusivity in a relationship? Can I cut down my reclusive neighbor’s dead tree? I’m trying to get back into the dating world, but last time I dated Tinder wasn’t even a thing. How do I do this? My boyfriend wants to be a “known” sperm donor for his friend, but I’m against it. I bought my son’s girlfriend a pregnancy test and her mom found out. Did I do something wrong? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie’s brother-in-law Zack Turner joins to advise on your family, workplace and relationship dilemmas! First up: How can I get my mom to stop shaming me for gaining weight my first year at college? Then: my introvert boyfriend refuses to socialize with my friends. My former boss resents me for taking over her old position. Should I say something to a slovenly employee whose bad hygiene is making everyone sick? Can I accept a promotion while training to work in an entirely different in my free time? I’m a full-time retail employee with benefits, but my family keeps asking when I’ll get a “real job.” Help! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by novelist Esmé Weijun Wang to advise on a batch of your family and relationship issues. First up: I fell in love with my dead husband’s best friend – then my in-laws found out and all hell broke loose. Help! When’s the right time to tell a date I’m asexual? My parents expect me to be their free marriage counselor! How do I tell my verbally abusive father to stop visiting me at college? My relatives are blaming me for my sister’s wedding choices! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie learns about birthday spankings this week! Plus, how smartphones ruined pushing your friends into pools. Then, your letters! Should I report the employee who creeped me out at an internship I no longer have? How do I let my friends and family know I’m upset they bailed on my big birthday? I’m in a dishwasher war with my mom. Help! I just came out to my husband and kids – how do I leave my marriage without hurting them? Executive Producer of Slate Podcasts Steve Lickteig joins Prudence. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie and guest Ben Gullard get real about handling criticism. Then they tackle your letters! First up, a new take on cat conundrums: My wife thinks I love our cat more than her and I think she may be right! I’m upset that my husband doesn’t want my son to live at home for the summer. And lastly, I want to be free to talk about gross things at the dinner table but my husband won’t have it. Plus, Dear Prudence investigates the origins of vaginal glue.Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie kicks it off on a light note this week: we’re all going to die someday and the sky is scary. Then, onto your letters! My love worries that I’ll be giving up too much if we move across the country so he can take a rare opportunity. My husband refuses to go to the dentist and I don’t even want to kiss him anymore. How can I convince my partner I’m not going to “get over” autism? My boyfriend proposed and now refuses to talk about our wedding. How do I deal with an annoying employee? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First off, Prudie’s open door policy: open doors for people when it makes sense. Then onto your questions: My MIL is telling my nine-year-old to give up on school because she’ll be a stay-at-home mom one day. My wife says she supports my transition, but doesn’t want me to come out or ask people to use appropriate pronouns. I think my cousin is using his girlfriend to get into a better med school – should I say something? And more on cat-stealing: how do I ask my neighbors if I can take their neglected cat? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First, a plug for more rivalries to be battled out through the giving of jewels. Then, Prudence is joined by gem Ashley C. Ford to answer your questions! I got stuck with the dramatic girl in my night class to work on a group project – how do I handle this? My work suffered because I have depression and my bosses noticed – should I be open with them about what happened? My boyfriend gets jealous of my Facebook interactions so I blocked him – did I do something wrong? I’m overqualified for my job, but love the happiness it affords me – should I be more ambitious? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by award-winning Bay Area writer Charlie Jane Anders to give award-winning advice. First up: my sister remembers a completely different childhood than me and it’s driving a wedge in our relationship. Then, some parental problems: My parents are controlling all my life decisions and it’s ruining my life; my mom forced me to get an abortion when I was young and I’m still traumatized. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie says, nine times out of ten it is not a good idea to steal someone else’s pet. Then, your questions: My husband refuses to do anything about his snoring and it’s keeping my family up at night. My friend overcharged me for rent and lied about it, so I moved out and now our mutual friends think I’m the jerk. I’m not comfortable using the singular “they” to refer to trans people – could you make something else up for me? My girlfriend is jealous of my masseuse – what do I do? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jos Lavery is back to help with more of your questions! First, two very different letters about depression: my husband has disengaged from our marriage; a friend I’m not very close to anymore is using me as his only emotional outlet. Then, I like my stepdaughters better than my own kid – am I a terrible mother? (Plus, the secret to getting a young Dear Prudie to behave is revealed!) Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by writer and academic Jos Lavery to answer your questions! First, my adult child just came out as trans – I support her, but when do we get to start talking about things other than being trans? A guy in my dorm sets an obnoxious alarm for early morning hours and then lets it sound for hours! I love everything about my boyfriend except his drug habits – is that enough of a reason to leave? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices