Dear Prudence | Advice On Relationships, Sex, Work, Family, And Life

Prudence is joined this week by Harry Eskin, a moving-image archivist based in Los Angeles. Prudie and Eskin dig into letters about if you should apologize for past conversations where you claim a heritage that you truly don’t identify as, how to talk to your mother about the way she neglected your sibling when you were children, should you preemptively write an apology on Linkedin for a racist costume you wore for your employer 10 years ago. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Charlie Jane Anders, the author of Victories Greater Than Death, the first book in a new young-adult trilogy coming in April 2021, along with the forthcoming short story collection Even Greater Mistakes. She’s also the co-host of the podcast, Our Opinions Are Correct, along with Annalee Newitz. Prudie and Anders tackle letters about how to support your brother in his new relationship when you’re uncomfortable with their age gap, what actions to take when you’re living with family who neglect the needs of their toddler, what to consider when your teenager prefers the pronoun “it”. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Leigh Bardugo, the New York Times-bestselling author of Ninth House and the creator of the Grishaverse (coming soon to Netflix). Her short stories can be found in multiple anthologies, including Best American Science Fiction & Fantasy. Prudie and Bardugo dig into letters about how to support your non-binary child while avoiding their abusive father, how to handle your boss’s wife who’s always sharing hateful gossip with you, what to consider when you miss a relative that may not like you, what to consider when intellectual debates with your husband always turn into arguments. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Sarah Jaffe, the author of Work Won’t Love You Back: How Devotion to Our Jobs Keeps Us Exploited, Exhausted and Alone, and Necessary Trouble: Americans in Revolt, both from Bold Type Books. She’s also the co-host, with Michelle Chen, of Dissent magazine’s Belabored podcast. Prudie and Jaffe tackle letters about how to support your undocumented partner through their job search, what to consider when your partner stays in touch with her past abusive partners, what to do when your childhood fib about having hearing loss follows you into adulthood. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Claire Cox, a writer and high school teacher and author of the forthcoming novel Silver Beach.  Prudie and Cox dig into letters about what to do when your wife wants you to review all her work emails before she hits send, how to steer clear of your abusive mom so you can see your siblings, what to do when your boyfriend gets defensive when you make suggestions that could help him at work, how to handle a cool reaction from colleagues at your decision to leave teaching in public school for private school. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Jaya Saxena, a staff writer at Eater. Her latest book, Crystal Clear, an essay collection about how humans assign meaning and power to objects, was published in December with Quirk Books.  Prudie and Saxena tackle letters about how to handle a sister who’s adamant that you change to a vegan diet, how to tell your husband that you will file for divorce if he gets a pet, what actions to take when your sister-in-law is neglecting her baby, how to handle a family that is prematurely planning your wedding just because you’re dating someone nice. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Rax King, the James Beard award-nominated writer of Tacky (forthcoming from Vintage Books in 2021) as well as the host of the podcast Low Culture Boil.  Prudie and King dig into letters about whether you should hire someone who shares a last name with the most prominent Nazi who ever lived, what to consider when your wife tells the same stories over and over again, what actions to take with a partner who asks you questions with irritation about every thing you do, how to express to your therapist that it may be time to take a break, how to be less judgmental of your friends on social media. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Karen K. Ho, a business and economics reporter for Quartz based in New York City. She has been published in Time, GQ, Glamour, Vox, Toronto Life, the San Francisco Chronicle, the Columbia Journalism Review and the new, critically-acclaimed true crime anthology Unspeakable Acts.  Prudie and Ho tackle letters about how to decide if you will pay for your son’s girlfriend’s abortion, should you wait to break up with your boyfriend until his leaves the job that you both share, what to consider when you wife doesn’t like your tendency to be calm when she is upset, how to reconcile your feelings with a mom who will never understand the pain she caused you growing up, should you let your now estranged husband see you after he so abruptly and painfully left your life, how to handle the heartbreak when your boyfriend of three years breaks up with you. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Produ

Prudence is joined this week by Julia Turshen, the author of the critically acclaimed cookbooks, Now & Again, Feed the Resistance, and Small Victories. Her new cookbook was released this month, and it’s titled, Simply Julia. She’s also the host of the podcast, Keep Calm and Cook On.   Prudie and Turshen dig into letters about what to consider with a daughter who you fear smokes and eats too much, how to handle an ailing mom who makes you feel bad about your weight, how to get colleagues to stop addressing you as “dear”, what to consider when you find it distasteful that your sister is giving non-professional advice on the internet. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Uma Kondabolu, the mother of comedian and prior Prudie guest, Hari Kondabolu.  Prudie and Kondabolu tackle letters about how to hold boundaries with a daughter who keeps begging for money, how to handle parents who won’t eat at your home because you allow cats in the kitchen, what to do when you’re put off by your family’s love of owning firearms, what to consider when your husband’s will leaves everything to his elderly parents and not your own children, what to consider when your boyfriend gets his ex-wife pregnant at the same time time you’re carrying his baby, what actions to take when you discover that your wife is a functioning alcoholic. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Alexis Coe, a historian and the New York Times bestselling author of You Never Forget Your First: A Biography of George Washington. She was a producer on Doris Kearns Goodwin's Washington series on the History Channel, and is also a producer on the film adaptation of her first book, Alice + Freda Forever: A Murder in Memphis.  Prudie and Coe dig into letters about what to consider when your developmentally delayed daughter now shows interest in sex, should you let your girlfriend’s child know that their mom is a survivor of sexual abuse, what to do when your 35 year old best friend is having an inappropriate friendship with a 17 year old, how to be a support to your partner when you feel you have no bandwidth to be supportive. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Chau Tu, a writer, podcast producer, and the editor of Slate Plus. Prudie and Tu tackle letters about what to do when when your husband wants the two of you to move abroad to care for his mother and you don’t want to go, what to consider when you suspect your sister doesn’t really need the wheelchair she uses, how to meet people after an extended period of social isolation, what to do when you’re estranged from your sister but want to maintain connections to her children. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Annalee Newitz, a science journalist, science fiction writer, and contributor to the New York Times opinion section. They are the author of the book Four Lost Cities: A Secret History of the Urban Age, and the novels The Future of Another Timeline, and Autonomous, which won the Lambda Literary Award. Prudie and Newitz dig into letters about what to do when you suspect your daughter’s sudden interest in civil rights issues is only to show off for her new boyfriend, what actions to take when your partner doesn’t respect your safe-word during sex, how to handle feeling “not relevant” and “too old” at the age of 26, what to consider when you are only attracted to your partner on days they present masculine.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by culture critic, podcast host and author, Kristen Meinzer. Meinzer currently hosts the podcasts Movie Therapy with Rafer & Kristen, and the podcast By The Book. Her books include So You Want to Start a Podcast, How to Be Fine (co-written with Jolenta Greenberg), and Return to Intercourse: An Amish Romance. She was named a 2020 Woman of the Year by The Women's Center in Washington DC.   Prudie and Meinzer tackle letters about what to do when your best friend is engaged to an abusive partner, how to handle it when your dad is out in the open about cheating on your mom, what to do when even an apology isn’t helping you recover from a friend argument, what actions to take when a boss calls you on zoom at inappropriate hours, how to address your concern with a friend who has moved towards nightly drinking. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your

Prudence is joined this week by Noah Kulwin, the co-host of Blowback, a political history podcast. He's also an associate editor at The Drift and a contributing editor at Jewish Currents. Prudie and Kulwin dig into letters about what actions to take with a niece who has been stealing from family and neighbors for years, how to handle a stubborn dad who prioritizes his side hustles over seeing his grandkids, what to do when your husband refuses to stop wearing sacred underclothes despite having left the Mormon church years ago, should you continue to see a guy that your family disapproves of.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Colby Gordon, an English professor at Bryn Mawr College, where he teaches weird gay poems. Prudie and Gordon tackle letters about what to do when you fear that transitioning would hurt your career, what to consider when your partner leaves you feeling vulnerable about your finances, how to talk to a close friend about her transphobic comments, how to handle regret over not supporting your trans and non-binary friends prior to you coming out as trans, what to consider when you stumble upon your friend’s fanfic Tumblr page. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Bijan Stephen, a reporter at The Verge, a music critic at The Nation, and a video game columnist at The Believer. He plays T.K. on the actual play podcast Fun City, hosts a couple shows on Twitch, and his writing has appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Times, Esquire, and elsewhere. Prudie and Stephen dig into letters about How to come to terms with a long ago relationship you now realize was inappropriate, what to do when your always negative sister-in-law decides to move to your town, how to decide when or if you’ll tell your parents that you’re legally changing your name, what to consider when you feel like you’re competing for your boyfriend’s attention with his female bestie.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence takes a look at some of the many memorable letters of 2020 with Grace Lavery, Calvin Kasulke, Toni Golan-Vilella, Lizzy Marmon, Justine D’Souza, and Jack Doyle. Prudie and company tackle letters about how to decide if you should you let your best friend raise your troubled daughter, what to consider about rewarding weight loss by getting a breast lift, how to handle a husband who gets upset when you mention missing the food from a restaurant that conflicts with your politics, what to do with a mother who only became proud of your job in a grocery in light of the pandemic, and should you report a childhood friend who’s now lying about her upbringing to solicit donations. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Harron Walker, an award-winning freelance journalist who lives in Brooklyn. Her work has appeared in GQ, Esquire, and Out, and she is a longtime Jezebel contributor. Prudie and Walker tackle letters about how to handle a mother-in-law who wants to refer to you as an “aunt” rather than admitting your baby has two moms, what to consider when you suspect your partner is transitioning and is reluctant to talk about it, should you let your parents know before you legally change your name.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Max Jacobs, a radio and podcast producer based in New York. Long ago, he helped produce this show. Prudie and Jacobs dig into letters about what to do when a neighbor’s cigarette smoke creeps into your apartment, how to cope with your mom’s passive aggressive behavior, what to do when your privileged partner complains about his job, should your wife be more careful about hiding her pot smoking from the kids. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices