Jerry Banfield

How many times do you get the feeling that you are useless, and that everything you do is a failure? The feeling that you are not able to accomplish anything, and that you have not achieved enough in life. My mind continues to try and tell me that I am useless even though I know this couldn't be further from the truth. As a new dad, there have been a lot of days where I felt I got nothing done. Since my wife and I must provide around the clock care to our newborn daughter, there are many days where I take nap midway through the day. Also, some days I am unable to record to new video lectures for my courses, or get around to answering as many discussion questions as I would like. When these days come around, it feels as if I did not accomplish everything I could have, and this leads me to question my worth as person. However, on average I have created three video lectures per day this year. This is miles ahead of anything I was doing last year, or the year before, or at any point in my working adult life. I am

Trying to accomplish too much has ruined most of the good intentions I have had in my life. Today I try and do only what is needed, and avoid taking on more than I can handle. One of example of this was when i would go to the gym. I always had the desire to do more. I would want to lift more weight, or run longer, and it became so ridiculous that I got to the point where I was doing two hour workouts. Now you might say, the more exercise the better, but shortly after I got burnt out and stopped going to the gym all together. Similar things have occurred over the course of my business. I would spend some days working 12-14 hours, obsessing over one thing or another, and take a couple days off after. Consistency is best across all facets of life, so I try and focus on the things that need to be accomplished each day and try not to go overboard. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jerrybanfield/support

What causes anger and how do I get instant relief today? This has been one of my most amazing personal transformations, and I am thankful to be able to share it with you here today. Ever since I can remember, I have been an angry person. One area I used to really have anger problems was when I was driving. If another driver would cut me off, tailgate me, or honk their horn at me this would absolutely infuriate me. So, what actually made me mad? It was the difference between how things were and how I thought they should be. Once I was able to identify this, I started taking things much less personally, and I am now able to be relatively free from anger. However, just like any other person, I am not perfect. Now when I am overwhelmed with anger, I am able to ask for help from those around me. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jerrybanfield/support

You don't have to be alone with your problems today. You have a choice whether you want to feel alone and isolated from the world, or go out and seek help from others that have experienced your pain. I remember feeling alone and depressed sitting at home, laying in bed, at school, at work feeling as if I was isolated from the rest of the world with my problems. However, this simply wasn't true. My feelings of isolation were simply an idea of my imagination, and in reality I was surrounded by people just like me. I am grateful to have a support group I attend each day where I can share my problems, and help others overcome the mistakes I have made in the past. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jerrybanfield/support

Fear and anxiety are two emotions I have struggled with a lot in my life. My biggest problem was I would try to run from my emotions instead of facing them. I would often use alcohol, gambling, or video games as an escape, and this caused me to prolong my emotional pain & suffering. Today I try and face my emotions head on. My baby daughter will cry when something is making her uncomfortable or she is being overwhelmed by life, and this seems to be the right approach to dealing with things that make us unhappy. Instead of running away from your problems, stop and take the time to acknowledge whatever it is that is making you unhappy. Thank you for taking the time to be here with me, and I appreciate your feedback! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jerrybanfield/support

Ever since I started praying, my life has been much better. I know now that I need help each day, and I receive this through prayer. The beauty of prayer is that it can be used throughout many different belief systems. Prayer helps me to center my focus and hone in on the moment. For example, I said a quick informal prayer before making this video. Most of my life was miserable without prayer because I would refuse to ask for help on a daily basis. Praying today helps me to get in to the right state of mind. The right state of mind to me is one of service and asking how I can be useful each day. Thank you for taking the time to be here with me, and I appreciate your feedback! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jerrybanfield/support

After my dad passed away, my mom told me she would give anything to have another day with my dad, even a bad one. This has helped give me a whole new perspective on the relationship I have with my wife. Even when we are having a bad day, each moment is truly a blessing. If you are a newly wed and/or recently had a child like me, don't let petty arguments prevent you from appreciating each moment with your significant other. You don't want to find yourself wishing for even another bad day down the road. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jerrybanfield/support

One of the biggest problems I have encountered as an entrepreneur is starting too many new projects. In fact, this has been a problem for me most of my life, starting new things, getting excited about them initially, and quickly become bored and leaving them unfinished. I am thankful to have been asked a question pertaining to this In my productivity course on Udemy, and I hope I can share some honest insight with you from my own life. One of the reasons I would get bored so easily is because I was living life as a means to an end, and fantasizing what it would bring me in the future. However, when the real work associated with the project became clear, I would often lose focus and put my attention towards something else. Now, whenever I was to start a new project I always ask myself what it is I am trying to accomplish, and focus on the completing it one step at a time. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jerrybanfield/support

The only real power I have in my life is over what I pay attention to. I cannot control my thoughts or what happens around me, the only thing I can control is what I give life to. I have found that life is a lot better when I pay attention to what is happening around me, right this moment. How many times have you stubbed your toe on something, or bumped in to someone, or narrowly avoided a car accident? This usually happens to me when I am paying attention to my thoughts and not what my body is doing. Accepting what is going on around me and focusing in on the moment gives me peace of mind each day. Thank you for taking the time to be here with me, and I appreciate you feedback! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jerrybanfield/support

The help you need is always right in front of you. You will often find that the solution, or help you need, is often bundled with whatever it is that's causing the problem. In other words, I can't have a problem that is absent of a solution. This is the simple Yin Yang principle of the universe. Even at the lowest points of my life, the help I needed was around me the whole time. Whether it was the awkwardness of puberty, or my struggles with alcohol addiction as an adult, the answers to my problems have always been around me and it was simply a matter of refusing to listen. The next time you find yourself in what seems like an impossible situation to overcome, remember that the solution is often close by. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jerrybanfield/support

Humans share more than 99% of DNA with each other, so why do we find reasons to dislike each other? I have struggled with this all of my life even though I understood that it was absolutely absurd to hate people that were so similar to me. So, what does it ultimately boil down to, what is the main reason for us finding reasons to dislike other people? I have found that I will initially dislike someone who reflects the negative qualities I see in myself. For example, if I see someone who is selfish and always wants their way, I am reminded of how I have often acted in the past. It is crazy how we will often conjure up perceived differences just to try and find reasons to dislike one another. Whether it be through religious views, politics, or lifestyle choices, we will find the smallest differences to focus in on. Today, I challenge everyone to instead focus on what makes us similar as humans, and share a message of peace, love, and understanding! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jerrybanfield/su

Most of my life I thought my work, school, and home life were separate. Since I tried to keep them separate, I tended to act differently at work, school, and home. I thought I could act however I wanted without is effecting the other areas of my life. I find now that having unity and consistency across all areas makes my life much easier. When I was kid, I was the person who would always use profanity at school to try and be funny, but at home I would never cuss and always do as I was told. This kind of behavior carried in to my adult life where I would cause a lot of trouble with my friends, but be on my best behavior at work. All this role-playing was exhausting! The solution I have found is to be present in each moment and be useful in every situation. Instead of trying to pull from brain on how to act, or trying to play off of roles I had in the past, I simply try to appreciate each moment which is given to me. I simply am. Thank you for taking the time to be here with me, and I appreciate your feedback!

Why I Ask to be of Service Each Day. Every morning I pray to be of service to other people so that I may be useful. This has helped to be much happier each day, because I no longer focus on my wants, and instead pay attention to my basic needs and how I can help others around me. Being of service is the most basic purpose in life. We are here in the world to be useful to others. In the past, I would often ask for things I did not need because I wanted to be able to buy more stuff. Whether it was a bigger TV or a new video game console, I almost always would waste the money. Now that I am more focused on living a life of service, I have found that I no longer need to ask for more, and my basic needs are met each day. Thank you for taking the time to be here with me, and I appreciate your feedback! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jerrybanfield/support

When a disastrous event occurs, it is easy to let the different what-if scenarios overwhelm us. The fact of the matter is you cannot change the past, and you can't make certain what will happen in the future. Last night, my mom fell off her horse while riding at night. Thank god she was wearing an emergency wrist band which immediately contacted my brother. In the past, my mind would immediately start racing over everything we could have done to prevent this accident from happening. What if my mom lived closer to me? Why doesn't she stop riding horses at her age? Why go riding at night? This was especially tough on me because I already lost my dad, and it is impossible to know how much more time I have left with my mom. Thank you for taking the time to be here with me, and I appreciate your feedback! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jerrybanfield/support

Sometimes "I don't know" is the best answer. Think of all the yes or no questions you have been approached with that have made you feel uncomfortable, where it seemed as if you were in a lose-lose situation. I asked my mom if she would come visit her new grand daughter, but my wife and I do not want anyone to stay in the house. My mom said she would come if I paid for her hotel, and immediately I thought of many reasons to say either yes or no. What stopped me from immediately saying yes was the thought that maybe she wants to wait until Christmas. Usually if someone really wants to do something, they will pick up and do it. However, I didn't want to say no either because she would probably take offense, so I said, "I don't know." If she comes with the expectation of having her hotel paid for, then that is fine. If she decides to wait until Christmas, we will look forward to her stay! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jerrybanfield/support

Are you living your relationships in today, or in the past and the future? For example, my wife and I consistently live our relationship in today. We focus on what we are doing, taking care of each other, and keeping each other happy, today. We don't spend much time on what we have done before or what we are going to do in the future, unless it is important for making decisions, today. I have noticed that many people in the early years of their relationship tend to focus on what the future holds for them. In fact, it seems as if most couples focus on what they will do in the future at the start of their relationship, and what they did in the past towards the end. I am thankful that when my wife and I first started dating, we took the time to truly get to know one another, and focused on what were doing in the moment. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jerrybanfield/support

What is it I do today that makes it easier to handle stress, anxiety, pain and suffering? The trick for me is to face whatever it is I am feeling. In the past, I would often try to run away from my problems and emotions by turning to alcohol. However, this led me to become so miserable that I had to either get me life together, or die. I am grateful to be here to share with you today, and I value your feedback! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jerrybanfield/support

Being comfortable with uncertainty gives me peace of mind. Trying to force certainty in the face of uncertainty has cause me great amounts of stress in the past. My mind was often consumed with what will happen to me when I die, is my wife okay, will I continue to make money through my business. All of this caused me anxiety, and it caused me to miss the joy that is this moment. I am no longer afraid to say "I don't know." Most of my life I though when someone used these words it made them sound unintelligent, but I now know that no one knows the answers to all of life's mysteries. By accepting that some things are simply out of my control, it allows me to live a more productive life! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jerrybanfield/support

Do you work to make yourself miserable? 00:11 - I though I was a reasonable and rational person. 1:40 - For most of my life, I was a know-it-all. 1:58 - Then, I found alcohol. 2:38 - It takes work to be an opinionated person. 4:56 - Once I joined a support group I started to become aware that I was making myself miserable. 5:25 - I would often plan my drinking routine to accommodate a hangover. 7:15 - I used to look for reasons to get angry. 12:32 - A good husband talks to his wife when he is having a bad time. 13:35 - I create the mental state I have, positive or negative. 15:01 - I ask for how I can be of service through prayer. 17:03 - The only choice we have is to put out positive or negative energy. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jerrybanfield/support

You will have what you need when you need it! You might not have it before it is time, or before you are ready for it. I have struggled most of my life wanting things before I actually needed them. For example, as early as 1st or 2nd grade I already wanted to find and be with my future wife. However, I didn't need a wife in high school or college, much less elementary school! Still I agonized myself over not being in a wonderful relationship. Today, I am thankful for my wife a newborn daughter because I truly need them, now. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jerrybanfield/support