Shoot The Dvd Player - Sterne

Happy new year! Here, have a podcast. First in a series of school holiday episodes recorded with a teenager in the next room, shaking her head at the idiot adults and their funny little internet radio show. This week:Starred Up (2013, David McKenzie)Shit goes down - and on at least one character's forehead - in this grim, gripping British prison drama.The Vanishing (1988, George Sluizer)A woman disappears while shopping at a highway service station. Man, prices at those places can be deadly, amirite? Then her bf gets all obsessed and the kidnapper's all like yeah I'll fuck with you too now haha coz I'm psycho stroke my beard. Howard the Duck (1986, Willard Huyck)← 'Nuff said.

It's Christmas, or at least it was, but let's not talk about that. This week's fillums:The Wind Rises (2014, Hayao Miyazaki)Miyazaki's final (or is it?) film. This one's about planes, this time with human, rather than porcine, pilots. Not as potentially delicious, but we're not here for the eats.The Young Poisoner's Handbook (1995, Benjamin Ross)The protagonist of this film - based on a real life mur-diddly-urdler - is named Graham Young, which I guess makes the title a pun. Only took me 20 years to get it. Anyway, this film will teach you how to poison people, and on the podcast we poison someone on mic for your entertainment. Someone bad, mind.Cube (1997, Vincenzo Natali)Imagine a giant Rubik's Cube, only instead of trying to impress your friends by removing the stickers and putting them back on in colour groupings you're trapped inside it with a bunch of shrieking arsehats and facing grotesque death at every turn. Still better than the sodding Rubik's Clock.

The podcast world is in a spin about the final episode of Serial, but those of us who don't have insane speculative subreddits devoted to us - yet - have to push on, too. This week:Locke (2013, Stephen Knight)85 minutes trapped in a car with Tom Hardy could get weird, especially if he's wearing the Bane mask. Fortunately, in Locke he's wearing a Tom Hardy mask, and very convincing it is too.Stranger By the Lake (2013, Alain Guiraudie)The peen flows thick and fast in this French psychological thriller (of sorts), as a gay cruising spot becomes the hunting ground of a moustachioed killer. Man, don't the French love their unsimulated sex scenes? Not like us Anglosphere types who prefer to do it with the lights off and in adjoining rooms if possible.Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986/1990, John McNaughton)Portrait of a serial killer, I forget his name.

We're back like Backstreet, and you better believe we are sex-U-al, not that it's any of your business. This week's fillums:The Trip to Italy (2014, Michael Winterbottom)When the words "improvised hilarity" are uttered, intelligent people tend to think first of our humble podcast. However, Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon are pretty good at it too. Is The Trip to Italy a rave to rival a week of venereal disease-trading on Fairstar the Funship c. 1985? Or is it more like Robert Louis Stevenson's Travels With a Donkey in the Cevennes except it's through Italy and the donkey is a horse that has been flogged to death do you see what I'm saying? Is anyone reading this? Because I'm still writing it, apparently.Still Walking (2008, Hirokazu Kore-eda)From the director of Nobody Knows and I Wish, Still Walking is a meditative, gentle family drama. Anna and I think this guy is tops. Why? Listen and we'll tell you at some length.Moon (2009, Dunca

Angus Sampson swallows condoms full of heroin, David Stratton trades fluids with various notable directors, and Tim has a thing for Hugo Weaving’s cane. Our second episode is film criticism at its peak something-or-other.The Mule (2014, Tony Mahony, Angus Sampson)We swallow our pride, among other things, to review this new Australian black comedy. The gags make Anna gag, while Tim questions the distinctiveness of Hugo Weaving’s moustache. In the end, everybody enjoys a nice dump. (Not recorded.)A Field In England (2013, Ben Wheatley)Weird druggo alchemical 17th century craziness, courtesy of the director of Kill List, Sightseers, and, er, Doctor Who.Proof (1991, Jocelyn Moorhouse)The regular Russell Crowe portion of the show takes in this early 90s gem. Hugo Weaving gets blind, Russell gets his ‘tocks out, and Genevieve Picot is as cold as ice, and is, if reports are to be believed, willing to sacrifice our love.

Our first episode! They said we'd never make it, or they might have had they known we were doing it. They! What a bunch of negative tossers.Anyway, here we are. Forty-five-odd minutes of Anna and me yakking about movies, plus some musical interludes to give you brief respite from us yakking about movies. We hope you enjoy our maiden effort. Comments are of course welcome, and you can find us on twitter @timsterne and @ARPy_.[02:24] The Babadook (2014)Jennifer Kent's domestic monster movie has Tim questioning his fright-fitness, while Anna conjures a satanic sock-and-lint man. The verdict? Parenting is the real horror story. (Sorry, kids. We love you.)[17:41] Winter's Bone (2010)Methamphetamine, Jennifer Lawrence and "historical banjos" meet in this bleak but not-too-bleak Ozarks mystery. Meanwhile, Anna doesn't know about the awful thing that happens in Deliverance, so let's keep that a surprise.[27:32] Romper Stomper (1992)Russell Crowe loves Hitler, while Tim has eyes only for Jacqueline McKenzie's moo