Trapped In The Cage With Nicolas Cage

Time to get some knowledge in ya, because today we're discussing a genuine documentary film with real people and what all in it. Not one of Nic Cage's make-em-ups this week!

The most dangerous part of Bangkok Dangerous is the immutable fact that, upon finishing the film, you are one hour and forty-five minutes closer to your death.

SPOILER ALERT! We spoil the pants off of The Incredibles 2 in the first few minutes of this one, so skip to about the 4 minute mark if you are so worried over having a kids film's absurdly telegraphed twist spoiled for you.  In more related news, how did we somehow talk about the fucking Ghost Rider movie for over an hour what is WRONG with us?

Well hi there little fella! We took ourselves a bit of a summer break, and now your favorite brother-fronted Nicolas Cage-centric audio experience is back with talk of Nicolas Cage's first sequel, National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets, known in many circles as "technically a movie" and "the Empire Strikes Back" moment in the career of Justin Bartha. Wait, does anyone say the last bit? Probably.

The NEXT thing I want to see is a good Nicolas Cage movie. Unfortunately, his output in the mid to late 2000s is not going to allow for this simple dream.

Who'd have thought that what could easily be considered Nicolas Cage's WORST movie would be our 45th episode, the same number as our country's worst president! Seriously, fuck Trump and this movie.

Who'd have thought that a Nicolas Cage/Oliver Stone joint about September 11th 2001 would be the least extreme movie either person has ever made?

I think it's safe to say that some of the things that we say about The Ant Bully should qualify as bullying. We'll own that one. It stick sucks nards as a movie.

I was going to make a Dougie Adams ref in this description, since 42 and all and so nice and very good, but thinking about Lord of War again fills me with such boredom that you get nothing but this episode, where I really need to start thinking seriously about the cathartic glee me brother and I get when we watch terrible fates befall Jared Leto.

The Weather Man dropped like a lead balloon when it hit theaters in 2005, so we'll drop on IT like a...respect balloon in 2018. 

Here's a bonus episode for you guys! We of course want to maintain the integrity of this hallowed podcast by experiencing each Nicolas Cage movie in order, to better track his development as God's Blessed Acting Boy, but Mom and Dad, released simultaneously in theaters and streaming services January 19th, seemed to be something to experience post haste. Is it worth the break in tradition? Oh heavens, no, but we're gonna talk about it for a bit. Enjoy!

Normally, I'd make a joke here about how Nicolas Cage is the real national treasure in the movie National Treasure, and in fact, I'm positive Josh makes that joke in the intro to the episode, but real talk, he's deadly dull in this one, and we had to suffer through a tired, unenthused Nic Cage for two hours.

This is a solid movie and a good episode, but the most important moment in this show happens in the first couple of minutes when Alex strikes gold for naming the next podcast. Don't you steal it, you bastards.

Finally, our first show recorded in 2018! We get off to a rough, weird start, and I apologize for none of it. Just be happy I cut the bit about monkey semen. Anyway, here's Adaptation, the first legit great movie we have watched for this podcast in what feels like ten thousand years.

Thanks to holidays being holidays, this episode was recorded just before Christmas, and Alex was a dumbass and forgot to upload it. Thankfully, we were talking about Sonny, a movie nobody in their right minds should be watching. Nic Cage dun goofed on this one hardcore.

Man, who'd have thought that John Woo could make a war movie this BORING?

This picture is even more of a slog than The Family Man because there's no one as odious as Brett Ratner involved in Captain Corelli's Mandolin, aside from it being a Weinstein-era Miramax production. It's just a dull, dull movie where no one making it looks like they're having fun, even when they're supposed to be having fun on sun-dappled Greek coasts.

Welcome to our Christmas special...in November. The Family Man is so dull that the best we could do is try and pivot into a holiday special halfway through, but indeed we cared about as little for the magic of Christmas as the makers of this film did. Fuck Brett Ratner.

It's a GHOULISH Trapped in the Cage Halloween spectacular this week! We team up with podcast buddies Fran Lyn and Phil Shepard of the Franimorphs podcast to talk all about one of Fran's favorite movies, Gone in 60 Seconds. Perhaps the true horror in this episode is that Alex...kinda liked the movie? MUAHAHAHAHAHA SPOOKY SCARY

Our sainted father Joel Katz joins us today, so you KNOW we got a plus-sized episode so we can fit all that Katz Men Sass. That sounds gross. Sorry, y'all. Send your complaints directly to Josh, wherever the hell he is in this exact moment. Probably on the can? That's a pretty solid assumption. We tear the lid off of Martin Scorcese's best movie no one saw, Bringing Out the Dead. Nic Cage bids adieu to the millennium in this picture, a millennium he has almost certainly seen the entirety of.