Sex Out Loud With Tristan Taormino

In the age of #MeToo, there has been a reckoning in Hollywood about sexual harassment and that extends to the way folks are treated during productions. Intimacy coordinator and founder of Intimacy Professionals Association Amanda Blumenthal joins Tristan Taormino to talk about this growing profession in Hollywood and beyond. She tells us what intimacy coordinators do, challenges they face on set, and what their training is like. She explores power dynamics on a production, how actors sometimes don’t feel like they can’t voice their sexual boundaries to a director, and why being an advocate for them is so important. Plus, she spills the tea on modesty garments (what are they?), sexual negotiation tips, and what happens when some directors don’t want her on their set. Amanda Blumenthal is the founder of Intimacy Professionals Association which is one of the leading organizations in the world for training intimacy coordinators. Amanda was the first intimacy coordinator in Los Angeles, and has worked on hundreds

Many of us have experienced stress and tension in relation to the unrelenting racist violence and oppression. There has been an explosion in public dialogue around white supremacy, whiteness, and racism and some are beginning to view this as “cultural trauma.” Dr. Robyn Henderson-Espinoza and Erin C. Law do a Sex Out Loud Takeover this episode, where host Tristan Taormino hands over the mic for them to have an important conversation. Robyn and Erin offer a different inroad to approach anti-racist work looking at whiteness and racism through a lens of somatic methodology, and drawing on the work of Tada Hozumi, Dare Sohei, (and their joint work through the Ritual as Justice School), My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem, Ibram X. Kendi, Robin D’Angelo, Kenneth Jones and Tema Okun, Politicized Somatic Experiencing, Generative Somatics, and others. What does it mean to be trauma bonded? How does our disconnection from our bodies affect how we respond to hard conversations, to criticism, to trauma? “If we are

Award winning porn performers and content creators Sinnamon Love and Jet Setting Jasmine join Tristan Taormino to discuss the realities and disparities for performers of color in the adult industry. Inequities persist in wages, visibility, power, and opportunities and companies continue to produce content with racial fetishization, stereotypes, and offensive language and marketing. We talk about how to address the inequality and oppression performers of color face, how marginalized folks are creating their own content, and how average consumers can support sex workers of color. We also dive into the history, issues, and debate about the “ethnic” and “interracial” categories in porn. Sinnamon and Jasmine share the goals, services, and demands of BIPOC-AIC (Black, Indigenous, and/or People of Color Adult Industry Collective) and their End Racism and Wage Discrimination in Porn Petition. Sinnamon Love is a 26-year veteran Black feminist sex worker dedicated to decolonizing porn and creating safe, gender-affirmin

It’s Bisexual Awareness Month and Tristan Taormino is celebrating by welcoming columnist Zachary Zane to the show! Zach shares his experience coming out bisexual, when he got pushback from his gay and straight friends. He explores the stereotypes, misunderstanding, and stigma many bisexual men face when dating and hooking up. He explains how he approaches men and women very differently on dating apps. They talk about his favorite question in his "Sexplain It" column about relationships and sexual identities and Zach’s dating tips for the pandemic. Plus, Tristan shares why she loves bi guys. Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based columnist, sex expert, and activist whose work focuses on sexuality, lifestyle, culture, and the LGBTQ community. He currently has a sex advice column at Men's Health titled “Sexplain It” and a relationship column at Queer Majority titled “Zach and the City.” His work has been published in Rolling Stone, The Washington Post, GQ, Playboy, Slate, Cosmo, and many others.

Joining Tristan Taormino in this episode are professors Jennifer S. Hirsch and Shamus Khan, the authors of Sexual Citizens: A Landmark Study of Sex, Power, and Assault on Campus based on their brilliant research about sexual assault on college campuses. Current discourses focus on toxic masculinity, consent education, bystander intervention, and adjudication, which they recognize are important factors. Hirsch and Khan take a new approach with their concepts of sexual projects, sexual citizenship, and sexual geographies and how they create and support the conditions for sexual assault. They share some compelling stories of students navigating their sexuality in a brand new environment, but they don’t just focus on individual players and experiences, but the systems that fail many of us. We talk about the role of sex education (or lack thereof), power dynamics, inequalities, social status, and peer pressure. Plus, they offer nuanced interventions and solutions for change. Jennifer Hirsch is professor of socio-m

Comedian and actor Baron Vaughn joins Tristan to talk about a wide range of topics: his self-described sexual hang-ups, what his sex life is like during the pandemic, his experiences with polyamory and conscious monogamy (“I’m a polyamorous person in a monogamous marriage”), trauma and its effect on relationships, his ‘racial baggage’ about seeking mental health support, how depression and anxiety can fuel comedy, the state of media representations of Black folx, and his new podcast Self Quar. Actor and comedian Baron Vaughn plays Bud Bergstein on Netflix’s Grace & Frankie; he is the voice of Tom Servo in the new Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Return  and he is the host of SYFY WIRE’s: The Great Debate. You may have also seen him in Blackish, Girls, Superstore, Arrested Development, Cloverfield and Black Dynamite. As a comedian, Vaughn has toured all over the country performing at festivals, clubs and theaters. He has been featured on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and twice on Conan. He has ha

Sex educator and coach Kai Werder joins Tristan to talk about one of the crucial issues facing lots of people during COVID-19: skin hunger. We discuss how a lack of sexual and non-sexual touch on top of a pandemic affects our physical and mental health. Kai offers a thoughtful, nuanced perspective on dealing with touch deprivation and practical communication tools in the digital age. Then they talk about their theories of mismatched libidos and the Desire Discrepancy workbook they created to help folks struggling with one of the most common issues in relationships. Kai is a certified sex educator, coach, writer, and healing practitioner living on the occupied Chitimacha Tribal territory of New Orleans, LA. They believe in moving alongside clients and students as a guide towards healing through pleasure. Their work centers consent-based education that is shame-free, LGBTQ prioritized, and trauma-informed. You can find her published writing on sites like Allure, Teen Vogue, MTV, Kinkly, and GO Magazine. They ar

Tristan Taormino welcomes veteran anti-racist activist Jordan Flaherty to discuss his book No More Heroes: Grassroots Responses to the Savior Mentality. No More Heroes traces "savior mentality” in pop culture, politics, non-profits, and major events including Batman, Teach for America, the flood of young white activists to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, and Project ROSE. We talk about how white saviors often begin with good intentions and where it goes wrong as well as how different grassroots responses can both help people on the ground and challenge the oppressive systems that undergird racism, poverty, and inequity. Quote: “I don’t believe you can get rich while doing good. Wealth and justice are mutually exclusive.” Plus, we talk about his newest short film on the community of resistance behind New Orleans’ historic protests including members of Southern Solidarity. Jordan Flaherty is an award-winning journalist, producer, and author. He has appeared as a guest on a wide range of television and rad

Allison Behringer, host of the documentary podcast Bodies, joins Tristan to talk about the women (and marginalized genders) whose stories she shares along with their medical mysteries. It’s a fascinating show where the interviews are deeply personal and intimate, yet what we learn has far-reaching consequences beyond one person’s life. She covers painful sex, medical devices, the pill, vaginal mesh, menopause, ALS, PGAD (persistent genital arousal disorder) and more. And she employs a collaborative method to center her subjects in their stories so they have the space and the power to tell their truths. We discussed discrimination in health care, the detrimental effects of shame, how women’s symptoms are trivialized, and how to be an advocate for your own health care. Plus, we delve into her own medical mystery—which involved painful penetration and sex—and the journey to solve it.   Allison Behringer is a Brooklyn-based a narrative audio journalist and podcast producer. She is the creator, host and producer o

Staceyann Chin joins Tristan to talk about her poetry collection Crossfire: A Litany For Survival. They talk about how she’s doing in the midst of the Black Lives Matter uprisings and the pandemic. She delves into what it means for women to reclaim their bodies after sexual violation. They cover a lot of ground: misogynoir, sexual violence, racism, capitalism, poverty, and inequity. They go deeper and talk about some very personal stuff: queer sex, love, and relationships. Plus, Stacyann reads three of her poems from the book. Poet, actor, and performing artist Staceyann Chin is the author of the new poetry collection Crossfire: A Litany For Survival, the critically acclaimed memoir The Other Side of Paradise, cowriter and original performer in the Tony Award–winning Russell Simmons Def Poetry Jam on Broadway, and author of the one-woman shows Hands Afire, Unspeakable Things, Border/Clash, and MotherStruck. She has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show and 60 Minutes, and her poetry been featured in the New York

Sex therapist and neuroscientist Dr. Nan Wise talks about her incredible book Why Good Sex Matters: Understand the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose Filled Life. Dr. Wise was a well-regarded sex therapist when she decided to go back to school to become a neuroscientist! She did an infamous study where she put people in fMRI machines, asked them to orgasm, then studied what parts of their brain lit up. This woman knows more about the sex and brain connection than anyone I know Quote: “Although we know our brains are involved in and contribute to sex, my research suggests that our brains largely control sex and pleasure.”   Dr. Nan Wise is a licensed psychotherapist, cognitive neuroscientist, certified sex therapist, board certified clinical hypnotherapist, and certified relationship specialist with three decades of experience. Driven by an intense desire to understand how the brain operates to create moods and behaviors, she returned to academia in 2009 to purse a Ph.D. in cogni

Writer & philosopher Simon(e) van Sarloos talks about their book, Playing Monogamy, newly translated into English. They discuss how to understand the world through structures, imagining what love can look like, and writing history in real time. Simon(e) van Saarloos is a writer and philosopher based in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. They published several books in Dutch including a novel and a collection of columns. In Enz. Het Wildersproces, Van Saarloos shares a feminist and queer report of the trial against the Dutch right-wing politician Geert Wilders. To learn a bit more about this book, check out a recent essay on the Gezi Park Trial in Turkey. In Het monogame drama, Van Saarloos critiques monogamous living and false notions of safety, proposing a nonmonogamous love life and a different take on ownership and property. The book was recently translated into English and published by Publication Studio, titled Playing Monogamy. Their most recent book, Herdenken herdacht, is a non-fiction work about queer f

For the first time in Sex Out Loud history, Tristan covers a topic that is taboo among the BDSM/kink community: Adult Baby & Diaper Lovers. Our expert is Dr. Rhoda, a therapist in private practice and the author of the book No More Hiding: Permission to Love Your Sexual Self. Dr. Rhoda Lipscomb has been counseling and coaching individuals and couples in human sexuality for over 28 years. She is an AASECT certified sex therapist, clinical sexologist, and sexuality coach specializing in areas of alternative sexuality. She has been in private practice for over 14 years. She frequently speaks at AB/DL events such as CapCon, TeddyCon, and US Littles, has been a guest expert on multiple podcasts regarding AB/DL acceptance and educates therapists to understand and work with the AB/DL community.

Therapist and author Jan Dworkin talks about her work examining sex, relationships, and communication through the lens of power & dreaming, both systemic and individual. She uses case studies from her practice and pulls from her own experience with sex and relationships. Tristan opens up about the topics as well. Jan Dworkin, PhD, has more than 25 years of international, cross-cultural experience as a couples therapist and leadership coach. She is a co-founder of the Process Work Institute (PWI), a not-for-profit graduate school dedicated to research and training in process-oriented psychology. She served as its academic dean for over a decade and continues to teach training workshops worldwide. Jan coaches leaders and teams across sectors, specializing in conflict facilitation and leadership development in creative industries. She is the author of Make Love Better: How to Own Your Story, Connect with Your Partner and Deepen Your Relationship Practice (Belly Song Press, 2019). Based in Portland, Oregon, s

Tristan realized she's interviewed not one, but TWO former contestants on the TV show The Masked Singer - so we went deep into the Sex Out Loud vault to find the shows from 2012 and 2013 and edited them together, commercial-free. Topics include: anal sex, non-monogamy, embracing your body, clitoral vs g-spot stimulation, favorite sex toys, and much more.

Author and artist Cooper Lee Bombardier talks about his new memoir, Pass With Care, unpacking masculinity, transitioning in community 20 years ago, facing demons, and exploring accountability. Cooper Lee Bombardier is a queer, trans American writer and visual artist living in Canada. His writing appears in The Kenyon Review, The Malahat Review, Ninth Letter, CutBank, Nailed Magazine, Longreads, BOMB, and The Rumpus; and in 13 anthologies, including the Lambda Literary Award-winning anthology, The Remedy–Essays on Queer Health Issues, and the Lambda-nominated anthology, Meanwhile, Elsewhere: Speculative Fiction From Transgender Writers, which won a 2018 American Library Association Stonewall Book Award. His memoir-in-essays, Pass with Care, is available now from Dottir Press.

Sex educator & author Marla Renee Stewart returns to the show to talk about her new book, The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay, co-written with Dr. Jess. This interview continues the conversation on seduction and building your sex skills by examining your learning style and figuring out how to seduce yourself. Marla Renee Stewart, MA is a sexologist and a sex coach who runs her own sexuality education company, Velvet Lips.  She is also a Co-Founder of the Sex Down South Conference and the Sexual Liberation Collective.  She has studied human sexuality for more than 19 years and has been featured on a variety of media outlets, as well as spoken to various audiences around the world. 

Christina Crosby, Professor of English and Feminist Gender and Sexuality Studies at Wesleyan University, is the author of A Body, Undone: Living on After Great Pain, a memoir written in the wake of spinal cord injury, pain and paralysis. At once deeply personal and deeply unsentimental, the book is her effort to “create something of an otherwise confounded life [by] ‘diving into the wreck’ of my body.”

Gene Demby, journalist and co-host of NPR's Code Switch, talks with Tristan about how racism and the environment in America informs sexual education, religion, interracial dating, fetishization, swinging while Black, and other issues that impact us today. (This special 90-minute episode was recorded before the uprisings & protests that began in late May 2020.)

TV personality, author, podcast host Dr. Jess O'Reilly joins us to talk about her new book on the topics of seduction, foreplay, core & elevated erotic feelings. Jess O’Reilly (@SexWithDrJess) is a sex and relationship expert with a background in education. Her research and passion involves teacher training in sexual health and she volunteers in schools and universities to help bring better sex & relationship education to students across Ontario. Jess is also a television personality, author, podcast host (@SexWithDrJess Podcast) and international speaker who has facilitated hundreds of corporate workshops and retreats in 35 countries from Lebanon to Costa Rica.