Breaking Bread Podcast

Do we love each other because we agree? Or is our love based on something deeper? Surprisingly, conflict exposes the answer. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Matt Kaufmann and Brian Sutter address the nature of conflict and highlight the role our consciences play. God has given everyone a conscience. The conscience gives us a sense of right and wrong. We should listen to our conscience. Our conscience is not perfectly tuned to truth. We should be a steward of our conscience. Scripture should inform our conscience. The Holy Spirit should direct our conscience. Relationships should refine our conscience. When our consciences differ with others, conflict can result. Conflict can help mature our conscience. We should honor another person’s conscience.

God wants us to know Him. He wants our thoughts towards Him and our feelings about Him to be guided by truth. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr. helps us evaluate our God image and provides tips on how to have an increasingly more accurate view of God. It is important to note: There are common inaccurate God images. Below are a few examples: “The God of Impossible Expectations” – God holds us to impossible standards and punishes us when we don’t meet them. He is never satisfied. “The Emotionally-Distant God” – God withdraws from us when we go through struggles and difficulties. “The Gotcha God” – God is out to get us. He doesn’t like to see us happy.  He is always looking for a way to ‘pull the rug out’ from under us. “The Hiding God” – God has a will for me but He won’t tell me what it is and will punish me if I don’t find it. There are good ways to recapture an accurate God image. Below are a few suggestions: Don't superimpose your experience onto the scriptures. Instead let the scri

Revealing God the Father to human beings was one of the purposes of Christ’s ministry. He wanted His hearers to know God and to view Him accurately. In this episode, Ted Witzig Jr. explains how our God image is formed and the impact that it has on us. While we will never understand God perfectly in this life, we can work to be sure we are not viewing Him through distorted lenses. It is important to note… * Everyone has a God concept and a God image. * How we picture God and believe He feels toward us are very impactful in how we relate to Him. * Those things we know about God (i.e., ‘head-knowledge’) make up our God concept. * Our God concept is formed by information that we learn about Him from the Bible and what others teach us. * Those things we feel about God, including how we picture Him, feelings we feel toward Him, and how we imagine He feels towards us is called our God image. * Our God image is formed through life experiences including our relationship with major attachment figures (primarily one’s f

Am I okay? What do people think of me? Should I be happy with myself? These self- questions highlight insecurity. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter walks us through the finer points of insecurity and presents to us true security. Insecurities are common among all ages. While the things we seek security in change over time, the fact remains that security is a common human desire. Insecurity is helpful in this way. It highlights our desire for security and prompts us with a critical question, “What should my security be in?” Is it in my job, finances, relationships or looks? Just like financial securities, some are better than others, the securities we desire are not all equal. Who do we seek approval from? What is required for me to be happy with myself? Just how secure are these securities? Most often, we look to securities that are exterior to us-the affirmation of a group, the achievement of a goal. Wonderfully, God is that exterior security He wants us to be settled in. Because of God’s depen

Sometimes interactions are charged with emotion. Often, we react to the escalation only to make it worse. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer helps us let the steam out of the charged moment so we can have rational dialogue. The key to doing this is called “validation.” Validation in interpersonal interactions. What it is. What it does. What it looks like. When do you use it? What it is not. Accepting a person’s experience. Deescalates charged emotional interactions. Being curious about another person’s experience. Heated disagreements. Not reactive Joining someone in their experience. Values another’s personhood. Validating first, correcting second. When strong negative emotions are present. Not agreement Understanding a person’s emotional response. Puts relationship first. Showing a person that you “see them.” When you are calm enough to listen. Not avoiding   Builds connection. Accept their response.   Not argumentative   Legitima

Seeking satisfaction happens on many levels, on an array of topics, moment by moment with all of us. Quenching appetites is a daily job. Psalm 90:14 offers four surprising facts about the satisfaction that comes from God. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Arlan Miller and Matt Kaufmann highlight these surprising qualities and muse on how beautifully welcome each one is. So much time, effort and energy goes into satisfying our appetites. Hunger, thirst, sleep, love, comfort, approval, accomplishment, affirmation, achievement are a few of the many cravings we try to satiate every day. Yet, God’s satisfaction is different - in four ways. “O satisfy us early with thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. “ Psalm 90:14 Earthly Satisfaction God’s Satisfaction We prize the pursuit of satisfaction as much or more than the satisfaction itself. For example, eating the meal is pursued and valued as much as the filling. God’s satisfaction is the prize. Satisfaction comes at the end. For example, at

Jesus lived among us. He taught us. But more importantly, he exampled for us “the way.” Now we have a chance to follow His lead. But how? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Katie Miller and Marcia Koch share their top three lessons learned from mentoring others. Notes:   ·         Mentoring is more relational than educational. o    Be vulnerable and trustworthy. ·         Everyone is unique. o    Be careful not to over generalize. ·         The cross of Christ is central. o    Everybody in every situation can be pointed to the cross. ·         The “self-talk” that people are saying to themselves matters. o    Listen for lies. ·         Good questions are key. o    Assume you don’t know and ask. Assume you still don’t know and clarify. ·         Regularity is more important than frequency. o    Be there. ·         People are more than their issues. o    Relate to people on a variety of levels. ·         The Holy Spirit is the change-agent. o    Pray with people.

3…2…1… no launch. This is the experience of many parents hoping to launch their kids into this wide world. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Craig Stickling and Roger Gasser give sound counsel to parents who have kids on the launching pad. Systems Check for Launch. For Kids: Do they have roots? Do they have wings? Can they evaluate their thoughts? Can they regulate their emotions? Have they been taught about God? Can they learn from pain? Can they ask for help? Can they engage in the community? Does their independence include responsibility? For Parents We are stewards of our children. We do not own them. We cannot dictate their beliefs and thoughts. God has plans for them. Do not protect them from pain. Do not protect them from failure. Do not make them into a version of yourself. Give them freedom to make choices. Expect to be disappointed at times. Anticipate handing over control to a larger community.

3...2...1... no launch. This is the experience of many parents hoping to launch their kids into this wide world. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Craig Stickling and Roger Gasser give sound counsel to parents who have kids on the launching pad. Systems Check for Launch. For Kids: Do they have roots? Do they have wings? Can they evaluate their thoughts? Can they regulate their emotions? Have they been taught about God? Can they learn from pain? Can they ask for help? Can they engage in the community? Does their independence include responsibility? For Parents We are stewards of our children. We do not own them. We cannot dictate their beliefs and thoughts. God has plans for them. Do not protect them from pain. Do not protect them from failure. Do not make them into a version of yourself. Give them freedom to make choices. Expect to be disappointed at times. Anticipate handing over control to a larger community.  

Infertility is a private loss many couples experience. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Tyler and Casey Zimmerman share their story. Their journey will accent the uniqueness of the infertility pain. It will resonate with the losses that are common among us and it will heighten God’s unique and common love to all His children. Like a fingerprint, infertility pain is common to all sorts of pain and yet unique. Infertility is a private pain. “People have no idea of my pain.” Infertility struggles to have closure. “It impacts every phase of life.” Infertility pain is cyclic. “Maybe next month?” Infertility grief is ambiguous. “I’m grieving what might have been, but I don’t know what that even is.” Infertility can produce shame. “Why is God keeping children from us?” Infertility has administrational headaches. “Why won’t insurance cover this treatment?” Infertility treatment intrudes on your privacy. “Do you really need to know that?” Infertility robs normalcy. “Everything about getting and having kids is diffe

Infertility is a private loss many couples experience. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Tyler and Casey Zimmerman share their story. Their journey will accent the uniqueness of the infertility pain. It will resonate with the losses that are common among us and it will heighten God’s unique and common love to all His children.   Like a fingerprint, infertility pain is common to all sorts of pain and yet unique. Infertility is a private pain. “People have no idea of my pain.” Infertility struggles to have closure. “It impacts every phase of life.” Infertility pain is cyclic. “Maybe next month?” Infertility grief is ambiguous. “I’m grieving what might have been, but I don’t know what that even is.” Infertility can produce shame. “Why is God keeping children from us?” Infertility has administrational headaches. “Why won’t insurance cover this treatment?” Infertility treatment intrudes on your privacy. “Do you really need to know that?” Infertility robs normalcy. “Everything about getting and having kids is dif

Our teenage kids are under construction and construction zones are messy.  In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Jeff Waibel give us a few tips for understanding these formative years. Knowing a few things can go a long way in helping us get through the construction. Remember you were a teen once. Attempt to put yourself in their shoes. Remember to hear the message behind their behavior. What are they saying to you? Often young people don’t have the words, skills or maturity to say what they feel. Nevertheless, their actions are trying to tell you something. Some messages might be: “I need your attention.” “Do you love me?” “I am embarrassed.” “I feel guilty.” Remember, whatever decision or behavior teenagers choose, it made logical sense to them. Ask them to help you understand their thinking. Follow up by asking them if they want to know how their behavior made you feel. Remember their brain is still being developed. Their personality, sense of humor and ability to measure risk are all in

Our teenage kids are under construction and construction zones are messy.  In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Jeff Waibel give us a few tips for understanding these formative years. Knowing a few things can go a long way in helping us get through the construction. Remember you were a teen once. Attempt to put yourself in their shoes. Remember to hear the message behind their behavior. What are they saying to you? Often young people don’t have the words, skills or maturity to say what they feel. Nevertheless, their actions are trying to tell you something. Some messages might be: “I need your attention.” “Do you love me?” “I am embarrassed.” “I feel guilty.” Remember, whatever decision or behavior teenagers choose, it made logical sense to them. Ask them to help you understand their thinking. Follow up by asking them if they want to know how their behavior made you feel. Remember their brain is still being developed. Their personality, sense of humor and ability to measure risk are all in

Shaming our kids - good intentions, yet with unintended poor consequences. We’ve all done it. Parenting out of exasperation. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Craig Stickling and Brian Sutter take a careful look at the messages we are sending our kids. Fortunately, a very healthy and redemptive future is possible.   What is Shame? Effects of Shame Examples of Parental Shame High-stakes Moments for Shame How do we unwind Shame? Discipline that doesn’t Shame. Nature of Shame The idea that a person is, at their core, bad, unwanted and beyond repair. Shame pushes your child into isolation. “I don’t care!” When our kids are being creative. Call your child out from hiding and into community. Separates their behavior from their personal worth. Shame shames.   Shame says there is no hope. Because I’m broken and no one wants me. “You are the only 10-year-old who doesn’t get this!” When our kids are being vulnerable. Enjoy your kids. Breaks the will but not the spirit. W

When the last of the children leave the home, couples enter the “empty nest” phase of marriage. For some, this moment is met with welcome anticipation. For others trepidation. But for all, the moment marks a transition. All transitions require a certain level of relational care. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Roger Gasser and Kaleb Beyer speak into the care needed to thrive in this transition. There are a few things that prove helpful to understand when entering the empty nest phase of marriage: Understand empty nesting begins by way of a transition. Transitions move us from an old normal to a new normal. By nature, transitions can be disorienting. But with time and effort, a satisfying new normal can be achieved. Understand the transition that needs to happen will circle closely to the change in roles that must transpire. Such a shift in roles may very well require a grieving of a past role and an acceptance of a new one. Understand the role-shift experience will be felt differently from one spouse to a

Signposts are helpful and orienting. They are helpful in guiding us from point A to point B. They are orienting because they assure us we are still on the right road. In this podcast series, Kaleb Beyer walks us through six signposts on the road to recovery from sexual betrayal. These signposts are both helpful and orienting. Six Signposts: Appropriate disclosure: Betrayal plays on the illusion of truth. Through appropriate disclosure truth is brought to bear allowing for new relationship foundations to be set. Betrayal Trauma: It is important for the betrayer to understand the trauma that betrayal causes. Trauma will explain many of the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of your betrayed spouse. Triggers: Recovery will include triggers. In moments of trigger, you will be convinced forward motion is not happening. Yet, if you understand the nature of triggers, you will understand that you are in motion. Being able to evaluate this motion is important. Understanding addiction: The betrayed needs to understand t

Signposts are helpful and orienting. They are helpful in guiding us from point A to point B. They are orienting because they assure us we are still on the right road. In this podcast series, Kaleb Beyer walks us through six signposts on the road to recovery from sexual betrayal. These signposts are both helpful and orienting. Six Signposts: Appropriate disclosure: Betrayal plays on the illusion of truth. Through appropriate disclosure truth is brought to bear allowing for new relationship foundations to be set. Betrayal Trauma: It is important for the betrayer to understand the trauma that betrayal causes. Trauma will explain many of the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of your betrayed spouse. Triggers: Recovery will include triggers. In moments of trigger, you will be convinced forward motion is not happening. Yet, if you understand the nature of triggers, you will understand that you are in motion. Being able to evaluate this motion is important. Understanding addiction: The betrayed needs to understand

Believers care about calling. Is God calling me to this assignment? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Amber Miller (Missionary Care Director) helps us see calling as more than the assignment. She gives 5 suggestions for understanding what it means to be called. Five important perspectives on following God’s call: There is purpose in the process of working out one’s calling. God is not only interested in the final assignment. He wants to use the process of discernment to grow us. We are sent after the pattern of Christ’s sending. “As my Father hath sent me, even so send I you.” John 20:21 Calling has much to do with who we are. We are called into being. Be a royal priesthood the Scriptures say. Calling is more than an assignment. Calling should not be compartmentalized. Instead, our work, home and church lives flow out of one calling. Calling is confirmed in community. Fellow believers help us determine if God is calling us to certain assignments. amiller@harvestcall.org Learn and Discern Groups: ww

Meditation is in vogue. Mindfulness is in fashion. yet, the Scriptures have spoken to this discipline for several millennia. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter walks us through the what, why and how of meditation. Show notes: Question Answer What is meditation? Meditation is deliberately setting our mind on a certain thing and remaining with our mind set upon it. Why should we meditate? Through the discipline of meditation, we become more mentally healthy as well as spiritually healthy people. The reason for this is because our thoughts give attention to those things that are true. In what ways is meditation a skill set? Meditation is a skill set because it is a learned and practiced skill by which a person can more fully focus their attention on a selected matter of the mind. What lies at the center of meditation? Attention lies at the core of mediation. Dismissing unwanted distractions and focusing on desired interests is key. What qualities do I need to have in order to meditate

Behind our vices is often a lie we believe. Reversing the lie goes a long way in reversing the vice. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Arlan and Matt speak to the health that comes by way of truth. As truth embodied, Christ wants to upset our lies. PROBLEM STATEMENT: We live in a broken world and wounds happen. Furthermore, wounds compound and compact on top of each other. They build up over time. While some wounds are huge (abuse, etc) wounds don’t have to be huge to be impactful. In fact, often, the subtle unnoticed hurts pack the biggest punch because they go without our notice and their effect is assumed negligible. FACT: Wounds give way to lies and lies give way to vice. GOAL: A healthy life skill is being able to heal from the wounding we are bound to get. HOW: Identify the lie you believe. Replace it with truth. Support the truth with repetition. EFFECT: Truth will have a living effect on our lives. We will begin to live according to the truth. Example: WOUND: When Jill was young, she was told by a