Lovett Or Leave It

Lovett Or Leave It brings a stellar array of comedy’s best and brightest to the Dynasty Typewriter stage with a special stand up episode. Lovett and Emily Heller discuss dating strategies in this modern age of ours. Will Miles takes solace in Lifetime movies, while Ellington Wells shares the trials and tribulations of babysitting. Rob Haze takes on SCOTUS, and Cara Conners takes us camping. Ian Karmel reckons with the legacy of Kanye West, and we’ll be back next week with a classic Original Flavor Lovett Or Leave It, so enjoy! For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast.

Lovett Or Leave It welcomes all the beautiful people to Los Angeles’s gorgeous Dynasty Typewriter theater, including Keep It’s own Oscars trivia star Louis Virtel. Jiavani sings a musical number for America’s catastrophic blunder, the GOP. Jonathan Braylock and Jerah Milligan sweep the spring cleaning categories. An old-timey villain (Jenny Yang) crosses their fingers for a televised trainwreck, and Lovett asks for the envelope, please, to celebrate the winners of this year’s first-annual Lovies. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast. 

Are you smarter than a Hulu cast? Live from NeueHouse Hollywood, Lovett sits down with some of the cast and producers of Hulu’s, “History of the World Part II” and tests all of our elementary school knowledge by seeing if anyone, anyone at all, can name a single historical event. Ike Barinholtz brags about being a friend of the pod, Mitra Jouhari takes a stand for Diet Coke, David Stassen settles the time-old debate: David or Dave?, and Poppy Liu’s rant evokes existential uncertainty as we all ponder whether there is any actual truth behind "The Da Vinci Code” (there isn't… is there?). “History of the World Part II”, is narrated by Mel Brooks, and Ike Barinholtz, Nick Kroll, and Wanda Sykes headline an allstar cast. This new, original series and long-awaited sequel is a four-night event streaming now, only on Hulu. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast. 

We march into a new month with another stellar phalanx of guests at Los Angeles’ beautiful Dynasty Typewriter theater. Gretchen Carlson talks about why she sued Roger Ailes and what she’s learned since leaving Fox News. Lizz Winstead talks abortion access and, against all odds, even makes it funny. Ms. Pat has lived a storied life, and sees if our audience can guess which tales are even too tall for her. Kara Swisher puts the AI in “aye yai yai” in her conversation about ChatGPT, and Lovett promotes the latest invention to hit the ever-expanding This Will Drive Humanity Insane market. Wheel we end it all with a Rant Wheel? We wheel. We wheely, wheely will. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast. 

In this week’s show, Lovett Or Leave It welcomes President Biden to the Dynasty Typewriter stage to address all these audio deepfakea of him on TikTok. At least it sure sounds like President Biden? Robin Tran and Brendan Scannell weigh in on the pressing ethical questions of our time, while Marjorie Taylor Greene (Megan Gailey) drops off America’s divorce papers, whether we want them or not. Our audience tries to guess which linguistic worms got yoinked out of Roald Dahl’s literary peaches, while our guests’ Hot Takes warm our hearts on this chilly, rainy Los Angeles night. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast. 

This week, Lovett temporarily left it, asking the brilliant Guy Branum to steer the ship in his stead. Lance Reddick teaches us from Ron DeSantis’s new Florida AP African-American Studies course, and tries to differentiate between the villains of the MCU and the villains of the GOP. River Butcher and Guy crack open a nice cold round of Gay News. One of the Mars Wrigley employees who fell in a molten vat of chocolate (Ana Gasteyer) stops by to talk about labor activism, the upcoming writers strike, and the crushing weight of molten chocolate. We end the show by collectively pitching the aliens (which absolutely are here now, right?) on reasons not to blow up the planet. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast.

Biden mixes it up and Mitt says what we’re all thinking. What a week. Ron Perlman teaches us how to tell people off. Gus Kenworthy evades Lovett’s hard-hitting questions by suggesting he take up curling. Anyone can do it! Cupid points his bow at Producer Malcolm, as Katrina Davis helps him find love on a conservative dating app. And Harry Styles’ stylist (Christina Catherine Martinez) explains the method to Harry’s queer(bait?) madness. Plus, mwah mwah mwah — it’s the Love Wheel. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast.

Live from the SiriusXM studio, Lovett Or Leave It pits DeSantis vs Trump in a battle for the... well, not the soul of the country. The Academy’s own private detective (Brandon Scott Jones) pulls back the red curtain on this year’s Oscars scandal. Lovett and Larry Wilmore discuss police brutality and the debate over reform. Plus Josie Totah and Olly Sholotan face a 90s TV quiz, and the Rant Wheel? It spins. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast. 

Whether you’re on the lanai or inside Los Angeles’s beautiful Dynasty Typewriter theater, this week’s Lovett Or Leave It thanks you for being a friend. Gabe Mollica platonically speed dates our other guests, in search of a real connection. Zach Schiffman and Carl Tart answer the question, “what’s a few misplaced classified documents between pals?” Lovett has a monopoly on our live audience’s understanding of what the hell a monopoly is. The Earth’s molten core (Alyssa Limperis) turns up the heat, and we gather our friends and lovers together to bask in the warming glow of all these Hot Takes. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast. 

Join us as Lovett Or Leave It gets sopping wet this Dry January at L.A.'s beautiful Dynasty Typewriter. A black market egg dealer (Brian Posehn) stops by to give Lovett a taste of scrambler’s delight. Jamie Loftus schools us in which hot dogs have actually earned the title. Brian Posehn and Amy Miller weigh in on whether or not the straights have gone too far with MILF Manor. Spoiler alert: they have. Ashley Ray looks for love amongst our live audience, and the Rant Wheel fires off hot, angry sparks over haunted hayrides, Babylon, and the derth of fat people on dating shows. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast.

The secret’s out… Lovett Or Leave It is back with another episode! Lovett finds out what dirty dealings Kevin McCarthy got up to when he unearths House Rules’ shadow document. We see if Star Trek: Picard’s Michelle Hurd knows her princes. The L.A. Times’ Julia Wick unpacks our fair city's city council mayhem. Holmes joins us to present the first-ever Ussy Awards, musical improvisers Zach Reino and Jess McKenna sing us into the weekend, and the Rant Wheel spins on and on. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast.

Lovett or Leave It rings in 2023 with a full house of festive guests, including the most famous Nepo Baby of all: Baby New Year (Zach Noe Towers). The audience updates their "America, Bizarre To Live In" file with all the new, strange state laws that went into effect January 1. Alex Edelman and Andrea Jin have MILFs on the mind as we struggle to separate TV fact from TV fiction. Lovett says farewell to a broadcast legend, and we end our show with some absolutely spot-on predictions.  For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast. 

Lovett Or Leave cozies up in front of the roaring fire we’ve hurled 2022’s desiccated hull into during this, our last show of 2022. Mike Lindell (James Adomian) stops by with pillows for all the good little boys and girls of the RNC. Jena Friedman and Atsuko Okatsuka pull up a chair to your family’s holiday drama. Elon Musk (James Adomian) tries his hand at stand-up and spoiler alert: the audience is wrong. Lovett provides a personalized gift guy for the right-wing whack jobs in your life, and we end by putting our grateful well-wishes in the Thank Bank. Happy Holidays, everybody, and see you in 2023! For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast.

There’s no place like Lovett Or Leave It for the holidays, as we gather with our loved ones: an AI chatbot who answers to our every whim. Sam Sanders and Zach Stafford bring the end-of-year vibes way up when they tackle our prestige drama soundscape. A goblin (Danielle Perez) stops by to rail against goblin mode. The one-and-only Jennifer Tilly bets you can't answer the question, “Was I In This?” Curtis Cook and Danielle Perez say “Good Boning America” to cheating scandals, and we get heated as we gather around the Rant Wheel. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast.

It’s a December to remember as Lovett or Leave It returns to Los Angeles’s beautiful Dynasty Typewriter and we celebrate Christmas with a new slate of “traditional” holiday rom-coms. Margaret Cho and Moshe Kasher gather 'round for a very special Hanukah-inspired edition of Gay News: Gay Jews. A "normal" Republican voter (Andrea Savage) stops by to explain how to have it both ways on Trump. Spoiler alert: it’s delusion! Danielle Schneider and Crooked's own Ryan Wallerson pit the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and the World Cup against each other in Reality vs. Reality TV, and we keep our little toesies warm with the cracking heat of all these Hot Takes. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast.

Lovett is currently asleep under a big pile of coats on the guest bed, but we here at Lovett or Leave It have prepared you a sumptuous feast of favorite segments, hand-selected by all the non-Lovett members of the LOLI universe. Join producers Brian Semel and Kendra James, associate producer Malcolm Whitfield, head writer Halle Kiefer, managing video producer Narineh Melkonian, and producer/editor Zuri Irvin as they share moments from this year’s Pride Show, our tour in Pennsylvania, and more. Don’t worry, we’ll carry Lovett to the car and make sure he’s home in time for next week’s show. Have a great Thanksgiving, everybody! For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast.

The whole Lovett Or Leave It family welcomes you and your hot dish to this year’s first-ever crypto polycule Friendsgiving! Byron Bowers and Diallo Riddle help Lovett put the “bit” in Bitcoin, while Stacey Abrams (Ashley Nicole Black) flies in on her way to a much-needed vacation. We conclusively decide who is the most annoying Thanksgiving guest, and end the show with a wholesome turn of the Gratitude Wheel. Because we’ll all have plenty to rant about. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast. 

Lovett or Leave It survives the red wave that never was after this week’s midterms, and celebrates the only way we know how: gorgeous gay mayhem. Matt Rogers channels this era’s two greatest villains, Donald Trump and Lydia Tár. Abbott Elementary’s Lisa Ann Walter reminds the world: yes, she was in that, too. Unspooled’s Paul Scheer and Amy Nicholson see if our audience has the 411 on AFI’s Top 100 movies. Anne Helen Petersen helps you put in the work, and our dais of stars welcomes these chilly autumn nights with a piping round of Hot Takes. Thank you, thank you, thank you for voting, you beautiful listeners, you! For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast. 

Midterms are making the kids squirm at this, our last Lovett Or Leave It before we see you next Tuesday at the polls. Larry Wilmore looks at Biden’s closing message, while Rainn Wilson screams for your dollars on behalf of the Democrats. A newly-motivated post-Dobbs voter (Kiran Deol) promises Lovett she’ll vote, provided she is actually real and not his hope-fueled fever dream, while Josh Gondelman offers heartfelt pep talks to the despondent, the lonely, and the zebrafish. And we end the show with a spin of the Rant Wheel, to clear some space for whatever we feel when we find out what happens next week. In the meantime, get out there and vote, babies! We’re all in this together! For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast. 

Lovett or Leave It turns L.A.’s Dynasty Typewriter into a Halloween spooktacular during the only week of the year when we don’t mind hearing boos. Lovett inadvertently summons Ivana Trump (Lizzy Cooperman) and you will not believe what’s been going on under that golf course. Tig Notaro stops by to decide which classic movie monster has a limp wrist to go with those sharp fangs and neck bolts. It’s all treats, no tricks when Ed Helms crowns the king of Halloween candy. Kevin Avery and Lizzy Cooperman put the eff off in offensive costumes, and the Rant Wheel transforms into the Fear Wheel for this one magical night only, or until we decide we like the format and want to do it again. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast.