Beat Your Genes: An Evolutionary Psychology Podcast For Finding Happiness In The Modern World

In today's replay of Episode 192 we have the following questions: 1. What are Dr. Lisle's thoughts on group therapy? What is the purpose if there is one and how would he apply evolutionary principles and esteem dynamics to group therapy? 2. My MIL treats her 4 granddaughters quite differently.  I am a disagreeable person who really values fairness. It’s hard not to comment or approach her when she treats them so different. Let’s not even begin to get into how many more clothes and toys (resources overall) she gets for her daughter’s girls. Is there a way for her to look at my daughter differently and allocate resources fairly? 3. Recently you described the Enlightenment Trap, which interested me greatly and I wondered if you believed there was some degree to which meditation practice was a means of beating the genetic disposition for egoistic drives for status enhancement. Robert Wright certainly seems to think so. I recognise that there are apparently many examples of pseudo- meditators displaying their prac

In today's new episode, Dr. Lisle discusses the following questions: 1) I was deeply fascinated by the Drs' take on narcissism and finally realized my mother is a narcissist. Many of my "friends" are also narcissists or suffer from tendencies. Is there a correlation between being raised by a narcissist and seeking those same traits in friends/partners? And what advice would you share for dealing with these people, short of running for the door? 2) I finished How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World earlier this year. What an amazing book that has radically changed my outlook on things. Since then I have tried to be much more intentional about honestly presenting myself and honestly going after relationships I see as high value. I have to admit that I have gotten a lot of negative feedback from romantic opportunities and family since updating my thinking. Does truly embracing your self/freedom come with growing pains and time or is just that being yourself is just a more lonely experience? Does any of this have

In this replay of Episode 191, Dr. Howk and Dr. Lisle answer the following questions: 1.  What is impostor syndrome? Can you change the perception of feeling like a fraud?  2. A dad's son climbs on a roof to look at his neighbor's nude sunbathing. Dad handles it, but mom is furious and thinks this is huge issue warranting psychiatric medications.   3.  A listener's boyfriend ended up at a stripclub with coworkers.  He denies he got a lapdance even though everyone else got one.  Listener wants to know if she is the one insecure and if a more confident woman wouldn't mind this happening.  And also if this is 'normal behavior' for men and so she should expect it from any future partners.  4. Does having more wealth increase the trait of openness? 5. What does the future hold for humans capable or not capable of thriving in the modern environment in the face of so many traps? 

In this new episode, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk answer these q's: 1.  Voicemail question: Are there some situations where you avoid using the down arrow technique like when the worst case scenario is actually going to happen or already present?  2.  Imagine that you are magically made Emperor of K-12 Education in the US. Essentially, you have complete, authoritarian control over the education system and can expect 100% compliance on your vision and mandates. How would you design the education system, and how does the big 5 and evo psych affect your design? 3. I want to make sure I understand beating your genes. If people are told no, punished, held back, negative reinforcement over and over again it will affect the genes. Is this a true statement.

In this replay of episode 188, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk, discuss the following questions: 1. My niece and I have been debating whether it’s safe for attractive young solo female travelers to couch surf. She believes that a careful reading of a host’s couch surfing profile enables her to spot would-be predators. What are your thoughts on this Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk? 2. Can you talk about what resilience is with regard to personality/the big 5?  Do you think that it is possible to help people develop resilience or grit?  3. I dated a guy for about 5 years who would never commit and cheated on me several times, though I did not learn of his indiscretions until after the relationship ended. I recently found out that he married one of the women who he cheated on me with after dating her for only a brief time. After our split was all said and done I definitely felt like I came out it with the better end of the deal, and I’m now in a relationship that has major *magic 10%* potential; so my question is: why am I so irr

1. I have been a proponent of wholesome eating as the guarantee of good health and optimal weight. The approach has worked great for me, but I am still curious to know if eating high caloric density foods – but within strict daily caloric “budget” – is detrimental to one’s health? I have no cravings or addictions of any sort, it is almost an “academic” question mostly concerning socially inflicted foods like BBQ, wine, cheese, etc. 2. My girlfriend often slips into baby talk — and it grates on my nerves, but I don’t know how to stop it.  Any suggestions? 3.  I’m wondering, why we’re having so many beautiful women in Russia, but much less of handsome men. Is there any explanation? 4.Plomin states that the heritablity of weight is 70%.    Is this statistic a byproduct of our modern food environment and therefore an explanation of the obesity problem?  How would the heritability of weight differ in a stone-age environment?    How would it differ if we measured a cohort from Chef AJ's group?   That word heritabil

1. If it is true that we can't change people, why would evolution waste energy engineer feelings in us that make us feel incline to try to change others? If we can't change others, why do people come to believe they can or enter relationships with others on that premise? 2. My brother has always been very private about his relationship with his significant other, to the point that it makes our family uncomfortable.  She was a foreign exchange student when they met, failed to meet requirements for her work visa this spring, and my brother finally told us they got married this past May to keep her in the states. He also expressed as recently as one year ago he is not even sure he likes her, but does enjoy her attention and having company. I guess my question here is twofold; is it worth expressing concern to him about this being that’s it’s done? It was a particularly hard blow to my parents, who are practicing Catholics, and I don’t see how he could fail to see the hurt it would cause them. Second... from a ge

1. I am a 40-something male on the online/swipey app dating scene. I have had rotten luck and I am interested in whether turning off “read receipts” on WhatsApp is putting women off.  I like the freedom that turning off “read receipts” gives me. At the same time I worry I am giving into my fears of rejection, possibly ego-trapping myself. Why does it feel empowering to turn off “read receipts” on WhatsApp and is this potentially putting off women who may think I have a hidden agenda?  2. I have found that my desire for sex has significantly declined.  So, my question is: am I a freak of nature? Or is something else potentially going on that could be corrected?  3. I’ve been fixated on losing 7-10 more pounds for the last 2 years but the weight just does not come off.  Is there something I could do to actually lose this weight? Or how can I convince my mind that this is it and just be happy about it? 4. I remember in high school being taught the concept of critical thinking skills. The more I enhance my knowle

In today's show, the Dr's answer these Q's: 1. Why do we root for under-dogs ?  How do we get status from a group that contains perennial losers ? 2. My husband and I are both 30 and have been married 2 years. My husband really wants kids, but I’m nervous about his lazy habits when that day comes. My question is: will having kids force my husband to be more active? I’m worried he will still be a couch potato 10 years from now and won’t be an active and engaged parent. 3. I've got a comment about episode 232 in which DDL says there is no unconditional love...while I agree with his response, it made me wonder why I would have feelings of unconditional love toward my dog who does not share my genes... 4. . I am curious if these leanings politically are inherent at the genetic level and what is the mechanism behind it? Is it just where we all far along the bell curves of our personality characteristic that make us all come to such different conclusions in spite of all being in the same environment? 5. On personal

In today's episode, Dr. Lisle updates us on his thinking about the COVID-19 pandemic and current events surrounding lockdowns, death rates, and the future.  Two questions are answered and they are: 1. Question about war - I am fascinated about how humans can band together in tribes and kill eachother. They also will battle eachother while having hospitals right there to treat the wounded. I can understand fighting over resources but these days it seems to be more over ideologies than that. Do you have any evolutionary insight into this? Couldn't this potentially be detrimental to gene and species survival? 2. Why we are more inclined to have High Expectations even when they make us fall into Ego Trap while we don't like to have Lower Expectations even if they help us. Is this due to social-cultural messaging or upbringing? Or something else is the cause?

1.  I feel like I am in the process of losing my best friend. She has been trying to leave an emotionally abusive/narcissistic relationship with a much older man for a while. Of her own admission she has “no future” with this guy. Whenever I try to have this conversation with her, she freezes up and goes silent on me for weeks until she messages again with a complete change of topic.  What would you do, doctors, if you were in my position? 2.  I have a question regarding alien abductions. If mental illness is not to account for the feeling of being abducted by aliens, what are the doctor’s takes on this strange phenomenon? 3.   I’ve been struggling with mood swings/PMS my whole life now, however, they’ve gotten worse over the past few months since I seem to let out my frustration on my partner now.  I’d really appreciate some tips on how to get along with my significant other during this special time and get some advice on how to not obsess over one’s emotions. 4. What is the deal with anger management? I gue

1. My 19 year old daughter confided in me that she and her friend joined a sugar baby website and has met an older man.  I am her birthmother. We are in an "open adoption arrangement" I am 38, so younger than her mom and someone she confides in. No other adults know about this. Is this normal developmentally and I should just let it play out, or is this out of bounds, and I may need to intervene more assertively? 2. Is there any way to spot people on extreme ends of the bell curve by their appearance? Perhaps it has to do with sensitivity and some people could have an intuitive way of recognizing red flag characteristics, whether in physical structure/form or expression? Is there any validity or basis to this? An evolutionary explanation?  3. I keep noticing current references to "unconditional love." Some in "spiritual circles, some in philosophy, some in the news. People supposedly suddenly want new pets for the unconditional love they are missing in isolation. Taking Ketamine or psilocybin supposedly gives

Today's questions: 1. I'm interested in the post-Corona calibration process many of us are likely going through or about to go through. I'd be interested to hear how this unique level of isolation we've all experienced leads to decalibration and then the process of recalibrating again. I am just now starting to "get back out there" and I get the sense that my nervous system is desperate for calibration while at the same time guarded against any potential bad news. What do you think, doctors? 2. I'm curious why it seems so many of us are programmed to want to push our kids to achieve if the long-term influence falls flat.   3.  I am struggling to realize the last chapter of How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World, where the author describes freedom from wanting to control others.  I have a 29 year old brother who still lives with my mother. He was working before the pandemic, but is currently unemployed. He has made thousands of dollars a month but pays her nothing. He says she doesn't care and he is wanted. Sh

In today's show, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk start with a dating question and branch off to discuss the Repeat Exposure Effect along with a song performed by one of our listeners, Warren Tews (https://youtu.be/T7_BjA_M74A), the discussion turns towards "All about the Eggs" as Dr. Lisle describes the male mating strategy of "trying to get to the female's eggs" and the confusion (from the female) that can result from that.   Included in the discussion is online dating strategies for women for pair bond success.    Question:  Dear Beat Your Genes team, From what I am hearing, as a female 10, I have practically no chance of ever pair-bonding with an objective male 10 (my equal). The best I can do is settle for a 9 with more/better resources than me (subjective 10), which can only be achieved via repeat exposure, correct? Needless to say, online dating is a nightmare, but offline I have not met/seen a man, who would make me feel overrewarded (or even remotely attracted) in more than 5 years (latest divorce). To aggrava

In today's show, the Dr's discuss these questions: 1. Ive been following Geoffory Millers twitter during the past couple months and noticed that his worldview is trending to become a little more conservative and traditionalist in light of the unprecedented level of social conflict we are experiencing. This is something that resonates with me. Once I began to understand the principles of Evolutionary Psychology, I began to see the hidden wisdom in tradition. I notice that Dr. Lisle does not seem to place much value on traditional behaviours and I always thought this was curious. Can you ask him to speak to this? 2. What is the best way to deal with sadness of grief? Are there some basic things to do? Specifically, my mother died. She was old. It was time. I am still very sad and it has hit me harder than I expected. 3. Why is everyone so divided in today’s climate? All the protests. Upset over wearing a mask. Politics. Media hype. I’m having a hard time just being me, being pressured to choose sides.

1. I have come to some confusion reconciling the Selfish Gene's central ideas and Plomin's description of genetics. The confusion though comes from trying to understand how the notion of self selective pressures at the individual gene level would be possible when so many traits of the phenotype are the result of the interaction of several genes within the genome. How can individual genes "compete" when each individual gene is reliant on how it "correlates(?)" with the rest of the genome. 2. Whenever I don’t orgasm during sex, I feel guilty. This may be because I fake the orgasm. I am not sure whether this is my internal audience censuring me or whether I am simply empathising for my guileless husband. Or, maybe, something else. Why can’t I be honest about my inorgasmia? I don’t always have a problem orgasming but around half the time I fake it. It’s not fun. What say you? 3. What would you recommend for a stay at home Mom who has two small children and is constrained by time and energy to pursue her individua

In today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses: 1. I know you propose that personality is 100% genetically driven. But Dr. McDougall has shown that genes can be turned on and off by diet, and that even the DNA of twins may diverge over time if each twin is raised separately on different diets. Might the same thing be true of the genes behind our personalities? That certain genes could be switched on or off by environmental impacts. And if so, wouldn't that mean that nurture (along with nature) does in fact affect personality? 2. Though parents don't shape their children's personalities, that time at home can leave all sorts of lasting outcomes including anything along the spectrum of wonderful to terrible memories, respectful relationships or bitterness and resentment toward one another, great financial inheritance or debt, and generally, the set of examples and information made available or limited for the child can heavily influence their life choices and performance. After can't a child and emerging adult only work

Q's 1. I'm a hyperconscientious nutcase but I don't relate at all to Dr Lisle's statement that HCNCs are more likely to be over the top with wearing masks, washing hands, etc.. I find myself getting so irritated with other people's compliance that I now make sarcastic comments in public whenever I see people wearing masks or dutifully standing on crosses in supermarket queues. What is happening to me? Is this situational disagreeableness, or is there another explanation? 2. Dr Lisle has spoken in the past about how the way to bring people over to a whole-foods plant-based way of life is to evince humility in the way you present the benefits ("seems to be working for me"). How do esteem dynamics operate between a perceived exemplars and their spectators? Is posturing like a Pyrrhonian sceptic the most effective way to get people to listen to (and follow) your example? 3. Do you have any advice on the gentlest way to break up with someone? I entered into a secret, long distance relationship with another woman c

In today's show, the doctors discuss: 1. Looking at a list of the foods with the most AGEs in them (fried or high temperature cooked high-protein/fat/sugar foods), it almost seems as if humans can in fact taste AGEs specifically. Why should the products of cooked fats and protein, especially in combination with each other and sugar, taste so much better to humans than those same products mildly cooked or uncooked. 2.I understand that adopting a WFPB diet is a way of "beating our genes" that haven't caught up to our hyper-stimulated modern environment. If we were to continue forward without adopting the diet, wouldn't our genes eventually catch up? 3. I teach WFPB nutrition to women in recovery. The program teaches self-esteem based on the work of Nathaniel Branden and they have merged this approach with nutrition.  There are always some women who are completely closed to the concepts, but I focus on those who are curious.  My question is around the self-esteem content and the best way to integrate the two top

In today's show, Dr. Lisle briefly discusses the current events in the USA and then discusses these q's: 1. I come from a family of low lifes, junkies, and drug addicts. I was able to be the first in my family to get a college degree of any kind and would like to pursue a Phd. I am willing to believe this might be reaching on my part and I might fail, but it seems worthwhile to try. If I were to look at my genetics it makes me think I’m doomed to become a drug addict who accomplishes nothing. Wouldn’t it be more useful to have a growth mindset about your abilities and let the environment tell you where you are reaching out of your league. If I’m being honest the genetics perspective just makes me feel very hopeless, where my lived experience does not. How can I more usefully incorporate this perspective to help fuel achievement, rather than a fixed mindset of my own abilities as determined by genetics?  2. I'm noticing that despite the evidence that is widely available, people who should not be personally ove