Dialogue On Divorce

Separated parents often worry about the upheaval a divorce causes in their kids’ lives, especially the stress that comes with moving back and forth between two households. But what if you could give your children the security of staying in the family home? Nesting allows kids to do just that. And it’s the parents who move in and out. So, how does nesting work? Is it right for your family? Beth Behrendt is the author of Nesting After Divorce: Co-Parenting in the Family Home. A freelance writer and single mother of three, Beth has shared her nesting experiences in several national publications, including The New York Times and Psychology Today. She is also a regular contributor to Divorce Magazine and Laura Wasser’s It’s Over Easy. Beth built Family Nesting to offer advice to other families considering this unique approach to divorce. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Beth joins Katherine to explain why she and her ex-husband made the decision to try nesting and how the arrangement benefits their fam

At the beginning of a new romance, we’re not worried about repeating the unhealthy patterns that ended our previous relationships. We tell ourselves that this one is different. But statistics tell a different story. The divorce rate is 41% for first marriages, 60% for second marriages and 73% the third time around. So, what’s behind those dismal statistics? And what can we do to heal a disappointing love life? Dr. Thomas Jordan is a clinical psychologist and a psychoanalyst in private practice in New York City. He also serves on the faculty of the NYU Postdoctoral Program in Psychoanalysis. Dr. Jordan founded the Love Life Learning Center to help people strengthen their ability to form and sustain healthy relationships, and he is the author of Learn to Love: A Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Jordan joins Katherine to discuss the three features of a disappointing love life, describing how we unconsciously repeat unhealthy patterns learned in chil

Many people are overburdened with expenses after divorce. So, what options do you have when the cost of living on your own becomes overwhelming and you get into financial trouble? Though it is a last resort, sometimes filing for bankruptcy is the best way to eliminate some of your debt and get back on your feet. So, how do divorce and bankruptcy law work together? What do you need to know about declaring bankruptcy in divorce? Dawn Kirby is the cofounder of Kirby Aisner & Curley LLP, a women-owned law firm that represents corporate and consumer debtors and creditors in bankruptcy and restructuring matters. Dawn has more than 25 years of experience as a bankruptcy attorney, and she cofounded the pro se bankruptcy clinic at Legal Services of the Hudson Valley, which provides bankruptcy counseling to individuals who fall below the Federal poverty line. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dawn joins Katherine to explain why divorce is among the most common causes of bankruptcy and when to file for chapter

If you’re going through a divorce, you’ve likely fallen into what David Emerald Womeldorff calls the Dreaded Drama Triangle or DDT. But this framework keeps you and your ex focused on your problems rather than the outcomes you want. So, what is the antidote to the toxicity of DDT? How do you shift out of fear and reactivity into creativity and empowerment? David is the Creator-in-Chief of The Empowerment Dynamic and Cofounder of the Bainbridge Leadership Center. He is also the bestselling author many books, including The Power of TED: The Empowerment Dynamic. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, David joins Katherine to explain the concept of the Dreaded Drama Triangle, exploring how the traditional approach to divorce perpetuates the DDT. David describes why we fall into the roles of victim, persecutor or rescuer in divorce and challenges us to leverage The Empowerment Dynamic as an antidote to DDT. Listen in for David’s insight on applying TED to the circumstances of divorce and learn how to disrupt

Divorce leaves us overwhelmed and vulnerable, compromising our ability to parent well. And despite our best intentions, we may inadvertently dismiss our kids’ feelings or put them in an uncomfortable position. So, what can we do to gain a better understanding of what our children are going through during a divorce? How can we learn to coparent in a way that puts kids first? Christina McGhee is the divorce-parenting expert behind Divorce and Children and author of the highly acclaimed book, Parenting Apart: How Separated and Divorced Parents Can Raise Happy and Secure Kids. Christina is also the creator of the Co-Parenting Specialist Certification Training for divorce professionals and consulting producer of the films SPLIT: The Early Years and SPLIT UP: The Teen Years. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Christina joins Katherine to explain why it’s crucial to create space for kids to talk about their experience of divorce and how to own it when you make a parenting mistake. Christina describes how ch

When you’re going through a divorce, it’s easy to lose your joy. You feel like you have every right to be down in the dumps. This was certainly true for Connie Monroe, who threw herself a pity party with wine and cigarettes every night after work during her divorce. But when she found out that her cousin had been diagnosed with cancer and the prognosis was not good, Connie had an AHA moment. She realized that divorce was not going to kill her, and it was an insult to her cousin to wallow. She recognized that joy was a choice. And in 2008, Connie left her corporate finance career to build Monroe Coaching, a transformational coaching practice that helps women navigate fertility issues and divorce. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Connie joins Katherine to discuss her book, Holding Onto Joy Through Abandonment and Divorce. Connie shares the story of her own infertility issues, her husband’s infidelity and their attempt to reconcile that ended in divorce. Listen in for Connie’s advice on being comple

Divorce means accepting that things didn’t go as planned and adjusting to major changes in your life. It’s about taking on challenges you’re not prepared for at a time when your confidence is shot. When Eykiena ‘Keena’ Crowley got divorced, she struggled with all of these issues too. But her background as a combat veteran in the US Army meant that she had practice adjusting to unanticipated change. And she leveraged that military mindset to navigate her divorce. For Keena, giving up was not an option. Today, Keena is Founder and CEO of My Thriving Life Academy, a company that empowers people to identify their inner gifts and elevate to their pinnacle in life. Keena is also a divorce recovery coach, international speaker and author of A Superwoman’s Guide to Recovering After Divorce. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Keena joins Katherine to explain how the army prepared her for divorce and share her superwoman’s approach to recovering from the breakup of a marriage. Keena walks us through the five

Most of us are familiar with the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. But what if your experience doesn’t follow this linear pattern? Whether you’re grieving the loss of a loved one or navigating a divorce, you need tools to move through the trauma of loss and get to life on the other side. Krista St. Germain is a Master Certified Life Coach, post-traumatic growth and grief expert, and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast. When her husband was killed by a drunk driver in 2016, Krista's life was unexpectedly flipped upside down. Therapy helped her learn the tools she needed to move forward and build a future she could get excited about. And now, she coaches other people through their grief and helps them love life again, too. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Krista joins Katherine to explain why the pop culture theory of grief doesn’t describe everyone’s experience, challenging us to reframe our emotions not as problems to be solved but a valuable part of being hu

Most people think of narcissists as obnoxious and self-absorbed. They’re flashy, loud and charismatic. And it’s obvious that they’re looking out for #1. But a covert narcissist is much harder to identify. They are generally well-liked and well-respected by others. And the way they manipulate their partner is much more subtle and difficult to recognize. So, how do you know if you’re in a relationship with a covert narcissist? Is there anything you can do to make the divorce process more manageable? Debbie Mirza is a speaker, singer/songwriter and restorative coach with expertise in helping people heal from covert narcissistic abuse. Debbie is also the bestselling author of The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse, Worthy of Love: A Gentle and Restorative Path to Healing After Narcissistic Abuse and The Safest Place Possible: A Guide to Healing and Transformation. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Debbie join

After 10 years of working in the divorce business, Judith Weigle reflected on the couples who were able to communicate well and navigate the process with less stress. And she identified the elements of what she calls a Heart-Healthy Divorce. So, what steps can you take to make your divorce more amicable and less acrimonious? Judith is Founder of Divorce Resource, Inc., a firm that provides both mediation and filing services for divorces, legal separations, paternity cases, and post-judgment revisions of settlement agreements. She has 12 years of experience as a mediator and 10 years in private practice family law. Judith also serves as host of The Amicable Divorce Expert Podcast. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Judith joins Katherine to share the four ingredients of a Heart-Healthy Divorce, explaining how to settle the emotional divorce before you file for a legal one. Judith discusses how to compartmentalize your time, using work as a respite and scheduling specific times to address your divorc

Communication breakdown in a marriage often leads to divorce. But the way your partner triggers your nervous system often has nothing to do with them and everything to do with trauma you’ve experienced in the past. So, what if you could change the way your mind accesses that trauma and stay present with your partner in those moments? Dr. Don Wood, PhD, is CEO of the Inspired Performance Institute and creator of the patented TIPP method for clearing the effects of traumatic events and rebooting the brain for peak performance. Dr. Wood is also the author of two bestselling books, Emotional Concussions and You Must Be Out of Your Mind. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Wood joins Katherine to explain how communication breaks down when the mind perceives a threat and describe how his TIPP method neutralizes our fight-or-flight response. Dr. Wood walks us through his memory reset process, weighing in on how unresolved trauma adversely effects our physical and mental health. Listen in to understand

Matthew Fray considered himself a good guy. He didn’t lie. He didn’t cheat. He wasn’t violent. But his wife didn’t trust him, and the marriage ended in 2013. What subtle cues did Matthew miss? What led his ex to believe she couldn’t count on him? Today, Matthew is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. His work has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal and The Atlantic, among many other media outlets. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Matthew joins Katherine to discuss his book, This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships. Matthew shares the mistakes he made in his own marriage, explaining why conversations broke down any time he disagreed with his ex’s thoughts or feelings. Listen in for insight on what it means to be trustworthy in a relationship and learn how to honor your partner’s experience when they ask for help or tell you something’s wrong. T

In 2013, Ellen Bruno released the documentary Split: Divorce Through Kids’ Eyes. In the film, 12 kids aged six to 12 share their experience of their parents’ divorce. Ten years later, Ellen sat down with the same 12 kids for a sequel, Split UP: The TEEN Years. What did she learn about how to best support children through the process of divorce? Ellen is an award-winning filmmaker with a background in international relief work. She is on a mission to change the culture of divorce in our country through her films and the Split Outreach Project. Ellen is also a recipient of both Guggenheim and Rockefeller Fellowships, a Goldie Award for Outstanding Artist and the Shenkin Fellowship from the Yale University School of Art. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Ellen joins Katherine to explain how kids benefit from hearing straight talk about divorce from other kids. Ellen shares key lessons from the new film, describing how much time and energy kids spend caretaking their divorced parents and why it’s crucial

Most women realize that the right team can help us move through the divorce process more quickly and easily. But what if you’ve already got a therapist and supportive friends and family—and you still feel stuck? Wendy Sterling is a top divorce recovery coach and healer, life transition specialist and creator of The Divorce Rehab program. She also serves as host of The Divorced Woman’s Guide podcast. Wendy helps newly divorced women who are having trouble moving forward find joy, self-worth and freedom, and her work has been featured on NBC, The List and Thrive Global, among many other media outlets. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Wendy joins Katherine to explain what differentiates a divorce coach from a therapist and describe how she helps divorced women identify what we want and build a vision for the future. Wendy discusses what a divorce coach can do that friends and family cannot and walks us through the five steps of her signature Divorce Rehab program. Listen in for Wendy’s insight on giv

Do you have a hard time saying NO for fear of letting people down? Do you say YES out of obligation and then resent being coerced into something you didn’t really want to do? To make relationships work, it’s important to set clear boundaries. But first, you’ve got to take the time to figure out what you want. Leanne Kanzler is a psychologist and breakup coach who helps clients get to where they deserve to be, a happier and more content place within themselves. Leanne has supported thousands of people on setting boundaries through her one-to-one coaching, group coaching, and Breakup to Breakthrough online program. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Leanne joins Katherine to explore how boundaries demonstrate respect for yourself and others and explain how to overcome the fear of telling someone what you want. Leanne discusses the idea of a transformational breakup, describing how divorce can be an opportunity for self-discovery, growth and learning. Listen in for Leanne’s insight on navigating lonel

If your identity is wrapped up in being a wife, a mother and a corporate executive, what happens if you lose your job? Or your kids leave the nest? Or you get a divorce? In the year leading up to her 50th birthday, all three of those things happened to Jennifer Arthurton at once. And the future seemed like a big black hole. But then Jennifer realized she had much wisdom and experience to share, and she reinvented herself. Today, Jennifer is the empowerment coach, podcast host, writer and speaker behind Old Chicks Know Sh*t, a community designed to inspire and support women in midlife in chasing our dreams. In making her own midlife course corrections, she developed a passion for helping other women uncover the inherent knowledge and power we possess—at a time when we often feel overlooked and doubt ourselves most. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Jennifer joins Katherine to explain what makes the transition to midlife tumultuous for many women and explore how to connect with yourself and create a

When it comes to money management, many married women either defer to their partners or work out a financial division of labor. But the paradigm shifts if you’re getting a divorce. And you may be insecure in your ability to manage money on your own for the first time. So, how do you overcome the confidence gap and build a successful financial life for yourself post-divorce? Harvard Business School Graduate and Money Mindset Coach Britt Williams Baker is Cofounder of Dow Janes, a financial education and empowerment platform that helps women pay off debt and get invested. Britt and her business partner, Laurie-Anne, believe that everyone deserves the confidence, clarity and peace of mind that comes with having your finances handled. And to date, they’ve helped 8,000-plus women set up long-lasting money systems and invest for the first time. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Britt joins Katherine to discuss the concept of a money persona and explain why rewriting the story you’re telling yourself about

So, you’d like to take the high road in your divorce, but you’re afraid you’ll get screwed in the process. If you ask Andy Heller, that is a flawed way to look at things. In fact, he contends that there’s a positive correlation between conflict and cost in divorce. And you can save money and protect your health and wellbeing by letting some things go and incorporating empathy into actions that affect your ex. Andy is the author of Take the High Road: Divorce with Compassion for Yourself and Your Family, a roadmap of best practices to make divorce easier for you, your children and your former spouse. In the book, Andy leverages his personal experience with divorce and background as businessman and real estate investor to communicate practical strategies that replace battleground tactics with a healthy, supportive process that works for all involved. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Andy joins Katherine to share the business skills that helped him navigate divorce effectively, like presenting two

Divorce is scary, especially if you're not confident in your ability to manage money independently. But what if the end of your marriage is not the financial Armageddon you fear? What if it's actually an opportunity to take control of your financial future? David Stolz is a certified public accountant, personal financial specialist and certified divorce financial analyst. David has more than 20 years of experience working in the areas of tax and divorce financial planning, and he's the author the new release Women, Divorce and Money: Taking Control of Your Finances and Your Future. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, David joins Katherine to discuss what inspired him to write the book and why it focuses specifically on women. David shares his experience with clients in a contested divorce, describing why it's crucial to understand the whole picture of what you owe and what you own before you negotiate a divorce settlement. Listen in for David's insight on making clear financial decisions in a st

If you’re in the process of getting a divorce, you’ve probably had enough with lawyers. So, why should you consider hiring yet another attorney? Because if you fail to enlist the help of a lawyer who specializes in estate planning and asset protection, your ex-spouse will have the power to make important decisions about your life. Decisions you no longer trust them to make. Asset Protection Advocate Harry Barth is Founder and Senior Managing Partner at Barth Calderon, LLP and coauthor of the book Planning Today for All Your Tomorrows. A nationally recognized speaker on estate, business and asset protection planning, Harry has 40-plus years of experience helping thousands of families protect the assets they’ve worked hard to build. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Harry joins Katherine to explain why he suggests modifying healthcare directives, powers of attorney, wills and trusts in the early stages of divorce. He encourages us to make decisions about the division of assets in the form of a prenup