Dialogue On Divorce

For adult children with aging parents, the current health crisis is particularly stressful. Some of us are caring for Mom or Dad at home without the help we’re used to. Others are cut off from our loved ones in nursing homes or assisted living facilities. So, what’s the best way to navigate our new role as caregiver if an elderly parent is home with us? Or stay connected to our aging parents if we can’t see them face-to-face? Barbara Newman-Mannix is the Founder and CEO of A Dignified Life, a consultancy that helps families understand and manage major life transitions. ADL develops care plans for elder parents and loved ones with chronic illness, connecting families with the professional services they need. Barbara is a fierce advocate for families, supporting them through the difficult healthcare, insurance, legal and financial challenges that come with navigating change around eldercare, end-of-life, divorce or special needs. On this special episode of Divorce Dialogues, Barbara joins Katherine to disc

Multiple songs have been written about the futility of trying to make someone love you. But if that someone is your spouse, you may spend years (and a lot of money) in the attempt. So, how do you know when it’s time to let go and go through with a divorce? Dr. Frederick Tiesenga is an award-winning, board certified bariatric surgeon dedicated to helping people achieve a healthier lifestyle. He is also the author of I Do Until I Don’t: A Surgeon’s Story of Divorce and Healing, a collection of his experiences through marriage and divorce. In the book, Dr. Tiesenga gets real about what a healthy marriage should look like and shares his hard-earned insights into divorce. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Tiesenga joins Katherine to share the story of his own contentious divorce, describing what he did to try and save the marriage—and why it didn’t work. He offers his take on why a prenuptial agreement is a necessity and discusses what couples can do to communicate their needs before it’s too late. Liste

The Coronavirus has us all concerned about both our physical and financial health. The economic impact of the pandemic has changed the value of everything overnight, making the process of dividing assets for a divorce settlement particularly challenging. So, what’s the best way to cope with the uncertainty? And what are our options if we need cash in hand right now? Steve Kaplan is the founder and owner of Steve Kaplan CPA, a practice focused on dispute resolution services out of White Plains, NY. He has 30-plus years of experience in public practice, developing an expertise in business valuation, financial analysis and settlement support. Steve is trained in Collaborative Divorce Practice and mediation, and he is often called upon to speak on a variety of tax, forensic accounting and matrimonial dissolution topics. On this special episode of Divorce Dialogues, Steve joins Katherine to offer advice on dealing with the current economic uncertainty, reminding us that portfolio values always come back after a

There is no precedent for how to negotiate a divorce under the current circumstances. We simply can’t ask what a division of assets looks like during a Coronavirus pandemic because it’s never happened before! So, how can divorcing couples get creative and collaborate on financially neutral solutions that serve both parties? Michelle Smith is the Founder and CEO of Source Financial Advisors, a wealth management and divorce financial planning firm based in New York City. Michelle has spent the majority of her 29 year career helping clients navigate complex financial issues, and as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst designation and divorce mediator, has a specialty in divorce. She has recently created and trademarked a 12-month educational program for women transitioning from divorce to their own financial independence called Wife2CFO. On this special episode of the podcast, Michelle joins Katherine to explain why there’s never been a better time for divorce mediation and share her strategy for building an

Among the most painful aspects of divorce is not being able to see our children for extended periods of time. And the holidays can be especially difficult. So, what do divorcing parents need to consider as we negotiate a parenting plan that works for everyone involved? What can we do to protect our kids through the process and design an agreement that is as fair as possible? Elyse Golweber has 30-plus years of experience in the realm of matrimonial law, family law and the dissolution of business partnerships. She began her career as a trial attorney for the US Department of Justice and served as a lawyer for the SEC’s Division of Enforcement before founding Goldweber Epstein in 1995. Elyse currently serves on the Family Law Committee of the Women’s Bar Association and the Matrimonial Committee of the Association of the Bar of the City of New York. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Elyse joins Katherine to discuss the role of creativity in building a parenting plan specific to the family involved. She ex

Conventional wisdom tells us that divorce has a negative influence on children. And yet, the research reveals that it’s the level of parental conflict that has the greatest adverse impact on kids—whether their parents stay married or not. So, how can we work WITH our ex to make the transition a little easier on our children?  What can we do to step up and be parents for our kids when they need us most? Dr. Jeffrey Zimmerman is a licensed psychologist with more than 35 years of experience supporting individuals and families through the stress of separation and divorce. Dr. Zimmerman is trained as a mediator, parenting coordinator, and collaborative divorce professional, and he earned the Connecticut Psychological Association’s Distinguished Contribution to the Practice of Psychology Award for his work with high-conflict families of divorce. Dr. Zimmerman is also the coauthor of Adult Children of Divorce, The Co-Parenting Survival Guide, and Loving Your Children More Than You Hate Each Other. On this episode

Selling your home is a complex process in and of itself. But selling your home because of divorce adds another layer of complexity. How do you make decisions with an ex when you’re already struggling to communicate? Lou Rodriguez is a professionally trained and certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist and Real Estate Probate Specialist based in South Florida. He has 19 years of experience in valuing homes and analyzing market trends, and in that time, he has closed on more than 700 transactions. Lou is also the author of For Sale by Divorce: The Expert’s Guide to Divorce and Property Division and Selling Your Home During Divorce: How Everyone Can Win. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Lou joins Katherine to discuss the role a real estate divorce specialist plays in helping couples sell a marital property. He explains why it’s important NOT to disclose that a couple is divorcing, how he handles the situation when the couple is not getting along, and what he does when they disagree on how much to invest i

As you negotiate a divorce settlement, it’s useful to think about assets like a bowl of fruit. While it might look like an apple and a pear have the same worth, it’s crucial to solicit the advice of a professional to ensure that what appears to be a 50/50 split is truly equal. So, how can a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) help you navigate the divorce-specific items in the tax code and negotiate a fair settlement with your former spouse? Nancy Hetrick is the CDFA behind Smarter Divorce Solutions, an Arizona firm dedicated to helping couples craft settlements that are a win-win for both parties. Nancy has 20-plus years of experience as a financial advisor, and she is trained in both mediation and Collaborative Divorce. She was a 2014 Finalist for the BBB Business Ethics Awards and the 2015 Winner of NAWBO’s Business Owner of the Year, and Nancy is the author of Divorce is Not for Dummies: How to Cover Your Assets. On this episode, Nancy joins Katherine to explain what differentiates a CDFA from ot

It’s no surprise that divorcing couples deal with strong emotions. And yet, we know that our brains work best when we’re in the Calm Zone. So, how do we manage the feelings of anxiety, anger or sadness that come up in the divorce process? How do we bring ourselves back to that quiet, problem-solving mode so that we can divorce with dignity? Dr. Susan Heitler is a clinical psychologist specializing in the treatment of anxiety, depression, anger and marital difficulties. Educated at Harvard and NYU, Dr. Heitler is the author of several books, including Prescriptions Without Pills: For Relief from Depression, Anger, Anxiety and More and The Power of Two: Secrets to a Strong and Loving Marriage. She is often called upon to present training workshops for therapists around the world, and Dr. Heitler’s work has been featured in Men’s Health, Woman’s World, Parenting and Psychology Today, among many other media outlets. On this episode, Dr. Heitler joins Katherine to share her Bump Theory of dealing with life’s ch

If you’re divorcing a member of the military or you’re a servicemember yourself, there are a number of complexities around the process that make it different from a civilian divorce. So, what are the special considerations associated with military divorce? John P. Cannon is the founder of Cannon & Associates, an Oklahoma City firm with expertise in military divorce and criminal defense. He is also a Judge Advocate in the Oklahoma National Guard, advising and representing Soldiers in matters of adoption, divorce and child custody. A former assistant district attorney, public defender and assistant attorney general, John serves as a fierce advocate for families and freedom. On this episode, John joins Katherine to discuss how military divorce differs from non-military divorce and why servicemembers with substantial combat experience are more likely to divorce. He explains how to assess the income potential of a servicemember for spousal support and what the Frozen Benefit Rule means for former military spouse

How do you reclaim your power after a divorce—especially if the breakup wasn’t your decision? It starts with making yourself a priority and getting the support necessary to step out of your role as a victim. And if you’re willing to explore your trauma and do the work necessary to heal, the reward is an opportunity to contribute your best self to the world. Denise LaRue is the trauma-informed life coach behind Denise LaRue Coaching, a practice dedicated to helping women reclaim their power and pursue life on their terms. After 15 years spent climbing the corporate ladder, Denise realized that something was missing. That’s when she traded in the golden handcuffs for a life of freedom and fulfillment. Today, Denise leverages her personal experiences to help clients navigate seasons of change, get unstuck and create their own purpose-filled life. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Denise joins Katherine to discuss her role as a trauma-informed life coach, explaining how our childhood experiences shape the a

The early stages of a relationship with a narcissist feel perfect. They are charming and charismatic and make you feel like you’re a part of something bigger than yourself. But when something seems too good to be true, it usually is. And without fail, being with a narcissist evolves into a situation where you’re always trying to please and everything is your fault. So, how do you take the first steps to leave a narcissist? And how do you take care of yourself in the divorce process? Lisa Cheatham is a Transformational Life Coach who works with high-achieving women recovering from toxic relationships. She is on a mission to inspire and empower women transitioning through divorce, helping them step into their power and get their life back. Lisa leverages her personal experience with narcissistic abuse to support others in cultivating the confidence and unshakable self-love necessary to move forward and rebuild their lives. On this episode, Lisa joins Katherine to explain what a relationship with a narcissist

Forgiveness is hard, especially in the aftermath of a divorce. We don’t want to let our ex ‘get away with’ what they did to hurt us. But most of us realize that carrying resentment, anger and bitterness doesn’t benefit us in any way. So, how can we begin to let go of our negative emotions and forgive a former partner? Commonwealth Professor Emeritus Dr. Everett Worthington is a leader in the field of forgiveness research, religion and spirituality in clinical practice, and the hope-focused approach to marriage and family counseling. His interest in forgiveness began in the mid-1980’s when he was counseling couples professionally, and he started studying the topic scientifically in 1990. Dr. Worthington is the author of 30-plus books and more than 350 academic articles and chapters on the subject, and he is on a mission to promote forgiveness in every willing heart, home and homeland. On this episode, Dr. Worthington joins Katherine to explain why our drive for fairness and justice makes it difficult to forg

Communicating with an ex is ripe with triggers, and it’s easy to get overwhelmed by our emotions and react in a volatile way that we’re not proud of after the fact. But there are mindfulness tools to help us pause in the moment, observe what we’re feeling, and respond in a skillful way. Joree Rose is the licensed marriage and family therapist behind the Bay Area Mindfulness and Therapy Center, a practice that offers mindfulness and meditation classes as well as private therapy for individuals and couples. She is also the host of Journey Forward with Joree Rose and the author of Squirmy Learns to be Mindful and Mindfulness, It’s Elementary. Joree leads mindfulness retreats around world, and her work has been featured in Oprah Magazine, Inc. Magazine and mindbodygreen, among many other media outlets. On this episode, Joree joins Katherine to discuss how mindfulness can help us respond rather than react in the divorce process. She shares her practical approach to starting a simple meditation practice and expla

Divorce is difficult enough. But if you’ve been married for many years and your identity is wrapped up in your role as a partner and parent, the process can be even more fraught. What makes midlife divorce particularly challenging? And how do you move on from a relationship that defined you for so long? Fiona Eckersley is the Confidence Coach and Divorce Recovery Expert behind Find Your Fabulous, a coaching practice that helps women in their forties and beyond heal after divorce. She is also the creator of the Fabulous and Thriving Midlife Divorce Program and author of the Amazon bestseller Fearful to Fabulous: Unlock Your Power, Move On, and Thrive After Midlife Divorce. On this episode, Fiona joins Katherine to discuss the particular challenges associated with midlife divorce. She explains what it means to unlock your power in the aftermath of divorce, offering strategies for quieting negative self-talk and recognizing the truth of who you really are. Listen in for Fiona’s 7-step process for moving on aft

Curious what your soon-to-be ex-spouse isn’t telling you? If you suspect that your former partner is hiding assets, but you don’t want to hire a forensic accountant until you’re sure, it may be time to talk to an intelligence firm. So, what role does an investigator play in the divorce process? And who are they best equipped to help? Philip Segal is the Managing Member of Charles Griffin Intelligence, a fact-finding firm that helps clients uncover assets, conduct due diligence, and locate witnesses. Staffed by lawyers, Charles Griffin draws on a global network of investigators to help other lawyers, corporations and individuals who are contemplating or in the midst of litigation. Philip is also the author of The Art of Fact Investigation: Creative Thinking in the Age of Information Overload. On this episode, Philip joins Katherine to discuss his role in gathering facts for a divorcing client, explaining how he goes about finding concealed assets. He speaks to how his work differs from that of a forensic acc

So, you’re ready to start dating again after divorce, but you don’t want to make the same mistakes as last time. How can you do an autopsy on your marriage to understand what worked and what didn’t? How can you get clear on who YOU are and what you’re looking for in a partner? How can you find a compatible connection and then establish a loving relationship that lasts? Bernadette Smith is the creator of Compatible Connections, a boutique coaching firm that specializes in helping divorced women become confident, conscious daters. With 10-plus years of experience as a certified dating and relationship expert, Bernadette is dedicated to helping every woman she works with find the love of her life after divorce. On this episode of the podcast, Bernadette joins Katherine to explain how she defines compatibility and what you can do to screen for it before a first date. She shares the importance of getting clear on who you are and what you want in a relationship, offering insight on how to partner with yourself FI

It’s never really just about the numbers. Money is emotional, and our feelings about finances reflect what’s going on inside. This is especially true for divorcing couples making major money decisions that will impact the rest of their lives. So, how can we navigate those emotions and design a financial plan that makes sense for both parties? Ivy Menchel is the Founder and President of Family Wealth Planning Partners, a firm that specializes in divorce financial analysis. She leverages her 25 years of experience in financial services to support matrimonial attorneys, divorce mediators and their clients in assessing their options for fair and equitable settlements. Ivy is committed to empowering divorcing couples to make sound financial decisions for today—and into the future. On this episode, Ivy joins Katherine to share her experience as an adult child of divorce, describing how the circumstances influenced her work as a financial planner. She explains the advantage of having a financial neutral in the div

To divorce with dignity, couples need closure. Until we’ve said goodbye to the relationship, we simply can’t let go of the blame and shame of the breakup and reach a peaceful resolution. But what does that look like? How can we work through the grief early on, so that we don’t end up having very expensive arguments in an attorney’s office? A relationship expert with four decades in private practice, Dr. Bonnie Eaker-Weil is widely recognized as one of America’s best couples therapists. She is the bestselling author of several books, including Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples and Adultery: The Forgivable Sin. Dr. Bonnie has appeared on Good Morning America, The Today Show and Oprah, and her work has been featured in The New York Times and New York Magazine, among many other publications. On this episode, Dr. Bonnie joins Katherine to explain why it’s crucial to say goodbye to an old relationship before you can say hello to a new one and describe how children express

Will I ever be good enough? If you’re married to a narcissist, chances are you’ve struggled with this question. But the truth is, it’s impossible to please a narcissist, and you may need to leave the relationship. So, what can you do to prepare for the divorce process? Is there any way to avoid a high-conflict divorce? How can you protect your children and offer them the empathy they can’t get from a narcissistic parent? Dr. Karyl McBride is a marriage and family therapist with 30-plus years of experience in public and private practice. An expert in the realm of narcissism and trauma recovery, Dr. McBride is a regular contributor at Psychology Today and the author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers and Will I Ever Be Free of You? How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist and Heal Your Family. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. McBride joins Katherine to discuss narcissism, describing the narcissist’s characteristic lack of empathy and need to