Creating A Family: Talk About Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting internationally. If so, you really should listen to this interview with the great Dr. Dana Johnson, MD, PhD. He is a Professor of Pediatrics in the Division of Neonatology at the University of Minnesota Medical School. Dr. Johnson founded the International Adoption Clinic at the University of Minnesota. In this episode, we discuss:Prenatal exposure to alcohol and drugs: How common in international adoption? How much and when in the pregnancy? What does the impact look like in an infant, preschooler, school-aged child, and older?AlcoholOpioidsCocaineMethamphetamineMarijuanaCigarettesPrenatal stress: Does maternal stress during pregnancy have a long-term impact on the child? Is this something that adoptive parents will know other than by assuming from reading the files?How heritable are mental illnesses?DepressionBi-polarSchizophreniaHow heritable are the following?ADHDIntelligence or academic successAttachment issues

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We’re 5 years in trying to conceive and I’m TIRED. I have an opportunity to adopt an unborn baby girl. My question is, does it get any easier dealing with the infertility, the failure, the empty feeling? Does your heart stop breaking every month when you know you’re not pregnant? I’m so afraid that I’m gonna get this little baby but still need more…. hope I didn’t offend anyone!Resources:Coming to Terms with Infertility Grief Before You Adopt (Suggested Books)Parenting After InfertilityBreastfeeding the Adopted ChildSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family bu

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join us to talk with Cam Lee Small about his new book, The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment.In this episode, we talk about:You wrote this book for Christian adoptees. Why that specific audience?Adoptees have been objectified, scrutinized, and infantized. Can you give examples of where you see this?The narrative surrounding adoption, especially international adoption: you were saved, you are better off, God called us, etc.Loss and grief that is inherent in adoption. Ambiguous loss and disenfranchised grief.Is trauma a part of all adoptions?What are the stages of recovery from trauma and how can adoptive, foster, and kinship parents help with this recovery?“The cost of gratitude-driven silence is high.”I am adopting (kin) a two-year-old girl and planning to keep her basic birth story as part of open conversation. She has details in her story that may be difficult to hear and I would like to keep those from h

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: Hello! I’ve been listening to the podcast for a little while now as I consider my desire to adopt. I’ve had many models around me who adopted their children, and although the process is difficult, I have a desire to provide a home to children in need. It seems like now adoptions are declining for various reasons, and I’m trying to consider my motivations and whether it is right for me and my husband. One of our considerations is that my husband has a physical disability, and I wonder if there is anyone or data about how likely/quickly it’s possible for someone with a significant physical disability to adopt (domestic infant or international). My husband is very physically independent and is the breadwinner in our family. We have not started seriously contacting agencies as we hope to wait a few years before considering starting our family.Resources:Types of Adoption (Domestic, International, Foster Care)Choosing an Adoption AgencyAffo

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you want to help your adopted or foster child work through the big issues they may face in life? Join our discussion of the seven core issues with Allison Davis Maxon, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She is the co-author of Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency, The Seven Core Issues Workbook for Parents of Traumatized Children and Teens, and The Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency Workbook for Children and Teens.In this episode, we cover:The 7 core issues in adoption and foster care: Loss, Rejection, Guilt/Shame, Grief, Identity, Intimacy, Mastery/ControlThese 7 core issues impact all adoptees and foster kids to some degree and are crucial for adoptive and foster parents to understand.They also impact all members of the adoption or foster care triad: adoptee or foster child or adult, birth parent, and adoptive/foster parent. Today, we will focus primarily on how these 7 core issues impact adoptees and those who spe

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you in infertility treatment but possibly considering adoption? Dawn outlines what couples may be considering, which indicates they are ready to consider adoption.Resources:Parenting After InfertilityTypes of AdoptionAffording AdoptionThis podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family buildingSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join us to talk with Dr. Kimberly McKee about her book, Adoption Fantasies: The Fetishization of Asian Adoptees from Girlhood to Womanhood.In this episode, we cover:This book explores how Asian women and girls, specifically Asian adoptees in the US, negotiate the sensationalism and fictional portrayal of adoption in US popular culture.“Modern Family” and “Sex and the City” (and “And Just Like That…”) “Sideways”Soon-Yi Previn and Woody AllenThe limits of multiculturalism How does adoption play into the fetishization of female Asian adoptees?  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family buildingPlease leave us a rating or review R

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.As a mom of four children through birth and adoption, I’ve been there and done that in terms of parenting. I’ve made more than my share of mistakes and have had my share of successes as well. I’ve also had the privilege of interviewing the top parenting experts over the last almost 17 years we’ve been doing the Creating a Family podcast. It can be hard in the heat of the moment (and there are plenty of hot moments in parenting) to remember too many “rules”.  Listen for my top two tips for parenting.Resources:Parenting Kids with Challenging Behavior (Resource page)Raising Kids with Neurodiversity - ADHD, Autism, & Learning Differences (Resource page)Managing Technology & Screens (Resource page)This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following t

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Children adopted from foster care or from abroad have often experienced abuse, neglect, or trauma. These children require a different form of parenting. In 2015, we interviewed Dr. Karyn Purvis, author of The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family, and the founder and Director of the TCU Institute of Child Development. In this episode, we cover:Why is parenting kids who have been abused or neglected different from traditional parenting?What are the 3 most important things I should do during the first 6 months home with a newly adopted child?How can we discipline our children while still remaining connected and creating attachment?How can we help a child who has tantrums whenever he hears the word “no” or is told he can’t do something?How long should parents stay home (if possible) when you adopt?An adult adoptee asks: I’ve seen before where you say that “Adoptive parents become the biological parents through connection.

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My foster child only likes junk food and will not eat anything that doesn’t come out of a box. We aren’t fanatics, but we try to eat pretty healthily. I don’t want to feed the rest of my family the boxed junk, and I don’t want to feed him separate stuff. Help!Resources:Food Issues (Resource page)Raising Foster Children (Resource page)Creating a Family Online Support Group This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family buildingPlease leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamilySupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-pr

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.We talk a lot about the child's experience in foster care, but what is this experience like for the child's birth parents? You may be surprised! Join our conversation with Dr. Darcey Merritt, a professor at the University of Chicago School of Social Work who researches this topic.In this episode, we cover:What is a typical scenario, if there is such a thing, of how a parent finds themselves connecting with the child welfare system?What rights do parents/birth parents have within the system?What are some of the challenges birth parents face before the child is taken into custody?What are some of the challenges that they face once the child is in foster care?How can you become an ally to the child’s parents?How does poverty factor in?Who most commonly reports a family to child welfare?How does race factor in?Research in the area of working memory on parental decision-making.This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a n

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.What are the red flags that may alert  that a potential agency may not have the child’s or your best interest in mind? Your adoption agency will guide your international adoption, so choose wisely. Dawn highlights some of the red flags to be aware of and Creating a Family has a 3-step process for finding an adoption agency, and we include a list of questions you must ask agencies before you select.  Note that all international adoption agencies must have Hague accreditation to place children in the US.Resources:US Dept of State Complaint RegistryInternational Adoption (Resource Guide)Questions to ask an international adoption agencyThis podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/bl

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Have you ever considered being a foster parent but thought that it was just too hard? You need to listen to this podcast with a group of experienced foster parents sharing the joys of being a foster parent.In this episode, we discuss:Why did you become a foster parent?We talk a lot about the challenges of fostering because we want people to go into it with realistic expectations, but we also need to talk about the many joys you have experienced as a foster parent. Let’s go around round-robin style to share some of the joys.Does the pain of when a child leaves outweigh the joys?Does it bother you that many of the children you love and care for won’t remember you?How to build a support system.This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-info

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I have been matched with a mom expecting twins any day now. One topic that was a particular stress point for us that we found difficult finding resources on was the logistics of flying/traveling with a true newborn, let alone two, and handling the waiting period for ICPC (Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children). We're working with a national agency and in our particular case, we live in Texas and our twins are being born in New York. We have a lot of questions.Is it better to fly or drive?Weighing the risk of communicable disease in an airport vs the risk of driving cross-country while sleep deprivedWhat the options if flying - carseat, plane bassinet, or carrying the infant?How to travel and feed the infant - powdered or pre-mixed formula?What is needed for the stay away from home while waiting for ICPC?Resources:Adopting a Child from Another State (CreatingaFamilyEd.org Online Course)Basic Baby Care (Cr

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join us to talk about the very important topic of youth suicide. Our guest will be Dr. Angela Tunno, a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Assistant Professor at Duke University Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Science. One of her areas of specialty is trauma-informed suicide prevention.In this episode, we cover:Suicide is one of the leading causes of preventable death in the US. How prevalent is suicide in the US for all ages?How common is suicide for people under 21? How common is suicide for children and youth in foster care or otherwise connected to child welfare?Why are youth in foster care at greater risk for suicide?What are some warning signs that a child or youth may be considering suicide?What are the risk factors for a youth or child who may be at greater danger of suicide?Are youth with other diagnoses more at risk for suicide? (For example, ADHD?)Who is in the position when a child is in foster care to recogni

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I was the one who wanted to adopt.  My husband agreed because I wanted it so bad, but now, I’m the one who wishes we hadn’t done it. We adopted a 5-year-old little girl, who is now 7.  The awful truth is that I don’t love this child. I don’t even like her very much. I wish I could turn back the clock. Resources:Creating and Cultivating Attachment (Resource)Understanding and Overcoming Blocked Care (Free Course)Creating a Family Online Support GroupThis podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family buildingSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you confused about having an open adoption? Do you worry about what this means for your family. Join us today to talk about open adoption with Sara Easterly, an adoptee, Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, a birth parent, and Lori Holden, an adoptive parent. In addition to co-authoring the book, "Adoption Unfiltered", they host a podcast of the same name.In this episode, we cover:What is meant by the term “open adoption”?Contact vs. openness.What open adoption is not:Co-parentingA courtesy to birth parentsConfusing to the kidsAbout/for the parentsWhat are some of the challenges of open adoption from the birth parents’ perspective?Lack of understanding of what open adoption means when they place their child.Renewed pain after each contactTwo vs. oneLack of powerFearWhat are some of the challenges of open adoption from the adoptive parents’ perspective?What are some of the challenges of open adoption from the adoptee's standpoint?What

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: Hubby and I are finally ready to take the plunge and become foster parents. We wanted to wait until our youngest was in high school. We’ve started listening to your podcast, and you’ve mentioned on several of the shows that we would likely have a choice between the local county child welfare agency and a private agency. Which should we choose?Resources:Choosing a Foster Care Agency (Resource page)Becoming a Foster Parent (Resource page)Working as Part of a Foster Care Team (Resource page)This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family buildingPlease leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamilySupport the

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you worry about applying the Reasonable and Prudent Parent Standard as a foster parent? Check out this interview with Rhonda Serrano, a senior attorney at the ABA Center on Children and the Law, and Kate Schultz, the Deputy Director at Foster Family Alliance of North Carolina and a licensed foster parent. In this episode, we cover:Where does the concept and term for “reasonable and prudent parent” come from?What were the problems that the reasonable and prudent parent standard is trying to address? The intent is to promote and support normalcy. Why is normalcy so important for foster youth?Who does this standard apply to? Does it apply to all children and youth in foster care?Why is the distinction between an “activity” vs. a “service” important? What is included in extracurricular activities?What is included as an enrichment activity? What is included in cultural activities?What is considered a social activity?Would these activities usually

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We’ve been waiting for 15 months for an expectant mom to choose us to adopt her baby. We finally got chosen, but I’m filled with fear. Are we the right family for this baby? Are we up to parenting her? Will we be ruining our lives and maybe hers? Resources:Evaluating Risk Factors in Adoption (Resource page)Raising a Child with Prenatal Substance Exposure (Resource page)Explaining Prenatal Substance Exposure, ADHD, and Autism (Suggested books)This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family buildingPlease leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamilySupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This p