Modern Manhood: The Podcast

In the second part of my conversation with Col Cseke we talk about what his journey was like being a man, his family and the ways they didn't conform to gender biases, and the many ways in which fatherhood has shaped the way Col see gender for life. 

When Calgary’s theatre community was faced sexual harassment accusations, a lot of men came together to lean into these discussions around the privilege of masculinity, these discussions mirror the discussions a lot of communities have been having. And it helps especially during these times to understand what that conversations looks and sounds like. I got a chance to talk to one member of that community who wants to see a change in how we see privilege and how he sees that community shaping that conversation. If you're in Calgary you can check out CART here. 

Poetry was something that Ahmed did but he hid it, until wife showed him a poetry club, and ever since then Ahmed has tried to show poetry to the world. He's the current Poet Laureate for Edmonton, and his love for his community and the love of the community he has in Edmonton lead him be nominated for that position. He was part of the Breathe in Poetry collective and has spoken about and with immigrants. There's a reason why I wanted to talk to Ahmed, his perspectives are limitless and he approaches so many things with empathy and love. It was inspiring to talk to him, and I hope you're inspired too.  Join Ahmed and Karen Teng for the launch of Otherwise Podcast on Sept 28th, and keep that show on your mind when you hear this episode. To find out more info check out the Otherwise Podcast. As well, if you want to check out Litfest there is a coupon code you can use if you check out the start of the show where you can get 5 bucks off. Go to litfestalberta.org for all the shows and tickets available in October.

Over all men between the ages of 25-29 were far more likely to get their sexual education from porn than any other form. Now anyone who has a passing knowledge of internet porn can see how problematic that can be, if everything you learn about sex is through these forms of entertainment. It’s like learning how to drive a car from action movies. Luckily as we have heard before from people like Bryony Cole, the sex tech industry is vastly evolving and now we have places where people can ask those sex questions that maybe you couldn’t ask your teacher, your mom, your dad, or hell even your doctor. Juicebox is an app that is made just for that, and I invited Brianna Rader the founder of Juicebox to tell us more about the app and how it can help men of all ages You can try out the app by using the code MANHOOD

On this episode we speak again to Matthew Hodges a little more deeply on his own foundations around masculinity, and his father and his family. And we also end on an inspiring note about equal rights that is threaded all over r/MensLib Matthew is also the host of Liquid Flannel and of The Bread Line German also did an AMA at r/menslib

I have long been a fan of Reddit’s MensLib subreddit just for things like their confidant and direct approach to tackling men's issues in an intersectional way, their constant and hardworking mods team, and the daily discussion on all things guys but in a way that’s inclusive, educated, and not made to vilify others. So I was so happy to have Matthew Hodges, the founder of MensLib on Modern Manhood to have a long discussion about why he wanted to start MenLib, the values and foundations of that community, and his own personal life. And as usual, we talked a lot so this will be in two parts. These are also the links The Gender Knot episode, and Next Gen Men's Patreon page.

“What does it means to be a man?” “What are the words you think of when we hear the words 'masculinity'?” These are some of the fundamental basic starting questions on your journey to this thing I like to call “exploring your own identity and gender.” Which kinda leads to critiquing societies idea of gender, which I hope leads to critiquing your ideas around gender. I am noticing more and more a lot of guys asking themselves that very basic but enlightening question. Tim Wenger is one of those guys, and he decided to start a project (The Man Effect) when he was questioning his own version of masculinity, asking people If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why? Well I wanted to find out more about his project, and what he has learned from it.

This is part two of our conversation with Michael Rowley who is a filmmaker from Dallas Texas, who also made a film about Palestinian youths, specifically who do parkour. The movie is called Hurdle (Hurdlefilm.com). Now the reason why I wanted to split this into two is to highlight the very vulnerable and very honest way in which Michael approaches identity, either his own or of the people around him, including his subjects. Michael also hands out some amazing advice that mirrors David Ogle's and that actually began from a conversation that he and another past guest, Remoy, had. The trailer of Hurdle is here: https://vimeo.com/231203737/ec9eb0a431

Michael Rowley is a filmmaker from Dallas Texas, who made a film about Palestinian youths, specifically who do parkour. The movie is called Hurdle (Hurdlefilm.com). Now what is interesting to me, is not so much that last sentence (even though that last sentence can be unpacked in so many ways), what’s interesting is the man, Michael Rowley. Michael, born in Texas, a place as idealistic as I can find living outside of it, a place that screams guns, catholicism and trucks (not so different than Alberta to be honest), Michael went on to film a movie about one of the most divisive areas in the world, Palestine. The trailer is here: https://vimeo.com/231203737/ec9eb0a431

Today we're starting something new at Modern Manhood, a conversation series with I will bring on some of my (and yours) favorite conversational guests to talk about what's going on the news, and what is going on with our lives. They're going to come at you sporadically, so think of them as bonus pods in addition to the regular Modern Manhood. On this episode, we speak to our buddy Jeff Perera about Anthony Bourdain's death, Chris Hardwick's allegations of abuse, and cats!  

The reason why I wanted to split this into two and make sure we get Jermal’s takes on masculinity right now is because he mentions a lot of key advice and ideas that have not been mentioned a whole lot lately, mainly about community and how men in general need to not only critique what goes around them (in a respectful way), but have the openness to be wrong. Critiquing is not a bad thing when done in an open manner, arguing for argument's sake...well that’s a different story. We might get stuck.

I was honored to talk about this and the research that Chataleine’s Editor at Large’s Rachel Giese has done to write the book “Boys: What It Means to Become A Man.” She has taken the time to look at what is going on in Canada in regards to the toxic forms of traditional western masculinity, interested in groups like WiseGuyz down in Calgary, and speakers like once and future guest Jeff Perera. We speak about her motivations for the books, what surprised her the most, complicity and the danger of “otherisms” in regards to #MeToo, and her call not only to the isolation of some men, but also to step back and think of the victims of violence. You can find the men's survey that Chataleine did here. If you want to see what Wolf Pack is about, they are making it happen in Calgary and in Toronto. Click the links to get your tickets. YESSPAINTING can be found here

For today’s guest, from the great city of Toronto, we have Jermal Alleyne. A leader of youth groups and men’s groups in two different capacities, one through Next Gen Men and one through the John Howard Society. This interview was fascinating to me because it’s very close to what I do here in Edmonton, and our approaches are similar but at the same time it’s great to hear it said out loud. We go through the differences of teaching the two, we also touch a bit about Jermal’s father, and his journey to working anti-violence work. You’ll hear part two of my conversation with Jermal on episode 57. But on the next Modern Manhood, we’re going to talk to Rachel Giese, the editor at large for Chatelaine about her new book all about Canadian masculinity.

If you remember last week, we spoke to performance coach David Ogle. I wanted to splice his conversation in two just because I feel, just like his company’s namesake, it’s good in doses. In the first half we talked about what he thought about being a man in a place that was “made for women,” and in this half I wanted to tease out some theories with him, one specifically about the roles of coaches as a form of therapy for men. David also tells us about his life changing moment, a moment he calls his “ok we’re turning a corner here” moment. And he also quotes some Disney to give us his end of show advice. Stick around for it. Our new sponsor is YESSPAINTING.COM which Youth Empowerment and Support Services are helping kids work and help out in the community

I wrote this piece for my little daily blog on Medium about life coaches and how I found them to be, kind of disingenuous. You know, giving you advice on what’s going on, and pretending to be nice so they can get money from you.  But I was surprised that I was asked to speak to David Ogle, who is a performance coach from Dose Coaching. He mentioned that he was curious about masculinity and how it shapes us, and was super keen to explore this with me. So I checked him out, and what I found was fascinating. We chatted for a while, and so for the sake of me not cutting his story, I’m going to split this into two parts. So this is part 1 with my conversation with David Ogle. Dose Coaching and it's Blog can be found here, also you should subscribe to their newsletter You can find the PodSummit info here

Led by Samantha Nzessi and Remoy Philip the first, MASKulinity podcast is a conversation about their lives and how masculinity was shaping it, from the female side and from the internal male side. I had a chance to talk to both Samantha and Remoy about the genesis of their show, the way masculinity is performed in their lives, and the work of media around our premises. Samantha and Remoy, both from Brooklyn, New York are in the middle of their second season, and they started off with a bang, bringing up scholar and savant Michael Kimmel from the Center for the Study of Men and Masculinities from Stony Brook University. You can also check out Remoy's blog here to find out about his interviews that I mention on the show

Gianmarco Visconti is a feminist gay young muslim poet who is one of the host and producers of the feminist talk radio Adament Eve. And I asked him from a recommendation to come to Modern Manhood to talk about his stories of his wrestling identity of being Muslim, to his life as a gay man, and how his name represents a small mask but something that he has embraced. Listening back to this episode, I kept coming back to this phrase of multiple identities, and how we can inhabit them, and also to think about what life is like for a gay muslim, which in itself sounds like rebellion in a homophobic and islamaphobic society.  If you want to check out Adament Eve, it’s airing on CJSR 88.5 in Edmonton on Fridays from 5:30pm to 6pm. If you want to go to see Doug Hoyer on March 17th, use the code APNROCKS to get 5 dollars off.

It’s our 50th episode of Modern Manhood! What an occasion! We have a special announcement which you can find out more through my blog post on Medium, basically Modern Manhood will be Modern Manhood Presented by Next Gen Men. So to give you a breadth of what NextGenMen are about, you’re going to hear one of their founders, Jake Stika, talk about the genesis of NGM. Jake will also talk about the work that they do, what the future looks like for them, feminism and it’s relation with men. We also sneak in some basketball talk in there. You can also find anything to do with NextGenMen at nextgenmen.ca including Modern Manhood. Buy some socks! They are pretty sweet.

Today we’re joined by one of my good friends, Lyndsay Chaban. We met almost 13 years ago, while working together at a big retail chain, both of us in customer service position, helping people with returns and complains. And I think, a theory of mine, in some weird way that has subconsciously informed us into the paths that she took. Working as a psychologist that is working with “Men’s Issues.” So I wanted to reconvene and chat with Lyndsay as to why she chose the path she took, and also, most importantly to dole out some great advice for men in regards to relationships, feelings, and anger. All of these informed from her own practice. If you need to seek counselling with someone who deals with men as a specification, you can check out Lyndsay at Summit Counselling Services,

Bryony Cole is leading the way, along with the many women of sex tech, in trying to understand what could be the healthy, and amazing future of sex, and how technology can be used to provide empathy, compassion, love, and positive interaction. She also cares a lot about how men are using these new technologies, and how pornography is being used in the day to day world. We got to chatting about dating apps, pornography, VR, sex education, among many other things. Check out the Future of Sex podcast anywhere you find good podcasts. If you’re in Australia, on March 23-25 there will be a Hackathon where you can help design, create and build the Future of Sex! You can find all that information if you go to futureofsex.org/hackathon. I’ll also put that up in the show notes.