Burgess Love

This time around: is it OK to wear a Geek Squad shirt for ironic reasons? How do I know if she’s actually my friend, considering the whole Geek Squad T-shirt situation?  Other stuff: Sam Neill threatens our children, Can you just become a Freemason?, Being a #swolboy, We don't understand Mickey Rourke.

Podcasters 29M/32M want to know - What happens when you accidentally realize you want to marry a cam girl? Or at least hang out for a bit?  Other talking points: Poorly planned wedding proposals, Rants in my Pants, and Eels? Eels are more dangerous than aspartame? Featuring Dutchy McOats. 

It's been like 5 months! Welcome us back! This episode: Sonic the Hedgehog is fine shut up, Kat fixes her broken bathroom, and the return of your favorite podcast bear! 2:30 - It's been five months 5 - Katrina went to Argentina!  12 - Sonic loves Mellencamp 19 - Stone Cold did what? 23 - KAT'S CORNER 33 - an update on RALL E. CAMEL 35 - WHAT'S MORE DANGEROUS THAN ASPARTAME

The boys celebrate Thanksgiving back home! Keldog returns! More guests are here! Teeth and foreskin?! 1:00 we're in the Motherland 2:30 What's In Pants's Glass? 8:00 Keldog's Corner 14:00 Mom, I'm growing too fast! 21:00 Drink break 27:00 Mom Reads Rap Lyrics 34:00 What's More Dangerous Than Aspartame 56:00 Andrew Cheats at Children's Games

This episode - Bob Barker kills your dog, Ladies Love Cool Things, we play games that you can’t play with us, and thank God we have an editor.  We have interactive games this time - see more on our website, www.burgess.love. 01:30 I'm not worth anything 03:00 A few bad Bob Barker impersonations 08:00 We're Not Bringing Lil Bow Wow Into This 16:30 BOSS FIGHT 33:00 Drink Break 34:00 another game you can't play, thanks 41:00 What's More Dangerous Than Aspartame?

The gang spends way too much time talking about how to be a millennial parent. Seriously, just Google it? 01:00 It feels like years. 02:00 I am the whirlpool 09:30 Why are so many podcasts named after butts 29:00 Pants rehashes old material for some reason 31:00 What's More Dangerous than Straws?

2 - Poem slamming 5 - What's in Pants' glass? 10 - Eat that spaghetti 13 - Backstory - the Strawberry Man 24 - Kat's Corner - Call before you fucking dig 27 - Make lasagna! 36 - Make brats? 45 - What's More Dangerous than Aspartame This week, call before you fuckin dig, learn to make lasagna under threat of death, and go ahead, suck on those toes, we guess.

Woody Harrelson gets naked, John Goodman has a mustache, we rob a bank. Who wants some eggs?  2 Martin Sheen + Woody 8 Inside a Bunker with John Goodman 13 Brought to you by... 22 Who wants some eggs? 32 BACKSTORY 40 An absolute shit show 50 What's More Dangerous than Aspartame?

Joe Biden is a super cool ghost, what the hell is wrong with Grape Nuts, and we learn how far Pants will go to seduce someone while wearing loud clothing.  0 - Well, this week's a wash 6:30 - What's in your glass? 9:30 - The Ghost of Joe Biden 17 - Backstory! 21 - Why do people eat Grape Nuts 27 - ASK PANTS ANYTHING 45 - Kat's Corner - Yet another Tinder date!!! 50 - What's More Dangerous than Aspartame?

This week - camels do coke, R Kelly makes a surprise guest appearance, Kat summons magic spiders, and an imaginary bear gives everyone important life advice.  3:00 WE LISTEN TO NPR 10:00 This podcast brought to you by 15:00 PASTA  20:00 We make Trump good 26:00 Gotta Go Piss (In The Woods) 31:00 KAT'S CORNER MAGIC 44:00 BE A LEADER 52:00 EAT CHEETOS 1:06 Strip clubs are the worst

The boys and Kit Kat celebrate 50 episodes! We dig into the vault and remember some of the good ol' times. Also, Trump stares at the sun, and Paul Giamatti guest stars, again! 00:30 Choose your own intro! 3:00 What's in your glass?! 9:00 The Sun Amiright 12:30 KAT'S CORNER 18:30 IT'S OUR 50TH EPISODE 48:00 A look back at some of our favorite episodes 56:00 BACKSTORY (no Batman!)

Kat gets hustled by a floor sander, Andrew is a surly teenager, everyone mispronounces LA CROIX, we all shock the monkey, and Bags tunes his "ick-tar."  00:45 - Pants runs analytics about Staind? 02:00 - Mom doesn't get Snapchat 07:00 - We have zero content prepared / Kat's Corner 11:00 - #ad  15:00 - Pants was a surly teenager 18:30 - What's in Pants's Glass? / Pants has a fancy dinner date 26:00 - KELDOG tells embarrassing stories about Bags 30:00 - KELDOG reads death metal lyrics 38:00 - What's More Dangerous than Aspartame? 

Pants turned 30, Bags fell and broke everything, Kat had a Tinder date with a paralegal, and everyone has sweaty summer butts. 1 Fake Howard Stern 3:30 What's In Your Glass? 11 It's my birthday, bitch 15:45 Bags fell. 35 Kat's Corner: What Is Tinder Ghosting? 48 What's More Dangerous Than Aspartame 

Pants fixes Washington, Kit Kat buys a house, and Robert knows how to get down. 00:45 That sounds bad  3:30 I'm concerned about our fans... 10:00 Kat's Corner - Kat bought a house! 15 Olive Garden is not safe for women 20 Pants fixes Washington 30 Pants gets his shit delivered  41 #WorstSong to play during the money shot of a porno 52 What's More Dangerous than Aspartame??

1 It's St Baggy's Day! 6 Pants has a bone to pick 24 Make America Ass Again 32 Kat's Korner 37 #WorstSong 50 Makes You Think With B Cobb 57 What's More Dangerous than Aspartame The gang (+ guests!) get tanked for St. Patty's Day, we talk about anuses, the Rock puts Billy Crystal through a god-dang table, and we play our favorite games, too, so sayeth the spider. Drink every time we say "drink"!

We'll squeal for ya, free planes for everybody, and Kit Kat gets dick pic'ed. 0 Didja fall in? 5 Pants & Susan  15 Kat's Corner! Our Millennial Housewife. 21 "That's some dude's wiener" 30 MiketheAdmin can't hear us 37 What's In Your Glass 41 Patrick Stewart is shit, apparently 45 2 Phones 51 What's More Dangerous than Aspartame

This week: We mansplain to our mother. Pants delves into Furry culture. Walter Mondale is a pussy. Crazy Uncle Donny is our president, we guess. And Keldog gets toasted and reads death metal lyrics. 0 How drunk is mom?  4 What's In Pants' Glass? 10 Lunchables are an unneeded declicacy. 14 Pants' first Thanksgiving 30 Crazy Uncle Donny is President 41 Keldog is old and dry 1:06: Mom reads death metal lyrics 1:19 What's More Dangerous than Aspartame

TBLC 43: Charles Heston Goes Nanners II: Chuck Fucks A Couch 0 Katrina Fucked Up the Beer Run 8 Bags wrestles as a federal judge 12 How do we rank against other podcasts? 20 Charles Heston Goes Nanners II 36 #WorstSong to have come on shuffle when you're 'in the mood' 57 What's More Dangerous than Aspartame? Mike Pence is a misogynist jar of mayonnaise, we're still in the Forbes 500, Charlton Heston fucks a piece of furniture, Pants attempts to make a Tinder account.

Pants has a run-in with the scary shovel guy from Home Alone. Bags is lost at sea. Are Amber Alerts more effective than milk cartons? (Yes). And finally, we're not as witty as we think we are. 0 Pants has an IMDB page 5 We'll do a greater than median job. 9 What's In Your Glass? 12 Are Amber Alerts more effective than milk cartons? 17:30 Pants has to at least try ASMR  24 Bags is lost at sea 40 DOUBLE BRAD 46 Pants makes a goddamn drink 54 Backstory: Hero Dad 56 #WorstSong to have as your ringtone during a job interview 1:09 What's More Dangerous than Aspartame? 

This week, it's the return of #Keldog. Our mom is back on the show, she's three Stoli's deep, and she's ready to rumble. We play all our favorite games, including mom reading death metal lyrics. She also recounts descriptive stories of our births. It's gross.  0 Every episode is special  5:30 What's in your glass? 13 Who Is Harambe? Our mom weighs in. 15:30 What Has Erik Committed to Memory 19 Backstory? Backgammon Story. 28 Oh my God, why are we talking about Bridgegate 31 Keldog AMA 48 Our mom gets fired from Burger King 54 Mom Reads Death Metal Lyrics 1:09 What's More Dangerous than Aspartame