Betch Slapped

Aleen, Sami, and Jordana are all here this week, but the latter two are tuning in from Miami. Why, might you ask? For Faux Pas of course! They’re bringing the goods to the sunshine state, and if you want them in your area then just ask (no literally, go to your local liquor store and ask them to carry Faux Pas). Now that we’ve addressed the cocktail, onto the main course: pop culture. First up is Coachella, and they share some personal desert experiences before diving into this year’s festival (and ofc address the Revolve fest mess). Then onto more drama: the A$AP and Rihanna cheating rumor, the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial, and the Blac Chyna vs the Kardashians trial. Pro tip: crack open a Faux Pas while you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The betches are back (all three this time) and they’ve got an exciting announcement: meet Faux Pas, the *delicious* canned cocktail (made by yours truly). Sami, Aleen, and Jordana give all the BTS info on their latest endeavor, including the inspo behind the beverage, all the different flavors, and how you can get ’em. Tune in for the tea—actually scratch that, tune in for the cocktail. Then onto pop cultah (as they say). You’ll need a drink for this one, ’cause there’s a lot going on. Britney Spears is pregnant, Bennifer is engaged (that green diamond tho), Hailey Bieber asks trolls to GTFO, Brooklyn Beckham & Nicola Peltz’s $$$ wedding, Julia Haart is stirring the company pot (again), and Rihanna’s pregnant Vogue cover is amazing. Told you, lots to sip over. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jordana is moving apartments today (again?) but Aleen and Sami are holding down the @ Betches fort. Sami starts off by sharing a Twitter thread (we know she loves her threads) about kids tuning into supernatural abilities—like ghost stuff. In other words, just a regular Thursday morning convo. After Aleen gets too freaked out, they dive into celeb news: Kourtney and Travis got married (sort of) and Erika Jayne has been named in her ex-husband’s lawsuit (much to debrief). Then onto TV drama: they review last week’s ep of The Dropout before sharing their thoughts on The Girl From Plainville. The episode wraps up with a quick fangirling of Amy Schumer— ’cause who doesn’t love Amy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After much jet-setting, the gang’s finally all here. Sami, Aleen, and Jordana are ready to dig into the sh*t show that is pop culture, but first, a recap of that jet-setting. Jordana just got back from her ~trip of a lifetime~ honeymoon, which included skydiving in Dubai (yes, she was terrified). Jordana, Aleen, and Sami then dive (so much diving today) into all the latest in celeb drama. First up is Meghan Markle’s new female-focused podcast, Archetypes. They have a couple q’s—why is Meghan’s voice different? And why does her intro kind of sound like Mean Girls? Then a quick convo about the topic of the hour (or of the last week, really), Will Smith’s Oscars slap—you know the one. They wrap up the ep with a quick chat about Hilaria and Alec Baldwin—and their seventh child. Much to discuss. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode begins in a dream—no literally, Aleen shares a very *unique* dream she had the other night including Succession, Gumby, and a coffee date (she and Sami ofc debrief). Then onto *real* pop culture news that feels like a dream: RHONY is renewed with a part new cast/part OG cast. Can’t you just feel the drama brewing already? Then onto the world of Kardadshians. Pete’s mom wants him to have a baby with Kim, Britney Spears doesn’t know who Pete is, & Kylie Jenner is undoing her son’s name (it was Wolf BTW). Sami & Aleen wrap up with some TV talk including And Just Like That’s szn 2 renewal, the new Netflix movie Windfall (SPOILERS start at 32:00 and end at 44:12), and a quick recap of some current favs: The Dropout, Life & Beth, and We Crashed. If you have any other recs, send ’em our way (with a 5 star review pls). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s ep, Aleen’s joining from Florida, Sami’s back from Switzerland but is tuning in from LA, and Jordana’s out on her honeymoon. It’s like a game of traveling musical chairs over here (and we’re v jealous). They start on Sami’s current coast, and dive into Vanderpump Rules’ Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz getting divorced. They pose the q we’re all wondering—how much of Katie and Tom’s relationship was just for TV? Speaking of chaotic (& LA based) families, Sami recaps the *insane* Pete and Kanye text convo, and Aleen shares a dream she had based on said texts (out here living, breathing, sleeping pop culture). Then onto Kim’s latest fumble where, (as a billionaire), she tells ppl to work harder—tune in for the debrief. Lastly, the ep wraps up with a recap of Aleen and Josh Peck’s reunion. Yes, the Josh from Drake & Josh—you def want to hear this story. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jordana and Aleen are holding down the fort this week while Sami skis in Gstaad (say that 10x fast). In more jetset news, Jordana’s leaving for her honeymoon tomorrow (to Sri Lanka & the Maldives—a dream) and Aleen’s taking baby Mila to Naples for the first time (the Florida one, to be clear). But first, a quick trip to pop culturedom. On today’s itinerary: Euphoria’s BTS drama rivals that of on-screen, Amy Schumer accidentally reveals Michael Cera has a baby (oopsies), and RHONJ has a *fab* cast dynamic. They then cover some other celeb news—including Amanda Bynes ending her 9 yr conservatorship (go girl) and the latest Kardashian tea surrounding their new show (talk about a trip)—before discussing TV’s hottest show rn, The Dropout. They wrap up the ep with a quick round of f*ck, marry, shoot—scammer edition, with Anna Delvey, Elizabeth Holmes, and the Tinder Swindler. The answers may surprise you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jordana’s out on a ~secret mission~ today (stay tuned for the big reveal next month), but Sami & Aleen are here and ready to clown around. They were all at their friend’s wedding this past weekend, and Aleen did some bragging about a certain Marvel (& Gossip Girl) actor who’s coming on the Betches’ U Up? podcast next week. Tune in for the tea. On the subject of acting, Sami & Aleen dive into all things Euphoria. While they have some mixed opinions about the szn finale (that serenade tho), there's no denying Rue, Cassie, et al. killed the acting game. Then onto a show that’s less strong in that department (but the crazy AF story carries you through): Inventing Anna. Aleen formally retracts all previous statements about hating it, as she did indeed end up watching the whole thing. Sami then reveals a different kind of con, well, it’s more like a religious cult for TikTok dancers (you’re gonna want to hear more about this one). They wrap up the ep with a RHOSLC debrief, including how they’d recast the show (Mary

Last week Jordana and Aleen got drinks (& got blackout), and the week before Jordana and Sami did the same. Enter a *brilliant* new concept: socializing (& drinking) with friends should be considered a hobby. They come to you, dear audience, for name ideas for this revolutionary hobby (send us your recs). And as friends do, the trio gets sidetracked with an impromptu HBO show rating—Sopranos is obvi at the top, but there’s some debate about 2nd & 3rd place. Then onto another star at the top—Ms. Britney Spears & her $15 million book deal (that’s bigger than J.K. Rowling’s btw). Speaking of wizardry, they chat about My Unorthodox Life’s Julia Haart, who has a life so wild it might as well be magic. They discuss her unfortunate downfall before diving into other chaotic TV topics: Summer House’s Amanda and Kyle have hit an all time *cringey* high (that stye tho); the play in Euphoria’s latest ep was v unrealistic; & J Lo and Owen Wilson have no sexual chemistry in Marry Me (but hey, at least we finally got a romc

This week, Aleen, Jordana & Sami are in the hot seat (no literally, they’re in person at the studio and it’s warm AF in there). They start off with some *high*ly interesting updates—yes, we’re talking about edibles. For one of our hosts, edibles are like skiing—she forgets that she doesn’t like it so she keeps trying, but it’s always a miss. The brilliant solution? Have a drink instead! Speaking of…um…weed, Snoop Dogg & all of the other nostalgic stars killed that half time show (Aleen was jumping on the couch clapping her hands). Sami wonders, though, if the SuperBowl would consider changing it up and throw in a live @ Betches podcast recording, perhaps? Then onto Kanye’s chaotic—but also really very sad—antics. Pete Davidson dated Hillary Clinton? And that photoshopped Marvel Civil War poster? A lot to unpack here. Onto other chaotic antics: Inventing Anna. While Sami and Aleen couldn’t get through the first episode, Jordana soldiered on—Anna Delvey’s true story is too wild to miss (that Marrakech trip tho)

Howdy y’all! Sami and Jordana are dashing off to Nashville right after this episode, and yes, Aleen is ofc jealous. Sami wishes she could pack her chess board (oh so relatable), but luckily Jordana’s bringing a deck of Monopoly Deal—watch out, Nashville! But before they jet off, Sami and Jordana discuss, well, a literal jet. Yup, they’re talking about Netflix’s Tinder Swindler and all of its absurdities. The private jets, the loans, and the obsessive love bombing. If you’re like Aleen and haven’t watched the exposé yet, then pls fast forward to 24:00—no spoilers! Then on to wealth that we know is real (cause that’s literally all they post about): the Kardashians. Aleen, Sami, and Jordana dive into the Kim & Kanye (& their kids) saga—which is honestly pretty sad—and then chat about Kylie’s new nameless bébé—born on 2/2/22—and speculate child names. The show wraps up with some much needed debriefs. First up is Euphoria’s latest ep—all in agreement that Zendaya killed that performance—and Sami shares a *mind blo

And just like that, Sami sadly has Covid. Luckily she’s feeling ok and spills the tea on her bougie (but also very handy) new rapid test machine. Or, as Jordana calls it, the Soho House of rapid tests. Trust us, you’re gonna want to listen in to learn more (only downside—no, it’s not bedazzled, but yes, Jordana and Aleen asked). Moving along, pop culture princess Rihanna announced her pregnancy this week and they reminisce about her greatest hits. Pon de Replay, Umbrella…oh, the good ole days. They also pose the q we’ve all been thinking: who in their right mind would wear that outfit during an NYC winter?! Then on to the trio’s true passion: Wordle. Obvi the New York Times listened to last week’s ep and realized they should buy the game—pls don’t blame us. Back to pop culture, they dive into the absurdity of RHONJ cast member Jennifer Aydin’s nose job from Turkey, the absolute chaos that is RHOSLC, and the standout performances from Euphoria’s latest ep (spoiler: more penises). Also, who tf is the mystery ch

And the Wordle of the day is…Yup, Aleen, Jordana, and Sami are just as obsessed with the online word guessing game as you are. In fact, playing Wordle was Jordana’s highlight of the week, according to Aleen time simply ceases to exist when playing the game, and Sami claims that it’s unifying America right now. It’s just that good. Sami even spills the detes on her mom’s sneaky guessing trick (no spoilers, listen and find out). On to less unifying topics, they dive into Kyle and Amanda’s Summer House drama. Is the relationship’s biggest problem Kyle’s drinking, or that they run a business together? Speaking of Kyles, Sami shares some more Bravo tea. On a Watch What Happens Live, Kathy Hilton just does not know the names of her sister Kyle Richards’ children. No, like it’s literally so rude. Since we’re already thinking of word games, what rhymes with rude? Nude. Jordana sparks the much needed debate on wtf is with all of the nudity and penises on HBO Max? They ofc talk about the episode’s other shortcomings (p

Meribel, Courchevel, après ski, oh my! Sami starts off this week’s episode by telling Jordana and Aleen all about her luxurious European ski adventures—yes, matching Fila tracksuits were of course involved. We love a good matching moment, which also inspired Sami’s upcoming nap dress themed birthday party—save the date for April, everyone. Then they attempt to dissect all the Kim and Kanye drama, as Kim apparently didn’t invite Kanye to their daughter Chicago’s fourth birthday party, so Kanye pouted on IG Live and then crashed the party. Honestly Kanye, leave the tantrums to the children. And Jordana asks the million dollar question—does Kanye have a therapist? Next, they all discuss the unfortunate nuances of RHOSLC and Jennie Nguyen’s offensive Facebook that was recently uncovered. Trust us, you’re gonna want to hear about this one, and Sami spills all the Jennie Nguyen Reddit tea. Then onto the Summer House drama between Kyle and Amanda (seriously, what was with that contract?), the weekly And Just Like Th

Aleen and Jordana start this week’s ep by sharing their tales of partying hard re: their bff’s bachelorette party. Aleen asked Jordana to borrow a bronzer brush and was shocked at it’s, uh, messy state of being. They then dive into discussing another engagement, one with a bit more…blood. Yup, MGK and Megan Fox actually drank each other’s blood after their engagement. Anywho, recovering from how strange that is, they get into a wild relationship of the familial sort—Jamie Lynn Spears has spoken out about her relationship with sister Britney, who has recently unfollowed Jamie on IG—or as Jordana likes to call it, some typical sister shit. The conversation makes a quick tone shift to remember America’s fave TV dad, Bob Saget, who recently passed away at 65. Aleen shares her deep appreciation of Bob’s most popular show, Full House. Then they chat about another show full of families, friends, and the struggles of youth—only this time, it’s jam packed with sex and drugs. You guessed it—Euphoria! A show that gives

Are you a fan of puzzles? So is Jordana. She kicks off this week’s episode sharing her love of literal puzzles (the 1,000 piece kind to be exact), which leads into Jordana, Aleen, and Sami talking about a truly puzzling topic—how tf could Tristan Thompson cheat on Khloe K yet again, and have a kid with another woman?! The conversation then shifts to another woman who seems to always choose the wrong men. Yes, we’re talking about Carrie Bradshaw. They discuss how the latest installment of And Just Like That, we’re sorry to tell you, only gets cringier. They reminisce on the OG SATC and pose the controversial q we all couldn’t help but wonder—should Carrie just have ended up single way back then and saved us the time? Continuing on the theme of b*tches with drama, they talk about the latest season of RHOC, including the ins and outs of what makes a good RH—Aleen compares it to a game of chess—and how RHOSLC is missing the ball. The show wraps up with a few pop culture predictions for the new year: Will Miley Cy

Following last week’s v controversial debate, Sami, Aleen, and Jordana revisit the og Sex and the City TV show. Yes, it really is as good as you remember and no, it’s actually not cheesy. The trio then get into an ultimate recap of 2021 and discuss all the important things. You know, best Bravo moments of the year—Erika Jayne or Jen Shah?—whether or not Squid Game deserves the spot of top TV show, and was Olivia Rodrigo’s Drivers License song really that big of a deal—or are we just millennials? After delving deep into 2021’s pop culture past, they round off the show with a game that tests how well they kept tabs. Like, remember when wild hogs stole Shakira’s purse? Yeah, they forgot about that too. Finally, Sami shares her go-to research method for digging into celeb tea—think, JB and Selena’s relationship, Kim Cattrall and SJP’s feud—and Aleen asks the hard hitting q: Is it actually research or is Sami just reading an 8th grader’s blog? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Betches annual holiday party just ended so Aleen, Jordana, and Sami are recapping it all, including who the real MVP was this year (the open bar, obviously). Then they dive into a SPOILER-filled recap of the wild Succession season finale (boo souls). Should we have seen that betrayal coming all season? Plus, they debate where things go from here for the Roy siblings. Finally, they talk all about the Sex and the City reboot, including that shocking (and frustrating) cliffhanger to end the premiere. Did Carrie Bradshaw suddenly forget how to use her phone? Finally, they discuss whether or not SATC was always this cheesy, or if it’s just a new Samantha-less world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Aleen is finally back on the podcast, so she’s catching Sami and Jordana up on everything we’ve missed while she was on maternity leave. They talk about going back to work, binging True Blood during downtime, and living in a (potentially) haunted house. Next, they recap last night’s huge U Up? Live Show, including Jordana’s take on what made it the best one ever. Then they dive into all the latest trending TV shows, starting with the best new comedy of the year (The Sex Lives of College Girls) and another debate about Paris Hilton’s return to the spotlight. Plus, they share their thoughts on Selling Sunset, the new season of RHOC, and VPR’s Raquel calling things off with James Kennedy. Then at around 50:30 - SPOILERS AHEAD - they debate the most shocking moment in Succession history. Did [SPOILER] really just [SPOILER] or is [SPOILER] a red herring? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jordana is back from her wedding and she’s recapping all the juiciest details with Sami. They talk about family drama, what she’d do differently, and the moment it turned into their own version of Fyre Festival. This leads to a conversation about intergenerational stability, and why it’s so valuable to find a supportive and stable partner. Next, they talk about their Thanksgiving weekend, including why Jordana (the tree expert) decided not to get a Christmas tree this year. They also discuss the challenge of buying gifts, especially when you have to make a wish-list for yourself, and they tell us which holiday needs a glow up. Finally, they close the show with some great TV recommendations, including their thoughts on the new season of Selling Sunset, and a review of Real Housewives: Ultimate Girls Trip. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices