These United States Stories

A professional treasure hunter tells Professor Pringle about the joys of discovering riches in your own backyard, the secret maps lurking in coffee shop menus, and his quest for the one ring to rule them all.

Professor Pringle feels the chills, thrills and out right terror of watching antique films that could burst into flames any second, when he interviews a collector of very early movies.

The owner of a soap company explains to Professor Pringle the benefits of wringing oil from cat fur to polish floors, why dog saliva is the ultimate cleaning substance, and the joys of being wiped with a towel that mimics a dog's tongue.

The world champion of hide and seek pops up out of nowhere to tell Professor Pringle how to hide in a drawer, under a foot stool, or behind a cat, and why missing a limb, having squishy bones, and rubbery joints can give you a step up on the competition.

An expert in homeopathic ("natural") medicine tells Professor Pringle about treating tumors with Jello and the benefits of having ants eat their way to your health in this week's interview.

Professor Pringle speaks with a man who drops the ball on New Year's Eve and discovers the perils of trial and error in coming up with a holiday tradition, why America is falling behind in the international ball dropping race, and just how much fun it is to lower a ball at the stroke of midnight.

Professor Pringle learns about deer goo, smoked cheese and bough mites, when he interviews a man who makes Christmas decorations, a sausage slinger in a mall kiosk, and a Christmas tree salesman, in this holiday special.

An actor who has played the role of Scrooge in a local production of A Christmas Carol for 67 years, enlightens Professor Pringle about the cuckolding subtext of the tale, the difficulty of finding a Tiny Tim who can survive the show's run, and the trick to doing the play nude.

A professional gift wrapper gives Professor Pringle insight on how to wrap cars, swords, puppies and genitalia.

Professor Pringle interviews a professional snow artist who shares the secret of making perfect snowmen, snow women, and, disturbingly, snow children.

Professor Pringle learns why Thanksgiving was originally called "the meal before the great die off," the perils of having a blacksmith dig out your tooth with a pair of pliers, and the trauma of alternating crippling constipation with blazing diarrhea as a result of a diet of pork fat and boiled corn mush, when he speaks with a living history reenactor at a re-created Pilgrim village.

Professor Pringle finds out that a cycle path is very different from a psychopath, which should not be confused with a sociopath, when he interviews a man who explains the benefits of living a life without empathy, remorse, or a conscience of any kind.

Professor Pringle discovers the thin line between collecting and hoarding, the true meaning of the "C" word, and that there is a place for everything, so long as you are willing to put everything into sealed plastic boxes, when he interviews the owner of a store that sells containers. (Nope, not THAT store....)

Just in time for Halloween, Professor Pringle learns the fine art of stacking bones, fighting off rats and drying out corpses, when he speaks with the operator of the only catacombs in the United States.

Professor Pringle speaks with a manufacturer of playground equipment and learns the ins and outs of importing children in shipping containers, the measures taken to protect the soft bones and weak lungs of today's kids, and the vigorous workout you get trying to escape the quicksand like grasp of a playground mat.

Professor Pringle discovers that linoleum, rotted barn wood, a center island and a staple gun can transform any home for immediate sale, as well as trigger homicidal impulses, when he interviews a contractor who "flips" houses.

Professor Pringle learns that bears do indeed defecate in the woods --and almost anywhere else they choose --when he interviews a man who wrestles bears.

Professor Pringle speaks with the owner of a rare book store and learns the surprising (and disturbing) things that make an antique book collectible.

Professor Pringle learns how to slay someone with words, discovers the power of dried dog noses, and finds out why quantum mechanics is proof of real magic, when he interviews a practitioner of chaos, ritual, and every other kind of magick. (That's right --magic, but with a "K.")

Professor Pringle visits an old fashioned hardware store and learns about nuts, bolts, tools, glue, gas chambers, electric chairs and gallows.