Danish And O'neill

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GREEN CHEF get $250 off with code beachcops250 at https://www.greenchef.com/                                                                                FULL EPISODE @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops                                             On This Pork Report style episode of Beach Cops, Ryan tells Andrew about the joys of life on the road. A heroin junkie invades Great Wolf Lodge and leaves syringes everywhere. The boys discuss billionaire brontosaurus secrets and the forgotten 80’s classic “Baby: Secret of The Lost Legend” and how Andy was forced to study cryptids at elementary school. Andy finds out about the Sasquatch “gifting rock” and Ryan debuts a 1970’s gem “Bigfoot and Wildboy” and it’s truly unbelievable. Then we hear O’Neill on a legit baseball bat commercial which leads to an amazing Aaron underdog softball story!  

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsA homeless dude helps "decorate" a giant skeleton in a fancy neighborhood. O’Neill has a ghostly proposition for Andy, but it quickly devolves into a Black Mirror situation. Andy finds a risque Irish woman on Instagram. Ryan has a “broccoli mission” dream that Andy tries to decode. Danish finds out about the urban legend of the Death Cat. A caller leaves a scary message that Andy initially doubts but later believes. Also, Ryan finds the ceiling of the podcast and measures it. 

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsSomeone leaves season’s greetings in the toilet at ATC for O’Neill. Then, Danish finds a Diet Coke in the other bathroom, causing them to imagine a situation where a billionaire grants wishes to whoever drinks the toilet soda. Ryan pitches a traveling van of risque circus performers. Andy wears orthopedic flip flops, but no one believes him. Ryan then tries to get Andy to hang out with a chimpanzee, but Andy doesn’t want to deal with the diaper.  Ryan then goes on a rant about some kind of mysterious softball powers.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, the gang talks Book Fair books, school stores, and Little Caesar’s Pan-Pan. Also, Andrew recounts a story of being jumped in elementary school and using his fat to his advantage. O’Neill intelligently breaks down how the insults of 4th graders wouldn’t hurt as much as an adult. Then, they argue about the size of ships in a bottle. After that, they invent new types of rum that would feature Andy as a mascot figure dressed as a little Dutch boy. They finally talk about South American/Mexican alien mummies, which inspires O’Neill to try speaking Spanish. Then, Andy reads comments on the Whazzup Man of Reddit AITA.

Go to GreenChef.com/60beachcops and use code 60beachcops to get 60% off plus free shipping. GreenChef: “The #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well”To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsAaron has an insane divorce story from his neighborhood. We offer him a series of Crunchwrap based gambits and see what he’ll take. Andy’s neighbor washes his clothes with a hose and uses adult diapers for the craziest thing. Aaron’s neighbor tries to give him meat. Andy does more back-pain talk, and the fans weigh in. Then, he gets on the floor and does stretches. 

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Another fantastic, classy, dignified episode of the Pork Report with Ryan and Andrew. Andy buys a soundboard for a dollar and immediately gets decision fatigue. Andrew and Ryan try to create a game show called “Read O’Neill’s Mind”, but it doesn’t pan out. Then, they talk Cadbury turkeys and nacho cheese turkeys. Andy shows O’Neill Gymkata for the first time, and they brainstorm more Olympic-based action films.  

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Ryan talks about politicians working way past the retirement point, and Aaron recounts amazing movies. Then, O’Neill and DeWitt create an action movie called Pork Chops about karate police partners who fight children.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsThe gang discusses a brand new business idea, where Andy dresses as a pig and lays in a trough, while O’Neill acts as a barker for people who are tired of waiting in lines for the porta-potties at music festivals. Then, a firefighter hero sends in an incredible video, and we make the case for higher pay for some of our country’s bravest workers. 

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Jeff is out of town, so to keep it together, DeWitt and O’Neill decide to ditch the cargo shorts and dress up like two true gentlemen. O’Neill asks Andy to plunder-wash his laundry for $1.75. Aaron gets “kind of“ horny. Andy’s friend Burt stays up all night dreaming of $50,000. O’Neill and Andy role play a car dealership where Andy keeps being mistaken for a woman. O’Neill roasts character testimonies for Danny Masterson. Then, it’s business ideas galore! Including their own character witness testimony business.

Go to GreenChef.com/60beachcops and use the code 60beachcops to get 60% off and free shipping. Green Chef: "The #1 meal kit for eating well"! To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsAndrew needs to be hypnotized to fall asleep and also can’t keep in touch with his relatives on the East coast.  Ryan takes umbrage with the lyrics to ”Bongos” and tries to rewrite them. Danish recaps an emotionally abusive new 90 Day Fiancé. Andrew asks the gang a hypothetical question, and then it’s Danish and O’Neill vs Andy in a TLC reality show pitch off. 

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Listeners come together to write O’Neill an open letter one line at a time to get him to stop his bad boy zone behavior. The letter predictably goes off the rails. After that, the gang explains an idea DeWitt and O'Neill once had to Aaron. Andy’s back goes out again, as Danish shows a beautiful horse, which Ryan thinks is a psyop. Then, they talk about the diarrhea plane. 

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS and use the code HELIXPARTNER20. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this one, the gang debates if there is ever a “charming” way to blast a big old beefer in front of a potential significant other to score points. Once again, Ryan gives sound dating advice, and the boys test their knowledge of the states and capitals, while Danish plays cannon sound effects over them. It’s a good one! 

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsThis one starts with the gang recovering from the horrific Hurricane Hilary. Aaron gets a controversial text from a famous comedian. Ryan tries to come up with a new Desert Eagle business, and Danish creates a hypothetical cartel art career for Andy. They debate the best ingredients for traditional ancient medicine. Then, Andy makes AI tell O’Neill he’s a very bad boy. AI doesn't stop there - it tells O'Neill the terrible fate he's facing if he doesn't change his bad boy ways. 

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, O’Neill has some tough but fair relationship advice for a morgue employee. Also, O’Neill talks horror movies. Andrew discusses his intense ballet training and then he proves he has a 12 inch vert. Danish and O’Neill make him post to Reddit’s AITA, and he’s too scared to do it. 

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsOn this episode of Beach Cops, Aaron tells us about a styrofoam jail from his youth. Ryan grills Andy about a Disney audition that featured adult content. Danish reveals Obama’s secret naughty letters, and the gang has some insane theories. Then, they talk about the underrated TV show, Alien Nation. And, Andrew shows everyone his new DIY washing machine.

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of Beach Cops, Andy is recovering from Covid, and the Codeine darkness has his soul. Danish has some shocking manatee news, and O’Neill can’t stand a restaurant that serves gross ice cream. Plus, a new mash-up song of shame is revealed.   

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsAndy brings in Nerf guns, and it makes the opening of the show extremely chaotic. Then, he gets (fake) cheese lip so bad it gives him a lip pimple. He also has some new surf tales  and claims he popped the supposed lip pimple boogie boarding. O’Neill makes fun of Andy’s favorite spice shoppe. After that, there’s more Slingblade and Mrs. Doubtfire improv. Ronald Reagan drops in on them. Danish introduces Andy to Ice Spice via Obama’s new playlist. Ryan then raps about his juicy buttocks. 

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsOn this episode of Beach Cops, Ryan goes hiking drunk, Andrew recounts an old story about Taco Bell Gorditas that goes wrong. A dude gets shown racy pictures on a plane by a lady, and Air Marshal Andrew catches them. Danish reads a political article about farts. Then, they find out about one of the funniest police evidence seizures of all time.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops O’Neill has a family incident with fireworks and then launches so many Roman candles he looks like a chimney sweep. Then, the gang imagines Andy’s "pirate" teaming up with Somali pirates. There’s some more black powder talk. After, there’s some AI talk mixed with some Scottish Lords talk that gets derailed by a "special" headstand request from O’Neill. The gang imagines what would happen if Jehovah’s Witness ladies were super turned-on, while Aaron critiques their conversion rates. Aaron breaks down all of Jeff Dunham’s puppets, and the gang goes nuts.