Danish And O'neill

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops It comes out that Andy has been keeping a “productivity journal” while O’Neill was out of town. Danish reads O’Neill the journal, and he loses it because it’s mainly tracking bowel movements and "self-love" time. Danish and O’Neill have a eulogy for Bob from the Comedy Store, which puts Andrew in a dark/weird place but makes him sympathetic towards his cohosts. Then, the boys turn off all the lights and finally write a Wazzup Man of Reddit!

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, the gang covers Andy getting chemical burns on his hands from throwing urinal cakes at people in elementary school. Then, they talk about Bloody Mary being back in full effect for a whole new generation. Things take a dark turn when they find out about the dude dating Shauna Rae (of TLC fame), and let’s just say the boys have some severe opinions. O’Neill also finally gets down to the real brass tacks of life advice for DeWitt. 11/10 star episode

Helix is offering up to 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows four our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BeachCops. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, Andy brings in a survival tool for show-and-tell with a hidden punch knife, and it’s the worst piece of (expletive) anyone has ever seen. He also keeps dropping it, causing Danish some extreme anxiety. They talk Chinese spy balloons and a disturbing report from O’Neill on Milf Manor, but Andrew still wants those gross old ladies. O’Neill tries to get down to brass tacks with life advice for Andy. Then, Andy disappoints himself and his wife when he lets the boys play a scary game with his nips and then twerks.

Shop now at dietsmoke.com and use the code BEACHCOPS at checkout for 20% off your entire first order. That's dietsmoke.com, code BEACHCOPS at checkout for 20% off.To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsOn this spicy episode of Beach Cops, O’Neill brings out his childhood fingerboard and tries to skate on Andy’s nipples. The gang tries to use AI to write jokes, but Chat GPT constantly chastises them for being offensive. Then, they deep dive on the new reality show Milf Manor, and it blows O’Neill’s mind. They try to wrap up early, but a wardrobe revelation from Danish and DeWitt gets too crazy to stop the show.

Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/beachcops. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops O’Neill is back from his tour with a brand new debilitating ski injury. Was it another curse by Boon? Who knows because O’Neill found doodie stains in the ATC toilet and dragged DeWitt in to see it (even though he claims he’s totally against doodie talk). Andrew seductively fingerboards on the boys’ legs, and Danish gets turned on! Then, we talk about finger surfing and finger snowboarding, which infuriates O’Neill. That is, until Danish infuriates Andrew with a disturbing announcement from M&Ms.

This Episode is sponsored by Better Help To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops We recorded this bad boy on Friday the 13th, and it’s pretty spooky! O’Neill makes everyone watch the Skinamarink Horror trailer, and Aaron and Andrew want nothing to do with it. Andy reveals a secret about adult film stars. They talk spooky celebrity deaths related to the show, attempted pregnancies, and impossible vegan privates. Andy then gets obsessed with fingerboards and aggressively pesters the gang to play fingerboards with him, using his bathroom sink as a skate pool...until O’Neill loses it and screams mean things at him instead of just being chill and playing cool, sweet fingerboards.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, Danish and O’Neill try to give the Bushman a proper eulogy, but they just roast him to Andrew‘s horror. (It’s what he would have wanted!) And, O’Neill meets the ultimate Scrooge Karen at a grocery store. There's much more on the Patreon side, so check it out if you haven't already!

The episode starts on a somber note, as we mourn the loss of Los Angeles' beloved mountain lion, P-22. However, O'Neill is quick to point out that he feels that P-22 wasn't euthanized, but instead, there was foul play involved. Different P-22 theories and ideas emerge, as we give him the goodbye he deserves. Andrew talks about his body and the different colors certain body parts are. He also calls for listeners to compliment him in the live chat (Patreon exclusive perk!). Listener calls dedicated to P-22 are played, and there's even a song by Hot Hot Peppers to commemorate Los Angeles' unofficial mascot. Goodbye, P-22. Stay golden. Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to Helix Sleep dot com slash beachcops. With Helix, better sleep starts now.

The episode opens up with Andrew talking about Dolph Lundgren's TED Talk. After that, there's some parrot and Stockton, CA talk. There's then a smooth transition into discussing a UFC fighter who has the last name Holtzman. We also have some mortician talk. Andrew decides to write a letter to O'Neill's wife to apologize for some past comments he's made on the show. It goes super well. That goes into some height and Chumlee discussions. 

This episode starts with the entire gang having Wendingo nightmares to report. Then, O’Neill sets a fire during Thanksgiving Dinner via the dreaded Green Bean Casserole preparation. Andrew brings up a point about ancient sculptures, which triggers an O'Neill vs. Andrew debate on ancient art as it pertained to weiner size in statues. And the show ends with the guys listening to a great new river pirate song submission.

Ryan tells a story of having an encounter with a Native American trickster spirit (a wendingo) in the dream world, and Andrew thinks it followed him home. What does this mean for the Beach Cops? Andrew reads the tarot (on his phone) for Ryan, and the devil is revealed once again. There's also some talk about cold weather pole-licking. Enjoy! 

Aaron starts off the episode with a wild cautionary tale of athletic supporters and emergency dumps. This leads Andrew to demand jock strap lingerie equality for men. Then, a business idea erupts that involved Danish’s Jewish Christmas tree menorah patch, and they debate how many and what kind of birds could lift Andy for a flying show. This leads to O’Neill coming up with a kissing booth idea for Andy.  Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code BEACHCOPS at Manscaped.com. That’s 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com and use code BEACHCOPS. Manscaped, get your Jingle balls ready for the Holidays. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BEACHCOPS and get on your way to being your best self.

More recycling can talk! Then, O’Neill says goodbye to Aaron. A discussion starts about lunch ladies, and the question "have you ever seen a man serving school lunch?" is asked, which gets DeWitt raving about his school's calzone. This leads to him craving calzone and pizza throughout the episode. Duran Duran comes up, and O'Neill takes a few cracks at singing their hits. This episode is brought to you by Helix. Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to helixsleep.com/beachcops. With Helix, better sleep starts now.

It’s tire pressure season in Los Angeles! And, Andrew opens up like a bat out of hell with a tire pressure story that will keep you on the edge of your seat. O’Neill sees how tall Andy is with sciatica and talks about a documentary he saw, which gets Andrew going on some classic impressions. There's also some long legged mack daddy discussion!

The boys talk cutting-edge political news and brilliant current event riffing before…who am I kidding? This episode goes off the rails immediately as the boys spend almost the entire episode making soup jokes when they find a website that has hundreds of soup jokes on it. This may be divisive but the soup jokes are decisive. It’s a recipe for soupcess! 

This episode was recorded on Halloween day but is obviously coming out after the fact. DeWitt gets scared when he arrives at a spooky, empty studio. O’Neill hides his toilet comics after he found out DeWitt reads them. Danish has an amazing report on Holtzman’s “Roast of Dracula”. Also, DeWitt takes a chronic masturbation mental health test. Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code [BEACHCOPS] at Manscaped.com. Manscaped, get your Jingle balls ready for the Holidays!

Another booger gets thrown away in the DeWitt household. And to make matters worse, Sorbitol farts keep DeWitt up all night. A new segment called “Let’s Google Things to See If They Exist” is debuted. Danish reveals that a lot of young people hate the “thumbs up“ emoji, and DeWitt and O’Neill fight about it. Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to Helix Sleep.com/beachcops. With Helix, better sleep starts now.    

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops There’s more can talk from the DeWitt family as they take their empty beer and weed soda cans to school for recycling day field trip points. Then, a new show idea emerges: “The Real House Santa’s of Atlanta”. Ryan proposes an X-rated partnership with ATC. Also, the gang remembers that they missed National Wizard Name Appreciate Day and hand out Wizard and Gizzard names! Danish brings up a political dynamo, who makes a porno for freedom. There’s a good bit of moral high ground grand standing that gets immediately destroyed by incompetence. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BEACHCOPS and get on your way to being your best self.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops An age old debate comes up: were Pazusu's (from a documentary about a wannabe cult leader who called himself Pazusu) ladies hot. Hear who's on the right and wrong side of history. Andrew opens up about a creepy weed dealer from his past, and his friend, Bruce Doo’Tay who is being scammed by a life coach. Go to https://www.magicmind.co/beachcops And get 40% off your subscription or 20% off your first one time purchase with code: BEACHCOPS20, this special 40% offer is valid within 10 days of sign-up so hurry up! 

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Brian Holtzman is finally on Beach Cops, and boy, does he come in hot, singing "My Sharona" and plugging his new book, "A Bar Girl in a Woke World". He even talks eating ass with DeWitt and airs some comedy grievances. He also plugs a hot stand up date he has for the roast of Dracula! It's must listen Holtzman-a-palooza.