Your Mom's House With Christina P. And Tom Segura

The Mommies are back from MIA! We recap our trip which included a fun sitdown with Top Dog and Charo (audio included)! One of the greatest documentary films of all time that is near and dear to our hearts, Stevie, is discussed, complete with incredible audio selects. Watch out for Snake! Stevie, whom the documentary is based on is also a piece of shit. This leads us to a conversation about molestors including former PSU coach, Jerry Sandusky. We conclude that nobody would care if all child molestors were set on fire! Get your mom on! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Blue jeans, Blue jeans, oh where are thou Blue jeans? If you liked the first bonus ep we released get ready to lose your mind with the second one. Christina's dad came into our studio for nearly 2 hours and dropped so much science we both have degrees. It's heartwarming, hilarious and incredible insight into what made Tina mommy who she is today (she's like a dog - you'll see). Plus we visit the new Weiner scandal and read some of his hysterical (creepy) texts and NEW Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut and for the first time ever we take YOUR calls. Sorry for the call waiting beeps. We're figuring it out, but we loved hearing your love issues. We love her! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rejoice! Our neighbor wasn't cooking for the hour in which we recorded this show! We discuss the horror that is the sound of an old man climaxing (WARNING: audio example is included!). We talk about the world's greatest sport - competitive eating! How many episodes of Your Mom's House can you fit in your stomach!?! Real Talk - Virgin Diaries! Ginger talk is back! Are you ready for some Red? A special Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut and so much more! Crunchy Black, stay up!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Awwww yeah, just a couple of mommies sittin around with their jeans up. We get right to it quick on this one. Breaking down the White Tigress takes time and we didn't get to do that last time, so we really give her her due on this one - she really wants her reward! Tom and Sushi seem to be a recipe for Shirleying himself that the Asians see coming and we appreciate that. We discuss the hilarious comedy Human Centipede that we hadn't seen until recently and we also visit why Sweet Brown never made it on the show until now - IS SHE EVEN REAL?!?! Plus Tog Dog drops science about his weightlifting days and more! Be The Best Mommy You Can Be. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're the man now, dawg! Tommy and Tina talk about their recent travels and how lame it is to watch old dudes hit on young girls by trying to sound like they're young too. The lesson: act your age or better yet - just do you, dawg. Christina admits to knowing nothing about current affairs and especially about Kennebunkport. The real treat here is Top Dog gives gold. He talks farts, brown, toilet paper, and how he used to pick up chicks. Guys, you're going to want to take notes cause you're about to start getting laid way more. Bankers beware! And the official Podcast T-shirt makes its debut! Wipe Down! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Mommy Dome is rarely at a loss for words, but one guest has the special skill to leave us near speechless and he's back. Yoshi Obayashi, the Japanese/Korean/Pornagrapher/Ho expert/Samurai is always up for sharing a story that is honest, in your face, and leave you begging for humanity to better itself. His 3rd visit is no disappointment as we cover his recent exploits at Comic Con, getting prostitutes south of the border, being a loner, Asian shame, and soooooo much more - like erotic optical illusions! Some Mexicans don't look Mexican, mommy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chang chong ping pong! Guess who's back? It's the great Yoshi! This is by far one of the craziest episodes we've ever done. Yoshi goes deep. Deep into his mind, soul, and past. He shares a lot and it's fantastic, compelling, terrifying, sad and hilarious all at once. What a guest! There's no way we can describe everything we talk about, but here are some key words: Porn, fighting, death, fleeing, kids, blood, hookers. What do you think? Yeah, I thought so. Come back in 2 days for part 2, Geisha Jeans! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Crime fighting extraordinaire, Armenian revolutionary, self-proclaimed deviant and somehow still good guy, Sam Tripoli is in the Mommy Dome. When "Trips" is in the room it's a non-stop party from beginning to end. We talk shop and having a gambling dad who "smashes black ass," nightmare gigs, strippers and so much more. Sammy also comes close to breaking records on Tom or Black, plus Dental Updates and more!! Don't forget to watch Tommy's new short film, "9 Inches" on his YouTube channel.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bill "Gingery" Burr enters the mommy dome for a lengthy, laugh-filled conversation. A true sportsman, Burr talked football with Tom until Christina started snoring. The three talked comedy - mainly Burr's stories of hanging at the Comedy Cellar in NYC and everything that was great (and terrifying) about being around the late Patrice O'Neal. We talk about shit-talking online and when people share too much -in person and on Facebook. Bill gets fired up about getting bodyscanned at the airport and why you should never use your debit card. Mike Singletary, Would You Rather, Bears and more! What type of denim are you wearing today?!  PS- don't forget to download Bill's new special for only $5 at BillBurr.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When a mommy is missing it isn't truly Your Mom's House, so this episode is unofficially Your Aunt's House, but boy does Auntie get down! Fan-favorite and dear friend, Bert "The Machine" Kreischer joins Tom for the first LIVE video podcast from the MommyDome. We talk about sharing death news with people, Bert's new show, getting to know Vanilla Ice, a follow up on The Dick Detectives, dealing with our anxiety, and more! We laugh our Mommy dicks off! RIP MCA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bring the muthafuckin Ruckus! Tom and Christina drop science on you so open up your journals and take notes! We begin with some friendly banter regarding our different tastes in music to warm your ears. Then the moment you've all been waiting for arrives - Tom talks about his trip with Top Dog which includes audio immediately after Top Dog shit his pants. It's a special moment for Tom and all of our little mommies. We read a listener email, discuss our neighbor's new sex friend, talk about a new documentary about Where The Dudes are At, Real Talk about gypsies and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The NEW Mommydome welcomes its first guest, comedian Brent Weinbach aka B-Weezy. The episode guests down and dirty from the jumpoff with Cm Dog audio to get you in the mommy mood. We go over our glorious history with Brent including our time in Austin and the surely soon-to-be-award-winning short film, Bear In A Bathtub. Brent also plugs his new album, Mostly Live and we get into lots of tomfoolery including very in depth BROWN TALK that might have you asking, Does Brent know Top Dog? Plus so much more! Keep your Cm Dog on a leash. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some have had the never to criticise this show for being less than sophisticated. To those that have unflattering remarks about us we present to you Episode 141. The Mona Lisa, the Sistine Chapel, and now this very episode of Your Mom's House with all mentioned in the same breath. We examine the meaning of life, the purpose for which one exists and we might just have an answer to the question, "Is there a God?" Give this podcast a listen and you'll be pleased by what you hear. We also take more calls from our listeners about Love! Can you feel that? That's your jeans getting TIGHTER!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode will have your jeans in a super high twist! There's no berries like Sherry's berries. Imposters need not apply (Terry). We read your emails and discuss Tom's beard flakes. What reality shows are you watching? And a very special phone call with Top Dog that will have you looking at public restrooms in a whole new way. And we take your phone calls and give you love advice. 2 Mommies 1 Jeans. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shaka Zulu! We're back from the Motherland! Tina and Tommy share wonderful stories of their time abroad. It's heartwarming to hear how they connected with kind people, had fantastic shows, and took "African" dumps. We reveal that you agree Stevie said, "RetardED" and we present you with another mystery. Also, Christina shares a personal story that will make you very proud. Our jeans have never been higher! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do porn girls talk like that? Like OH MY GAWWWD? We consider this earth shattering truth. How many is too many? How many can you handle? Tommy announces his all NEW football podcast is finally UP! Charge It To The Game is available NOW on iTunes, Stitcher, and it the Charge it Web Page - you know what I'm sayin? Jeans is feeling better. Mostly because she's now very into narcotics. We delve into Real Talk and break down what the man with 132 lb scrotum is all about - all kinds of nuts. Tommy talks about his Vegas weekend - big ballin, ya'll. We share your trucker stories and more! New Fall line jeans are coming out! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mayday Mayday Mayday! Mommy Down! That's right, this episode there's only 1 mommy, 1 pair of lower, looser jeans. It's sad, but don't worry. Tina mommy will end up being okay. She's resting and getting new denim to make her feel better. This episode we have the very funny, unpredictable and completely outrageous, Brandt Tobler in the Dome. Nicky Santoro is a more welcome sight in casinos than Tobler. If you think I'm kidding, just listen. Tobler's stories are so incredible you genuinely feel like he's telling you fiction - but he isn't. He's done more and seen more than most people see in 10 lifetimes. It's always great to get a comic in the building with all kinds of crazy stories to tell. Buckle up on this one. We guarantee you'll be wanting to hear more from Tobler. Don't forget to follow him -- @brandtTobler  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's your parenting style? Shame, anger, guilt, all 3? Good for you. We welcome your form of abuse into our home. All forms of entertainment including sports are simply distractions. What's important is rarely discussed by the majority. We get into the thick of it and question why. Why do we ignore what's really significant? After this prolific philosophical question we soon have Top Dog on the phone to talk about poop. Tommy introduces TD to the Bristol Stool Scale and the results are magnificent. What was Da Vinci's reaction when he discovered a paintbrush? Very similar. If you ever have a problem with your food be sure to call 911. That's what it's for.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Comedian Jon Huck enters the Mommy Dome for an extended Momcast that you'll be listening to again and again. We get to know Jon and his testicle(s), share stories, talk teeth, Mike Singletary and more! As an added BONUS we play part of an interview Tom did with his sister - Not the one that TALKS LIKE THAT!! But still, you're going to love it! How high are your jeans today? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Before last Wednesday we honestly thought that Hilary Clinton was America's most polarizing figure, but we've learned that isn't the case. Perhaps no person has such a profoundly different affect on the American public than King A** Ripper AKA Gross Glutton Manners. The man who's farts can be heard around the world made some of you scream with laughter while other cried is complete disgust. We read your feedback as we prepare to do live shows in Texas. Learning isn't supposed to be fun. Stop being stupid, just learn like an adult. By reading. Books. Ladies, don't feel bad if your hangers flap around in the wind. Us guys still want whatever you got. Keep your chin and your jeans up.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices