Your Mom's House With Christina P. And Tom Segura

It's HERE! We made it all the way to Episode 100! What better way to celebrate than with the little man who started it all with us, our son, Redban. This episode is so much mommy it's completely made of denim! As as treat to you, the little mommy, we have special appearances from OMG Seriouslahhhhh Maria, Top Dog, and Gigolo Brace! Plus SOOOOO much more! Your Mommies Love You! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tina and Tommy have their jeans so high you can barely see their eyes on this one! They get warmed up with prison talk and how they better get ready to eat some box and throw some punches to survive (if they get locked up). Tommy reveals that someone from his past is Filling Up and Sealing Shut one of his All-Time Faves! In our Real Talk segment we explore the sad truth that some reality tv is anything but real, especially TLC's hit show Breaking Amish. A toilet paper test FINALLY reveals who is using the most TP in the mommydome and a MOMMY JEANS EXCLUSIVE - Maria, who TALKS LIKE THAT, is finally on the show in full Maria-Mode. Plus a review of Tom's new album from his mother.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Charge this shit to the game! Tommy and Tina deliver a Mother of an episode with sound bites, insight, perfect impressions, stories and more! Tom's recent appearance on the Joe Rogan Experience (Eps. 264) where Joe called into question Tom's (in)famous "black voice" is a hot topic! Tom defends his God-given skill and demonstrates how he can yell EXACTLY the way black people do! Last week we solved the "Oil/I/Eye on The Road" mystery and this week a screen grab puts an end to the "retard/retarded" dispute. Results and a new Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut. Plus Tom almost tells Sofia Vergara she can get it IN PERSON! How much are people into farts for real? Just listen and find out. Great Episode!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It gets really real this episode, little mommies. We open up to you about our past week - a tough one for us and the little doggie we adopted, Theo (Dr. Huxtable's son). Thankfully, he's still with us. We also get Jeansy with Angel from Angel's Fellatio Secrets - yes, that one. She gives a great interview and gives tips on getting ding dongs down, painless anal and more. Plus, certain cultures behave in very specific, sometimes gross ways. Are you one of those? Do you know people who are? Share with us. We love her! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, the mommies grab em by the p***y! Will Tina follow thru on the dog food challenge? Do radio rap songs make you cry? We have ANOTHER angry Persian voicemail. Jeans Up! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, the mommies discover and fall in love with a new Dan Pena clip, get a translation for Christina's Persian voicemail lady, listen to old and new songs, play a round of 'Rate My Jeans,' and much much more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on YMH, Tom and Christina take a look at some great points about sleeping with your friends, try to pick a name for Tom's new stand-up tour, play another round of 'Horrible or Hilarious,' call Ryan "Sickle Cell" Sickler to figure out who coined the nickname, and much much more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, the mommies dive deep into the fetish of ball kicking, see what DJ Dad Mouth was up to in Des Moines, do another installment of Horrible or Hilarious, and much much more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week the mommies learn how to "rip some skin," judge a mommy's denim, play Horrific or Hilarious, watch a recovered Top Dog call from a lost episode, and much much more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, the mommies find a VERY talented grandmother who works for a a certain kind of phone line, they welcome back one of the strongest performers in the adult industry, watch the trailer for Steven Seagal's new action movie where he doesn't move a lot, and much much more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week's episode, the mommies educate themselves on vaginal knitting, get some questions answered on special people's daily schedules, pick a name for their son just incase they get pregnant again, and much, much more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You should drink your pee. Especially if you have a cold or a fever or a stomach ache or you're tired. Pee is better than medicine. It's your own medicine and it's free (and tastes good). Also, stop being stupid.  We tell stories about our old landlord, Jose. Plus a new game - Horrible or Hilarious? Will Tom like a psycho and someone's unfortunate circumstance or will he see it like a human? Plus an incredible impromptu call with Top Dog where we read him street jokes and he laughs, well, harder than we've ever laughed at anything. It's amazing.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week the mommies do a very important dental update as a recent article about the merits of flossing has surfaced. Christina learns what a "trap-p***y" is during an outing at the park with her family. Also, Percocet-master Gina from Boston is warmly welcomed to the mommy-dome. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week the mommies find Christina's dad on Instagram having a dance-off in Ibiza, review some fan-made websites, discuss the order of sushi they couldn't beat, and learn how to become bad boys Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the type of thing denim was built for - the ultimate Momisode. If you're a HARD F'n CORE mommy you are in for a treat. Three of the most outrageous, hilarious and central people on this show are all in the episode and we had them IN studio. Sit back, relax and let the people who shaped Tommy Jeans entertain you by just being themselves. Plus we have Fat updates and much more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes really scary moments, like blood dripping from your butt, can produce magical results, like Ari's farts. We have some for you. Does Dani sing a song for us? Well you Daniacs are gonna find out! (and it might involve a little baby named Hitler) Plus we have strictly friendly sports, a new dildo from Nick (AJ?) Hawk, and Doug Stanhope weighs in on the #FATBATTLE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We hope you're HAPPY, Rachel! Mummy knows and now so does everyone else! Plus a Jamaican accent so thick the Master gets stumped?!? Tommy's family is in town and the house has flipped over. Will the Mommy's survive? An Asian guy from the South Pacific is still wanting a girlfriend, but with a new approach - intense dude energy. We have some advice. Plus The Water Championship has been settled, but who is the ALONE CHAMPION? The debate begins. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The thing about having your balls shrink is ultimately, it's the best thing that can happen. It makes your salami look so much bigger and who doesn't want that. Ze Zim Xir yim. Those are all preferred pronouns of severely mentally ill people, some of whom you may know. Make sure whenever you meet someone you open with, "Hey, what's your pronoun?" Plus, did Tom lose a bet and get his thumbs burned by cigs? Is the poop pile real? We work on getting you ANSWERS. AND #bertisfat is finally something you can own - get the new shirt and show the world you are on "TEAM TOM."   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You kind of have to agree, if you're gonna poop you might as well share it. Thankfully, a nice man in New York City thinks the same way. Wanna hear a cool fart? You should say that and then fart. Just an idea from Tom that he thinks is really going to take off. Plus, have you ever taken a walk with your family? Just a regular walk? Well this life-changing in the mind of Christina and her communist upbringing. #BertIsFat goes to a whole new level and Tom and Christina aren't the ones who did it! Plus, buying crack, dental updates and a whole lot more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If Water drinking had a Super Bowl, this episode would be it. Pick your sides and deal with the results cause after this one, there will only be ONE. The Water Gawd.  If thrive to be the best is that like striving to be the best? What if you have 4 teeth? Can you still be the best? Now add 400 or so pounds. Yup, the best.  We love coaches and mentors as much as anyone else, but when said mentor speaks directly and curses non stop, well then we fall in love.  Daniel Pena is straight forward and doesn't worry about feelings. Gnaw mean?  Plus, let's get to the bottom of Bart being fat. This episode has BOTH sides of the story.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices