Your Mom's House With Christina P. And Tom Segura

And a good day to you, Hitler! Cheerio, Mate! Aw the Hi Hitler saga continues. Where will it go? Does it make sense? We have the answers.  Mommy loves you and hopes that you love mommy too. Nothing like a funny clip with a sad backstory to get the show a rockin! Plus we asked you if Hitler porn existed and you answered! The Fuhrer wouldn't be so happy if he saw what happened to his picture tho.  When a megachurch pastor speaks in error we laugh. When he can't seem to fix it we laugh harder.  This is all denim here.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Don't go for the hole! Just find the CLICK! Confused? Well, we have the full audio that makes it simple and easy. Remember, it's all about the click.  Tommy had some surprising browns this episode. Really, they happened DURING the episode. What was the cause? Did Christina brown too?!? Plus Ann Wolfe drops some serious fight knowledge in the Ann Wolfe way AND Will Steven Seagal be challenged as the most ridiculous martial artist by another silly man? Not even close, but we have some fun audio of Chuck Norris.  Did you know Antonio Cromartie had a vasectomy? Did you know it didn't work? We have audio of his orgasm.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Hitler! Hope all is well. Let us know what's up. There's a new hilarious lady whose apartment has caught on fire. Sorry about the fire, lady. But super thankful a camera crew found you to talk about it.  The mommies talk about crazy plastic surgeons, crazy Sean Penn, crazy edibles and whole lot more.  Plus, Master Of Accents, Tom "The King of All Accents" Segura will blow your mind with his ability to mimic ANY accent! This episode is 100% denim.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jeans, We are wanting to hear your best MOM calls. Let it rip, Mommy! Plus, was that fart or the national anthem?  Nothing is worse that a goofy porn actor. Where's the best fast food? Would you eat there for a month. Did you know that Tommy can do ANY foreign accent?  It's all here.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Main Mommy is back! Tina doesn't let a little thing like delivering a baby hold her back. She's in the Dome and talking about what's important: Farts, Big Words, Graphic Sex and Steven Seagal. Sometimes all together.  This episode has everything including intel about a certain Super Bowl winning coach. You won't believe what we saw him do.  Jeans up forever! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is our final gift to you in the year 2015, a visit from beloved guest, world prostitute chaser and medical lab rat, YOSHI! As always, no written word can prepare or describe what Yoshi bring to the table. Put in your ear buds, crank the volume and enjoy this one.  Thanks for a great 2015, MOMMIES! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Merry Jeansmas! Hope you all are snuggling and kissing and drinking cocoa by the fire. We have a baby jeans and will be doing all that, gurl.  This episode has magic: enemas, OMG Maria, Top Dog, Kim Ahn breaking it down HARD CORE, Would You Rather's and a whole lot more.  Please be safe and allow denim into your heart.  Please support our sponsors - MeUndies.com/mom and BlueApron.com/mom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is Baby Jeans here?! You'll just have to listen to find out! What happens when you get AIDS from someone and you see them on public transit? You gotta call them out, yo!  RIP Greg Giraldo Plus the KING has been in hiding for a while and now we have confirmation that he's BACK!  And Tommy insists that his DJing will pay off in the future, I mean, listen to what Paris Hilton is doing. You get to decide if its good.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What a Jeanstastic episode! The FedEx controversy RAGES on! Tommy has some damning evidence that may turn Christina's pronunciation on it's head. Um, do we have an exclusive interview with Throatzilla aka Orally Gifted? Yes, yes jeans we do! Also important Steven Segal update. Fill her up and seal her shut! What a BIG DAY! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bond, Jeans Bond is the name or perhaps you're more familiar with Double 0 Denim as I'm known inside these walls. The mommies have a spectacular bonus clip of the new Bond movie and you are sure to love it.  Plus is a white boy claiming to be a crip the real deal or is he frontin in a red hat? We have the Farsi voicemails translated, the lamest dude ever in porn and a call from Tommy's Uncle Bill You got that sauce, mane? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy HatesGiving, MOMMY! As is tradition on this show we'll do our best to offend you for the holiday!  Do you have an incurable neurological disorder? Is English not your first language? Do you not look like us? Do you live somewhere that isn't Los Angeles? Hopefully we hit you below the belt! The Persian Lady who has left Tina countless messages about the desert and sharia laws has, you guessed it, left MORE messages. What the hell is she saying in Farsi?!? We encourage you to EAT WHAT YOU WANT for Thanksgiving. Is turkey not your thing? Push back against the man and get a steak or a hot dog - whatever you desire, Mommy. PLUS we have audio of TINA SNORING (LOUDLY), a crazy escort talks about her "job" AND a HUGE announcement that involves Tommy and one of the greatest rappers of ALL TIME.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yo Chuck! Yo, You got AIDS, YO! Aw, Damn, kid. Hope you got your Jimmy Hat. Tommy's done with the road for 2016, but he brought Guess My Brown home from the Big City! Will Tina guess correctly? Bunz has an idea for a new business to help support our growing family. If you need a nail trimming, please don't cut them! We're coming over.  Plus fashion has never been Tommy's strong suit and he's apparently really owning that now. Jeans has something to say about Bunzies new apparel.  And she rocked your world with last weeks Yellow/Brown/Yellow revelation. This week, Tina has a NEW insight into how browns and yellows sometimes mix.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Christina guesses Tom's brown! And a surprise game! Dunkin' Doughnuts vs Krispy Kreme. What side are the mommies on? Rachel Dolezal and Tamar Braxton. Tina has new voicemails and texts on her phone. The joys of a new phone number. If you borrow $20 from Linda, you'd better pay her back ASAP! Is Shaq hanging with Chuck Woolery? The most annoying girl in social media and more! Enjoy mommies.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you mad at your Mommy? Well, let her know! DJ Dad Mouth is working on his mad beatz and skillz. Is there really a lady out there wanting to lick Tom's b-hole? Turns out yes, yes there is. Christina is being challenged on her inventing the term "POS". Can she explain her way out of this one? Also, Mommy C raises a question that brings her to tears. Would You Rathers! Tom gives his insight into the new Matt Damon film.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’re feeling hungry we have just the thing for you - a very special PICNIC. Make sure you bring your appetite because this is the kind of picnic that lets you keep on eating!  Did Christina come up with an expression that is very popular in our vernacular or has it been around for more than a decade? It’s time to break it down. Plus Tommy has seen Christina flirt for long enough with the mailman and the Whole Farts check out boy. Could he be getting to know a super market girl as more than a friend??!?!?  Diego AKA Thursday Lane set the podcast world on fire, but some people are saying “Too Much!” What will YOU say when he marries a fart?  Guess My Brown debuts and an NFL players has something to say about the Cincinnati Fart , you know what I’m saying? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you smell those jeans is when I feel the strongest. Those and of course grey sweatpants.  We missed you and this episode is almost a day late, but we promise that it's worth it. Of course there's porn being played in various California Target stores, but of course the Mommies have a good plan on how this rascal can up his game.  Plus more fun sex audio and rap songs that are simply delightful.  But we know why you're here this week and quite simply, yes, we have Diego AKA Thursday Lane and people are eager to help him smell man butt for hours and hours. It's all in these Jeans.      Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jeans Up! We got it all on this one and there's no way you are ready. Dumb hooker math? Yup! Greezy Chuck? Mm-HMM! Seagal nonsense? You know it! What about something that might blow all of our minds and even some of our butts? What about a gas man who really wants it, puts it out there and even TALKS to us about it? Well, just press play because no description can do this episode justice.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tommy trimmed his beard and in doing so lost 40 pounds! Was it all hair or does he have an incurable disease? He thinks he knows and Tina doesn't agree! If you sweat at night you may want to get some blood work done today. Nothing seems quite as ridiculous as a sports fan losing his mind - especially if it's not in YOUR sport. Luckily, we have one of those guys and he has a wonderful accent. We are masters of accents on this show and will prove it.  We ALL know about King A** Ripper and his glorious skills - is someone ready to take the throne from him?!?! It appears that a PRINCE is near! Plus we finally put Peter Caine to rest and we top if off with an OMG Maria call for the AGES! Do NOT Kiss her P***y! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you feel something in your shorts and it feels like you should go to the bathroom, you probably should. Thankfully, we have audio of someone who didn't.  What about a Dad Jokes Only tour? Would you get tickets? Huh? C'mon, buddy! Multiple choice!! OKAY!!! Should a wipe ALWAYS be clean? We debate as ONE OF US believes that a little something on there is fine. I mean, why use paper AT ALL?!? Dental update: If you're old, be old. Teeth included. Veneers make you look INSANE.  Plus a Peter Caine update - he isn't happy with any of us. Is it because we don't own a Raven? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Drink Mountain Dew before bed! A riveting Dental Update from Tom - buckle up you will be shocked. Kamala Devi revelations (our favorite Poly-Bi couple). Safe Haven pooping locations. Christina is getting hit on by black guys now more than ever! Plus a special phone call with a YMH favorite - Peter Caine. Huge episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices