Ten Ideas

Ten Ideas is back, with new co-host Anna Drezen, and we got fresh new ideas you can plant in little cuts in your body and watch them grow grow grow. Pink ponk pink, that's a good-a podcast yum yum eat it up. RIP Ryan Williams forever. You're telling ideas to God now. Bell.

Hey!! Guess who's back! Ten Ideas is! Next week we got new episodes and a new host, but in the meantime enjoy our newly activated archives where you can listen to all the Ten Ideas you could ever want and THIS: the infamous lost episode of Ten Ideas called Hot Snow, with best sport in the world and very patient guest, Yoni Lotan.

Halle Kiefer and Dan Chamberlain, both beloved of the show and of G_D, are in the studio this week and we've all got so much to learn: neat facts shouted at us from the bleachers, what kind of beautiful dog we'd leave our families for, the deeply rooted anxieties of the american clown, how to swap a soup, a recipe for the biggest pancake in Indiana, and the best picnic aperitif to share beneath the historic Glen Canyon Juggalo/HumanAnt Canopy. WE'RE HAVING A LIVE SHOW!!! ON FEB 28TH!! EMAIL WEHAVETENIDEAS AT GMAIL DOT COM TO RESERVE TICKETS!!

TRIGGER WARNING: If old-fashioned, politically tone deaf terms for the mentally handicapped and developmentally disabled bother you or upset you or offend you, you do not want to listen to this week's AMAZING episode of Ten Ideas with BRILLIANT guests Anna Drezen and Damian Chadwick! Seriously, if the idea of all the developmentally disabled people in the world living together on a big mountain overlooking a Sea World orca tank is something that will make you sad or angry and you do not want to feel sad or angry, then go listen to The Nerdist or something. I hear Beyonce is on their show this week and guess what, the boys are big fans and they let her know it. Hear more Anna Drezen @annadrezen and more Damian @damianchadwick. Send all complaints to ryan.williams@gmail.com

Uh oh! Churlish little scamp James Dwyer is back and he's just full of beans! Beans and arena-based mock naval battles and camera balls and nut-do-nuts and shitting/crying garb cans and spray-on condoms and A WHOLE TUB OF GLUM. Glum for everybody! GLUM! GLUM! GLUM! GLUM!

David Bluvband is in the studio this week, our last show of 2014 (Go '14 for it!), and oh god you can see his 'fish foot' through his body sock. That's not all you can see! Take an aural gander at our judgmental teeth, the Rockette's vulva-alt-world, and Dr. Amanda's Fantastimagical Subway Money Raffle. Happy New Year everyone! You can follow David via twit-twit @bluvband

Caitlin Bitzegaio and Dan Glaser are with us this week which makes a party of four at a great little table high above the Colorado River on the plexiglass expanse of the New Grand Canyon Memorial Glass Coffee Table of America. Grab a chair, stake your claims, and hold my hand ;)

Hail Lil' Romeo, Hail, for it was he who gave us the Flip 'n' Go's that bedeck our country by-ways and fill our Winter Olympics and certified the Dentist Rodmans and it was he who gave us our guests this week, Karin Hammerberg and Sal Gentile. Hail him for oooh baby what a caesar.This year make sure 10% of your personal pet intestinal snakes go to Lil' Romeo. Follow Karin @karilouhamm and Lil Sal' @salgentile

Granted, since we were shrunk down to minuscule size by our Dad's shrink ray it's been hard to navigate this public men's restroom, but Mike Scollins is here now and everything's gonna be fine. Avoid the uncircumcised horse, don't huff the rubber garbage spray and everything will be fine. We'll be home in no time. And if not, just gland gas yourself and forget I promised we would be. Don't forget to follow @mikescollins for real good fun you like!

Take your tongue out and settle in, Diana Kolsky and Cory Palmer are in the studio this week, or at least their brains-in-tanks are. We got giants (with the guess what); we got Scream Wallets (you know who), and we got a whole nerf arena you can drunk drive in if you want (you know you do). The safeword is "Rosebud."

Come little children and listen up now your time is a coming, and this'll be how. You'll yell and you'll scream, run up and down aisles, You'll kick backs of seats and you'll do it with smiles. But the KACKIT is watching. The KACKIT sees all. And when you're not looking, The KACKIT will fall from the overhead bin where your mom stowed her bag. The KACKIT will grab you, and off you'll be dragged to a part of the plane where no one must go to a black, freezing room only KACKIT-kin know. So settle down childrenand stop all your tears stop yelling, stop screaming, stop making noise here. For the KACKIT will hear you and take you away, deep in the dark, and your parents will say "Such a shame such a shame, it just isn't right. Oh 'twere our child back! but until then This is such a nice flight."

Siobhan Thompson (!) is on Ten Ideas this week to do two things: use her iron talismans to keep the Fey at bay and measure places by how Narnia they are. And guess what? She's all out of iron talismans. You'll need a hot subway Barbicide shower to wash the stink of this one off you, babies. Listen up and find Siobhan @vornietom somewhere inside the Twitterplex.

You've heard of the animated classic They're Back! but WE'RE back?? Now I've typed everything. Ryan's out of the hospital (voluntary surgery re: face stuff) and Ten Ideas is back with a delightful little sassy-puss named James Dwyer. Give a listen, don't pollute.

Pat O'brien and Ben Wietmarschen are our guests this week and we got a corker. A real corker. What is this? A podcast or the mouth of a bottle of champagne, because all I see is a bunch of corks! JK, unless if by corks you mean a bunch of corn steelin' ghaggots. We're swimmin in those. You can see Ben and Pat in their spectacular stage show Baseball Is America at the UCB Theater on September 22nd at 8pm, visit here for more info and tickets: http://newyork.ucbtheatre.com/shows/view/3849

Tim and Tom from the seminal The Complete Guide to Everything podcast are our guests this week and boy oh boy is it fun. And by fun I mean A LOT of Elizabeth Warren talk, a prescription for Doctor Thunder's Healthy Baby Elixir and Unguent, Ryan thinks bottle scavengers are bugs not humans, and Tim sneaks onto a roller coaster to take indie before and after coaster pics. These guys are darlings or your money back. Check out Taylor's cool new T-Shirt line here http://kck.st/1oRgAQ1 and Ryan's desperate plea for donations here http://kck.st/1nhvU7k

This week, filmmaker and libertine Kirk Larsen shows us the front of his hands, the back of his hands, where the little boy made of pop tarts lives in his condo, what happens when you don't play by the rules, the future of barber vlogs, and just so much more. Start listening now; the pizza guy will come soon.

This week, New York Comedian James Dwyer plants his flag in the pliant mons pubis of Ten Ideas and makes naked the nascent racism in "Dixie", plumbs the depths of Jeff Foxworthy's prophetic under-mind, and buys loosie potato chips for all the turtisses in his Fun-Drunk Colony. Sew your lips together and settle in; this is a good one.

Tall wheelchairs, dolphin-cam robot articulators, beef sashimi, American Idol theme restaurant hostess training, jerky stew, another idea about meat, commuter simulation for mandatory ab havers, and a new way to....wait. Hold up. You got some boozefruit in your lip chimes. Other side. There ya go, you got it. What was I saying?

This week, Steve Theiss and Zack Willis will goosestep into your ears and then stomp the yard of your heart. From the Cambodian Killing Fields to the Basque of the Giraffe Half, everyone loves this episode of Ten Ideas. This is a good one.

Langan Kingsley and Aaron Jackson are in the Ten Ideas Cathedral today and they are dolling out liturgy after liturgy of great ideas that are gonna knock your ass back into the Gay Library where you belong. Try not to slip on the rosary beads, and don't step on Toko. He's a littl--oh dang man, you got Toko everywhere.