Movies With Ron

Get ready for a rip-roaring ride of a recap, because Ron went to see It Comes At Night, starring Joel Edgerton, Christopher Abbott, Carmen Ejogo, and Riley Keough as survivors during the time of "monsters." Also: some T1000, Flatliners, Captain Underpants, and zombie movies. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

Ron kicks off the Dark Universe with The Mummy, starring Tom Cruise as a freelance treasure hunter who uncovers... well, you get the idea. And check out Ron's killer Russell Crowe impression. Also: a new board game, Wonder Woman vs. Old Farts, Sony, and "kalima shakti de!" *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

Ron recaps the classic story of a female Thor (Gal Gadot) fished out of water and thrown into the hell of World War I, also starring Chris Pine. Also: Henry is a monkey, the Dark Universe, Bogart, and David Alan Greer. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

Where does a pirate put his movies? In a Vee See Arrrrrrrrrrr! Starring Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Brenton Thwaites, and Kaya Scodelario as swashbucklers pitted against a group of zombie pirates (again). Curses and medallions abound (again)! Ron's back from vacation; get at him on Twitter @movieswithron and let him know what you think of his Javier Bardem impression :) *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

This week, Chris finds out Alien: Covenant, starring Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, and Danny McBride, is just James Cameron's Aliens! Get your friends out of cryo-sleep for this one. Also: closing doors, fixing Passengers, Zac Efron, and check out VHSRevival.com *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

This week, Jim Carrey and Keanu Reeves switch brains, Troma's got a podcast, notbadforahuman.com, Hellboy, and Ron recaps the new Guy Ritchie King Arthur flick starring Charlie Hunnam, Jude Law, Eric Bana, and Aidan Gillen. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

It's showtime, A-holes! Hope you don't mind us dropping a motherload of an episode on you. Just gonna leave this here and walk away slowly... You know the story of the Guardians of the Galaxy, but this time it's personal. Starring Chris Pratt as Starlord, Zoe Saldana as Gamora, Dave Bautista as Drax, Vin Diesel as Baby Groot, Bradley Cooper as Rocket Racoon, Michael Rooker as Yondu, and Kurt Russell as a big planet. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

And right when you were starting to forget Lloyd Bridges existed. Holy cow, Hot Shots! is quite the blast from our past: a slapstick spoof of Top Gun starring Charlie Sheen, Cary Elwes, Valeria Golino, and Jon Cryer, from the same filmmakers of Naked Gun and Airplane! Also: there's a movie called The Baby (1973), Matt Damon and Prince, Sam Was Here, The Nun, David Fincher, and some Jeffblum.

Move over, Reservoir Dogs. This 70s-era action thriller stars Brie Larson, Cillian Murphy, and Sharlto Copley about a seedy gun deal gone wrong. Also: Andrei Tarkovsky's Stalker, financial realities of independent filmmaking, and Bubbles. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

Ron makes Fantastic Beasts sound like a pretty decent movie. It's the story of a Hogwarts drop-out who travels to America and, through a series of unfortunate events, releases a sh!tload of magical beasts upon people, starring Eddie Redmayne. The gang goes into length about why we're not doing the new Fast & Furious movie, and we pitch our best Phantasm porn parody! *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

Ron recaps They Live, a techno-apocalyptic story of a homeless professional wrestler who uncovers a dark secret brainwashing the people around him. Also: Tom Cruise is the mummy, doesthedogdie.com, Avatar 2, and a Moon/Mute connection. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

This week, Ron demystifies Ghost in the Shell, a futuristic police/noir thriller about a bad-ass robot that just needs a little space and wants to find herself, based on the hit Manga, starring Scarlett Johansson. Also: the most horrific death in movie history, some of that new Venom movie, Super Troopers 2, and The Big T!ts Dragon. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

We want what is yours: LIFE! Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Rebecca Ferguson, Ryan Reynolds, Hiroyuki Sanada, and Olga Dihovichnaya, about a group of astronauts pitted against the first form of life found on mars. Also: Rick works on his Schwarzenegger, The Black Ghiandola, and tell John Tesh "Movies with Ron" sent you. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

The ball is back! Don't worry about seeing Phantasm I; this episode's all you need. Ron delivers an excellent recap about Mike and Reggie, two friends on a roadtrip through hell to find the elusive Tall Man who is harvesting our dead for devious deeds. Also: he who walks behind the rows, and put some Foghat in your movie. If you wanna skip the chatter and go straight to the recap: 17min04sec *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

Chris pisses Candy off, Ron recaps an excellent Kong: Skull Island starring Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L. Jackson, Brie Larson, and John C. Reilly, a little bit on Thor: Ragnarok, Why isn't there a Pixar film about ducks?, and the gang justifies some more horror movie villains. If you'd like to skip straight to the recap: 19min34sec. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

This week, Ron recaps Logan, starring Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart, about our favorite cigar-munching hero who must protect a young mutant from a society that has eradicated the rest of the X-Men. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

This just in: Hayao Miyazaki is out of retirement! Ron recaps Get Out, and it's pretty damn good, but is it worthy of 100% Tomatometer? Also, what the Justice League movie should have been, female film protagonists, and movies that feature pencils as weapons. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

"Reeves... all good episodes start with Keanu Reeves." Hey folks, this time we have The LEGO Batman Movie for ya. Hope you can understand Ron through all of Chris' laughing, 'cuz this one's a riot. Also: Screw nail guns, horror movie villians are always in the right, and Chris wants to piss off Stephen King. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

Ron recaps John Wick: Chapter 2 with a lil help from our friend Ahnold, starring Keanu Reeves as the titular assassin who's just trying to get outta the game, but gets roped into paying off a debt to a slick Italian assassin, also starring Riccardo Scamarcio, Ian McShane, Ruby Rose, Common, Laurence Fishburne, and John Leguizamo. Don't forget to check out 1981's Dragonslayer! *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

Grab some gear. You're gonna need it. Ron goes to see the worst movie possible and delivers our best episode ever. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*