Tall Tales & Shaggy Dogs: Stories And Short Humor By Abner Serd

The other day down at Elmer's Cafe, a bunch of us regulars were bragging about our most dangerous escapades and feats of derring-do ...

It was summer vacation, and Jessica wanted to be in two places at once ...

My friend Jimmy Fingerbutton invented a perpetual motion machine. I was the first person he showed it to. I guess he figured I had the right qualifications, on account of I passed high school physics on the first try and I'm pretty good at keeping a straight face ...

In Upper Tidwell lived a boy Named Jeremiah Crumping / Who couldn't stand for very long without commencing jumping ...

My friend Stretch claims to know more about nothing than anybody else on the planet. He said “believe me, there's a lot more to it than most people realize ...”

Marco always dreamed about traveling to faraway places. All his life, he had never been anywhere – unless you counted his grandmother's house, which was so far away you had to pack a lunch for the journey ...

By the way, Vern swears there are no dragons in this story ...

Here's a little song in honor of the Springtime planting season ...

Well, I'll say one thing about the Gumption Track: it's well-marked. The roadies did not skimp on signage, even though it seems like they never actually got around to building the road itself ...

Here's another little song for the kids: when you think about it, bees are just Nature's miniature flying alarum clocks ...

There were two new faces down at Elmer's Cafe the other day. I walked in the door, saw this young couple sitting on the six and seven stools, talking to each other while Elmer stood around looking exasperated. I said “hot dang! I'll have the Blue Moon Special” ...

Theophilus Papadopoulos had to write an essay for school. It was supposed to be about a famous philosopher, and it couldn't be about anybody he knew ...

Well, the rain never let up, from dawn till dusk ... although, in all fairness, I don't know if you could even call it a dawn, seeing as how nobody remembered to light the sky ...

Here's a little song about a snowman who rolled into town at the tail end of Winter ...

My friend Miles Walker and I were hiking down the Yonder Track on our way to Glory not too long ago. You know Glory – the legendary city where all your dreams come true, and where even ordinary pronouns are elevated to the exalted level of proper noun ... *** NOTE: this is a revised, enhanced, and improved version of Episode 164 ***

Sue Spender was on her way to school one morning when she found a penny lying heads-down on the sidewalk. She wondered how it got there. Could it have fallen out of someone's pocket? Would they miss it? ...

As far as I'm concerned, Gumption is the kind of place where the only reason to go there is to say you've been there ...

Young Brian was always asking questions. He wanted to know how the world worked. He wanted to know why it worked. He wanted to know when it worked, and when it played. Because, you know, NOBODY works ALL the time ...

I caught up with my friend Stretch the other day. He was headed north out of town, along the Coastal Road. I said "hey, Stretch. Where are you going?" He said "Gumption ..."

Another song for the kids: Imagine if you could see yourself in a snowflake! ...