Smalley Marriage Radio

Then Jesus answered his thoughts. “Simon,” he said to the Pharisee, “I have something to say to you.” “Go ahead, Teacher,” Simon replied. Then Jesus told him this story: “A man loaned money to two people—500 pieces of silver to one and 50 pieces to the other. But neither of them could repay him, so he kindly forgave them both, canceling their debts. Who do you suppose loved him more after that?” Simon answered, “I suppose the one for whom he canceled the larger debt.” Luke 7:40-43 Those who realize they are in the most need of forgiveness are the ones who will respond with the most love and gratitude. Jesus wasn’t trying to point out that Simon was somehow rude, but that the woman showed “extraordinary” love.  People who assume they are all good will never experience the kind of love Jesus is offering because they don’t understand their own brokenness. How does Jesus want you to love others? Recognize your need for forgiveness and give that to others. Be lovingHave gratitude: the quality of being tha

  “No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you.” John 14:18 In this statement Jesus is assuring his freaked out disciples during the last supper. For the Jews, they often compared a Rabbi to a father and if a disciple’s Rabbi died they would compare themselves to orphans. “A commitment to an ongoing relationship and to the attitude and behaviour demanded by it. It is evident in human relationships and also in the covenant relationship between God and his people.” (Martin Manser) God keeps his promises, which is the example to follow. “Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.” Hebrews 10:23 “Praise the LORD who has given rest to his people Israel, just as he promised. Not one word has failed of all the wonderful promises he gave through his servant Moses.” 1 Kings 8:56 How does Jesus want you to treat others? Ruth 1:16-17 “But Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you

“I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!” John 15:11 Remember how we’ve talked about one of the results of abiding in Jesus and obeying his commands is joy? The fruit of the true disciple is joy, and frankly, no matter what. Jesus wants you to treat others just like he treats you. It’s what shows people around you that you’re a true disciple of Jesus.  The bible uses the word here for joy in two ways. It can either be in feeling or in action. You are expressing a positive intention about a past or future action/event... Even how we remember can be covered in joy if we remain in Jesus. And most certainly how we plan to act on some offense in the future matters to Jesus. How does Jesus want you to love others… Be filled with JOY, no matter what. Two things stood out to me in trying to understand this statement:   Be joy, in your actions, thoughts and attitude. That kind of freedom is the result of loving Jesus. Expect joy, treat others

"God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted. God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth." Matthew 5:3-5 In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus starts with Eight Beatitudes or blessings for a specific type of person/attitude/character.  For me, you can summarize Jesus’ promises recorded here as, how joyful are the ones who recognize they only need God! How does Jesus want you to treat others? Recognize your need and total dependence on God to love others well. You can’t do it apart from God...period.  Develop a humble and God-dependent heart and you will be more gentle with the ones you love and the ones who are difficult. God-dependent people are simply more gracious and kind and gentle. You can become like the great Saints of the bible: David — “The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise

Where individuals sat at an ancient Jewish table for a meal mattered.  The seating arrangement was highly important. Jesus knew who was going to betray him, Judas, and yet he gave Judas the seat to his left! This was the seat reserved by the host for the person designated as most honored guest! How does Jesus want you to love others? Be a servant, lay down your life.  My dad used to ask women in audience around the world, “How many of you ladies would have a problem submitting to a dead man?” Extreme example, but it hits the point! You can submit to and serve each other when you feel like the other person has your best interest in mind and isn’t trying to take advantage of you but rather is trying to serve you. If someone you love is shut down toward you, take the initiative and serve.  Serving others is a powerful way to open their spirit back up! And you serve others regardless of how they are treating you.  Jesus knew Judas was going to betray him.  He knew it! Yet still he g

“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 “Jesus teaches Nicodemus that God’s only motive is love. Jesus hasn’t been sent into the world to judge, punish and sentence to death. He has come to reveal the light and show the love of God. He longs that people should stop preferring darkness and clinging to shame.” (Knowles, A. (2001). The Bible guide (1st Augsburg books ed., p. 510). Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg.) So how are you supposed to love others? Like God loves you “A twenty-six-word parade of hope: beginning with God, ending with life, and urging us to do the same. Brief enough to write on a napkin or memorize in a moment, yet solid enough to weather two thousand years of storms and questions. If you know nothing of the Bible, start here.” Max Lucado

“So don’t be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom.” Luke 12:32 “Little flock” refers to believers who belong to God’s kingdom and live under God’s loving care (vv. 22–31). This image recalls the Old Testament's depiction of God as a caring shepherd of His people (e.g., Psa 77:20; Jer 13:17; Mic 4:8). The true disciple is not afraid because of a sincere trust in God. The true disciple doesn’t draw their security from things, or people, or places but from God. This makes you free to give to others when called upon. If their treasure (or security) is money, then that will be their consuming passion. Making money one’s treasure is the path to insecurity… (Schreiner, T. R. (1995). Luke. In Evangelical Commentary on the Bible (Vol. 3, p. 823). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House.) Why did Jesus make this statement? “We stop focusing our quest on things, and we start selling what we don’t need and turning our stockpiled resources into ministri

“If you love me, obey my commandments.” When he makes this statement, it was a big evening for Jesus.  It’s his formal farewell to his disciples, his friends.   And his friends are freaking out! They are scared. How does Jesus decide to comfort them? He promises the Holy Spirit - the great comforter. The one who would guide, teach, encourage, empower, and mediate on behalf of the believer. Ultimately he was giving them the comforting presence of himself - Jesus. The provision of Jesus that will bring about this relationship is declared to be the indwelling Spirit (vv. 15–17) Holy Spirit has two new names:  the Paraclete (NIV Counselor, v. 16) the Spirit of truth Paraclete (Gk. parakletos) is unique to John (elsewhere 14:26; 15:26; 16:7; 1 John 2:1) and expresses the Spirit’s strengthening, equipping role.  A parakletos was a judicial advocate (cf. Matt. 10:16–20) and here Jesus says that Christians alone can enjoy his aid (John 14:17). How does this help your relationship? When y

Let His promises protect your relationship John 15:5 (Part 1 - the critical importance of intimacy with Jesus) “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” “What prompts Jesus to use this image? His figures (shepherd, bread, water, light) all came from ancient Jewish traditions. If Jesus left the Upper Room in 14:30, he may have stopped at the temple to teach and to pray. At the entrance of the Holy Place (west of the altar), steps led to a linen curtain covered with purple, scarlet, and blue flowers. Solid gold chains hung alongside the curtain from the door beam. Above the curtain (beneath the roof line) grew a gigantic grapevine of pure gold, representing Israel. Wealthy citizens could bring gifts to add to the vine (gold tendrils, grapes, or leaves), and these would be added by metal workers to the ever-growing vine.  Josephus claims that some of the grape clusters were the “height of a man.” The vi

'Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”'  John 8:31-32 The NT stresses the need for believers to remain in Christ. The reality of this close personal relationship with Jesus Christ is expressed in obedience to his word and is essential to effective discipleship. How do you abide in Jesus? Hold to his teaching (1 John 2:24) Obedience to him (John 15:10) Live like Jesus (1 John 2:6) But this is not accomplished without Communion (John 6:56) The Spirit’s anointing (1 John 2:27) By faith (Ephesians 3:17-19) How does this help your relationship? Fruitfulness (John 15:4-5) The picture of “bearing fruit” may cover many aspects of Christian life but it includes that of developing Christian character, effective Christian service and mission. These result, not from human effort, but from abiding in Christ. Answered Prayer (John 15:16) Freedom from persistent sin (1

Follow Him  John 1:43 (Part 1 - the critical importance of intimacy with Jesus) “The next day Jesus decided to go to Galilee.  He found Philip and said to him, ‘Come, follow me.’” Our theme so far has been to not just believe, but obey.  To respond and don’t waste time doing what Jesus desires most.  That is where we find freedom. Today is about the cost of following Jesus Your family (Matthew 10:37-38) Your own life (Luke 14:26-27) Your pride (Mark 8:34) In essence, it will cost you anything you value more than Jesus. We must accept and follow Jesus’ leadership, command and guidance. How does this help your relationship? Freedom. When Jesus is #1, you can’t help but react to that person who matters most to you in a fruit of the spirit! “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” Galatians 5:22-23 “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” Mark Twain  

'From then on Jesus began to preach, “Repent of your sins and turn to God, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near.”' Matthew 4:17 A true disciple is not first a learner or reader of his words.  You are a doer. In v19 Jesus says, “Come follow me”. The first command of Jesus’ public ministry was, “repent”. Jesus wants an inward change because nothing else will stick if you don’t first address YOUYour actions need to be immediate v20 “Immediately they left their nets and followed him.”A friend’s wife was giving a sermon where she shared this same advice, because it’s what she did.  Drugs, alcohol, miserable. Meets a janitor at the church who tells her to repent and go and tell everyone that she now believes in Jesus.Repent is “to turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one’s life.”

The transformational power of Jesus’ words John 14:23 "Jesus replied,“All who love me will do what I say. My Father will love them, and we will come and make our home with each of them.”  John 14:23 If you really love Jesus, you’ll do what he says! Get to know his commands All his commands are either about loving God or loving others. “The first thing to notice is that loving Jesus is not the same as keeping his commandments. It precedes and gives rise to keeping the commandments. Keeping his word is the result of loving him, not the same as loving him.” John Piper Love is the root, obedience is the fruit. God responds to our love and loves with a unique, personal, intimate, affectionate, caring, committed love that belongs only to those who love his Son. We get the Holy Spirit We get Jesus.  He will give us what orphans need: they need protection and provision and guidance. So how does this transform your marriage? When you feel lost, you’ve got the Holy Spirit “Therefore, love him. Kee

Great relationships have grit:  Passion and Perseverance GRIT: firmness of character; indomitable spirit; pluck (dictionary.com) Passion an intense desire or enthusiasm for something. strong and barely controllable emotion. a thing arousing enthusiasm. the suffering and death of Jesus. Perseverance steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success. other words for perseverance:  persistence, tenacity, determination, staying power, steadfastness, purposefulness… What does this mean for your relationship?  Everything!

'Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.  Ephesians 5:1-2 MSG What is your dream statement To honor God and others by relentlessly pursuing authentic relationships, valuing hospitality, self-awareness, diversity, adventure, joy and freedom in Christ. Validate each other’s dreams Your official Dream Statement should be a healthy combination of both your desires. Matthew 7:12 “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.” Ask what we can do to further develop and encourage each other’s dreams. What do you think would be the best way for us to pursue authentic relationships? What kind of adventure would

Without a clear and defined purpose (which we will from now on refer to as your DREAM) how can you expect your marriage to be all it can be? If you do not know where you are headed together as a couple, or what kind of legacy you want to leave through your children and moments of your marriage, then how can you expect to truly enjoy your marriage. Spending day after day in a bottomless pit of indecision, confusion, and lack of a dream will (or already has) take a huge toll on your marriage happiness and enjoyment. “A man without a vision is a man without a future. A man without a future will always return to his past.” (P.K. Bernard) “With a clear vision of what we can become in Christ, no ocean of difficulty is too great. Without it, we rarely move beyond our current boundaries.”  Lynn Anderson, “They Smell Like Sheep: Spiritual Leadership for the 21st Century” Psalms 20:4 “May he grant your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed.” “Vision is the bridge between the present and the future. W

Tim and Nancy's story should inspire anyone about what it takes to stay committed to each other through "sickness and in health"! Tim wrote: Since 1979 I have lived with the consequences of a brain-based mental health challenge called bipolar disorder. Through these years I have experienced episodes of extreme mania, protracted periods of dark depression, as well as eruptions of psychosis. Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison, a leading authority and herself a diagnosed bipolar, clearly expresses the effects of this brain disorder in her book, “Touched with Fire.” She wrote that bipolar illness “encompasses the extremes of human experience. Thinking can range from florid psychosis, or ‘madness,’ to patterns of unusually clear, fast, and creative associations, to retardation [slowing down] so profound that no meaningful activity can occur.”* This very succinctly and accurately describes how I have often experienced bipolar disorder. Hear their story through this special interview and learn how to "reflect the compassi

Relentless Community Hebrews 10:23-25 “23 Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. 24 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. 25 And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” Live your life each day with a purpose, to stir one another to acts of love and good works. Why do you wake up each day? If you don’t ask yourself this question, you are purposeless which is like lifelessness. Community isn’t a story, it’s an experience and filled with story after story after story.  It’s why I came here for my surgery. I knew I would be Loved Not judged Encouraged Filled with hope God’s plan for your life is to wake up each day and… Choose hope (v23) Because he is a promise keeper, and there is nothing we need to fear But this isn’t the kind of hope you sit on, your hope should stir you up to act, and

Relentless Grace No matter how far you run away or how disobedient you are, God still loves you and bathes you with His unending grace Phillip Holmes wrote, “He’s not ignorant of all the ways we’ve sinned against him. He knows everything we’ve ever done and is able to stomach it. His knowledge of who we really are will never hinder his love for us. He’s even aware of the evil behind our righteous deeds. The intimacy by which the Lord knows us but is able to lovingly embrace us as his children is supernatural. God’s grace is mind-blowing. Every time I think of this reality, I’m brought to tears because I serve a God whose love and grace baffle me.” https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/gods-grace-is-mind-blowing I blatantly rejected the voice of the Holy Spirit Heaviest - 138 kilograms I’ve lost 18 kilograms in three weeks No pain, no recovery, no problems of any kind! Joel 2:12-14 'But there’s also this, it’s not too late— God ’s personal Message!— “Come back to me and really mean it! Come fasting and w

Today we are talking about sex, possibly one of the greatest gifts outside of eternal life God ever gave humankind! To help us with this conversation, Dave Willis of strongermarriages.com, is going to lend his expertise...and trust me, this guy has millions of readers, likes, and more. Coming up next we talk about the 4 things every couple needs to know about sex. About Dave and Ashley Willis (www.strongermarriages.com) Almost 1 million likes on their Facebook page!https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriages/Millions of readers on their blogPastor at Stevens Creek Church near Augusta, GeorgiaAuthors of The 7 Day Marriage Challenge (Husband edition and Wife edition)4 things every couple needs to know about sex Where do you come up with all this great content? Who was your inspiration to get into marriage ministry? What’s the worst fight you and Ashley have had? Most MEN see sex as a form of stress relief while most WOMEN need stress relief BEFORE they can be in mindset to make love.Deeper TRANSPARENCY outsi