Smalley Marriage Radio

  The health of your emotional relationship If you don’t feel loved, you don’t want to show love The specific things you are doing to kill your sexual intimacy Invalidation How you respond to your spouse matters. Lack of affirmation Negative beliefs Here’s how you eliminate them Invalidation Start to validate each other Empathize Lack of affirmation Make a list of what you appreciate about your spouse (you can do this on our app) Don’t wait till you feel like affirming your spouse, do it because it is the right thing to do. Your spouse isn’t pure evil! Negative beliefs Ask questions Assume the best instead of the worst all the time Each one of these fixes takes important choices.  Stop acting like a victim and do the right thing regardless of whether your spouse deserves it.

  Initiate don’t hesitate… “So slide over here; And give me a moment; Your moves are so raw; I've got to let you know; I've got to let you know; You're one of my kind…” “Honestly, do you really even need a list?” so said my 20 yr old daughter! Be open to change and creativity. Build excitement and anticipation. Serve up a five star meal, meat and potatoes or a fast food meal. Enjoy sex with him, because he truly desires your pleasure too! Stop criticizing him for being a man, sex is not just for pleasure, it is also his way to bond with you and connect emotionally. Leave the lights on for a possible change, men tend to be visually stimulated. Be affirming. Plan sex.  That’s right, talk with your husband and discover how many times he’d enjoy having sex in a month and what kinds of things he enjoys.  

How to survive the drive! Keep it positive Give each other the benefit of the doubt Are you really supposed to blow everything off? No, you can’t really, but before you say anything Ask yourself, “Is this a life or death issue?” “Could I be judged for the same thing?” In the heat of the moment, should you wait, even if it’s just five minutes? What’s my goal in saying anything...Shame? Apology? Correct? In order to survive the drive, chill, take a breath, and keep these questions front and center if anything comes up.

This isn't just another top 10 list! In fact, the first thing on the list is something my father shared with me before I got married, and let me tell you, he was right!  Amy joins me once again to have an honest conversation about how to experience the best sex of your life!   In today's show, we give you the top 10 things a husband can do to get his wife excited about sex.  You'll be surprised by some of them, but there's something important we discuss that every man better know!

One of the most popular posts on our website is titled, "Is oral sex ok for a Christian couple?"  It's time we clear some things up for couples and what is allowed or not allowed sexually between a husband and wife.  Is there any limit to how a husband and wife can pleasure each other when it comes to sex? Discover how to have an honest conversation with your spouse about sex and what you like and what you don't like.

Married sex is the best sex Why do a series of shows on sex? Married sex is the best sex! Because it seems as though this is the topic of conversation you, the listener is most interested in. Our number one show is titled “Is Oral sex allowed for a Christian couple”. Oddly enough most couples don’t ever truly learn about the needs and desires of their spouse...so we are going to help facilitate a conversation about them. There is still a lot of misinformation out there for couples, we want to clear the air and get you on the right path for a healthy sex life. Let’s start off this series with some good ole healthy facts and figures about sex and the married couple Married people have the best sex Sex isn’t only about personal pleasure, it’s about loving someone unconditionally and meeting their needs intimacy wise. PsychologyToday.com “For example, if you have sex twice a week you may experience the equivalent of being two years younger than your chronological age, as well as benefiting from a signifi

Have you ever wanted to quit on your relationship, because you feel like it’s just too hard?  We’ve got another episode of Your Story Matters today, meet John and Erin Kadleck. Your story is God’s story.  He gets the glory for your redemption. They rushed to get married, because he was getting deployed to Afghanistan. “He came back a different person.” “He was keeping things from me to protect me.” As he withdrew, she felt more rejected and felt like it was her fault. John would drink himself to sleep every night. Poor communication spiraled out-of-control. Sometimes our hearts are in the right place, but we have poor execution. John’s fear was that if he shared his struggles or fears, Erin would reject him. Holding the secrets from her, was a dark cloud in their relationship. After he shared, all Erin did was hug John. Erin had a strong commitment, and it was her commitment to the marriage and John that kept them together through the hard times. “I was pushing her away, isolating mysel

Jonathan Decker is the clinical director of Your Family Expert. He is a licensed marriage and family therapist, husband, and father of five. Jonathan earned a masters degree in family therapy from Auburn University as well as a bachelor’s degree in clinical psychology from Brigham Young University. He runs YourFamilyExpert.com. He’s a “genius billionaire playboy”.  Stage comedy. Passionate about interface efforts to strengthen families and communities.  He won the BYU talent show for his one man act based on the Lord of the Rings. Five kids?  How do you manage that and what are you going to do when they all turn into teenagers? What does “Vulnerable = Powerful” mean to you and how does that impact a relationship? “Our country is a dysfunctional family.” Celebrity impressions Pee Wee Herman Napoleon Dynamite Kermit Smeagle Sean Connery Chewbacca You do movie reviews, give me one word reviews for the following movies The Exorcist? Mary Poppins? Deliverance? Pete the Magic Dragon?

"Though paved with pain and heartache, the seasons I struggled the most have also become the seasons I cherish the most. For in those seasons, I found myself at the feet of a good, good Father, lavished with grace, mercy and hope." Amanda Voigt Amanda’s journey with infertility. How did it all unravel? “It’s lonely.”  “Your friends get the dream and you’re not.” “I had to be excited to see my best friend’s baby in the hospital.” How does it feel when people try to “Christianese” your suffering. “It’s a blow when you’re already down.” You just need to sit with someone and try to feel what they are feeling. Don’t try and make it better or find answers for them. How did you manage the process of infertility? Looking to adopt. Insurance ended up paying for it with Luke’s new job. It’s not wrong to seek infertility treatment. What did your journey with God look like? “I got knocked to my knees.” Broke down with her mother, and her mother realized she couldn’t fix it for her. God spoke to her an

Your Story Matters is a series of shows focused on you, the listener.  Listen as Amy Smalley showcases women's stories of triumph and victory over seemingly impossible obstacles.  Each woman featured in this series of special podcasts has a story to share that will inspire and motivate you. Today's show features Lauren Zachry, a woman plagued by drugs but pursued by an unconditionally loving man.  If you struggle in life, you don't want to miss this show because Lauren's story can lead you to feel like you're "drowning in joy"!  

Today we are talking about sex, possibly one of the greatest gifts outside of eternal life God ever gave humankind! To help us with this conversation, Dave Willis of strongermarriages.com, is going to lend his expertise...and trust me, this guy has millions of readers, likes, and more. Coming up next we talk about the 4 things every couple needs to know about sex. About Dave and Ashley Willis (www.strongermarriages.com) Almost 1 million likes on their Facebook page! https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriages/Millions of readers on their blogPastor at Stevens Creek Church near Augusta, GeorgiaAuthors of The 7 Day Marriage Challenge (Husband edition and Wife edition) 4 things every couple needs to know about sex Where do you come up with all this great content?Who was your inspiration to get into marriage ministry?What’s the worst fight you and Ashley have had?Most MEN see sex as a form of stress relief while most WOMEN need stress relief BEFORE they can be in mindset to make love.Deeper TRANSPARENCY outside

Did you ever have that friend in college that you just couldn’t get rid of?  Me too, in fact, I’ve been trying to get rid of the guy on my show today for more than 20 years!  But now he’s made it onto my podcast, and he’s actually got something very cool he wants to share with you today.   We are talking cars, marriage, and possibly the four most important things you need to maintain in order for your marriage to thrive!

Over the last 6 shows you’ve learned the core skill taught in every one of our Smalley Marriage Intensives. Love Talk is by far the most powerful way to communicate with someone.  It is where feelings and needs can get expressed in a way that leads you naturally into win/win solutions.  Healthy communication is not Rocket Science!  But there are a few rules you need to understand and use when you are dealing with difficult topics or hurt feelings.

You are catching us at the tail end of our series on LOVE Talk, the most powerful communication method on earth! Last show you learned how to share your feeling and needs as the customer in a way that helps others receive them and honor them.  This week you get to learn how to find win/win solutions to your toughest conflicts.  You don't have to live with unresolved conflict any longer.  There are just a couple of things you need to learn in order to reach solutions where you both can be happy!

The last time we were with you, you discovered the role of employee and how that may be the most important role we learn when it comes to conflict resolution. On today’s show, you are going to learn how to be a great customer. You’ll want to list today, because we are going to show you how to communicate your feelings and needs (the most important things you want to share) in a way that your spouse or others can't help but to listen and validate you.

Previously on Smalley Marriage Radio you discovered the most powerful way to stop STUPID conflict by using a time-out. Today, you get to learn the role of employee, that if I’m honest, is possibly the most important role you can learn when it comes to resolving conflict. LOVE is the essence of LOVE Talk! (Listen, Own, Validate, and Express)The employee only worries about Listening and Validating.

How timeouts help you stop stupid conflict: Stop escalating,Get away from each other, this allows you to calm downPray, this allows you to gain perspectiveOwn your part, this allows your partner to hear you and not be so defensive

Last show we talked about the importance of having structure in how you resolve conflict. So you can’t just go all willy-nilly during conflict and think you’re going to get anything solved. Today is about the most powerful word picture in the history of the world when it comes to resolving conflict!  If you’re going to resolve conflict, then you are trying to replicate the experience you get when going through the drive-through at a Chick-fil-a.

I just received this question and it jumped right off the page at me! “Is oral sex something that is OK with the Lord, and, is it ok to dress up in a little nurse costume, or such. I know this sounds so crazy, but I am about to go out of my mind needing to know the answers to this question! We have two boys coming up and I want them to have the best life possible in the Lord………these questions are just not talked about enough! Thank you for your time and answer. May God richly bless you and all of your family! MICHAEL: I hate couples who miss out on the joy of sex with each other because they think there are some dos and don’ts—mainly developed through misconceptions. AMY: That’s right. As married couples, we should be the most open with one another. MICHAEL: But I just have to hear it from a female. Do you think oral sex is okay? AMY: I truly do think it’s okay. Within the confines of the relationship, I do. We are one man and one woman, and we are exploring each other’s bodies. We are created for each

Do you ever get into conflict? I’m in conflict every other day with my wife! And we help couples for a living! Today you are going to discover, possibly, the most important thing about resolving conflict…and you don’t know about it! But no longer, we are going to reveal this truth as we unpack resolving conflict as a couple. If you are going to resolve conflict, you have to have structure!LOVE Talk stands for Listen-Own-Validate-Express