Mindset Matters

Today, get yourself back on the right path. If you are struggling with grades, go speak with your teacher. Do it now. If you have wronged someone, write them a letter, set up a lunch appointment, or give them a phone call and tell them you are sorry. Do it now. If you are not getting to bed on time and waking up on time, apologize to yourself and get better at it. Do it now. If you are having problems in a relationship with a teammate, a coach, a spouse, or a boss…sit down and talk it out with them. Do it now. There is power in taking control of your own life and your own decisions. Take the reigns, and guide yourself to a more thoughtful, a more mindful, and a more complete life.

Everyone wants to be successful. Everyone wants to be remembered for doing something extraordinary. The difference from the good one’s and the great one’s is one thing to me. What do you do when you don’t feel like it? Because, to me, 75% of the time you won’t feel like it. You won’t feel like putting in the championship effort in your life. You won’t feel like the work is worth it. You won’t feel like going the extra mile will get you the reward. You will realize your strengths if you look for them. You will find your weaknesses if you look for them. Research and history has shown that those who find their strengths are usually successful at using those strengths to set themselves apart.

Fear and shame are valuable tools to destroy the souls of young men. Don’t let them in to your life. If they have already taken up real estate in your life, bring them to light! Take them out of the basement of your life and expose them to the light. They will dry up. They will go away. Sometimes the difference between failure and success or fear and courage, is just the fact that you held on a little longer. So today. Hold on a little longer. Wait for the sun to come back out. Be patient and the tide will roll out. There are good things to come.

You do not need permission from anyone to be great! Don’t sit around waiting for someone to tell you that you are ready to start chasing your dreams. Start today. Start small if you have to, but start.

It’s disturbing to me that today’s athlete seems to celebrate more when someone fails than they do when someone succeeds. It doesn’t have to be that way. Be the difference. Be great by being kind. Be successful by building others.

Confidence is the key to a successful athlete. It's the key to all success.

The book “what to say when you talk to yourself” says that 75% of the messages we send ourselves are negative. Can you imagine that? That’s scary to me. That means that 3 out of every 4 things I say to myself today are negative. In general, we need to take control of that conversation. It’s time to stop listening to ourselves and start talking to ourselves. One tool that can help is staying in the moment. In the article that I read today, 60% of our thoughts are in the future, and 30% of our thoughts are in the past. That leaves only 10% of our thoughts in the present. That is an unacceptable number to me. No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future. The trick is to be where your feet are. Practice being in the present. If you are with you spouse be with your spouse. If you are with your children be with you children. If you are playing a sport, just play your sport. You get the idea. In sport psychology we often say, “Don’t should all over yourself” Meaning, come ba

So here’s my challenge for you today. Think back to a time when you were super successful and super happy. What were you doing at that time in your life? This could range from daily routines and habits, to service for others, to a confident mindset. There are many factors that go into a successful and happy life. But think about it, and think about what you were doing at those times in your life that you felt super confident, successful, and happy. Now, take a little inventory and find out which of those things you are lacking. It could be many, or it could be one. The challenge today is to pick one of those things that you were doing, and implement it in your life again. Start with the easiest one, and slowly add some of the others in as you see fit. You’ll see an impact in your life almost immediately.

Relationships help us to flourish. When you have a good relationship, guard it with your life. Guard it as if you just found the Count of Monte Cristo’s hidden treasure. They don’t always come easy, but when they do, they are priceless. Water your friendships, fertilize your connections, and give light to the partners in your life.

My challenge to you today is to make a small change in how you use your phone. My guess is that you’ve already found a thousand excuses as to why you use the phone the way you do. Stop. No more excuses. Make a small change that can make a big difference in your life. Don’t overwhelm yourself.

At the end of the day. It’s a process. Part of learning to use productive self-talk with yourself is to actually realize and be aware when you are being negative. Using productive language can be a slump buster, it can be just the tool to get you out of a funk. Try it. Be creative with it. It can make all the difference.

Lastly, be kind to yourself. As you do so, you will see your world change. Talking about yourself in a positive and uplifting way will help others to treat you well and will help you to see the beauty in the things you are doing. Accepting compliments graciously will inspire people to see the good in you as well. We are all in this together. We live in a world that is full of negative influence. We also live in a world that is full of amazing, uplifting, positive, and beautiful people and messages. Let’s all make a better effort to seek out these things, and make other’s lives better with the treasures that we find.

My challenge to you today is to embrace your role wherever you are. If you are in charge of 9 year olds, knock it out of the park with 9 year olds. If you are in charge of cleaning up the office at the end of the day, make that place shine! Whatever your role, make people think it’s the most important job in the organization. It will be contagious. Be a fountain, not a drain. Wherever you are, bring beauty to it.

I would argue that our most important signatures are the one’s that no one sees. I am talking about a million small signatures. I am talking about the every day decision to put your name on every single day. Will I finish this work out? Or not. Will I put my best effort in for this team? Or not. Will I be a trustworthy person? Will I be a great teammate? Will I give my best effort? Will I prepare for this job interview? Will I prepare for this presentation? The list goes on and on. The truth is that your success and your performance is uniquely tied to your willingness to “put your signature” on these small moments of your life. The road to success, and failure, is quite literally a million small moments.

Be the voice for someone else. Whether it is for your spouse, your child, your sibling, your neighbor, your friend, or the person next to you on the bus. Be that voice. Figure out a way to build a relationship with someone so that when they are facing something difficult or challenging, that they hear your voice, and that when they hear your voice, it is positive and it pushes them over the top.

Practice bravery today. Do something today that you feel uncomfortable doing. Ask directions. Start a podcast. Have a crucial conversation with someone. Call a life coach and set an appointment. Apply for a job that is out of your league. Download a meditation app. Apologize to someone you’ve done wrong. Do it. Do it today. You’ve got everything to gain. You got this. I believe in you.

Embrace it. Embrace it all. Embrace the suck. Embrace the awesome. Embrace your faith. Embrace your family. It’s all an opportunity to grow and progress. And that’s the message. You are here to grow.

Start small, but start. Start today. You will see the difference as you change your life and change the life of others. Remember, never underestimate the power of a well timed, authentic and genuine compliment. It can make all the difference in someone’s life. More importantly, it can make all the difference in your life.

Remember, you were mentally tough long before you got to this point. Recognize your strengths daily. Build on them. Cultivate them. Water them. Fertilize them. It will make all the difference….Van Gogh didn’t become Van Gogh by focusing on the minute details of his paintings. In fact, he openly embraced the mess of his art, thus making him authentic and unforgettable in the process.

This conference I realized, that no matter how much we talk about the science, that our lives need to be filled with more heart. More heart in our relationships. More heart in our jobs. More heart in our hobbies. More heart in our conversations. More heart in everything we do. In essence, as much as I love talking about the mind, and mental toughness, and mindset….the truth is we all need more heart.